Why You React That Way: The Power of Attachment Styles in Marriage

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Weaponized Marriage

Ryan and Kendra Hewitt

38 episodes

6 days ago

Our goal with this podcast isn’t to bring to you typical “date night advice”. This podcast is for power couples who are done playing small and ready to master the chaos of family, love, business and lifestyle. We’re talking raw, unfiltered strategies to dominate in communication, sex, money, and parenting while building your kingdom in this crazy busy world. This is about becoming a dynamic force together, a partnership that doesn’t just survive but transforms into a weaponized union capable of taking on anything life throws your way.

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Kids & Family

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All content for Weaponized Marriage is the property of Ryan and Kendra Hewitt and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

Parenting

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Why You React That Way: The Power of Attachment Styles in Marriage

Weaponized Marriage

41 minutes 5 seconds

3 months ago

Why You React That Way: The Power of Attachment Styles in Marriage

What’s really behind the way you and your spouse respond in conflict? Why do some people shut down, while others press in harder? What if the way you love, and fight, has less to do with your partner and more to do with your past?

In this episode, Dr. Ryan and Kendra peel back the emotional layers of attachment theory, breaking down the four major styles, secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant, and how each one shows up in real-life marriages. With unfiltered honesty and a touch of humor, they unpack how their own attachment styles have created challenges, triggered reactions, and shaped the way they connect, fight, and repair.

Kendra shares how childhood loss and her dismissive-avoidant wiring created trust barriers in their relationship, while Dr. Ryan opens up about being a pursuer and how his need for connection can sometimes come off as attack. Together, they offer practical insights, honest mistakes, and real-time growth as they navigate conflict, parenting, and healing in their own marriage.

Key Takeaways:

The 4 attachment styles and how they form in childhood

How your attachment style plays out in adult conflict and connection

Why becoming a “resident expert” on your spouse’s trauma changes everything

The “sins of omission” vs. “sins of commission” in relationships

How to ask your spouse and kids: What makes you feel loved?

“Understanding your spouse’s trauma and attachment style is like learning their emotional operating system. You can’t love them well if you don’t understand what makes them tick.” - Kendra Hewitt

Call to Action:Take a moment after this episode to ask your spouse (or your kids): What makes you feel most loved? Then just listen. No fixes. No defenses. Just presence. If this episode stirred something in you, share it with a friend or leave us a review, it helps more couples get honest and grow.

Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/

Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/