Are you thriving in your marriage, or just surviving it? In this deeply personal and powerful episode of Weaponized Marriage, Kendra and Dr. Ryan return from a transformative plant medicine retreat with raw revelations and a bold new framework for intentional partnership. They dive into the difference between coexisting and co-creating in marriage, and what it really takes to build a relationship that lasts.
Kendra opens up about the emotional turbulence leading up to the retreat, including her fear of sharing hard truths with Dr. Ryan. What unfolds is a brutally honest conversation about safety, emotional, physical, and financial, and how couples can begin to rebuild trust in places where silence once lived. Together, they unpack how unresolved stories from childhood and unspoken expectations in adulthood can quietly sabotage even the strongest of relationships.
The highlight of the episode is their four-legged “Purposeful Marriage” framework, Producer, Protector, Parenting, and Personal, that offers couples a way to assess the stability of their marriage and grow with intention. It’s not just about money or sex; it’s about building something sacred, together.
Key Takeaways:
How emotional safety is just as critical as physical safety in a marriage
Why men need to learn when to pick up the sword, and when to lay it down
What to do when old wounds hijack your current reactions
The power of the “Purposeful Marriage Table” and its four supporting legs
How plant medicine helped them uncover hidden truths and step into healing
"If you're not growing, you're staying stagnant, and you're dying." – Kendra Hewitt
Draw your own Purposeful Marriage Table, identify your strong legs and the ones that need support. Then share this episode with your spouse or a couple you care about. Subscribe for biweekly truth-telling conversations that cut deep and call you higher.
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Is your marriage surrounded by friendships that strengthen it, or slowly drain it? In today’s episode, we unpack an experience that challenged us to redefine what community really means for our marriage. We’re fresh off a weekend trip to Charleston, SC, where we attended the Wives Meeting of the Chiropractic Knights of the Round Table, a powerful, invite-only brotherhood rooted in faith, values, and purpose. And this time, something extraordinary happened: Dr. Ryan was officially knighted.
What started as a curiosity about a mysterious “men’s group” turned into a weekend that left us both reflecting deeply on the importance of intentional friendships, not just individually, but as a couple. From meaningful conversations with women walking the same path, to the symbolism of knighthood and a literal engraved sword, we realized how rare and essential it is to be surrounded by people who elevate your standards, challenge your values, and inspire you to lead with love.
Together, we explore the surprising dynamics of building couple friendships, the unspoken expectations we carry into marriage, and why so many of us are starved for deep, value-driven community.
Takeaways:
True community is built on commitment, values, and intentionality, not convenience.
Your marriage reflects the influence of your closest relationships.
Friendships in adulthood often default to proximity over purpose, and that can cost us.
Couples need shared friendships that fuel growth, not just social plans.
Regular, value-aligned gatherings can re-anchor your marriage in seasons of busyness.
“This isn’t just a group that meets for sh*ts and giggles, it’s about legacy, alignment, and lifting each other higher.” - Kendra Hewitt
If this episode challenged or inspired you, hit “Follow” so you never miss a conversation that helps you fight for your marriage. Share it with a couple you admire, or journal together: Who are the five people influencing our marriage the most right now?
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website
What if the secret to transforming your marriage isn’t getting more, but giving more? What if the biggest shift you need isn’t in your spouse... but in you?
In this episode of Weaponized Marriage, Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt reflect on the moments shared during the memorial service for Charlie Kirk, especially through the lens of Erica Kirk’s breathtaking eulogy. Whether you knew Charlie or not, this episode unpacks timeless truths about the sacred covenant of marriage, the hard and holy act of forgiveness, and the daily choice to live in service of each other.
Kendra shares how one line from Erica, “How can I serve you better?”, stopped her in her tracks and became a call to action in her own marriage and family. Dr. Ryan brings insight on the masculine longing for peace, respect, and shared vision at home. Together, they discuss how forgiveness, when embraced fully, becomes a gateway to freedom, not just for your marriage, but your soul.
Whether you’re walking through a tough season, or just hungry for deeper connection, this episode calls you back to the heart of God’s design for marriage.
Key Takeaways:
True transformation in marriage begins with a shift from “me” to “we.”
Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event, it’s a continual act of surrender and healing.
Creating a peaceful, welcoming home can radically change your family’s dynamic.
Small intentional shifts (like how you wake your kids) can ripple into big emotional changes.
A shared mission or vision gives couples purpose beyond the daily grind.
“If you're too busy washing feet, you don't have time to throw stones.”
Take a moment today to ask your spouse one simple but powerful question: How can I serve you better? Then, share this episode with a friend or couple who needs that reminder too. And don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss a conversation that could change your marriage forever.
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/
Are you building a life together, or just surviving the day-to-day? In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, we wrestle with a question that hit us hard after witnessing Erica Kirk speak just days after the tragic loss of her husband, Turning Point USA’s chief operating officer. Her strength, faith, and clarity of purpose left us both shaken and inspired. It led us to ask: If something happened to your spouse tomorrow, would you know how to carry their mission forward?
We start off with a conversation about parenting struggles, the pressure to keep up with other families, and why a simple paint-by-number moment ended up revealing something much deeper about creating connection, not consuming stuff. But then the heart of this episode unfolds as we reflect on the unexpected gift of hearing a widow declare that her husband’s mission will not only continue, it will grow stronger.
This episode is a wake-up call: to start talking about what really matters. We dig into the importance of having a mission for your marriage, for your family, and for your own life, and what to do if you're not sure what that is yet.
Key Takeaways:
Your marriage needs a mission as much as your business does.
Start asking: What do I stand for? What do we stand for?
Consuming isn’t the goal, creating is.
Your kids don’t need more activities, they need more connection.
You can’t wait for tragedy to figure out what really matters.
“Does your message match your mission? Could your spouse stand on a stage and declare what you stood for?” - Kendra Hewitt
Challenge this week: Sit down with your spouse and ask: What do we want to create in 3, 5, and 10 years? Then, subscribe, share this episode, and start having the conversations that truly matter.
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website
Ever feel like you're doing everything, and no one even notices? This week on The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Kendra and Dr. Ryan peel back the layers on a topic that’s simmering beneath the surface in many homes: invisible labor. From managing kids’ schedules to carrying the emotional weight of the family, Kendra opens up about the quiet, constant responsibilities that so many women shoulder, and how it’s been silently impacting her relationship with Dr. Ryan.
This conversation dives into how unspoken expectations, mental overload, and mismatched communication styles can lead to bitterness, resentment, and disconnection, both in and out of the bedroom. Inspired by a podcast featuring Dr. Morgan Cutlip, Kendra introduces a powerful Venn diagram of “mental load,” breaking it down into personal, immediate family, and extended family responsibilities. The couple shares their personal journey navigating these challenges, from perfectionism and mom guilt to rejection and the pain of not feeling supported.
Dr. Ryan offers his perspective as a husband who often felt shut out and rejected, and how recognizing his role in the cycle helped them break free. They reflect on what it took to rebuild their intimacy, trust, and teamwork through honest communication and shared responsibility.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
What invisible labor really is, and why it’s more than just chores
How resentment builds when mental load isn’t shared
Why asking for help is so hard (especially for women)
How tone and timing can change the outcome of difficult conversations
The power of truth and ownership in rebuilding connection
“When you tell the truth, even if it’s messy, you set your marriage free to evolve.” - Kendra Hewitt
If this episode hit home, share it with your spouse or a friend, and don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss these real, raw conversations.
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website
Why is it that your spouse can say “You look amazing” every day, but when a stranger says it, it hits different? If you've ever felt unseen in your relationship, even when you're physically present, you’re not alone. In this raw, no-filter episode, Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt pull back the curtain on a real-life conversation about why appreciation and affection often miss the mark in long-term marriages.
Sparked by another couple’s story, this episode dives deep into the often-misunderstood world of love languages, unmet needs, and why we default to giving love the way we want to receive it. Kendra opens up about her own healing journey and the sexual trauma she had to face in order to rebuild intimacy. Dr. Ryan shares what feeling respected really looks like from a husband’s perspective, and why tone, timing, and teamwork matter more than you think.
Together, they unpack how years of unmet expectations nearly broke them, and what changed when they both took responsibility for their side of the story. If you're tired of surface-level marriage advice, this is the episode you’ve been waiting for.
