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Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to today’s episode, where we talk about 8 life areas to declutter to calm chaos & overwhelm and release emotional baggage
In the beginning we discuss the controversial if trauma is responsible for a lot of the clutter in our life
And we explore in depth all of the 8 areas and come up with solutions to declutter
► Links and Resources:
Traumatic and stressful life events in hoarding article: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8312593/
Hoarding and Trauma article: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2211364917301793
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Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:46 Clutter And Trauma
10:32 Household Clutter
13:58 Time/Capacity Clutter
16:23 Career Clutter
19:04 Financial Clutter
21:56 Physical Health Clutter
25:16 Relationship Clutter
28:24 Emotional Clutter
36:05 Mental Clutter
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
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While working with 4 different therapists in the past years, I’ve learned a ton of powerful self-care habits.
Here are my top 7, ranked from least to most impact, to reclaim self-worth.
But surprisingly, habits 6 and 7 are the simplest effective at the same time.
► Links and Resources:
Toxic Shame Episode:
https://youtu.be/qqDURsvDZmM?si=iQdhxHnDYiQ_o4GS
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:33 Habit 1: Wordless Mirror-Work
2:53 Habit 2: Re-Regulation Tools & Resources
06:01 Habit 3: Express Needs
08:31 Habit 4: Wear Clothes That Feel Like You
09:59 Habit 5: Daily Boundary Check-In
11:43 Habit 6: Use A Grounding Reminder App
13:31 Habit 7: Set A Reminder For Your Sense Of Self
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
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If your relationships look like this: One moment you're deeply connected — the next, you're pulling away and don't want any contact with that person.
Or you have the feeling that you are somehow addicted and dependent on another person.
This isn’t just drama.
But it’s the emotional rollercoaster of trauma bonding — a pattern that’s especially common if you grew up with chaos, neglect, or emotional unpredictability.
In this video, we’ll explore why love can feel like a roller coaster
How all this is linked to an anxious, avoidant or disorganized attachment style
Which role narcissistic abuse plays in all of that
and how to finally break free from the chaos… to master real, secure connection — even if you never saw that growing up.
► Links and Resources:
10 Signs of a Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8?si=Hakj_BVayQasc134
Intermittent Reinforcement Article: https://www.catharticspacecounseling.com/blog/stuck-in-a-toxic-cycle-this-psychological-pattern-might-be-why
Trauma Bonding Video By Tim Fletcher: https://www.youtube.com/live/xIf4uJ94r3o?si=4C1KYflrBZs_dxtM
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Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
01:02 What is Trauma Bonding?
04:33 How Childhood Trauma Creates This Pattern
07:06 The Role of The Narcissist
09:47 Challenges in Breaking Free
11:48 How To Rebuild Healthy Relationships After a Chaotic Childhood
12:00 Step 1: Clarity For The Trauma-Bond
13:05 Step 2: Get Away From Any Toxic Relationship
13:53 Step 3: Understand What A "Healthy" Partner Is
15:07 Step 4: Find The Right People For You Healing
16:00 Step 5: Dance The Connection/Autonomy Dance
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
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If you're on social media these days, everyone tells you the same thing: 'Just listen to your gut feeling.'
But I want to say the opposite is true.
Because what if your strongest intuition — your so-called gut feeling — is actually coming out of a past wound?
This is true for everyone who experienced childhood trauma.
In this video, I’ll reveal to you 7 clear signs that it’s trauma — not your intuition — speaking.
My goal is that after this video you can tell for sure if it's your gut instinct speaking, or a past trauma reaction.
Plus, I’ll share some of the best tools, techniques, and strategies I’ve learned over four years of therapy to help you reconnect with your true gut instinct.
