If your relationship feels stuck or your love life is on autopilot, this episode is your reset button.
Christina walks you through 10 small but powerful relationship microshifts that can bring big results—fast.
Whether you're dating, committed, or married, these simple yet science-backed strategies will help you:
🩵 Feel more connected
🩵 Communicate more clearly
🩵 Build trust
🩵 And bring emotional safety back to the forefront.
Perfect for anyone wondering "How can I fix my relationship without therapy?" or "Why do I keep repeating toxic relationship patterns?"
Let's connect:
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Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/
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Timestamps:
00:00 – Why your relationship can't thrive if you're depleted
00:42 – Press the reset button: Why microshifts matter
01:16 – Microshift 1: Shift focus intentionally with positive interactions
02:00 – Microshift 2: Express one sincere appreciation daily
03:12 – Microshift 3: Use the 24-hour rule before addressing conflict
04:16 – Microshift 4: Practice active listening & “I feel” statements
07:12 – Microshift 5: Schedule weekly emotional check-ins
08:15 – Microshift 6: Reignite connection with hugs and kisses
09:31 – Microshift 7: Speak your partner’s love language… daily
10:59 – Microshift 8: Own your part in conflict1
2:35 – Microshift 9: Show you’ve got your partner’s back
14:09 – Microshift 10: Do something for you today
15:36 – Start now: Pick one shift and change your love life today
Is your dating life stuck in a cycle of extreme highs and sudden ghosting? You might be trapped in all or nothing thinking. In this episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina unpacks the dangers of black-and-white thinking in modern dating and how it sabotages real connection.
If you're constantly looking for red flags, obsessed with instant chemistry, or walking away too quickly when things aren’t perfect—this episode is for you. Christina shares relatable stories, helpful mindset shifts, and her viral 3-3-3 dating rule to help you move from fear-based dating to curiosity-driven connection.
Tune in now!
Let's connect:
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Timestamps:
00:00 – Welcome + Podcast intro
00:16 – Meet Christina Hathaway
00:25 – All or nothing thinking in dating
00:54 – How this mindset shows up in other areas of life
01:23 – Black-and-white thinking sabotages connection
01:47 – Christina’s personal example from high school
02:21 – What is all-or-nothing thinking?
02:49 – Extreme reactions and ghosting after good dates
03:22 – The fear behind rigid standards
03:37 – Examples of extreme thinking in dating
04:11 – Craving fast chemistry and intensity
04:43 – Labeling people too quickly
05:32 – Generalizing bad experiences
05:50 – Putting all your eggs in one basket
06:34 – Hurt becomes your whole reference point
07:03 – The illusion of control
07:20 – Vulnerability vs. protection
07:59 – Choosing curiosity over conclusions
08:27 – Questions to reflect on during early dating
08:44 – The 3-3-3 Rule for dating
09:08 – The power of slow burns
09:44 – Stop looking for reasons to leave
10:31 – Expecting uncertainty in relationships
10:43 – Christina’s personal love story
10:58 – Discomfort vs. protecting your peace
11:12 – The full 3x3x3 dating rule explained
12:07 – Avoiding infatuation cycles
12:21 – Wait for clarity before bailing
12:47 – Giving relationships space to grow
13:07 – Reflection: When have you bailed from discomfort?
13:44 – Identifying your extreme dating patterns
14:14 – Encouragement to stay in the gray
14:26 – Share, review, and support the show
14:56 – Final reminders
Being vulnerable in a healthy relationship can feel unsafe—especially if you've been burned before. But vulnerability is the key to building real emotional intimacy and connection. In this episode, Christina Hathaway, licensed marriage and family therapist, breaks down what healthy vulnerability actually looks like, why it’s not oversharing or trauma dumping, and how to express your truth without losing your identity.
If you’ve ever struggled to say what you really feel, if you tend to merge into your partner or over-function emotionally, or if you're navigating relationships with old wounds, this episode is for you!