Takeaways:
Love languages matter, but only if you’re speaking the right one.
Repetition can dull the impact of compliments from your spouse.
Men often need respect the way women crave appreciation, and both are misunderstood.
Healing from trauma isn’t linear, but it’s essential for deep connection.
Real intimacy grows when both partners own their emotional blind spots.
"You can stay with the person you love or you can run and repeat the pattern, but doing the work is what breaks the cycle." -Kendra Hewitt
If this episode hit home, subscribe, share with a friend, and take 5 minutes to journal what makes you feel most seen and appreciated. Then, ask your spouse the same.
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/
Are your kids witnessing a love worth repeating, or a legacy you never meant to leave behind? In today’s episode, Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt pull back the curtain on the quiet but powerful ways we model marriage and parenting to our kids. What began as a conversation with the father of the bride at a wedding unfolds into a passionate, vulnerable discussion about admiration, generational patterns, and the hard truth that every moment, good or bad, is teaching your kids something.
Dr. Ryan shares how his own childhood shaped what he didn’t want in marriage and how, even after intentionally making different choices, those early patterns kept showing up. Kendra opens up about the emotional weight of parenting, sharing a powerful story of losing patience with their daughter and the realization it sparked. From old wounds to fresh awareness, they challenge listeners to stop “playing house” and start consciously creating homes built on love, clarity, and respect.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why admiration in marriage isn’t optional, it’s foundational
How “staying together for the kids” might hurt more than help
The unconscious ways we pass down broken patterns
How to identify and shift from default mode to intentional leadership
Why “clear is kind” should be your new parenting mantra
“What I wouldn’t give to sit at a bar next to my dad and just have a coffee… that’s how powerful modeling is.” – Kendra Hewitt
CALL TO ACTION: If this episode stirred something in you, share it with your spouse or a fellow parent. Journal one way you want to model love more intentionally this week. And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Weaponized Marriage Podcast. Let’s break generational curses, together.
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/
What’s really behind the way you and your spouse respond in conflict? Why do some people shut down, while others press in harder? What if the way you love, and fight, has less to do with your partner and more to do with your past?
In this episode, Dr. Ryan and Kendra peel back the emotional layers of attachment theory, breaking down the four major styles, secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant, and how each one shows up in real-life marriages. With unfiltered honesty and a touch of humor, they unpack how their own attachment styles have created challenges, triggered reactions, and shaped the way they connect, fight, and repair.
Kendra shares how childhood loss and her dismissive-avoidant wiring created trust barriers in their relationship, while Dr. Ryan opens up about being a pursuer and how his need for connection can sometimes come off as attack. Together, they offer practical insights, honest mistakes, and real-time growth as they navigate conflict, parenting, and healing in their own marriage.
Key Takeaways:
The 4 attachment styles and how they form in childhood
How your attachment style plays out in adult conflict and connection
Why becoming a “resident expert” on your spouse’s trauma changes everything
The “sins of omission” vs. “sins of commission” in relationships
How to ask your spouse and kids: What makes you feel loved?
“Understanding your spouse’s trauma and attachment style is like learning their emotional operating system. You can’t love them well if you don’t understand what makes them tick.” - Kendra Hewitt
Call to Action:Take a moment after this episode to ask your spouse (or your kids): What makes you feel most loved? Then just listen. No fixes. No defenses. Just presence. If this episode stirred something in you, share it with a friend or leave us a review, it helps more couples get honest and grow.
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/
Ever feel stuck in the same emotional loop, initial excitement followed by frustrating fights? This episode tackles the question: Why do so many marriages never move past the honeymoon phase? Discover where your relationship really is, and how to level up.
Hosts Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt break down the five transformative stages of romantic relationships, adapted from a thought-provoking Instagram-inspired framework. They explore why most couples stall in the honeymoon or power‑struggle stages, and what it takes to move into acceptance and deeper commitment. With personal stories and real-life examples, they guide listeners through identifying their own stage and recognizing whether it's time to lead, grow, or walk away.
