What really keeps a relationship strong? Spoiler: It’s not vacations, proposals, or grand romantic gestures. In this episode, Christina reveals the one thing that research shows sustains love in the long run: bids for connection.
Listen now to learn what it means and how to recognize and respond to these small but powerful interactions that build lasting intimacy—and how ignoring them might be quietly eroding your connection.
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Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro
01:37 – The real thing that sustains relationships: micro-moments
02:41 – What are “bids for connection”? Explained with everyday examples
04:28 – Client story: mistaking grand gestures for intimacy
05:20 – Why grand gestures don’t guarantee real love
06:44 – Real-life micro-moment examples from Christina’s marriage
07:44 – Tiny repairs after conflict build trust
08:55 – How helpfulness can become a powerful bid for connection
09:17 – The erosion of love vs. the explosion: which one really ends relationships
10:59 – Why we miss bids: phones, work, overwhelm, and emotional baggage
11:39 – How to start recognizing and responding to bids
13:01 – Reflection and journal prompt walkthrough
14:08 – Final takeaway: The magic is in the moments
14:25 – Outro and ways to connect online