Let's connect:
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Timestamps:
00:00 – Vulnerability in healthy relationships can feel unsafe at first
00:38 – Inspired by Matthew Hussey’s take on intimacy
01:31 – Defining vulnerability: It’s not oversharing or codependency
02:44 – The power of sharing truth without performance
03:44 – Real-life example: Writing a note to her husband
04:16 – Navigating boundary-setting early in dating
05:03 – Language to honor boundaries while staying open
06:11 – Don't confuse merging with intimacy
07:49 – Staying present through discomfort and hormonal shifts
09:26 – Healthy intimacy isn’t about safety all the time—it’s about discernment
10:25 – Never weaponize someone's vulnerability
11:55 – Allowing mutual emotional exposure in relationships
13:00 – You don’t rush trust—you build it
14:21 – Key questions to ask yourself when gauging emotional safety
15:35 – What to do when you fear someone will leave after opening up
16:11 – Final thoughts + call to share this episode
Are you constantly questioning your relationship, but can't quite explain why?
In this episode, Christina breaks down 10 subtle yet powerful signs it's time to leave a relationship—even if there hasn’t been a dramatic breakup, betrayal, or obvious red flag. If you're stuck in confusion, this episode will give you the clarity—and permission—you need!
Let's connect:
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Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction
02:20 – Why we tolerate “comfortable” relationships
03:44 – 🚩 Sign #1: You’re constantly negotiating your needs down
04:58 – 🚩 Sign #2: Your body feels more anxious than excited
06:23 – 🚩 Sign #3: You’re walking on eggshells
08:07 – 🚩 Sign #4: You’re clinging to potential, not reality
09:41 – 🚩 Sign #5: Your boundaries are blurry
11:12 – 🚩 Sign #6: You’re doing more emotional labor
12:41 – 🚩 Sign #7: You need others to validate your feelings
13:24 – 🚩 Sign #8: You no longer feel like yourself around them
15:31 – 🚩 Sign #9: They love the idea of you, not the real you
16:56 – 🚩 Sign #10: The idea of leaving brings relief, not fear
18:44 – How to reconnect to yourself after walking away
19:28 – Final thoughts + journaling prompts for clarity
Are you dating someone’s potential... or just their cowboy boots? In this spicy Love Island deep dive, Christina breaks down what Olandria’s journey teaches us about fantasy, red flags, and why holding on too long can cost us our peace.
In this week's episode, Christina dissects the latest drama on Love Island USA—specifically the emotional rollercoaster between Olandria, Taylor, and Clark, and connects it to real-life dating patterns.
If you’ve ever found yourself fixated on a type (hello, cowboy or baller!) and ignored the red flags just because the fantasy looked good on paper, this episode is your wake-up call. Christina helps listeners unpack the dangerous loop of romantic idealization and shows how to break free from dating déjà vu.
Let's connect:
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Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction
00:45 – Olandria & Taylor
03:30 – Fantasy vs. Reality in dating athletes, cowboys, and “types”
06:00 – What Taylor actually represents—and the red flags
08:45 – Post-Casa Amor: How Taylor showed his true colors
10:14 – Nick vs. Taylor: Real connection vs. performative affection
13:20 – Disrespect on display: The “cowboy” falls off the horse
15:01 – When we protect the fantasy more than our peace
17:25 – Better questions to ask when stuck in romantic loops
19:11 – Cowboy vibes vs. Cowboy values: Know the difference
22:00 – A story about choosing the right kind of partner
23:16 – The real fairytale? Truth, safety, and consistency
23:53 – Final challenge: Are you chasing the wrong cowboy?
In this episode, Christina unpacks the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways we change ourselves to be loved, wanted, or accepted. Are you healing and growing because you want to or are you unconsciously shifting to become more palatable for your partner?
She dives into the difference between self-evolution and self-abandonment, explains the psychology behind shape-shifting in dating, and offers powerful self-check questions to help you reclaim your self-worth, authenticity, and voice in relationships. If you're tired of auditioning for love, this one’s for you.
