In this episode hosts Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt celebrate their 20th episode of the Weaponized Marriage Podcast by diving into one of the most important and under-discussed truths of marriage: the profound connection between sex and money.
After nearly a year of weekly therapy, a shift in their sessions unearthed something that might be the next frontier of vulnerability for many couples. Their therapist Steven revealed that most relational challenges stem from two core symbols in marriage, sex and money, and while they’d spent a year working on sexual intimacy, they were only now stepping into the equally intimate, and often unconscious, world of financial vulnerability.
Kendra opens up about the origin of her money blueprint, how the trauma of losing her dad young shaped her deep need for control over finances, and how that need unconsciously distanced her from Dr. Ryan. Dr. Ryan shares how not being included in financial decisions impacted his identity as a provider and leader. Together, they reflect on how avoiding financial transparency can become just as damaging to emotional and sexual connection as any bedroom issue.
Their conversation is equal parts humorous, honest, and hard-hitting as they explore:
🔑 Key Takeaways:
There are two powerful, symbolic forces in marriage: sex and money. Most conflicts, direct or indirect, stem from them.
Every person brings a unique money blueprint into marriage, often shaped by trauma, modeling, or scarcity mindsets.
Avoidance of financial conversations is often rooted in shame, fear, or control, and it silently erodes connection.
Financial responsibility doesn’t equal financial intimacy. Shared vision requires shared decisions.
Sex and money are deeply intertwined, especially when roles blur, unspoken expectations build, and resentment festers.
Masculine identity is often tied to provision and productivity, while feminine security is connected to shared vision and trust.
Creating micro-habits around financial connection (like shared spending journals or scheduled money dates) helps build trust and unity over time.
The couple’s sex life improved as they got emotionally honest, first with sex, now with money.
Surrender, safety, and leadership are key dynamics, for him to lead well, and for her to trust and receive.
What is one small conversation you’re avoiding in your marriage, either around sex or money? Write it down, name the fear behind it, and take one step toward scheduling that conversation.
👉 If this episode challenged you, moved you, or gave you language for what you’ve been feeling, share it with a friend, leave a review, and subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s deep dive.
“If you’re relying solely on the 4% withdrawal rule, you’re taking a massive risk, especially with early retirement.”
Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/
Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links: