Understanding and Combating Boundary Burnout
In this episode of 'Say More About That,' host La Toya delves into the concept of boundary burnout—a form of emotional fatigue experienced after setting and maintaining boundaries. She explains that this exhaustion often arises from breaking old habits, managing both your emotions and those of others, and lacking recovery time.
La Toya provides practical steps to combat this burnout, including starting with small boundaries, scripting responses, planning recovery time, and expecting resistance. She concludes by emphasizing the importance of mental recovery to sustain healthy boundaries and protect one's peace.
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00:00 Introduction to Boundary Burnout
00:42 Defining Boundary Burnout
02:51 Reasons for Boundary Burnout
05:22 Strategies to Combat Boundary Burnout
08:26 Recovery Techniques
10:10 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Unpacking the Emotional Weight of Self-Abandonment
In this episode of 'Say More About That,' La Toya explores the emotional consequences of making choices that don't truly resonate with one's authentic self.
She discusses the concept of core beliefs, particularly the belief of not being enough, and how it leads to self-abandonment in pursuit of external validation.
The episode delves into the importance of identifying and challenging these beliefs, rewriting them, and aligning actions with one's true self. Practical steps are provided for beginning this deep emotional work, aiming to cultivate a life filled with choices that genuinely reflect who you are.
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00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:10 The Trap of Self-Abandonment
01:35 Understanding Core Beliefs
02:35 Steps to Change Core Beliefs
03:41 Living Authentically
07:20 Questions for Self-Reflection
Navigating Social Anxiety and Embracing Vulnerability
In this episode of 'Say More About That,' host La Toya delves into the sensitive topic of social anxiety, exploring the aftermath of feeling exposed when someone makes a casual yet impactful comment. She defines social anxiety using the DSM criteria, distinguishes it from shyness, and discusses the struggle between personal identity and external perception.
LaToya shares personal experiences and offers practical grounding practices for managing anxiety, emphasizing the importance of showing up authentically. She closes with a reminder of the strength it takes to be vulnerable and encourages listeners to embrace their true selves.
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00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:20 The Moment of Vulnerability
01:26 Understanding Social Anxiety
03:29 Defining Vulnerability
04:02 Identity vs. Perception
04:26 Personal Experience and Reflection
05:34 The Instinct to Retreat
10:15 Grounding Practices for Anxiety
11:51 Journal Prompts and Affirmations
12:50 Conclusion and Additional Support
Rediscovering Yourself: The Personal Journey of a Quiet Comeback this episode of 'Say More About That,' host La Toya delves into the true essence of a comeback—one that is personal, internal, and not for show. Unlike the performative 'bounce back' often seen on social media, this episode emphasizes healing, self-acceptance, and quiet strength.
La Toya discusses the pressures to appear okay and the struggle with overthinking, highlighting how crucial it is to reset your nervous system and genuinely connect with your inner self. The episode includes practical tips for grounding exercises, such as the '3, 3, 3' method, and encourages listeners to embrace their unique journeys of transformation.
Plus, La Toya shares her own experiences in the gym and offers a free three-day nervous system reset program to help listeners on their path to self-recovery.
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00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Podcast
00:32 The Myth of the Quick Comeback
01:28 The Quiet, Personal Comeback
02:11 Overthinking and Self-Doubt
02:32 Accepting Change and Moving Forward
03:43 Reframing Your Healing Journey
05:06 Resetting Your Nervous System
06:09 Practical Tips for Grounding Yourself
07:44 Movement as a Form of Healing
09:06 The Soft Return: A Free Resource
09:57 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Letting Go of What Isn't Yours: Emotional Awareness and Boundaries
In this episode, La Toya hosts an episode focusing on the emotional burdens people often carry that do not belong to them.
She explains how high-functioning individuals, especially women, are often praised for managing chaos, which can lead to unnecessary emotional strain. La Toya introduces a three-step framework—awareness, ownership, and release—to help individuals recognize and manage these burdens. She emphasizes the importance of setting emotional boundaries and releasing what is not theirs to carry.
The episode aims to help listeners create space for their well-being by letting go of unnecessary emotional weight.