Let's connect:
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Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast
Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
00:20 Meet Christina and the podcast
00:31 Are you changing for you or for them
00:53 Inspired by real client conversations
01:11 People shrink themselves in relationships
01:42 Self-growth vs self-abandonment
02:15 Story of someone changing to please a partner
03:05 Change rooted in validation doesn’t last
03:50 The pressure to shape-shift in dating
04:33 People silence themselves without being asked
05:11 Acting feels heavy because it’s not real
05:27 Growth feels expansive, protection feels tight
06:04 Real change aligns with your values
06:33 Would you stay this version if they left
07:30 Childhood teaches us to adapt to be safe
08:39 Dating becomes a performance for approval
09:42 Validation-seeking leads to unhealthy change
10:01 Real love doesn’t ask you to shrink
10:45 Growth means setting boundaries and staying close to self
11:34 Christina shares how healing changed her relationships
12:23 Don’t shame your past self for surviving
12:56 Heal your own holes to become whole
13:29 Do you love yourself when you’re not performing
13:44 Closing thoughts and clarity call invite
Love Island fans, let's talk!
In this episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina dives deep into the messy (and frankly, uncomfortable) dynamic between Huda and Jeremiah from Love Island USA.
Christina dissects what love addiction looks like in real-time, the psychological games at play, and how emotional manipulation, insecurity, and trauma bonding can destroy even the most passionate connections.Whether or not you watch the show, this episode is a must-listen for anyone who’s dated someone too fast, too soon, or felt stuck in a fantasy that turned toxic!
Listen now!
Let's connect:
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Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast
Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
01:11 Huda & Jeremiah: Too fast, too intense
02:22 When the fantasy starts to crack
04:00 Love addiction vs. real love
05:32 Manipulating exclusivity
06:43 Blocking connections out of fear
08:30 Weaponizing motherhood
09:57 Pancake fight = power play
11:05 The “double bind” trap
13:15 Signs of BPD & trauma
18:54 America votes—and everything changes
20:21 Final thoughts & listener reminder
Is your relationship starting to feel more like cohabitating than connecting? In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, therapist and relationship expert Christina Hathaway dives deep into the quiet crisis so many couples face: the shift from romantic partners to roommates. She breaks down why this happens, how to spot the signs of hidden loneliness in your relationship, and most importantly—what to do about it.
Whether you're dating, married, or somewhere in between, this episode will challenge you to reflect, reconnect, and revive intimacy without relying on forced date nights or grand gestures.
Listen now!
Let's connect:
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Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro
00:49 – Are you feeling more like roommates than lovers?
01:22 – The signs of "roommate energy" in relationships
02:33 – How disconnection slowly creeps in
03:49 – Mundane routines vs. meaningful connection
04:49 – Loneliness inside a “functional” relationship
06:27 – Christina’s honest personal reflections
07:09 – “You can still be in love and feel alone”
08:05 – No repair, no curiosity, no foreplay = disconnection
08:57 – Over-functioning and bargaining: what we do when intimacy fades
09:40 – Why polarity and tension matter in romantic connection
10:39 – Reigniting without forcing it: “Name it, don’t blame it”
11:19 – Micro-moments and rituals over grand gestures
12:42 – Reclaiming your own energy and vitality
14:08 – Ask better questions to get deeper with your partner
14:56 – If you're the only one trying: disrupting the cycle
15:41 – Coaching, counseling, and choosing intimacy
16:41 – The truth about roommate energy—it’s not the end, but it’s a sign
17:13 – You deserve to be chosen, not just tolerated
17:24 – How to work with Christina + final message
In this episode, Christina gets brutally honest about what it actually takes to move on after a breakup without ghosting your feelings or glamorizing your ex. From the grief of “the future that never happened” to the shame spiral of the inner critic, Christina breaks down the real psychology behind heartbreak and why feeling your emotions is the most radical thing you can do.
Whether you’re fresh off a split or still low-key stalking their Instagram, this episode gives you a step-by-step playbook to stop repeating patterns, reclaim your power, and reconnect to you.
Hit play now!
Let's connect:
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Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro
01:17 – Why this episode matters: The real breakup guide
03:20 – Christina’s own breakup story: raw, messy, and transformational
04:46 – The biology of breakups: dopamine, oxytocin, and chemical chaos
06:02 – Coping or numbing? The traps of distraction
07:08 – Your world is crumbling—and that’s part of the process
07:42 – Inner critics, Judge Judy, and shame spirals
09:41 – You don’t need validation to heal—reclaim your worth
11:09 – What people think after a breakup (and why it’s BS)
12:13 – Letting go of the fantasy future: reassign your loyalty to you
13:33 – The reframe: It wasn’t “the one,” it was a clarifier
14:37 – Breakup rules that actually work
15:54 – The 90-second emotional wave: feel it to free it
17:29 – No-contact, detox, and declutter: clean break strategies
19:22 – Rituals, routines, and reclaiming your space
21:04 – Your healing support crew: who to call and why
Is your love language still stuck in the 90s?
In this episode, Christina breaks down the five original love languages and gives them the 2025 upgrade they desperately needed.
We’re talking less about flowers and sweet texts, and more about safety, consent, intentionality, and presence. Christina shares personal stories and real-life examples to help you recognize how these love languages show up in today’s modern relationships and how they might be misfiring without you even realizing it.
Tune in now!
Let's connect:
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Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction
01:04 – Why love languages need an upgrade for 2025
02:17 – Love Language #1: From "Words of Affirmation" → to "Words + Intentional Tone"
04:00 – Love Language #2: From "Acts of Service" → to "Capacity Check-Ins"
06:33 – Love Language #3: From "Quality Time" → to "Undistracted Presence"
08:25 – Love Language #4: From "Physical Touch" → to "Safe, Regulated, Consensual Touch"
10:59 – Love Language #5: From "Gifts" → to "Intentionality Over Expense"
12:52 – Final Thoughts: Love languages shift—so should expectations
13:33 – Outro
Could the role you played in your family growing up be sabotaging your relationships today?
In today’s episode, Christina unpacks the hidden dynamics of family roles—those subconscious identities many of us assume in childhood to navigate dysfunction. These roles might’ve once helped us survive, but they often sabotage our adult relationships and self-worth.
Whether you’re navigating healing, parenting with more intention, or just trying to understand yourself better, this episode is for you.
If this resonates, don’t forget to follow and share! Every listen helps spread awareness and healing. Let’s break cycles together!
Let's connect:
Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0
Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast
Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro
01:38 – The root of dysfunctional family roles: survival and coping
02:48 – The Hero: perfectionism and performance as protection
04:13 – The Scapegoat: acting out the family’s hidden pain
05:38 – The Lost Child: invisibility as a shield
06:57 – The Mascot: using humor to diffuse tension
08:17 – The Enabler: keeping the peace at a personal cost
09:57 – How these roles can follow us into adulthood
12:18 – Awareness as the catalyst for change
13:33 – Breaking the cycle: naming, grieving, and healing
15:10 – A message of hope: you’re not broken—you adapted
16:05 – Outro
Not all therapy is created equal, especially when it comes to love, dating, and relationships. In this episode, Christina explores the most important red flags to watch for in dating and relationship therapists so you can protect your emotional well-being and get the support you deserve.Whether you're navigating a breakup, building better relationship patterns, or healing from past trauma, your therapist should be a safe, skilled, and supportive guide. Christina breaks down common signs that your therapist may be crossing boundaries, offering biased advice, or making your relationship issues worse—not better.If you've ever felt unheard, judged, or confused in sessions, this episode is a must-listen. You’ll walk away with clear insight on what to look for, how to advocate for yourself, and when it might be time to find a new therapist.
Let's connect:
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Timestamps:00:00 Why therapist red flags matter in dating and relationship work02:41 Oversharing shifts focus away from you04:57 Judgment makes it hard to open up06:46 Being late or forgetful shows disrespect08:35 No challenge or too much critique isn’t helpful10:11 Friend-like behavior crosses boundaries12:24 Ignoring culture or identity is harmful14:48 Over-labeling overlooks your real story17:04 Trust your gut when something feels off18:36 Speak up or find a better fit20:26 You deserve a therapist who truly supports you
Is your new relationship post-breakup helping you heal—or hiding your hurt?
