If you've been telling yourself that anger is bad, that resentment needs to be fixed, or that you shouldn't still be feeling hurt about the betrayal – you're trapped in a lie that's making your healing so much harder than it needs to be. Maybe you've been conditioned to believe that "good wives" feel compassionate and forgiving, while emotions like rage or bitterness mean something's wrong with you. You're exhausting yourself trying to push away the "negative" emotions and force yourself to feel "positive" ones instead. But what if the problem isn't the emotions themselves – it's your belief that some emotions are dangerous and need to be avoided?
In this episode, Katie reveals why there's no such thing as good or bad emotions, and how your resistance to uncomfortable feelings is actually creating more suffering than the feelings themselves. You'll discover why trying to protect your husband and kids from negative emotions is sabotaging their growth, how the 50-50 principle will revolutionize your entire life, and the powerful mindset shift that will help you stop being afraid of your own emotions. When you learn to feel the full spectrum of human emotions without judgment, you'll finally stop checking his phone, holding back your trust, and breaking down every time he wants to be intimate – because you'll know that no emotion is more powerful than you.
Free training signup: https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/training-signup
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
If you've been carrying the same painful story about yourself since your husband's betrayal was discovered – "I'm not enough," "I'm broken," "this is my fault" – it's time to realize that story isn't serving you anymore. Maybe you've been replaying the narrative that you're a victim of his choices, or that his porn use means something terrible about your worth as a wife. But what if the story you're telling yourself about your betrayal isn't actually true?
In this episode, Katie shows you how to identify the disempowering stories running your life and gives you the tools to rewrite them from a place of truth and power. You'll discover why your brain clings to victim narratives (even when they hurt), how to separate what actually happened from the meaning you've assigned to it, and the exact process for creating a new story that serves your healing instead of keeping you stuck. When you learn to rewrite your story, you stop being a character things happen to and become the author of your own transformation.
Free training signup: https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/training-signup
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
If you've ever caught yourself thinking "I can handle the porn, I just can't handle the lying" or threatened your husband with "if you lie one more time, I'm done with this marriage" – you're missing a crucial piece of the puzzle. Maybe the betrayal itself feels manageable, but the constant lies and deception are what's really eating you alive. You tell yourself that if he could just be honest about his struggles, you could work through this together. But what if the lying isn't a separate character flaw you need to fix?
In this episode, Katie reveals the uncomfortable truth about why porn and lying are actually part of the exact same problem, and why trying to logic your husband into honesty will never work. You'll discover the real reason behind the lies (hint: it's not because he doesn't love you), why your ultimatums about truth-telling are setting both of you up for failure, and the mindset shift that changes everything. When you understand what's really driving both behaviors, you'll stop fighting two different battles and finally know how to respond in a way that actually creates lasting change.
Free training signup: https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/training-signup
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
Maybe you've convinced yourself you can figure this out on your own. You've been listening to podcasts, reading books, and telling yourself that once your husband gets his act together, you'll feel better. But here's the uncomfortable truth: your brain is keeping you stuck in a cycle you don't even realize you're in. Just like Katie thought she was riding perfectly until her trainer pointed out her hands were half an inch off, you might think you're healing – but you don't know what you don't know. And without someone who's been exactly where you are showing you the way, you'll keep riding in circles thinking you're making progress.
In this episode, Katie shares her journey back to horseback riding lessons and the humbling realization that she needed a trainer to see what she couldn't see herself. She breaks down why your brain is giving you every excuse in the book to avoid getting help (spoiler: it's trying to keep you "safe" in your familiar pain), and why support from someone outside your marriage is absolutely critical for your healing. You'll discover why connecting with other women who understand betrayal is the most transformational part of healing, and get a practical challenge to take one step this week toward getting the support you desperately need.
If you've ever believed that porn is really about sex, or that getting married will solve a porn problem, or that your young kids definitely haven't been exposed yet – you're not alone. These myths are everywhere in Christian circles, passed down through church lessons and well-meaning advice. But after eight years of working with hundreds of couples navigating porn addiction and betrayal, Katie and her husband Matt have heard it all. And in this episode, Katie is calling out the myths that are creating more shame, keeping people stuck, and preventing real healing.