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00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
01:25 The Weight We Carry: Understanding Emotional Burdens
03:15 Awareness: Identifying Unchosen Responsibilities
04:07 Ownership: Setting Emotional Boundaries
06:34 Release: Returning the Weight
07:56 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
08:34 Patreon and Additional Resources
The Power of Community: Embracing Support and Letting Go of Isolation
In this episode of 'Say More About That,' host La Toya explores the deep-seated notion that high-functioning individuals must do everything alone. She delves into the harmful effects of emotional perfectionism and emphasizes the importance of seeking support from a community.
La Toya suggests practical strategies for auditing your support system, asking for help, and allowing others to assist during challenging times. She highlights how vulnerability and community can foster resilience, regulation, and relief. Tune in for tips on evolving strength into discernment and delegation to avoid burnout.
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00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:12 The Myth of Doing It All Alone
00:52 The Praise and Perils of High Functioning
01:59 The Importance of Asking for Help
03:39 Strategies for Building Support Systems
06:30 The Role of Community in Personal Well-being
09:16 Conclusion and Call to Action
Balancing Burnout and Discipline: Insights for High Achieving Women
In this episode of Say More About That, we delve into the challenging dynamics between burnout and discipline, particularly for high-achieving women and high-functioning black women.
La Toya shares personal experiences of dealing with fatigue post-surgery and the internal conflict between feeling lazy and recognizing the need for rest. The episode offers a comprehensive definition of burnout, differentiates it from mere tiredness, and explores the unique pressures faced by high-functioning individuals.
Practical advice is given on recognizing when to rest versus when to apply discipline, advocating for a compassionate approach to self-care and productivity.
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00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:23 Personal Story: Recognizing Burnout
01:35 Understanding Burnout: Definitions and Symptoms
03:34 High-Functioning Women and Burnout
05:40 The Strong Black Woman Stereotype
06:49 The Importance of Rest in Discipline
08:36 Practical Tips for Balancing Rest and Discipline
10:10 Conclusion and Additional Support
Welcome to Say More About That—the podcast for high-functioning Black women learning to feel, heal, and set boundaries without guilt.
I’m La Toya, a therapist turned creator, here to hold space for the deep stuff: emotional regulation, gym-life healing, and what it really takes to choose yourself in a world that keeps asking for more.
New episodes drop every Monday. If you're ready to stop performing healing and start living it, hit follow, and let’s Say More About That.
Looking for deeper support? Join the Say More Crew! on Patreon for exclusive tools, journal prompts, practices, and EXCLUSIVE mini episodes.
If you have not done so already, please subscribe and comment today.
Other ways to connect and support my content:
Instagram @livinlatoya
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To learn more about La Toya visit her website
In this episode of Say More About That, host La Toya the Therapist guides listeners through a mid-year assessment.
She encourages viewers to reflect on their progress, despite any setbacks, and provides practical strategies to realign with their goals, peace, and purpose.
La Toya introduces three key practices: a Sunday self-audit for self-reflection, a boundary refresh to reassess personal limits, and micro-joy tracking to find small moments of happiness daily. The episode emphasizes the importance of being gentle with oneself and choosing to reset without guilt.
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00:00 Welcome and Mid-Year Check-In
01:16 Sunday Self Audit: Reflect and Realign
04:46 Boundary Refresh: Emotional Hygiene
07:47 Micro Joy Tracking: Finding Small Wins
10:20 Final Thoughts and Patreon Perks
In this episode of 'Say More About That,' host La Toya delivers a heartfelt message emphasizing the importance of honoring oneself rather than continually striving for perfection. She discusses the cultural pressures of constant self-improvement and rejects the idea of viewing oneself as a project to be fixed.
La Toya emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, acknowledging progress alongside pain, and recognizing that healing is a nonlinear journey. Sharing personal anecdotes and practical advice, she encourages listeners to embrace their humanity, prioritize self-compassion, and appreciate their current selves while evolving.
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00:00 Welcome and Introduction
00:24 The Pressure of Constant Self-Improvement
02:00 You Are Not a Project
02:40 Healing is Not Perfection
06:22 Holding Progress and Pain with Self-Compassion
08:07 Real Self-Growth vs. Self-Rejection
10:22 Closing Thoughts and Announcements
In this episode of Say More About That, host La Toya, the Therapist, discusses the importance of protecting your peace and setting boundaries without feeling guilty. She challenges the common misconception that putting yourself first is selfish and emphasizes that boundaries are sacred and necessary for mental and emotional well-being.
