You are feeling painful, difficult, and scary feelings.
I want you to close your eyes and see the emotion inside you and then take a deep breath and I want you to expand all the space around it.
Breathe in through nose and out through the mouth.
Imagine that space growing with every breath.
So the emotion stays the same but you expand.
Make room for the emotion(s).
Expand.
You are not your emotions. You have emotions.
You are vast.
Your spirit indestructible.
I know you don’t like these feelings, I don’t like these feelings too.
They feel so painful and they feel they are breaking you, but if your heart is capable of feeling them, then you are strong enough to bear them.
Soften into the feeling.
You can cry… sob… just keep softening with your breath…stay soft..
It’s ok… let your heart break. I promise, it won’t break down.
That’s the thing with hearts… the more the break… the bigger and stronger they get… the only way to a resilient heart is to let it feel and let it break.
One of the most complicated relationship we have is the relationship to ourselves and then we wonder why we struggle in our relationship to others…if we can’t even be with ourselves, how and why do we expect others to?
Why self-love- you make the world a better place and free the people in your lives when you love yourself.
What is *not self-love (hint… it is not selfish)
What is self-love…as I see it, it has 5 aspects self-awareness, self-discipline, self-care, self-compassion, self-acceptance.
What you can do to cultivate love- cultivate self-awareness, be honest with yourself … for that you will need to learn self-soothing, and be compassionate with yourself… meaning hold your self to the highest standards but support yourself as you make mistakes along the way…
Ps. Once… it’s a mistake … twice it’s a mistake… but 3 times it’s a pattern. If you keep making the same mistakes again and again… then you need to understand why and make efforts to change that.
So much talk about purpose and passion. What if I work and it isn’t my passion but it feeds my family?
How do I find my purpose?
Why are relationships so confusing these days?
How do I get rid of my anger?
How do I get out of my comfort zone?
Trauma is anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope.
It can negatively impact the brain and nervous system.
But you also have the power to heal the impact of trauma.
Body
Emotions
Thoughts
All need to be part of the treatment and healing of trauma in the mind/body.
This episode is for parents and children but really for all people who want to know what it takes to have healthy relationships in today's world.
The skills needed for healthy adult relationships are cultivated in childhood… but even as adults you can start cultivating some of these skills if you struggle with relationships.
Relationships are not easy, and they are not always painful or difficult either.
In this episode I talk about how something’s that we hear and see can really mess up our ideas about what a ‘perfect relationship’ is and what can we expect from a long-term relationship.
Integrating our anger/aggressive instinct does not mean you act aggressively- on the contrary, people who have worked on and are working on integrating their anger are often the most assertive, kind, confident, honest, and courageous people you will meet.
Healing journey / therapy journey/ inner work/ psychospiritual development / self-awareness …
Call it what you want… here I share a few thoughts from having walked the path with people as well as walking my own path over the last 18 years…
Things to keep in mind … what you may encounter on the path… what you may need to make the journey/experience safer …
One of the most complicated relationship we have is the relationship to ourselves and then we wonder why we struggle in our relationship to others…if we can’t even be with ourselves, how and why do we expect others to?
Why self-love- you make the world a better place and free the people in your lives when you love yourself.
What is *not self-love (hint… it is not selfish)
What is self-love…as I see it, it has 5 aspects self-awareness, self-discipline, self-care, self-compassion, self-acceptance
What you can do to cultivate love- cultivate self-awareness, be honest with yourself … for that you will need to learn self-soothing, and be compassionate with yourself… meaning hold your self to the highest standards but support yourself as you make mistakes along the way…
Ps. Once… it’s a mistake … twice it’s a mistake… but 3 times it’s a pattern. If you keep making the same mistakes again and again… then you need to understand why and make efforts to change that.
What does it mean to have generosity of spirit and having greatness of spirit?
What can you give/be generous with?
What is *not generosity?
If you expect anything in return- you have lost the benefits of that
-do it for your karmic account /God/Higher self account
How can you BEcome more generous?
I also answered some questions about “boundaries” and “toxic generosity” (not sure what that is but I answered it accordingly)
If ‘forgiveness’ is hard for you, try saying the word ‘compassion’ or try saying ‘I want to heal’
What is it and what is not
Why should we do it
What the journey is like
What is pseudo-forgiveness
It has been a long journey for me to come to the place where I see the value of this ongoing act for my own self…
Forgiveness is an act of self love
It is a practice of a generous heart
It is freeing
It is in service of an open and tender heart that loves and lives deeply
What you practice gets stronger
What you feed will grow
What feelings and thoughts are you practicing and growing?