In this episode, Christina dives deep into one of the most common (and confusing) post-breakup questions: is this new partner a rebound or a reset?
Whether you're dating for healing, distraction, or connection, your post-breakup decisions shape your future relationships. Christina helps you reflect on your emotional readiness, shares why your nervous system might be pushing you to pair up too soon, and offers signs that you're ready to date again—with intention.
Let's connect:
Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
01:31 Why what you do after the breakup matters most
02:06 Defining a rebound: Dating for avoidance, not alignment
02:49 Grieving vs. numbing with novelty
03:54 How unprocessed pain shows up in your next relationship
04:34 Why we rush to replace: Attachment, wiring, and self-worth
05:33 Distraction vs. decision: Why rebounds repeat your past
06:30 Example from The Valley: Brittany’s post-divorce dating
07:36 What a true reset looks like
08:10 Emotional processing: Letting yourself feel and move through grief
09:21 Dating for desire, not desperation
10:10 Christina’s healing journey post-breakup
11:07 When a rebound can become a reset
11:42 Self-reflection questions to determine if it’s rebound or reset
12:35 Healing must come before clarity and connection
13:06 Outro
Can you be career-driven and still embody femininity in relationships?
In this episode, Christina dives deep into the double bind faced by high-achieving women in the dating world. She unpacks how ambition, control, and performance can sabotage romantic connections, and how embracing softness doesn’t mean sacrificing power.
This episode is a must-listen for all the ambitious, goal-oriented women who feel stuck in a cycle of overfunctioning, micromanaging, or attracting emotionally unavailable partners. You’ll walk away with mindset shifts, actionable insights, and a reminder: you don’t have to trade ambition for intimacy.
Listen now!
Let's connect:
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Timestamps:
00:00 Why ambitious women shrink or overfunction in dating.
01:21 The struggle between being driven and staying feminine.
02:42 The two extremes: leading with success or playing small.
04:28 Balancing confidence without being seen as intimidating.
05:21 Understanding masculine vs. feminine energy in love.
06:49 A client story about micromanaging dates and its impact.
08:18 Why dating should be about presence, not performance.
09:43 How childhood conditioning fuels the need to prove.
12:53 Why nervous system regulation is key to receiving love.
14:04 The power of pausing before jumping into control mode.
15:37 How to express your needs without overexplaining.
17:33 Dating isn’t a performance review—it’s real life.
Are they gaslighting you or are you just misusing the term?
In this episode, Christina breaks down two of the most misunderstood (and overused) buzzwords in modern dating: gaslighting and narcissism. With compassion and clarity, she explains how labeling every ex or situationship with these terms can be damaging. Not just to them, but to your own healing.
Let's connect:
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Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro
01:42 – Why we misuse dramatic terms to feel heard
03:03 – Understanding emotional manipulation vs. conflict
03:36 – What gaslighting really is (and isn’t)
05:35 – The power imbalance and how low self-trust attracts manipulation
06:54 – Gaslighting as a defense mechanism rooted in trauma
08:12 – Clear example: Flirty behavior vs. real gaslighting
09:53 – Core difference: invalidation vs. disagreement
10:30 – Defining narcissism and the “better than” ego state
11:44 – Narcissistic traits vs. clinically diagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder
13:27 – Mislabeling every “toxic” partner waters down real red flags
14:39 – The difference between emotional immaturity and narcissism
16:00 – Grandiose vs. vulnerable (covert) narcissism explained
17:59 – Why narcissists use martyrdom or emotional withdrawal to regain control
18:33 – Questions to ask if you think you dated a narcissist
19:51 – Owning your role in unhealthy dynamics
20:45 – Gaslighting recovery: Rebuilding self-trust and clarity
21:43 – How to speak your truth even after emotional invalidation
22:32 – You don’t need a label to leave an unhealthy relationship
23:14 – Outro
In this episode, Christina dives deep into the complex world of hookup culture, exposing the emotional toll behind the promise of "no strings attached" encounters.