► Links and Resources:
Commitment Issues Video:
https://youtu.be/SUECZtfGkEM?si=0NIn5fjYfkHL1SAN
Somatic Symptoms Video:
https://youtu.be/lwhrWvjcOq0?si=gEKaF2NUR899j1mL
Hypervigilance Video:
https://youtu.be/Mhoa6_53StI?si=B07c4KL8NprA8B-S
Neuroception Article: https://khironclinics.com/blog/polyvagal-theory-neuroception-the-fundament-of-feeling/
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
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Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
01:00 Personal Story
02:47 Real Gut Feeling: Location & Sensation Breakdown
05:28 Why You Can’t Trust Your Gut Feeling
08:14 Sign 1: You Overthink And Expect The Worst, Even When Things Are Calm
09:16 Sign 2: You Struggle To Trust People, Even If They've Never Hurt You
10:52 Sign 3: You're Afraid They Might Leave, Even If Nothing's Wrong
11:55 Sign 4: You Overreact To Small Things, And It Feels Huge In The Moment
12:46 Sign 5: You're Always On Alert, Even When There's No Visible Threat
13:55 Sign 6: You Avoid People Or Places, And You're Not Sure Why
15:44 Sign 7: You Feel Uneasy When Things Are Actually Calm
17:16 How To Reconnect With Your Real Intuition
19:32 Tools, Skills & Resources For Regulating Trauma Responses
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial: https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
Are you in this situation right now, where you desperately wish nothing more, than that a specific person in your life would change?Maybe your partner who keeps shutting down emotionally?Your dad who’s slowly destroying himself with unhealthy habits?Or Your daughter making decisions that feel absolutely impossible to watch?If you’re feeling the urge right now that’s it’s your job to fix them, to somehow save them — then this episode is for you.Because here’s the honest truth upfront:You can’t change them. And you shouldn’t try.I know that might feel like giving up.But you can do something instead - and this is what we’re talking about in this video.
► Links and Resources:
Between Stimulus and Response Lies Our Freedom Episode: https://youtu.be/XGJFXLEfdpc?si=zBO77fGiQViBEmTW
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Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:52 3 Saver Roles You Play, When Trying To Fix Someone You Love
05:20 Why It Was Never Your Job To “Fix” Them
06:47 Trying To Fix Someone? Try These 3 Steps!
13:19 Final Thoughts
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
Sometimes our emotional world, feels like a battlefield.
So do you often feel like you’re fighting an invisible war inside your own body?
Like sounds, lights, and emotions are too much?
No one might see it, BUT you’re not alone.
This is sensory overload caused by complex trauma which causes you to be easily triggered, feeling overwhelm ed and burned out.
In this video, we’ll break down why your nervous system feels like a battlefield,
what the causes behind your overwhelm and shutdown are
and a ton of resources I collected during years of therapy that can help you surviving and calm you down.
► Links and Resources:
Hypervigilance Episode:
HSP vs. ASD Episode:
https://youtu.be/sib1ok3a6-w?si=E2gIexDhZedOh9VN
Sensory Overload and PTSD Paper: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9720153
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Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00
00:52 Personal Story
02:09 Understanding CPTSD And Sensory Overload
04:50 CPTSD Vs. Neurodivergence Vs. Sensory Sensitivity
08:25 Identifying Your Unique Triggers
10:32 Re-Regulation & Grounding Techniques
10:53 Technique 1: The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
11:17 Technique 2: Movement Skills
11:58 Technique 3: Shower Technique
12:55 Technique 4: Emergency Exit Technique
13:33 Sensory Overwhelm Self-Care Routines
14:05 Routine 1: Create A Low-Stimulation Environment
15:23 Routine 2: Nervous System Hygiene = Daily Self-Care
16:58 Routine 3: Communicate Your Sensory Needs & Set Boundaries
18:24 Long Term Healing
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
There is one reason, why so many of us are feeling not good enough.
No matter how much you achieve or how many people tell you otherwise, you still sometimes just want to disappear, because you're feeling so degraded and thinskinned.
But the thing is: That voice inside you that keeps saying, ‘You’re not enough’… it didn’t start with you.
You weren’t born believing that. It was planted there — and it’s been shaping the way you see yourself ever since.
And in today's video, we’re going to look at where that belief really comes from, what toxic shame actually is, how it can quietly control every area of your life without you even realizing it… and most importantly, what you can do to finally break free from it.
► Links and Resources:
Toxic Shame Episode:
https://youtu.be/9XpiOkHSpjI?si=Ndp7XgXXWlqMazoN
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
01:05 Where “I’m Not Good Enough” Comes From
03:48 Toxic Shame: The Root Of It All
10:04 Why You Keep Ending Up In The Same Pain
11:33 How To Stop Feeling “Not Good Enough”
12:17 Step 1: Realize: It Was Never Your Fault!
13:01 Step 2: Replace Self-Criticism With Compassion
14:33 Step 3: Train Yourself To Interrupt The Cycle As Often As Possible
15:25 Step 4 : Create New Relationship Experiences
16:30 Step 5: Use Re-Regulation-Tools And Resources
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
What if your constant battle with shame, burnout, or the feeling that something’s wrong with you… isn’t actually about you? But what if it’s about your childhood?