You’ll learn:
How the honeymoon phase creates blind spots
Why power struggles happen, and what they really represent
How acceptance can either lead to growth or complacency
What genuine commitment looks like, and why it matters
By the end, you'll have a clear path forward: either to strengthen what’s real, or to courageously redefine your next step.
Key Takeaways:
Honeymoon Phase: Intoxicating chemistry can blind you to red flags.
Power Struggle: Conflicts arise as deeper values and expectations surface.
Acceptance: Recognizing each other’s flaws is important, but only if paired with personal work.
Commitment Redefined: True commitment involves aligned standards, values, and joint effort.
Clear Boundaries: Setting non‑negotiables around health, parenting, finances, and mutual growth is essential.
“Most people never get past level one and two, so honeymoon and power struggle, and they just repeat the cycle over and over.”
Call to Action:If this episode challenges you to think deeper, share it with your partner or a friend. Then, journal or talk together about which of the five stages you feel stuck in, and what the next step toward growth would be. Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss a conversation that strengthens your marriage.
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website
Join hosts Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt on the Weaponized Marriage Podcast for a late-night conversation about the delicate balance between saving and supporting in relationships. In this episode, they dive into real-life stories, including their own, to explore how enabling can hinder growth and how true support empowers transformation. With candid reflections and practical wisdom, this episode offers couples tools to foster healthier dynamics and grow together.
Key Takeaways:
Saving vs. Supporting: Saving a spouse can enable stagnation, while supporting them encourages personal growth and accountability.
Letting Them Sit in the Pit: Allowing a partner to face their challenges without rescuing them can lead to meaningful change.
Taking Responsibility: Personal happiness and healing are individual responsibilities, not burdens for your spouse to carry.
Leading by Example: Healthy marriages thrive when partners inspire each other through actions, not control.
Growing Together: Couples should embrace growth at their own paces while supporting each other’s healing journeys.
"Your happiness and your healing is your responsibility." – Dr. Ryan Hewitt
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
In this honest and hilarious episode of The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt reflect on their recent anniversary weekend; complete with lake house dreams, Lemon Drop martinis, and a lesson in feminine storms and masculine steadiness. What starts as a conversation about celebrating milestones becomes a vulnerable deep dive into how expectations, communication, and even failed sexy moments reveal the real growth in a relationship. From Kendra’s emotional rawness to Dr. Ryan’s evolving role as the “oak tree,” the couple unpacks what it means to stay rooted through storms and stay connected when things don’t go to plan.
The episode isn't just about anniversaries or vacations; it’s about recognizing your progress even when things go sideways. Whether you're still recovering from a broken season or learning to communicate what you want more clearly, this conversation will remind you: celebrating milestones is not about perfection, it’s about perspective. When you can look back at the hard times and still laugh, reflect, and reconnect, you're doing something right. Tune in for laughter, humility, and a heartfelt reminder that the best celebrations sometimes come wrapped in chaos.
Key Takeaways:
Milestones are meant to be celebrated; don’t skip them.
Not every celebration goes as planned, and that’s okay.
Conflict recovery speed is a key sign of growth in marriage.
Feminine energy needs masculine stability to thrive.
Communication clarity is a learned, evolving skill; especially around expectations.
“To be in your feminine, you need an oak tree. And this time, you didn’t bend. You stayed steady.” – Kendra Hewitt
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website
In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt dive deep into a week that started with incredible connection and ended in emotional distance. They reflect on how easy it is for busy, entrepreneurial couples to lose intimacy; not for lack of love, but for lack of margin. From managing businesses and parenting a four-year-old, to forgetting the simple power of presence, they unpack why time doesn’t heal disconnection; intentional time does. With humor, raw vulnerability, and practical insight, they share how a date night turned into a collision, and how that moment of friction became a turning point for deeper clarity and reconnection.
Together, they challenge couples to audit their time and redefine what it means to be “present.” They highlight the importance of offloading stress, asking better questions, and being brave enough to say, “I want to feel prioritized.” Whether you're an overwhelmed parent, a high-achieving business owner, or just feeling the weight of everyday demands, this episode is a timely invitation to rethink your relationship with time; and each other.