La Toya explains what it means to protect your peace, addresses the guilt often associated with setting boundaries, and offers practical tips for asserting yourself while maintaining healthy relationships. The episode also includes a discussion on the cultural conditioning that particularly affects women, and a call to rethink how we approach boundaries in our lives.
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00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:16 Understanding Selfishness and Boundaries
01:09 Defining and Protecting Your Peace
03:06 The Struggle with Guilt
03:58 Real-Life Examples and Lessons
05:11 Healthy vs. Unhealthy Guilt
07:36 The Importance of Boundaries in Relationships
09:03 Practical Tips for Setting Boundaries
10:55 Affirming Your Why and Using Neutral Language
In this episode, we discuss strategies for handling emotional triggers without reacting impulsively. Key techniques include validating your emotions, utilizing body movement and breath work, co-regulating with a calm individual, and later reflecting on your triggers. A highlight is the STOP skill, which involves stopping, taking a step back, observing the situation, and proceeding mindfully to align your actions with your values. The episode emphasizes that while feeling intense emotions is normal, managing your response is essential.
Additional resources like journal prompts and worksheets are available on Patreon.
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00:00 Introduction to Emotional Regulation
06:02 Validating Your Emotions
06:20 Using Your Body to Regulate Your Mind
06:36 Breath Work Techniques
06:54 Co-Regulation and Support Systems
07:13 Reflecting on Emotional Triggers
08:31 The STOP Skill
09:50 Proceeding Mindfully
10:08 Healing and Growing in Real Time
10:58 Staying Connected to Yourself
11:24 Conclusion and Additional Resources
The gift of intuitionIn this episode of Say More About That, host La Toya the therapist, delves into the significance of intuition and why it often gets ignored in favor of logic and external validation. She explains how intuition is a calm, internal knowing that guides us before logical reasoning kicks in.
She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and trusting your own inner voice and provides practical tips on how to strengthen it. By getting quiet, practicing body awareness, and honoring small intuitive nudges, listeners can reconnect with their inner wisdom. She highlights the difference between intuition and anxiety, noting that intuition is steady and knowing while anxiety is rooted in questioning.
The episode also explores the reasons behind our tendency to dismiss intuition and the consequences of doing so. La Toya encourages listeners to ask themselves what their intuition is telling them and offers additional resources on her Patreon for those looking to dive deeper.
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00:00 Introduction and Mother's Day Wishes00:16 Today's Topic: Trusting Your Intuition01:12 Defining Intuition02:33 Why We Ignore Our Intuition04:37 Intuition vs. Anxiety and Fear08:05 Strengthening Your Intuition08:27 Practical Tips to Reconnect with Intuition10:49 Reflecting on Intuition11:39 Conclusion and Call to Action
Understanding and Overcoming Rejection with La Toya the Therapist.
In this episode of 'Say More About That, La Toya dives deep into the topic of rejection, exploring its painful emotional impact and offering insights on how to cope and heal. She emphasizes that rejection is an experience rather than an identity, and she explains the biological basis of why rejection hurts. She provides strategies for dealing with rejection, including the importance of challenging negative narratives and affirming self-worth from within.
La Toya also shares personal anecdotes to illustrate how rejection can be a form of protection, guiding listeners to better opportunities.
Additionally, she shares the much-awaited announcement of the new Patreon community, 'Say More Crew,' inviting listeners to join for exclusive content and support.
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00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:51 Defining Rejection
02:01 The Biological Impact of Rejection
02:56 Rejection and Self-Worth
06:26 Rejection as a Teacher
12:52 Healing from Rejection
17:06 Join the Say More Crew on Patreon
18:29 Closing Remarks
The Power of Acceptance: Transforming Pain into Growth
In this episode of Say More About That, La Toya, a licensed therapist, dives into the transformative power of acceptance. She explains that acceptance is not about giving up or liking difficult situations, but acknowledging reality without resistance.
La Toya elaborates on how acceptance can reduce suffering, help us respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively, and open the door to personal growth. She also clarifies that acceptance does not mean agreement with the circumstances. She then provides practical steps to practice acceptance, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion, focusing on control, and creating daily mantras. The episode encourages listeners to see acceptance as a gift that frees up emotional energy for healing and intentional decision-making.