In this video, we’re unmasking one of the most important studies on trauma ever conducted (interestingly enough I’ve never talked about it here on the channel before) — the famous ACE Study — Adverse Childhood Experiences.
We’ll uncover what it reveals about how your childhood silently rewired your brain, your body, and your entire sense of self.
How this is affecting nearly every area of your adult life
And most importantly: what you can do to break free from the patterns from your past and stop passing the trauma to the next young generation.
► Links and Resources:
Physical Symptoms Episode:
https://youtu.be/lwhrWvjcOq0?si=jIcStaNgfG5zNu2-
Hypervigilance Episode:
https://youtu.be/Mhoa6_53StI?si=EFEcJAmUOYVA1Mj-
ACE Study Full Paper: https://www.ajpmonline.org/article/s0749-3797(98)00017-8/pdf
Dr. Vincent J. Felitti:
ACE Study CDC: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/about.html
ACE Study Results CDC: https://www.cdc.gov/aces/about/index.html
Canadian ACE:
https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2022001/article/00016-eng.htm
ACE and Cancer:
https://www.nature.com/articles/s44184-025-00138-6
ACE and Depression: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032724001484
ACE and Suicidality: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6220625/
ACE and Life Outcomes:
https://therapyinanutshell.com/ace-study/
Trauma and Brain Change: https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-024-06306-w
ACE Quiz:
https://americanspcc.org/take-the-aces-quiz/
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
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Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:55 Why The ACE Study Mattered So Much
02:38 The 10 ACE’s
04:21 ACE Study Findings: Trauma is way more common than we think
05:44 How ACE’s Drastically Sabotage Your Adult Life
08:44 What Trauma Does To The Brain And Body
10:42 Not All Adversity Is Bad
11:58 Healing From The Consequences Of ACEs
12:06 Step 1: Awareness & Re-Connection With Yourself
13:42 Step 2: Relearning Safety Through Relationships
14:43 Step 3: Rebuild The Skills You Were Never Taught
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
Today we’re talking about: 10 Things People with Trauma Do Without Realizing.
► Links and Resources:
Attachment Style Episode: https://youtu.be/1S-YK065XLA?si=cnxWk5WsT8GveNk8
Social Anxiety Episode: https://youtu.be/h17cBx7b5UQ?si=wASNhO_rR6nXNsRP
High Tension Episode: https://youtu.be/J5Ys0iYRitg?si=zVsAWD08GAbHssfq
Somatic Symptoms Episode: https://youtu.be/lwhrWvjcOq0?si=Bc-e28H4xMfai2Dd
Trauma vs. ADHD Episode: https://youtu.be/limKlx4h_F4?si=lOol2BfEfFZhXyUd
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
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Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 What You Will Learn
02:10 1) To Them Closeness Feels Like A Threat
04:16 2) They Need A Lot Of Alone Time
07:07 3) They Are Highly Successful
10:46 4) They Travel A Lot
13:21 5) They Don’t Ask For Help
17:32 6) They’re Always Tensioned / On High Alert
21:00 7) They Feel Guilty For Everything At Any Time
25:05 8) They Have Unexplainable Physical Symptoms
28:06 9) They Appear To Have It All Together
30:55 10) They Appear Off / Inattentive
33:30 The Link With The Nervous System (Poly Vagal Theory)
37:00 Healing Trauma Symptoms
42:50 Outro
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
In the past 5 years, I’ve worked with 4 therapists on my childhood trauma, which was hijacking my relationships and causing constant anxiety.
But while therapy helped me making a lot of progress and becoming a more confident and self-aware person, it didn’t completely fixed my trauma symptoms.
I always felt like there is some puzzle piece missing.
But after spending nearly 4.000 $ on therapy, I had to try something new.
And surprisingly, while doing that, I finally found it.
The missing piece!
What I finally learned, what my 4 therapists couldn’t teach me, I will share with you in today’s video.
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:58 My Healing Journey So Far
04:09 Lesson 1: Re-Connecting With Yourself
06:06 Lesson 2: Stop Masking, Express Your Emotions
07:45 Lesson 3: Communicating Needs
08:36 Lesson 4: Setting Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty
09:42 The Missing Puzzle Piece That “Fixed” Me
13:35 Final Thoughts
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
Do you ever find yourself replaying that one conversation from three weeks ago… again?
You know, the one where you said that “wrong” thing and now your brain won’t let it go?
You’re lying in bed, exhausted but your mind is still running a marathon of “what ifs” and “why did I say thats?”
You obsess over a tiny mistake… and suddenly it feels like your whole character is on trial.
