In this week’s AMA, Kyira answers a listener who’s realized their planning often comes at the cost of being present. Many of us over-plan not because we love control, but because control feels safe — it helps us avoid the shame of things going wrong.
Kyira breaks down how to shift from planning as protection to planning as preparation, using simple mindset and body-based tools to help you stop over-orchestrating and start living the moments you work so hard to create.
💡 Key Takeaways
🗣️ Submit Your Question
Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast.
In this heartfelt and eye-opening conversation, Kyira sits down with Michelle Waymire, a queer, anti-capitalist financial advisor and founder of Young + Scrappy, to explore the deep intersection of shame and money.
Together, they unpack the beliefs and stories we carry about money—stories often formed in childhood—that shape our self-worth, safety, and sense of control. Michelle shares her own early experiences with privilege and how they informed her journey toward more compassionate, values-based financial work.
From the myth of being “bad with money” to the toxic narratives of hustle culture and financial perfectionism, Kyira and Michelle reframe what it means to be in relationship with money. They invite listeners to approach finances not as a measure of worth but as an evolving, deeply personal practice of self-trust, curiosity, and care.
The episode dives into practical and emotional layers alike: how to detach shame from financial mistakes, how to talk about money with children without passing on our anxieties, and how to begin shifting from scarcity and control to neutrality and self-compassion.
Whether you’re working to pay down debt, trying to feel safer in your financial decisions, or just tired of feeling like you’re doing it “wrong,” this conversation will help you see money in a radically new light.
✨ Key Takeaways:
More about Michelle:
Michelle is a queer, anti-capitalist financial advisor and coach and the founder of two financial services companies: Young & Scrappy and Glimmer Financial. They are passionate about supporting marginalized groups in building a better relationship with their money, so that they can live joyful and abundant lives.
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In this week’s AMA, Kyira answers a question from a listener who works in a job where they’re constantly being yelled at — not because they’ve done something wrong, but because they’re the one standing in front of people when things go wrong. Even when you know it isn’t personal, it can still feel personal. So how do you hold onto your empathy without letting shame or resentment take over?
Kyira explores the tension between logic and emotion — why your nervous system reacts as if you’re under attack, even when your brain knows better — and how to protect your dignity without losing your compassion. This episode is about reclaiming your sense of peace in the face of others’ chaos, learning to name what’s yours (and what’s not), and remembering that caring doesn’t mean carrying.
💡 Key Takeaways
🔗 Resources & Mentions
Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast
A year after her first appearance, artist The Tracy Piper returns to Untethering Shame to talk about her evolution from loud advocate to deeply self-aware creator — and how being dangerous became her new form of love and resistance.
In this powerful conversation, Tracy and Kyira explore how vulnerability, rest, and authenticity threaten systems that profit from our numbness. They unpack the “dangerous” act of taking up space, setting boundaries, saying no, and believing we are worthy — even when it challenges old stories, relationships, and cultural conditioning.
Together, they invite listeners to rethink what it means to be dangerous — not as harm, but as healing — and to see how doing the work of self-love and radical acceptance can be a revolution in itself.
Key Takeaways
Dangerous doesn’t mean harmful — it means disruptive.
True danger lies in being brave enough to rest, speak up, and love yourself in a world that thrives on burnout and compliance.
Rest is rebellion.
Taking a nap, saying no, or slowing down can trigger shame and fear because our brains have learned these acts are “unsafe.” Learning to rest is a form of reprogramming.
We’re not that important — and that’s freeing.
Letting go of the illusion that the world will fall apart if we stop allows us to reclaim balance, presence, and boundaries.
Radical acceptance means choosing what’s yours to carry.
You can’t control how others respond, but you can stop reinforcing your own suffering by trying to manage everything.
Authenticity is dangerous to systems that depend on your silence.
Whether it’s family dynamics, hustle culture, or gender expectations, showing up truthfully challenges the status quo.
Vulnerability builds community.
The most dangerous — and healing — act is to let yourself be seen, loved, and connected, even when it feels safer to go it alone.
Art as activism.
Tracy’s Dangerous tour invites audiences to explore self-love through creativity, offering visual permission to rest, reflect, and reconnect.
More About Tracy:
The Tracy Piper is a contemporary painter, muralist, and activist whose vibrant figurative work celebrates self-love, empowerment, and the radical act of authenticity. A former circus performer turned full-time artist, Tracy’s work merges bold color with emotional honesty to challenge the narratives that keep us small and silent.
Her newest exhibition, Dangerous: A Pop-Up Art Experience, explores the revolutionary power of self-acceptance and the idea that loving yourself in a world that profits from your doubt is the most dangerous act of all. Based in the Bay Area, Tracy’s art has been featured in galleries across the U.S., and she continues to use her platform to foster connection, conversation, and creative rebellion.