I share the framework of Francis Wellers gates of grief - all the grief in us that we have not acknowledged or processed - it’s in all of us
We will all lose someone and something we love. This scares us and we run from acknowledging this. If we soften into it- we might know the depths of love.
We all have parts that have never known love. If we grieve the times and experiences where we lost these parts, and show them love and bring these parts to the light of love, we might know integrity and wholeheartedness.
We all are grieving the sorrows of the world. What humans are doing to each other, the planet, to animals, to the oceans… if we feel this grief, we might know what it means to be connected.
We all are grieving the loss of what we expected but did not recieve. This longing for a ‘home’, this need for belonging- it’s our inheritance and coded into our cellular and spiritual memory. If we tend to this grief we might know the duty we have to each other.
We all have an ancestral grief. We are not just a sum of our childhoods, but all the ancestors that came before us. If we acknowledge this grief, we might know that we have the power to heal the world.
I wanted to share a story with you guys today as to how intuition sometimes shows up in our lives.
It can show up as a song, it can show up as the sun shining down in a specific moment, and even in the dreams of those close to us (also called Dream Tending).
How has intuition shown up for you?
Many of you have seen my stories about breathing for eleven minutes and have asked me to share more details, so I want to share with you the full practice that I have built up to.
The practice is done with intention and devotion, a place for me to connect with myself and my spirit, a place where I ask and open myself up to recieve.
I know that it’s a bit hard to commit these minutes to ourselves, but really keep at it…I promise you it’s worth the struggle.
Loneliness and it’s impact on our overall health
Loneliness is different from being alone, and it’s different from solitude.
Loneliness is not just painful but it is also lethal.
Connecting to ourselves - our bodies, our spirit, our values
Connecting to our tribe
Connecting to nature
Connecting to our community
These types of connections are antidepressants and anti-anxiety
Consider your time- how do you spend it? Are you deliberate and intentional about who you see and what you do?
And when you are there are you too busy distracted on social media or emails ?
We do a lot, but we aren’t experiencing a lot… and that experience = connection… and they connection is what we are all longing for …
On this live I speak about many things including an insight from my journey abo it the difference between perfect and complete… how since childhood we receive brainwashing from every institution from childhood that what it means to be ‘complete’- and only “perfect” is complete… how 100 out of 100 is complete.
To tease apart those two ideas… perfect and complete - is the task of a lifetime.
I am complete and I am progressing.
I am healed and I am healing.
I know and I am learning.
Life is now and we need a plan.
That delicate balance of these two ways of life… being and doing.
And life… it doesn’t start when things are all settled. It will never be ‘settled’… life is unsettling also. Life is imperfect also. Life has bad days also. That is life. I have arrived… and I don’t have to change anything about my life… this is what deep acceptance and surrender must feel like (??!) - it’s a very new feeling for me.
I also speak about intuition/listening to your inner guide/ wise adult/ authentic self/ trusting your decisions etc (which is all the same thing btw)
Let me know your thoughts… and questions ❤️
PS I mentioned Acceptance and Commitment Therapy- there is a level 1 workshop coming up by Dr Daniela Salazar in March see @lighthousearabia
I also mentioned JV - he is a therapist @lighthousearabia - he has workshops he does on Alchemy of Art and also on intuition.
Shadow work … answering your questions
What is the shadow?
Why do we project it?
Why to do the work?
Can young people do shadow work?
How to spot your shadow?
How to integrate traits like greed and aggression?
Complexes and Shadow work
"Shadow work requires heroic willingness to take responsibility of oneself to grow up, and therefore be less demanding and expectant of others"
Where are you demanding and expectant of others?
"Shadow work asks us to stop blaming others.
it asks us to take responsibility.
it asks us to move slowly.
It asks us to deepen our awareness.
It asks us to hold paradox.
It asks us to open our hearts.
It asks us to sacrifice our ideals of perfection.
It asks us to live the mystery.
We suggest that you relate to the shadow as a mystery rather than a problem to be solved or an illness to be cured"
Follow the trigger. The big reactions. The times you fight, flight, freeze or fawn.
Follow the people and the things that annoy you.
They will take you to the energy pockets called complexes.
As you learn about the complex, you will integrate more and more of the trapped energy in that complex into your consciousness...
giving you more energy, more personal power. more freedom.
What does it mean to have generosity of spirit and having greatness of spirit?
What can you give/ be generous with?
What is *not generosity?
If you expect anything in return- you have lost the benefits of that
-do it for your karmic account / God/ Higher self account
How can you BEcome more generous?
I also answered some questions about “boundaries” and “toxic generosity” (not sure what that is but I answered it accordingly)
Oh and thank you for being so generous with your attention and love and support for me and I fumbled at the beginning of this live 😵💫