Episode highlights:🩵 Why casual sex might be leaving you feeling emptier than empowered🩵 How early exposure to sex can distort your relationship expectations🩵 The critical difference between being desired and being truly seen
Let's connect:
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Timestamps:
00:00 - Intro03:04 - How Hookup Culture Sells a False Narrative05:19 - How Early Experiences Shape Sexual Perspectives07:15 - The Misconception of Physical Closeness09:18 - Why We Confuse Desire with Value12:00 - What Real Connection Actually Looks Like14:27 - Reflection Questions for Listeners
What really keeps a relationship strong? Spoiler: It’s not vacations, proposals, or grand romantic gestures. In this episode, Christina reveals the one thing that research shows sustains love in the long run: bids for connection.
Listen now to learn what it means and how to recognize and respond to these small but powerful interactions that build lasting intimacy—and how ignoring them might be quietly eroding your connection.
Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0
Let's connect:
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/
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Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro
01:37 – The real thing that sustains relationships: micro-moments
02:41 – What are “bids for connection”? Explained with everyday examples
04:28 – Client story: mistaking grand gestures for intimacy
05:20 – Why grand gestures don’t guarantee real love
06:44 – Real-life micro-moment examples from Christina’s marriage
07:44 – Tiny repairs after conflict build trust
08:55 – How helpfulness can become a powerful bid for connection
09:17 – The erosion of love vs. the explosion: which one really ends relationships
10:59 – Why we miss bids: phones, work, overwhelm, and emotional baggage
11:39 – How to start recognizing and responding to bids
13:01 – Reflection and journal prompt walkthrough
14:08 – Final takeaway: The magic is in the moments
14:25 – Outro and ways to connect online
Let's dive deep into the subtle yet powerful ways conditional love shows up in modern dating and how it may be sabotaging your relationships without you even knowing it. From “perfect girl” syndrome to confusing anxiety with chemistry, she breaks down how many of us learned early on that love must be earned, and how that belief plays out on Bumble, in our DMs, and even in long-term partnerships.
Christina also shares vulnerable moments from her own life and client stories, illuminating the path to unconditional love: love that sees, holds, and accepts the real you—not the performance.
This is your wake-up call to stop auditioning for love and start showing up as your whole, unfiltered self. Because if love feels like a prize you have to earn, it might be time to rewrite your script.
Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast
00:00 – Intro
00:42 – Conditional vs. unconditional love
01:25 – The invisible scorecard in dating
02:21 – Swipe culture & performing for love
03:31 – Self-help burnout & chasing "better"
04:00 – Client afraid to express needs
05:26 – “Perfect girl” syndrome
05:42 – How childhood shaped your view of love
08:20 – Anxiety vs. chemistry
08:40 – What real unconditional love looks like
09:26 – Personal stories of emotional safety
11:08 – Love for who you are, not what you do
12:09 – No fear of rejection = safe love
13:18 – Masks vs. boundaries in relationships
14:59 – Passion or panic?
15:20 – Love is a birthright, not a prize
16:05 – Spiritual source of unconditional love
16:39 – Look for values, not performances
18:04 – Conflict repair over perfection
19:07 – Boundaries, needs, and being human
20:13 – Journal prompts for reflection
21:40 – Are you being chosen for you?
22:23 – Subscribe, review, book a Clarity Call
22:54 – Outro
Have you ever been in a relationship that looked great on the outside—but felt empty on the inside?
In this episode, Christina dives into the quiet emotional detachment that happens long before a breakup. She explores why people start withholding sex, affection, or even updates about their lives—not as a form of punishment, but as a protective response when emotional needs are repeatedly unmet.
Using Bravo stars Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover as a timely pop culture case study, Christina breaks down how emotional withdrawal shows up in real life, why people stay in these situations longer than they should, and how your body often leaves a relationship before your voice ever does.
