In this episode of Weaponized Marriage, hosts Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt dive into the concept of "what you resist will persist," exploring how resistance to personal challenges can impact a marriage. Kendra shares her journey of overcoming resistance to hormone replacement therapy (HRT), couples therapy, and her recent ADHD diagnosis, which she initially avoided addressing. She discusses how reading The ADHD Effect on Marriage by Melissa Orlov opened her eyes to patterns like the pursuit-withdrawal dynamic that strained their relationship. By embracing these challenges, Kendra found new ways to connect with Dr. Ryan, fostering empathy and understanding. The episode highlights how acknowledging differences, such as ADHD-related behaviors, can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth, offering practical insights for couples navigating similar struggles.
The conversation broadens as Kendra and Dr. Ryan discuss how ADHD affects their intimacy, communication, and daily interactions, from Kendra’s struggle with physical touch to Dr. Ryan’s feelings of rejection. They emphasize the importance of both partners taking ownership of their roles in relationship patterns, rather than pointing fingers. Through candid storytelling and actionable advice, this episode encourages listeners to identify areas of resistance in their own lives and marriages, offering a path toward deeper connection and mutual understanding. Whether you or your partner face neurodivergent challenges or not, this episode provides a relatable framework for improving your relationship.
Key Takeaways:
Resistance Persists: Avoiding personal challenges like ADHD or therapy can perpetuate relationship issues.
Pursuit-Withdrawal Pattern: Common in marriages, this dynamic (one partner pursues, the other withdraws) can be addressed with awareness and empathy.
Own Your Role: Both spouses must take responsibility for their contributions to conflicts to foster change.
ADHD and Intimacy: Neurodivergent traits can affect physical and emotional connection, requiring intentional effort to bridge gaps.
Embrace Differences: Accepting and understanding your partner’s unique traits builds stronger relationships.
“What you resist will persist. Draw back the curtain and face what’s showing up in your marriage for a reason.” — Kendra Hewitt
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website