What You’ll Hear in This Episode:
Why great sex doesn't fix disconnection without emotional safety
The real reason your spouse might feel unseen, even if you're "doing everything right"
How auditing your time reveals hidden patterns that steal intimacy
What to outsource to buy back connection; not just convenience
The critical shift from reactive to proactive marriage leadership
Listen now and take the first step toward creating more margin and more meaningful connection in your marriage.
“Sometimes the beauty is in the asking; that makes me feel prioritized.”
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, hosts Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt share seven simple yet powerful rituals to strengthen your marriage and make it divorce-proof. Drawing from their own journey as entrepreneurs and parents, they emphasize intentional habits like daily check-ins, heartfelt hugs, and playful flirting to foster connection and resilience.
The episode tackles the critical role of open money conversations, revealing how financial stress, not infidelity, is the leading cause of divorce. With candid insights into their own struggles and breakthroughs, Dr. Ryan and Kendra offer practical steps to protect your relationship from outside noise, repair conflicts quickly, and keep the spark alive. This episode is a must-listen for couples seeking to build a thriving, connected marriage through small, purposeful actions.
Key Takeaways
Daily Check-Ins: Connect regularly, even when things seem “fine,” to catch issues early and deepen intimacy.
30-Second Hugs: Physical touch, like a heartfelt hug or kiss, boosts oxytocin and lowers stress, strengthening bonds.
Shared Activities: Find a joint hobby, like shooting or spin classes, to create fun, shared memories.
Quick Repairs: Address conflicts promptly to avoid prolonged disconnection and rebuild trust faster.
Money Talks: Discuss finances weekly to align goals, reduce stress, and foster trust and transparency.
"If you can get really strong at talking about money together, it opens up more play, more sex, more attraction, more happiness, more freedom—everything." – Kendra Hewitt
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website
In this powerful and unscripted episode of the Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt open up about a life-changing week marked by bold decisions, divine downloads, and radical relational healing. From putting a cabin under contract on pure trust to celebrating new friendships, and diving deep into a transformative plant medicine journey, this episode captures what it looks like to live from your heart, not your head. The Hewitts share raw insight about emotional safety, the freedom of truth-telling, and the power of mutual ownership in marriage.
For the first time, Kendra describes what it felt like to hear Dr. Ryan share the story of his past affair publicly; without shame, fear, or pain. Together, they unpack what makes emotional safety possible, why your “mess becomes your message,” and how plant medicine played a surprising role in helping them process guilt and step into deeper connection. If you're ready for a marriage built on radical honesty, mutual respect, and heart-led growth, this one’s for you.
Key Takeaways:
Trust isn’t just spoken; it’s lived. Kendra signed for a cabin Ryan hadn’t even seen.Friendship loneliness in adulthood is real and deserves attention.
Emotional safety makes it possible to share the hardest truths without fear.
Your “mess” can actually become the pathway to deeper purpose.
Healing is a process that requires honesty, not perfection.
“What if every freaking mess in your life was actually part of the plan?”
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website
In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage, hosts Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt dive into the transformative power of setting balance targets; intentional goals for your marriage, family, and key relationships. Moving beyond vague resolutions, they share their proven framework of Facts, Feelings, Focus, Fruit to create meaningful, measurable targets that strengthen your partnership. From candid reflections on their own journey; like navigating flight upgrades for a couples’ trip to Spain or planning a cabin purchase; Kendra and Dr. Ryan reveal how to align on a shared vision while embracing discomfort for growth.
Whether it’s scheduling date nights, planning a dream vacation, or fostering deeper connections with your kids, this episode offers practical tools to turn your relationship goals into reality. Kendra shares her success in reducing morning stress with daughter Lily, while Dr. Ryan opens up about his goal to take her camping again. Packed with real-life examples and raw insights, this episode is a must-listen for couples ready to communicate boldly, dream big, and work together toward a thriving marriage.
Key Takeaways
Facts First: Start with concrete realities; what’s working and not working in your marriage or family life.
Feelings Matter: Separate emotions from facts to gain clarity and avoid wishy-washy traps.
Focus on Impact: Identify one high-leverage goal that moves the needle, like a couples’ retreat or more date nights.
Fruit as Vision: Define the result you want, like a dream vacation or a stronger bond with your kids.
Shared Vision: Align on goals that excite both partners, even if they require compromise or discomfort.