If you’ve been walking on emotional eggshells, this episode is a must-listen.
Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0
Let's connect:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast
Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction to “The Silent Drift”
00:28 – Bravo reference: Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover
00:55 – The drift begins with silence, not fights
01:31 – Withholding starts when safety is lost
02:27 – Withholding ≠ punishment; it’s a defense mechanism
03:05 – Core emotional needs and how they show up in relationships
03:56 – When needs stop being met and fantasy replaces connection
04:19 – Paige’s emotional withdrawal from Craig
05:16 – Christina’s personal story: success, guilt, and staying too long
06:02 – Your body leaves the relationship before your words do
06:39 – Manifesting the dream, but living in anxiety
06:58 – The external picture vs. the internal experience
07:14 – When the nervous system knows before the mind does
07:38 – A new season of life can reveal a partner’s true character
08:10 – Paige needed support, not projection
08:29 – External stress reveals cracks in emotional connection
08:44 – Signs of drifting: fantasizing about being alone
09:30 – Christina’s story: suburbia, disconnection, and the wrong life
09:59 – “I’m tired” often means “I feel invisible”
10:21 – Therapy and being seen in your relationship
10:48 – Feeling invisible when your partner minimizes your success
11:08 – Sex should be connection, not performance
11:31 – Withholding information because “they won’t get it”
12:02 – Real-life example: casual lies to avoid emotional presence
12:34 – When you stop fighting because you’ve given up
12:59 – Mentor story: “I left with nothing. I was so done.”
13:28 – It’s not too late, but it is time to tell the truth
13:46 – Could Paige and Craig have fixed it with emotional accountability?
14:22 – Questions to ask yourself if you're in the drift
14:36 – What happens when you speak up—and they don’t hear you
15:24 – Paige’s emotional transformation shown through her confessionals
15:43 – What are you protecting yourself from?
15:58 – Why aren’t you protecting your feelings?
16:15 – The version of yourself the relationship forced you to hide
16:34 – Red flag: Your partner can’t afford a ring and makes it your problem
16:51 – Relationship coaching and therapy: where the real work happens
17:03 – You can’t build intimacy while suppressing your truth
17:21 – It’s time to be honest: Are your needs continually minimized?
17:36 – When you're in the drift and already emotionally gone
17:59 – It's okay to leave. Even if it’s late. Even if it’s messy.
18:30 – Listen to your body—it’s speaking for your silenced self
18:46 – Share this episode with the friend who needs to hear it
19:00 – Support the show: Subscribe, review, and follow
19:16 – Outro
Let's dive into the psychology and spirituality of manifestation. But this isn’t your typical “script it and sip your green juice” advice. Christina blends therapeutic insight with real-life strategies for healing your nervous system, rewiring your beliefs, and becoming emotionally available to yourself first. Whether you're tired of breadcrumbing, ghosting, or repeating dating patterns, this episode will help you break the cycle and manifest the kind of love you truly deserve!
Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0
Let's connect:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast
Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction
01:03 – Christina’s story
02:42 – Healing begins: therapy, journaling, and manifesting from the inside out
03:34 – What she actually wrote in her journal
05:09 – Why manifestation isn’t about scripting every detail of your future partner
05:41 – You don’t attract what you want—you attract what you believe you deserve
08:00 – The Reticular Activation System: your brain’s love GPS
09:49 – Nervous system survival mode vs. calm, secure love
11:56 – The first rule of real manifestation: emotional availability with yourself
13:06 – Investing in love: the woman who paid $10k and got engaged
15:17 – “You don’t have the headspace to love”—a tough truth from a client session
16:26 – Drop the fantasy. Focus on mutual energy, clarity, and consistency
17:27 – Gratitude shifts your vibration—and your dating outcomes
18:48 – Living like the version of you who knows she’s worthy
19:08 – Signs you’re truly ready to manifest a healthy relationship
20:00 – How daily gratitude helps you attract real love
21:05 – Final truth bomb: “You’re not being ignored—you’re filtering love through wounds”
22:07 – Outro