my name’s helena and i am a self-silencer (hi helena) ;)
this episode chronicles my journey from compulsively hiding to stepping into the spotlight of my own life. specifically, i talk about overcoming my fear of speaking — the trembling, the throat-tightening, the urge to disappear.
this one’s for you if you’ve ever perspired at the thought of using your voice. i promise the world needs to hear you. sending love.
in this episode, i talk about what it really means to write your own manifesto — not as a performance or a strategy, but as a declaration of who you truly are. i share my personal manifesto, the process of stripping away the masks, personas, and beliefs that kept me from living in full integrity with it, and how writing it set me free. i also reflect on the three different versions of myself i’ve had on tiktok before this one — and how i finally gave myself permission to be me. this is about reclaiming your voice, your truth, and your art. when you write your manifesto, you stop waiting for permission and start creating from your soul.
hey fam — join me for a messy chit chat about the micro ways we abandon our bodies.
like ignoring the rest stop even though we have to pee.
like walking around with “cadaver feet” — purple, freezing, disconnected — because we forgot to care.
it’s a conversation about presence in the smallest choices, about learning to tend instead of override. i wander through stories of disconnection, Outlander binges, and the slow art of coming home to the body.
in this episode, i explore how codependency, parentification, and people-pleasing fracture our energy, scattering it in every direction but inward. i share my own story of how these patterns shaped my childhood, how they carried into adulthood, and the deep misbelief at the root: that our energy doesn’t belong to us.
we’ll talk about what it takes to call that energy back — to return to our bodies, reclaim our gut instincts, and live in alignment with our own truth. i also share a simple but powerful practice of radical truth-telling with your body, so you can honor your “no,” trust your inner signals, and begin creating a life that actually feels good.
in this episode, healing codependency: our creative urges, i share how my creative energy once got siphoned into relationships—how i could only access parts of myself within someone else. through the process of individuation and self-actualization, i trace back the creative breadcrumbs my soul was leaving, and reclaim those urges as my own. what once lived in codependent dynamics now finds its home in my voice, my art, and my ability to stand on my own two feet.
part one of my experience with psychedelics, witnessing the invisible wounds of my inner child & integrating the lessons
hang with me: https://linktr.ee/helenakearls
rock bottom isn’t failure — it’s redirection. when everything falls apart, it clears the way for your truest path. this is not advice, just my art + my truth.
come hang with me :) https://linktr.ee/helenakearls
the universe keeps showing me that chasing is an illusion. each heartbreak, each season of striving, leads me back to this truth.
we’ve been trained to obey experts and silence our own wisdom. but your body has always known the truth. in this episode, I dive into why expert culture fails us, the history of fragile egos in the DSM, and how to reclaim your body as your compass. It’s time to listen inward.
I thought being seen as beautiful would save me. But obsessing over my looks was never love — it was an addiction, a mask, a way to bypass shame. This is my story of objectification, survival, and reclamation.
in this episode, I share about a recent attack shame that came up when people from my past looked at my content — and the part of me that wonders if I should always be repenting for my past. I talk about the different “lives” I’ve lived, the toxic patterns born from trauma, and the difficult but necessary process of facing myself with honesty.
Messy, raw, real. This is me sitting with the weight of shame and asking: can I still choose joy?
for most of my life, I felt invisible. I wore masks, projected my hidden self onto lovers, friends, and even places I thought could complete me. but all along, my soul was leaving breadcrumbs — desires, longings, the beauty I admired in others — pointing me back to myself. in this episode, I share how I’m learning to become my own mirror: to see myself clearly, to reclaim what I once repressed, and to finally feel seen — by me.
follow me on TikTok: @helenaearlss
i left therapy work because i couldn’t keep pretending. the reality of healing — mine and yours — is messy, spiritual, nonlinear. i don’t want to be a trauma scholar. i want to be a truth-teller.
land of the free is a poem about survival & masking. in speaking it, the “clone” is replaced by the real me.
A brutally honest poem about my emotional landscape growing up — and how I learned to disappear. Part of unmasking is giving words to the story I once couldn’t tell.
I’m learning how to take off my invisibility cloak. That cloak is shame. For years it kept me in hiding, but I’m asking: how do I live in this world as myself? There are no easy answers, only a commitment to the little girl in me who is done hiding under the bed. This is me choosing to be seen. Come with me.
🎧 Listen on Spotify/Apple: linktr.ee/helenakearls
📱 TikTok: Helena.earlss
This is the first entry in my messy reclamation of my own voice — no plan, just a burning fire to be real before it’s too late. The things I’ve kept inside have eaten at me, and the person I’ve tried to present as isn’t really me. This Is Not Advice is my unfiltered journey.
An ex-therapist admits she knows nothing. This is my confessional—a space for the raw, messy, contradictory truth. I walked away from my career, blew up my life, and now I’m letting intuition—not fear—drive. No advice. No performance. Just me, telling the truth in real time.