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In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“Kyira, I feel like I’m always running at 100%, sometimes even 110%, just to keep everything together. I tell myself I’m fine, but then one small thing tips me over and I completely crash. Why does this keep happening, and how do I break the cycle without feeling like I’m failing?”
If you’ve ever lived on the edge of burnout, calling it “normal,” you know how exhausting and defeating that cycle can feel. We’re taught that giving our all means giving everything, all the time—but what if the truth is that sustainability actually lives at 80%, not 100?
Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you’ve ever felt like “fine until I’m not fine” is your baseline, this episode is for you.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit here anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the shame cycle — together.
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💬 Rest isn’t laziness—it’s what makes your life sustainable.
#AskMeAnything #BurnoutRecovery #ShameResilience #SustainableLiving #AdversityRising
In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with Mikkel Leslie — coach, author, and advocate for living a life that truly feels like yours — to explore the intersection of shame, anxiety, and the “ideal self.”
“We’ve spent our whole lives being told who we should be. At some point, we stop asking what actually feels right for us.”
Mikkel shares her story of leaving behind a successful but misaligned career in engineering and tech to rediscover her authentic self — a journey that included burnout, anxiety, and a reckoning with the stories she was taught about worth, stability, and success. Together, we unpack how early conditioning shapes our choices, how anxiety keeps us performing and conforming, and what it really means to reconnect with the emotional and physical cues that tell us who we are.
Inside this episode, we talk about:
If you’ve ever felt like you were living someone else’s version of your life, this episode is for you.
More about Mikkel:
Mikkel Leslie is a champion, author, and coach for those ready to live their own lives. She has coached hundreds of individuals awakening them to their potential. Before coaching, Mikkel went through her own journey of self-exploration, moving from what she was supposed to do, to what she is passionate about. Her journey started with engineering, tech, and sales and has led her to inspiring others to stand up for their own lives. You will find her at the beach in Southern California with her husband and pet plants.
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🧭 Key Takeaways
In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“My parents act like they have a right to unlimited access to my kids, even though they barely respect me as their parent. How do I deal with their guilt trips without cutting them off completely?”
This is one of the toughest dynamics adult children face: navigating the expectations parents bring into the grandparent role. When access to your kids gets demanded instead of earned, it can create huge tension and guilt.
Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you’ve ever felt torn between protecting your children and avoiding conflict with your parents, this episode is for you.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit here anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.
Ready to take the next step?
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💬 Being a grandparent is a privilege, not a right — and it begins with respecting your child as the parent.
#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ParentingAndShame #ShameResilience #AdversityRising
In this episode of Untethering Shame, Kyira sits down with photographer, painter, and grief educator Shannon McFarland to explore the intersection of shame and creativity.
Many of us grow up believing creativity is something we either have or don’t—a gift reserved for the “artistic.” Shannon challenges that belief, inviting us to see creativity as a practice of presence, process, and self-expression rather than performance or perfection. Together, she and Kyira unpack how early criticism, evaluation, and comparison can silence our creative voices, and how reclaiming that voice is one of the most powerful ways to reconnect with ourselves.
From stories about art class trauma and commissioned work to lessons from teaching painting in nursing facilities, Shannon reminds us that creativity isn’t about talent—it’s about curiosity, safety, and willingness to take risks. The conversation also touches on parenting, self-compassion, and how to model creative freedom for the next generation.
If you’ve ever said “I’m not creative,” or stopped yourself from making something because it wouldn’t be “good enough,” this episode will help you see that creativity lives in the way you dress, solve problems, make dinner, and respond to life itself.
Key Takeaways:
More about Shannon:
I'm a quirky, awkward, and kinda endearing person who cares a whole lot. I'm really interested in difficult, uncomfortable things and being present while those are being worked through, whether it's my stuff or someone else's. People know me as a photographer, painter, grief educator, and art teacher.
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In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“Why do I feel like the villain every time I set a boundary with my mom? I’ll say no to something simple, and suddenly I’m the worst child in the world. How do I not get crushed by the guilt?”
If you’ve ever tried to set a boundary with a parent — only to be met with anger, guilt trips, or silence — you know how brutal it can feel. Boundaries are meant to protect relationships, but when parents push back, it can leave you drowning in shame.
Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you’ve ever felt like setting a boundary makes you the “bad guy,” this episode is for you.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit here anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
💬 Boundaries are not rejection — they’re the doorway to healthier connection.
#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ShameResilience #AdultChildren #AdversityRising
In this episode of Untethering Shame, Kyira sits down with coach Renae for a candid and powerful conversation about control, perfectionism, food, body image, and the cycles we often get stuck in when trying to “fix” ourselves.
