In this episode, Christina unpacks the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways we change ourselves to be loved, wanted, or accepted. Are you healing and growing because you want to or are you unconsciously shifting to become more palatable for your partner?
She dives into the difference between self-evolution and self-abandonment, explains the psychology behind shape-shifting in dating, and offers powerful self-check questions to help you reclaim your self-worth, authenticity, and voice in relationships. If you're tired of auditioning for love, this one’s for you.
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Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
00:20 Meet Christina and the podcast
00:31 Are you changing for you or for them
00:53 Inspired by real client conversations
01:11 People shrink themselves in relationships
01:42 Self-growth vs self-abandonment
02:15 Story of someone changing to please a partner
03:05 Change rooted in validation doesn’t last
03:50 The pressure to shape-shift in dating
04:33 People silence themselves without being asked
05:11 Acting feels heavy because it’s not real
05:27 Growth feels expansive, protection feels tight
06:04 Real change aligns with your values
06:33 Would you stay this version if they left
07:30 Childhood teaches us to adapt to be safe
08:39 Dating becomes a performance for approval
09:42 Validation-seeking leads to unhealthy change
10:01 Real love doesn’t ask you to shrink
10:45 Growth means setting boundaries and staying close to self
11:34 Christina shares how healing changed her relationships
12:23 Don’t shame your past self for surviving
12:56 Heal your own holes to become whole
13:29 Do you love yourself when you’re not performing
13:44 Closing thoughts and clarity call invite