“You can’t grow in comfort. Set targets that stretch you as a couple and make you communicate about what really matters.” - Dr. Ryan Hewitt
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website
In this episode of Weaponized Marriage, hosts Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt dive into the concept of "what you resist will persist," exploring how resistance to personal challenges can impact a marriage. Kendra shares her journey of overcoming resistance to hormone replacement therapy (HRT), couples therapy, and her recent ADHD diagnosis, which she initially avoided addressing. She discusses how reading The ADHD Effect on Marriage by Melissa Orlov opened her eyes to patterns like the pursuit-withdrawal dynamic that strained their relationship. By embracing these challenges, Kendra found new ways to connect with Dr. Ryan, fostering empathy and understanding. The episode highlights how acknowledging differences, such as ADHD-related behaviors, can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth, offering practical insights for couples navigating similar struggles.
The conversation broadens as Kendra and Dr. Ryan discuss how ADHD affects their intimacy, communication, and daily interactions, from Kendra’s struggle with physical touch to Dr. Ryan’s feelings of rejection. They emphasize the importance of both partners taking ownership of their roles in relationship patterns, rather than pointing fingers. Through candid storytelling and actionable advice, this episode encourages listeners to identify areas of resistance in their own lives and marriages, offering a path toward deeper connection and mutual understanding. Whether you or your partner face neurodivergent challenges or not, this episode provides a relatable framework for improving your relationship.
Key Takeaways:
Resistance Persists: Avoiding personal challenges like ADHD or therapy can perpetuate relationship issues.
Pursuit-Withdrawal Pattern: Common in marriages, this dynamic (one partner pursues, the other withdraws) can be addressed with awareness and empathy.
Own Your Role: Both spouses must take responsibility for their contributions to conflicts to foster change.
ADHD and Intimacy: Neurodivergent traits can affect physical and emotional connection, requiring intentional effort to bridge gaps.
Embrace Differences: Accepting and understanding your partner’s unique traits builds stronger relationships.
“What you resist will persist. Draw back the curtain and face what’s showing up in your marriage for a reason.” — Kendra Hewitt
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website
In this episode of the Weaponized Marriage Podcast, hosts Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt shared an account of a recent conflict that left them feeling disconnected, revealing how they worked to hit the "repair button" in their relationship. From miscommunications about schedules to the weight of parenting and caregiving stressors, they unpack how their Enneagram personality types—Kendra as a Six and Dr. Ryan as a Three—fuel their reactions and challenge their recovery. With guidance from their therapist, Steven, they explore practical tools to rebuild connection, emphasizing the power of proactive communication and mutual support.
Kendra and Dr. Ryan dive into the invisible labor of caregiving, the pitfalls of unspoken expectations, and the importance of weekly check-ins to stay aligned. With humor and vulnerability, they offer strategies like physical touch to de-escalate tension and the courage to ask for help, reminding listeners that every marriage faces rough patches. This episode is a must-listen for couples seeking to grow together by mastering the art of repair.
Key Takeaways:
Personality Awareness: Kendra’s Six (critical mode) and Ryan’s Three (achiever mode) shape conflict; Enneagram insights improve communication.
Weekly Check-Ins: Dedicated personal and financial meetings prevent resentment and align priorities.
Physical Reset: A hug or hand on the heart can quickly calm tension and foster reconnection.
Initiate Support: Partners should proactively ask, “How can I help?” to ease invisible labor.
Repair Toolbox: Therapy and communication strategies are essential for faster conflict recovery.
“You either choose to connect and make that happen, or you choose to disconnect.” – Kendra Hewitt
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/
In this episode of Weaponized Marriage, hosts Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt dive into the often-avoided topic of money in their relationship, unpacking the emotional and practical challenges of managing finances as a couple. With raw honesty, they share their journey of navigating financial disconnects, from running a business together to struggling with collaborative money conversations. Drawing from a recent therapy session, the Hewitts reveal how past avoidance, guilt, and defensiveness have created barriers to a shared financial vision, and they commit to breaking this cycle with weekly meetings. Their candid discussion offers listeners a relatable lens into the complexities of marital intimacy, not just in finances but in fostering deeper connection through vulnerability and accountability.