Together, they explore why so many high-achieving women find themselves trapped in all-or-nothing thinking—whether with dieting, work, relationships, or overcommitting—and how shame and self-doubt fuel these cycles. Renae shares her own experiences with food and body image, the dangers of living for external validation, and how real change begins when we learn to tolerate discomfort, let go of impossible ideals, and ask the question: Do I even want to keep doing this?
The conversation covers the messy middle between shame and growth, the cultural messages that reinforce perfection, and the freedom that comes when we step out of survival mode and start creating lives aligned with our actual values.
Listeners will walk away with both validation and practical tools to reframe their relationship with food, success, and self-worth—reminders that being “perfectly imperfect” is not only enough, it’s where real peace lives.
Key Takeaways:
More about Renae:
Renae Saager is a sharp, straight-talking mindset coach who helps high-achieving women stop secretly bingeing, obsessing over food, and pretending everything’s “fine” when it’s clearly not. After years of living a double life with food—binging, restricting, hiding, and punishing herself—Renae broke free. Today, she coaches women to do the same: no diets, no shame, no starting over every Monday.
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In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“Every time I go out with my parents, they expect me to pay — like it’s just assumed now because I ‘make more money.’ I’m drowning in bills myself. How do I set boundaries without looking ungrateful?”
Money is one of the biggest sources of tension in adult parent–child relationships. When parents expect their adult kids to pick up the tab — or worse, cover their expenses — it can feel like love is being measured in dollars. But the truth is: you don’t owe your parents financial support, and your worth as a child isn’t defined by whether you pay.
Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you’ve ever wondered whether saying “no” makes you ungrateful, this episode is for you.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit here anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
💬 Boundaries around money aren’t selfish — they’re necessary for healthy relationships.
#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #MoneyAndShame #ShameResilience #AdversityRising
Join the Boundaried & Brave Email Series
Summary
In this powerful conversation, Kyira sits down with longtime friend and colleague Renee Nelson to explore what it truly means to choose yourself, even when it’s hard. From walking away from a stable career and calling off an engagement to redefining what fulfillment looks like at different life stages, Renee shares the courage and self-trust it takes to let go of “fine” in order to thrive. Together, Kyira and Renee reflect on ambivalence, comparison, people-pleasing, and the shame that keeps so many of us from saying no.
Through stories of career pivots, relationship decisions, and the evolving balance between ambition and family life, they highlight the importance of support systems, the fear of irrelevance, and the deep work of trusting that—even in uncertainty—we will be okay. This episode is both deeply personal and widely relatable, offering listeners permission to reevaluate what they’re holding onto, where they may be settling, and how to begin choosing themselves without apology.
Key Takeaways:
More about Renee:
Renee Nelson is a travel enthusiast, adventure seeker, studio hopper (gyms) and new to the start up world, after being at a fortune 500 company for her first 7.5 years out of college. She prides herself on trying to find the positives in everything and absolutely adores people.
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In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“My dad keeps saying I ‘never come see him’ but he’s never once offered to drive to me. I’ve got two kids, a job, and no extra money for travel. Am I really the selfish one here?”
If you’ve ever been guilted into visiting a parent — even when your life is stretched thin — you’re not alone. We unpack the expectation that adult children should always be the ones to make visits happen, and why that’s not fair or sustainable.
Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you’ve ever felt selfish or ungrateful for saying “no” to a visit, this episode is for you.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit here anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
💬 Visits should be about joy and mutual effort — not guilt or obligation.
#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ShameResilience #AdultChildren #AdversityRising
In Part 2 of Kyira’s conversation with Change Consultant Carl King, the focus shifts from breaking free of rigid religious systems to the long and often messy process of rebuilding life afterward. Carl reflects on the terror and liberation of walking away, the ongoing pull of shame and self-sabotage, and the importance of learning to sit with discomfort instead of rushing toward quick fixes. Together, Kyira and Carl explore themes of identity, ambiguity, and curiosity as tools for healing and growth, reminding listeners that change is less about having the “right” answer and more about experimenting with new ways of being.
Key Takeaways
More about Carl:
Carl King is a Change Consultant, empowering organizations and individuals with methods for lasting change. Drawing from his rich tapestry of experiences, Carl brings a unique blend of empathy and insight to his coaching practice. His own journey taught him the power of embracing change, and he's dedicated his life to helping others navigate their own transformations skillfully.
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In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“Why does it always feel like I’m the bad guy for not calling my mom every day when she could just as easily call me? I’m exhausted and somehow it’s still on me.”
If you’ve ever felt guilty for not calling enough — or been shamed for not doing more to “keep the relationship alive” — you’ll connect with this one. We explore the guilt adult children often feel when parents put the responsibility of connection entirely on them, and what it takes to set that weight down.
Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly cast as the “bad guy” in your relationship with a parent, this episode is for you.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit here anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
💬 Love should feel mutual, not one-sided. You don’t have to carry the relationship alone.
#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ShameResilience #AdultChildren #AdversityRising
In this conversation, Kyira and Jennifer Ginty explore the deep connection between emotions, shame, and healing. Jennifer shares her personal journey of surviving childhood trauma, navigating Complex PTSD and depression, and ultimately creating My Moody Monster — a tool designed to help both children and adults externalize and regulate big emotions. Together, they discuss how society teaches us to suppress feelings, the generational cycles that keep us from emotional regulation, and why learning to face and integrate emotions is central to healing.
More about Jen:
Jen is the creator of Moody, a project born from her journey of living with Complex PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. Refusing to be defined by suffering, Jen sees Moody as a love story to her healing — a tool that has not only supported her through challenges but also helped children navigate their big feelings. Today, she is on a mission to bring Moody to first responders, social workers, and children facing traumatic events, ensuring they are met with care, support, and hope.
Connect with Jen:
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Key TakeawaysResources & Additional Information
In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“I’ve made so many decisions based on what I thought I ‘should’ do. I’m trying to live by my values now, but I feel lost. Where do I even start?”
We explore the messy, brave, and often disorienting process of untangling your identity from the “shoulds” you've inherited — and beginning the work of living by your own values. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you’ve ever felt like you built a life that looks good on paper but doesn’t feel like you — this episode is for you.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
💬 Letting go of “should” is not failure — it’s freedom. Start where you are. Build from what matters.
#AskMeAnything #LiveByYourValues #LetGoOfShould #ShameResilience #Authenticity #AdversityRising
In this thought-provoking episode, Kyira Wackett and Avani Patel delve into the societal pressures and standards that shape our lives. They explore the challenges of asking for help in a world that often equates vulnerability with weakness. Through personal stories and insightful discussions, they uncover how societal norms impact our sense of belonging and self-worth. Join them as they discuss the importance of reclaiming personal power and rewriting the narratives that no longer serve us. Tune in to discover how embracing vulnerability can lead to profound personal growth and stronger community connections.
More about Avani:
“I recently left corporate after 20 years to pursue my passion for helping others. As a hypnotherapist, I help my clients with deep healing. As a coach, I teach women how to end the hustle and grind of burnout so that they can have more balance, happiness, and fulfillment.”
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In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“How do I grieve someone who’s still alive? I’m watching a loved one self-destruct and I feel powerless.”
We explore the pain of ambiguous loss — the kind of grief that comes not from death, but from disconnection, decline, or change in someone you love. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you're mourning the version of someone you used to know — or the relationship you hoped you’d have — this episode is for you.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
💬 You don’t have to wait for closure to grieve. Some of the hardest goodbyes happen without words at all.
#AskMeAnything #AmbiguousLoss #GriefWhileTheyreAlive #ShameResilience #LettingGo #AdversityRising
Summer Re-Release SeriesWe’re taking a pause to rest and reflect—and sharing some of your favorite episodes in the meantime. These powerful conversations are worth revisiting, whether it’s your first time listening or a timely return. New episodes resume September 7th.
Episode: Shame & the Shadow Self with Lena PapadopoulosIn this final episode of our summer re-release series, Kyira sits down with trauma-informed educator and leadership coach Lena Papadopoulos to explore the shadow self—the parts of us we hide, suppress, or reject because of shame and societal pressure. Together, they uncover how this suppression impacts our identity, emotional responses, and even our collective well-being.
The conversation dives into the protective mechanisms that form in childhood, the compounding effect of conformity, and how cultural narratives and historical trauma shape the way we see ourselves and others. Most importantly, Kyira and Lena highlight the power of compassionate shadow work—integrating the parts of ourselves we’ve rejected in order to live authentically and foster collective healing.
Key Takeaways
The shadow self represents the hidden aspects of our identity shaped by shame and societal pressure.
Suppression often begins as a protective mechanism in childhood and deepens through conformity.
Our emotional reactions and judgments of others can reveal the shadows we’ve disowned.
Cultural narratives and historical trauma influence how we express ourselves and see others.
Shadow work requires compassion, curiosity, and the willingness to integrate rejected parts of self.
Embracing nuance and iterative growth leads to personal liberation and deeper connection with others.
About Lena:Lena Papadopoulos is a trauma-informed educator, coach, facilitator, and consultant supporting purpose-driven leaders and changemakers in creating a more inclusive, equitable world. She developed (R)EVOLutionary Change, a human-centered leadership framework that addresses trauma-based shadows in individuals, society, and systems. With nearly 20 years of experience in intercultural education, leadership development, and community building, Lena’s work integrates sociology, psychology, and evolutionary astrology to foster individual and collective liberation.
Connect with Lena:
- Website