What if I told you… that relentless mental noise isn’t just overthinking.
But it might be trauma - for example from childhood.
In this video, we’re unpacking the hidden link between complex trauma and overthinking — and how to finally break free from the cycle that’s been hijacking your peace for so long.
► Links and Resources:
Hypervigilance Episode:
https://youtu.be/Mhoa6_53StI?si=pcSnqYXr4b93QDN_
Shaolin Master Shi Heng Yi on Overthinking: https://youtu.be/kgF_GqyfSMI?si=Vo1b2AdN4R9Tvoac
Overthinking Article:
https://www.talkiatry.com/blog/why-do-i-overthink-everything
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
01:04 Overthinking
02:30 How Overthinking Feels Like
03:42 The Hidden Root: Trauma
05:57 The Cycle Of Overthinking
08:30 How To Break The Cycle Of Overthinking
10:18 Step 1: Name It, To Tame It
10:57 Step 2: Re-Regulation Resources
12:30 Step 3: Boundaries With Your Thoughts
13:34 Step 4: Self-Containment
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
Do you associate intimate relationships with panic, overwhelm, chronic gut pain or the feeling of being trapped?
Well, then you’re not alone. I had this for years and my biggest wish was to just “feel normal” and relaxed with my partner.
But the good news is, there is a way to make relationships not feeling so painful and anxiety driven anymore.
After a handful of exhausting breakups and through years of therapy I figured out 5 game changing lessons, that completely transformed my relationship life.
Therefore in this video today, I will reveal to you why intimate relationships might overwhelm you in the first place and what exactly you can do to finally feel safer.
► Links and Resources:
Physical Symptoms Episode:
https://youtu.be/lwhrWvjcOq0?si=0JBQbqOVUHVI_vQLHypervigilance Episode:
https://youtu.be/Mhoa6_53StI?si=tHy3yB4DUlBO12EF
4 Attachment Styles Episode:
https://youtu.be/1S-YK065XLA?si=8L1AFSK39AvABNoX
Sensory Processing Sensitivity Article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_processing_sensitivity
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:56 The Uneasy Gut Feeling
02:55 What’s Behind The Overwhelm
07:55 Lesson 1: Understanding My Sensitive Nervous System
10:18 Lesson 2: Understanding & Expressing My Needs
12:37 Lesson 3: Learning To Name My Emotions
14:22 Lesson 4: Understanding My Lack Of Boundaries
16:24 Lesson 5: Building Inner Holding (Self-Containment)
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
Do you know that painful feeling when you have to cross a busy city center and it feels like all eyes are on you?
Or that intense discomfort walking into a room full of people at a party that is already in full swing, like you're exposed, like you don’t belong there?
That’s the quiet torment of social anxiety. And if you’ve felt it, you’re not alone.
But… what if it didn’t have to be this way?
What if you could feel calm, grounded — even confident — in those same situations… without having to fake it?
In today’s episode, I’ll break down the hidden trauma cycle behind social anxiety.
And by the end, I’ll show you two powerful ways to begin breaking free from it — for real.
► Links and Resources:
Joseph Campbell Quote: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/11602-the-privilege-of-a-lifetime-is-being-who-you-are
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:52 Why Social Anxiety Is Often About Trauma, Not Shyness
02:45 The Cycle Of Social Anxiety
04:40 Beating The Cycle Of Social Anxiety
14:57 Final Thoughts
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
Have you always thought of yourself as “a shy person”?
Do you prefer quiet spaces? Social events exhaust you? And do you need a lot of alone time to recharge?
What if… that’s not just introversion?
What if something deeper — something fear-driven — is hiding behind your so-called introvert personality?
Today, we’ll uncover five signs that you might not just be introverted…
But you’re actually dealing with social anxiety.
We will clarify common misconceptions about these two and you will also learn, where your social anxiety actually has its roots.
► Links and Resources:
Trauma and Social Anxiety Article: https://psychcentral.com/ptsd/childhood-trauma-social-anxiety
Physical Symptoms Episode:
https://youtu.be/lwhrWvjcOq0?si=ub35EEp2hZDyTDbK
Inner Tension Episode:
https://youtu.be/J5Ys0iYRitg?si=TeSWbbBGtA3vEspW
Hypervigilance Episode:
https://youtu.be/Mhoa6_53StI?si=732jl86Z8oVoDq65
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:52 Why We Mix Up Introversion & Anxiety
02:19 Introversion
03:28 Social Anxiety
04:30 5 Signs You’re Not Just “Shy”
04:84 Sign 1: You Feel Physically Tense In Social Settings
06:11 Sign 2: You Cancel Plans Out Of Panic, Not Peace
07:52 Sign 3: You Crave Connection But Fear Being Seen
09:34 Sign 4: You're Hyper-Aware Of How You're Being Perceived
11:16 Sign 5: You Shape-Shift To Avoid Judgement
12:55 Misconception 1: Introverts Are Antisocial
13:09 Misconception 2: Social Anxiety Is A Weakness
13:38 Misconception 3: You Just Need To "Get Out Of Your Shell"
17:14 Final Thoughts
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
Over the past decade, I ended five long-term relationships.