Katie breaks down the most damaging misconceptions about porn use – from the belief that it makes someone a "bad person" to the idea that it can be fixed overnight with one good confession. You'll discover why porn isn't actually about sex at all (it's about emotional regulation), why assuming your kids haven't seen it is dangerous, and the uncomfortable truth about how common this struggle really is in your church and social circles. This episode isn't about pointing fingers or shaming anyone – it's about giving you the education and compassion you need to actually help someone you love who's struggling, or to find hope if you're the one dealing with this.
Free guide to taking the first step in healing:https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/firststep
Free training signup: https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/training-signup
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
If you've ever caught yourself thinking "once I heal from this betrayal, I'll never feel triggered again" or "once my husband stops looking at porn, everything will be perfect" – I'm about to burst your bubble a little bit. Maybe you look at coaches or mentors who are further ahead and imagine they have everything figured out, that they never check their husband's phone anymore, never struggle with their body or self-worth. Part of you really wants to believe that's true because it gives you hope that one day you'll arrive at some magical destination where you don't hurt anymore.
In this episode, I'm getting vulnerable about what I still struggle with after almost 10 years of marriage and years of healing work. But here's the twist: I'm not sharing this to discourage you. The point isn't reaching some fantasy outcome where you never feel negative emotions again. The point is expanding your "home zone" so those emotions don't dysregulate you anymore. When you understand this one concept, you'll stop waiting to arrive and start becoming – which is where all your power actually lives.
Free resource "The First Step to Heal from Porn Betrayal": https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/firststep
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
If you've ever caught yourself blaming your husband for the pain and triggers you're experiencing, or waiting for him to change so you could finally feel better, this episode is going to challenge everything you think you know about healing from betrayal. Maybe you don't even realize you're doing it, but there's a sneaky pattern playing out that's keeping you completely stuck – and it has nothing to do with your husband's behavior.
In this episode, Katie exposes the victim-villain-savior cycle that's secretly running your life and sabotaging your healing. You'll discover why making your husband both the villain AND the savior is keeping you powerless, how you might be unintentionally cementing him into a victim role, and the uncomfortable truth about where your real power actually comes from. When you understand this pattern and learn to step out of it, you'll stop waiting for someone else to rescue you and finally become the hero of your own story.
Free training signup: https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/training-signup
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
If your husband is struggling with porn use, you're probably trying everything you can to "support" him through it. You're checking in daily, sending him articles, managing his recovery plan, and getting frustrated when he doesn't follow your advice. But what if everything you think is "supporting" him is actually making it harder for your husband to quit? What if your well-intentioned help is keeping him stuck in a victim mentality instead of empowering him to change?
In this encore episode, Katie reveals why most women's attempts to support their husbands actually backfire – and it's not because you don't love him enough. She'll show you the sneaky way your brain convinces you that controlling his recovery will help YOU feel better, why being his savior robs him of the growth he needs, and the one thing that will actually support his healing (hint: it has nothing to do with managing his behavior). When you learn to truly support your husband, you'll stop feeling like his mother and start building the intimate, trusting marriage you actually want.
Free training signup: https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/training-signup
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
If you're confused, frustrated, or resentful because your boundaries "aren't working" – constantly getting upset when your husband "crosses" them or feeling defeated because people won't respect what you've asked for – it's probably because you've been doing boundaries completely wrong. Maybe you've been taught that boundaries are rules for other people to follow, or that you need to "hold your husband accountable" when he doesn't comply. The truth is, the way most people are being taught about boundaries is disempowering, not useful, and will make your life harder.
In this episode, Katie breaks down exactly what boundaries are NOT (spoiler: they're not about controlling other people), what they actually ARE (hint: they're 100% about YOU), and why no one can actually "cross" your boundaries except yourself. You'll discover the two essential parts every healthy boundary must have, why boundaries should always come from love, and how to finally create boundaries that actually protect your peace instead of leaving you feeling powerless. When you understand what boundaries are really for, you'll stop waiting for other people to make you feel safe and start taking your power back.
Free training signup: https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/training-signup
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
If you've ever wondered why you feel completely stuck in the same painful patterns after betrayal – constantly checking his phone, avoiding difficult conversations, or telling yourself you're "fine" when you're absolutely not – there's actually a scientific reason. It's not that you're broken or doing something wrong. It's just the way your primitive brain was designed to keep you "safe." And once you see this hidden system running your life, everything is going to change.