La Toya concludes with a reminder that acceptance is a daily practice that ultimately brings peace and power.
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00:00 Introduction and Today's Topic
00:52 Defining Acceptance
02:09 The Power of Acceptance
04:55 What Acceptance is Not
06:24 Practicing Acceptance
10:17 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
The Power of the Pivot: Embracing Change and Personal Growth
In this episode of 'Say More About That,' La Toya discusses the concept of pivoting and why it's crucial for personal growth and alignment with one's goals and values. She explains what a pivot is, why we resist it, and how to overcome fears associated with change.
La Toya emphasizes that pivoting isn't about failure, but about making an intentional and mindful shift to better serve our current needs. She shares personal anecdotes and practical steps to help listeners recognize when it's time to pivot and how to approach the process thoughtfully. This episode aims to empower listeners to embrace change and adapt to a more fulfilling life.
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00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:40 Defining the Pivot
01:23 Personal Experience with Pivoting
02:13 Common Misconceptions About Pivoting
03:33 Why We Resist Change
09:04 Recognizing When It's Time to Pivot
11:11 Steps to Successfully Pivot
14:58 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
In this episode of 'Say More About That,' La Toya, the therapist, discusses the profound impact of our narratives and how they shape our lives. She explains that these internal stories often originate from childhood experiences, societal messages, and trauma.
La Toya highlights the importance of identifying and challenging negative narratives, sharing personal anecdotes about her own struggles with feeling friendless. She provides practical exercises for listeners to uncover their internalized stories, challenge them, and replace them with more empowering beliefs.
The episode encourages self-compassion, personal growth, and proactive steps towards rewriting one's narrative.
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00:00 Welcome and Apologies
00:42 Understanding Narratives
03:01 Impact of Negative Narratives
04:35 Personal Story: Overcoming False Narratives
06:33 Identifying and Challenging Your Narratives
10:21 Rewriting Your Story
13:48 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Embracing Imperfection and Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations
In this episode of Say More About That, La Toya delves into the importance of embracing imperfection and shedding unrealistic expectations.
La Toya defines what expectations are, explains how they are formed, and examines the costs of striving for perfection. She offers practical advice on how to identify, challenge, and reframe unrealistic standards.
The episode emphasizes the value of authenticity, the freedom that comes with accepting imperfections, and the need for self-compassion. Listeners are encouraged to let go of societal and self-imposed pressures to find true joy and fulfillment.
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00:00 Welcome and Introduction
00:31 Defining Expectations
01:26 The Pressure of Perfection
02:48 Consequences of Unrealistic Expectations
05:12 Embracing Imperfection
06:15 Practical Steps to Let Go of Unrealistic Standards
08:50 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
In this episode of Say More About That, host La Toya the Therapist delves into the transformative power of gratitude.
La Toya discusses the importance of consistently practicing gratitude to shift focus from what we lack to what we have, debunking common myths such as gratitude being 'toxic positivity' and requiring grand gestures.
She offers practical tips like keeping a gratitude journal, expressing gratitude to others, practicing gratitude in the moment, and using gratitude affirmations.
La Toya also advises on overcoming challenges in maintaining a gratitude practice, emphasizing its impact on mental health and overall well-being.
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00:00 Introduction to Gratitude
00:54 Defining Gratitude
01:39 Debunking Gratitude Myths
04:11 Simple Ways to Practice Gratitude
08:22 Overcoming Challenges in Gratitude Practice
11:55 Conclusion and Call to Action
In this episode of Say More About That, La Toya discusses prioritizing your mental health without feeling guilty. She explores the definition of mental health, the societal expectations leading to guilt, and why it's crucial to care for your mental well-being.
La Toya provides practical strategies such as setting boundaries, scheduling self-care, and practicing morning mindfulness. She encourages listeners to challenge internalized beliefs about self-care being selfish and to embrace the necessary steps to ensure overall well-being.
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Meditation Podcast mentioned in the Show: Love Your Calm
00:00 Introduction to Prioritizing Mental Health
00:37 Defining Mental Health
01:39 Why We Feel Guilty About Self-Care
05:31 Overcoming Guilt and Prioritizing Self-Care
10:05 Practical Tips for Daily Mental Health
12:42 Handling Guilt and Final Thoughts