And each time, I convinced myself I was better off alone.
But what I didn’t realize back then was this:
That my relationships didn’t work wasn’t about my partners.
It wasn’t even really about me.
It was unresolved childhood trauma, quietly hijacking my gut feelings, sabotaging my relationships, and shaping how I showed up in love.
In today’s video, I want to uncover how early emotional wounds act like a hidden puppet master in our relationships…
What’s truly behind your attachment style…
And how you can finally break the cycle of painful patterns and partners that never feel safe.
Ready for some real “aha” moments?
► Links and Resources:
Emotional Dysregulation Episode: https://youtu.be/Q0iGqa7y6BA?si=dkhPhvMPJxzTZj14
I Overcame My Avoidant Attachment Style Episode:
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
01:01 How Trauma Sabotaged My Relationships
04:11 How Trauma Shapes Love
05:44 How Trauma Hijacks Your Emotions
05:51 Hijacked By Traum: Your Emotions
08:42 Hijacked By Trauma: Your Behaviour
09:53 Hijacked By Trauma: Your Attachment Style
11:09 Hijacked By Trauma: Your Value Compass
12:48 Hijacked By Trauma: Your Identity
13:26 The Cycle
17:13 How To Break The Cycle
17:38 Step 1: Create Awareness For What's Going On
19:53 Step 2: Understand Your Attachment Style
21:41 Step 3: Stop Chasing Only What Feels Familiar
23:58 Step 4: Learn The Skills For Healthy Love
26:09 Final Thoughts
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
Maybe you're like me — you grew up thinking your childhood was “good.”
There was no big trauma. Not much screaming and fights, no chaos.
Your parents were around. You had everything you needed… on paper.
But what if I told you that a childhood that looked good can still leave deep emotional wounds?
In my case, it wasn’t just the “bad” things that happened — It was the good things that didn’t.
The safety, the attunement, the emotional presence I never knew I was missing sometimes.
If you feel emotionally numb, unworthy, or like you never quite belong —this might be yours too.
In this video, I’ll share how I discovered the hidden impact of emotional neglect, the surprising ways it showed up in my life and ruined my relationships, and the 5 steps I actually needed to go to heal and finally build real, connected relationships.
And let me tell you: It wasn’t just therapy!
► Links and Resources:
How I Overcame My Commitment Issues: https://youtu.be/6jyaHgwGYbk
Love vs Limerence:
https://youtu.be/mmNjDwdPwOA?si=_gPstbGBPxkpIPwb
I Replaced My Therapist With ChatGPT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRo6PgSiB3w&t=229s
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:01:12 What Emotional Neglect Is
03:45 How Emotional Neglect Showed Up In Me
09:58 The Moment I Understood Emotional Neglect
11:43 How I Overcame Emotional Neglect
23:51 Final Thoughts
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
Have you ever snapped over something small — especially with someone you love — and then felt terrible about it afterwards? You're not a bad person. But there is a reason for that anger.
In today’s episode, we’re going to uncover the real reason why you keep exploding over the tiniest things — especially in your closest relationships. And here’s the truth: it’s almost never about the other person or what triggered you in the moment.
Sounds confusing? We’ll break down what’s really going on inside you — and what it actually takes to stop these reactions for good.
Not by suppressing your emotions or forcing yourself to 'stay calm'... but by understanding and healing the root cause.
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:59 Anger In Close Relationships
03:21 The Real Reason For Your Anger
05:34 Identifying Your Triggers
09:07 How To Break The Cycle
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
Do you feel like something’s always a little off —
like your emotions hit too hard, or not at all…
and no one sees the battle you're fighting inside?
That might not be anxiety. Or burnout.
It could be Complex PTSD —
the result of prolonged emotional trauma that never had space to heal.
In this video, I’ll walk you through every core CPTSD symptom from the most common to the least known — clearly, quickly, and in real human language. But trust me, the last one is sometimes even missed by professionals!