In this episode, Katie breaks down the three sneaky ways your brain is keeping you trapped in betrayal (hint: it's the exact same system driving your husband's porn use). You'll discover why your brain thinks scrolling social media at 2 AM is "helping" you, why setting boundaries feels impossible even though you know you need them, and the shocking truth about why that bubble bath self-care isn't actually healing you. When you understand your motivational triad, you'll finally have leverage over the primitive part of your brain that's been sabotaging your healing – and you'll know exactly how to step out of these cycles for good.
Free video "The Real Reason Your Husband Watches Porn": https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/therealreasonyourhusbandwatchespornaccess
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
If you're constantly spinning through the same painful emotions after betrayal - anger, resentment, blame - feeling like you're stuck in an endless cycle that never gets better, this episode will change everything for you. Katie shares a hilarious (and slightly embarrassing) story about an Andes mint binge gone wrong that perfectly illustrates the difference between clean pain and dirty pain. You'll discover why that anger and blame actually feels good in the moment but keeps you trapped, and learn to identify the deeper emotions underneath that will actually set you free.
Katie breaks down exactly how to recognize when you're indulging in "dirty pain" (those surface-level emotions that feel productive but keep you stuck) versus getting to the "clean pain" underneath (the sadness, grief, and hurt that actually heal you when processed). When you learn to feel your emotions without all the stories and meaning your brain attaches to them, you'll stop being afraid of your husband's next relapse. You'll finally have the tools to handle anything that comes your way with confidence and peace, because you'll trust yourself completely.
Get your spot for my FREE training:
https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/training-signup
If you've ever felt like your emotions were completely running you instead of you running them, you're not alone. Maybe you've snapped at your kids over something tiny, thrown something in a moment of rage, or found yourself sobbing in your car wondering what's wrong with you. In this episode, I'm sharing one of my most embarrassing stories – the day I completely lost it and smashed my phone into pieces – and everything I learned about why our emotions feel so out of control when we're dealing with betrayal.
The truth is, when you're carrying unprocessed emotions and trauma, your "bucket" gets fuller and fuller until it eventually spills over in ways that don't align with who you want to be. I'm breaking down the red flags that show your nervous system is dysregulated, why avoiding your emotions actually makes them stronger, and the exact process I teach my clients to empty their emotional buckets in healthy, effective ways. You'll learn the difference between temporary relief (like checking his phone) and actual healing, plus what it looks like to show up as the woman, wife, and mom you truly want to be.
Coaching membership waitlist (opening August 28th - only 20 spots!): https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/coaching-waitlist
Free training signup: https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/training-signup
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
If you're holding onto thoughts like "my husband doesn't love me" or "I'm not enough" so tightly that they're all you can see, you're being blinded by your own mind. Maybe these thoughts feel so true and so real that you can't imagine thinking any other way. You wake up with them, go to bed with them, and they color every interaction you have with your husband. What if I told you that these thoughts – even though they feel absolutely true – might not be facts at all?
In this episode, I'm sharing my personal experience with intrusive thoughts that feel 100% real (spoiler: they involve a breastfeeding condition), and how this relates to the thoughts that are keeping you stuck in betrayal. I'll teach you the difference between thoughts that are rocks right in front of your face versus thoughts you can mold like putty, plus the three powerful questions that will help you determine if your most painful thoughts are actually true or just your dysregulated nervous system screaming for attention. You'll also learn why looking at your thoughts (like looking at a jump while horseback riding) will make you crash right into them.
Coaching membership waitlist (opening August 28th - only 20 spots!): https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/coaching-waitlist
Free training signup: https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/training-signup
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
If you're feeling frustrated because you had a great morning of prayer and journaling, only to find yourself spiraling by lunchtime when your husband's phone buzzes – you're not alone. Maybe you're wondering why healing feels like such an exhausting roller coaster, or beating yourself up because you thought you were "past" that trigger that just completely derailed your day. The truth is, you're probably making your healing journey harder than it needs to be because you're expecting it to be linear.