The episode explores the universal struggle of tackling "crucial conversations" that couples often sidestep, whether about money, intimacy, or other sensitive topics. Dr. Ryan and Kendra emphasize the importance of approaching these discussions with love, ownership, and a willingness to change old patterns. By reflecting on their own experiences with therapy and personality dynamics, they provide practical insights for couples seeking to move past disconnection and build a stronger partnership. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to transform avoidance into meaningful dialogue, offering hope and actionable steps for creating a shared vision in marriage.
Key Takeaways:
Open, collaborative conversations about money are essential for marital connection and avoiding long-term disconnection.
Avoiding crucial conversations can lead to underlying issues that impact intimacy, communication, and trust.
Approaching sensitive topics with love and ownership, rather than blame, fosters productive dialogue.
Committing to regular meetings, even when uncomfortable, helps couples build a shared vision for their future.
Changing the approach to difficult conversations, such as choosing a neutral setting, can reduce defensiveness and improve outcomes.
"When you release energy about one [issue like money], the other one [like intimacy] gets better also." – Dr. Ryan Hewitt
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website
In this episode hosts Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt celebrate their 20th episode of the Weaponized Marriage Podcast by diving into one of the most important and under-discussed truths of marriage: the profound connection between sex and money.
After nearly a year of weekly therapy, a shift in their sessions unearthed something that might be the next frontier of vulnerability for many couples. Their therapist Steven revealed that most relational challenges stem from two core symbols in marriage, sex and money, and while they’d spent a year working on sexual intimacy, they were only now stepping into the equally intimate, and often unconscious, world of financial vulnerability.
Kendra opens up about the origin of her money blueprint, how the trauma of losing her dad young shaped her deep need for control over finances, and how that need unconsciously distanced her from Dr. Ryan. Dr. Ryan shares how not being included in financial decisions impacted his identity as a provider and leader. Together, they reflect on how avoiding financial transparency can become just as damaging to emotional and sexual connection as any bedroom issue.
Their conversation is equal parts humorous, honest, and hard-hitting as they explore:
🔑 Key Takeaways:
There are two powerful, symbolic forces in marriage: sex and money. Most conflicts, direct or indirect, stem from them.
Every person brings a unique money blueprint into marriage, often shaped by trauma, modeling, or scarcity mindsets.
Avoidance of financial conversations is often rooted in shame, fear, or control, and it silently erodes connection.
Financial responsibility doesn’t equal financial intimacy. Shared vision requires shared decisions.
Sex and money are deeply intertwined, especially when roles blur, unspoken expectations build, and resentment festers.
Masculine identity is often tied to provision and productivity, while feminine security is connected to shared vision and trust.
Creating micro-habits around financial connection (like shared spending journals or scheduled money dates) helps build trust and unity over time.
The couple’s sex life improved as they got emotionally honest, first with sex, now with money.
Surrender, safety, and leadership are key dynamics, for him to lead well, and for her to trust and receive.
What is one small conversation you’re avoiding in your marriage, either around sex or money? Write it down, name the fear behind it, and take one step toward scheduling that conversation.
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“If you’re relying solely on the 4% withdrawal rule, you’re taking a massive risk, especially with early retirement.”
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
In this heartfelt and energetic episode of the Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt reflect on their recent kid-free trip to Spain and why building fun into your marriage is essential at every stage. Sharing stories from their Mediterranean wedding adventure, cultural insights, and a few laugh-out-loud moments, the Hewitts dive deep into how travel, spontaneity, and breaking routine can breathe life back into a relationship.
From dancing until 4 a.m. at a multilingual wedding to rediscovering how rest doesn't always mean relaxation, Dr. Ryan and Kendra explore how stepping outside your daily patterns helps you see each other, and yourself, more clearly. Kendra shares raw reflections on how her younger self used to define success and how travel gave her fresh perspective. Dr. Ryan unpacks what happens when you take a break from your normal rhythm and discover what’s actually serving your marriage… and what’s not.
They also touch on:
How fitness and health enable meaningful shared experiences as you age
The difference between a trip and a vacation (and why both matter)
Why waiting for the “right time” might mean never making memories at all
How even small getaways can spark deeper conversations, creativity, and connection
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/