► Links and Resources:
Hypervigilance Episode:
https://youtu.be/Mhoa6_53StI?si=Hyy6p_4o1cLYmrx-
How I Overcame Avoidant Attachment Episode:
Dissociation Episode:
https://youtu.be/UZsTUS_jlYg?si=kE0UyssKllrskiCH
Disorganized Attachment Style:
https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8?si=NJM8ebzQmpYZfU0t
Somatic Symptoms:
https://youtu.be/lwhrWvjcOq0?si=YXJUFNCV3YpiCurF
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:53 CPTSD Simply Explained
01:54 Symptom 1: Big Emotional Swings
02:19 Symptom 2: Always On Edge
03:09 Symptom 3: Overreacting To “Small” Things
04:53 Symptom 4: Trouble Sleeping
05:26 Symptom 5: Reliving and Experiencing The Past
06:02 Symptom 6: Avoiding Anything That Feels Unsafe
06:46 Symptom 7: Zoning Out Or Numbing
07:43 Symptom 8: Push-Pull Relationships
08:36 Symptom 9: Toxic And Abusive Relationship Drama
09:28 Symptom 10: Body Pain, But No Doctor Knows Why
10:22 Symptom 11: Harsh Inner Critic
11:15 Symptom 12: Substance Abuse
12:00 Symptom 13: Bullying
12:56 Symptom 14: Space Out Or Losing Focus
13:34 Symptom 15: Missing Memories And Forgetfulness
14:35 Solutions
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
In the past 10 years, I sabotaged five long-term relationships.
At first I thought it was my intuition - my gut feeling - telling me I hadn’t met the right person yet.
But through therapy, I discovered something deeper:
It wasn’t my partners. It was me.
Specifically, my avoidant attachment style… and a deep, hidden fear of commitment I didn’t even know I had.
In this video, I’m sharing the full story of how I went from running away from intimacy… to finally being able to stay—emotionally, mentally, and physically—in a real, loving relationship.
You’ll learn why closeness can feel terrifying when you’re avoidantly attached, how we self-sabotage without knowing it, and most importantly:
The breakthrough that finally helped me stop fearing love.
► Links and Resources:
Physical Pain Symptoms Episode: https://youtu.be/lwhrWvjcOq0?si=FZvH__BWNZtkemOV
Anxious Attachment Style Episode: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY?si=dZ46bDFhdfgWBCQx
Ego Defense Mechanisms:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK559106/
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
01:06 Signs You’re Having Fear Of Commitment/Avoidant Attachment
05:10 What Is Fear Of Commitment/Avoidant Attachment?
07:16 Ego Defenses And Protection Mechanisms
12:05 Deep Beliefs & Identity Illusion
14:50 Wrong Partner Or Avoidant Attachment?
16:25 Overcoming Avoidant Attachment & Stopping Commitment Fears
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
I’ve been digging into these topics for years now:
Trauma, specifically Complex PTSD,
Neurodivergence, aka Autism and ADHD
and also Depression, the number one mental health struggle of our sick society.
And here’s what hit me:
Even though these conditions seem totally different…
they all have one surprising thing in common.
There’s a hidden overlap — and most people, including professionals, miss it.
But here’s the twist that is interesting for YOU and me:
That overlap doesn’t just explain why so many of us are misdiagnosed…
…it also reveals a whole new way to actually manage and heal what you’re going through.
And I’ll show you exactly how at the end of this episode, after we dived into each of these three.
► Links and Resources:
Avoidance Episode:
https://youtu.be/PP9dvNWZ8p4?si=eNtPPfjQnaMJcNdw
Hyposensitivity Episode:
https://youtu.be/A6USY9ECbkM?si=N2iJqqzuf8QGtKVt
Borderline vs Bipolar Episode:
Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx
Depression Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15953797/
Nature vs Nurture in PTSD: https://news.yale.edu/2020/10/01/nurture-trumps-nature-determining-severity-ptsd-symptoms
Nature vs Nurture in Autism/ADHD: https://www.sequoiabehavioralhealth.org/blogs/nature-vs-nurture
History of Depression:
https://www.verywellmind.com/who-discovered-depression-1066770
ADHD & Depression:
https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
01:01 Overview: Trauma, Autism/ADHD, Depression
02:35 Trauma
08:40 Neurodivergence
14:03 Depression
18:22 The Overlap
22:11 Managing And Healing
24:46 Solutions Storytelling
29:11 Final Thoughts
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