In this episode, I'm sharing why healing is supposed to feel like one step forward and two steps back (and why that's actually a good sign you're making progress). I'll walk you through the spiral staircase concept that will completely change how you view your setbacks, plus real examples from language learning, fitness, and parenting that prove this is exactly how growth works. You'll learn the powerful question to ask yourself next time you feel like you're "back where you started" and hear an incredible two-year transformation story from one of my clients that will give you hope for your own journey.
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
If you're spiraling because your husband lied to you again, feeling angry that he relapsed, or beating yourself up for checking his phone when you "know better" – you're caught in what I call the Shouldn't Trap. It's that sneaky voice in parentheses saying (he shouldn't be lying), (I shouldn't be feeling this way), (this shouldn't be happening). And here's the truth: that little word "shouldn't" is causing you more pain than whatever's actually happening in your reality.
In this episode, I'm exposing the hidden trap that's keeping you stuck in cycles of judgment, criticism, and suffering. I'll show you why fighting against what IS only makes everything worse, and teach you the powerful question that instantly shifts you from resistance to peace. When you learn to drop the "shouldn't" and ask yourself "Why does it make so much sense that this is happening?" – everything changes. You'll stop exhausting yourself fighting reality and start finding meaning, compassion, and actual solutions.
Free resource "The First Step to Heal from Porn Betrayal": https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/firststep
If you're wondering where God is in the middle of your husband's porn addiction, feeling abandoned by Him when you need Him most, or questioning why He would let this happen to your marriage – you're not alone. Maybe you've been crying out in prayer, begging for this to be taken away, only to feel like heaven is silent. I get it. I've been in that bathroom at 2 AM, sobbing and wondering if God even cared about my pain.
In this episode, I'm sharing how I learned to see God's hand in my betrayal story – not just looking back, but even in the darkest moments when it felt like He'd abandoned me. I'll tell you about the life-changing moment in a church meeting that shifted everything for me, why your betrayal might actually be part of God's plan (not a mistake), and how to find His presence even when your husband relapses again. Plus, I'm revealing the powerful question that will help you see your current struggle from an eternal perspective.
Free resource "The First Step to Heal from Porn Betrayal": https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/firststep
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
If you've ever walked into Target with your husband and felt your chest tighten, your mind race, and your body go into full panic mode – you're not alone. Maybe for you it's not Target. Maybe it's the beach, the gym, or even just seeing him close his phone screen. Whatever it is, that feeling of being completely hijacked by a "harmless" situation is exhausting, and it's running your life.
In this episode, I'm breaking down what's really happening in your brain when you get triggered (hint: it has nothing to do with Target), why avoiding your triggers is actually making them worse, and the sneaky way your mind is using these triggers to keep you stuck. I'll share my own humiliating beach meltdown from early in my recovery and reveal the exact process I used to go from full-blown panic attacks to actual peace. Plus, I'm giving you the step-by-step framework to start untangling your triggers this week.
Email for questions: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
You say you want to heal from betrayal. You want to stop feeling anxious, stop snooping on his phone, and finally feel peace in your marriage. But here's the truth I'm sharing today: most women want the outcome without the "become." They want the destination without the journey, the results without the transformation. And that's exactly why they stay stuck for years.
In this episode, I'm getting real about what it ACTUALLY takes to heal from betrayal – and why your DIY approach with podcasts and self-help books isn't working. I'll share my own humbling business story about wanting $200K without becoming a $200K entrepreneur (spoiler: it didn't work), and I'll walk you through the 4 emotional stages every woman goes through on her healing journey. Plus, I'm calling out the sneaky trap of quitting right before your breakthrough and why 99.9% of people never make it to the other side.
Sign up for my free training to learn everything you need to heal!
https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/training-signup
Send in questions or topic requests to katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
If you're constantly spinning between blaming your husband for looking at porn and then turning around and blaming yourself for not being enough, you're trapped in a vicious cycle that's keeping you stuck. You know that exhausting mental ping-pong where you go from "He's ruining our marriage!" to "Maybe if I was prettier/better/different..." – and neither thought brings you any peace?
In this episode, I'm exposing the sneaky blame-shame trap that's secretly sabotaging your healing (hint: it has nothing to do with whose fault it actually is). I'll show you exactly how to break free from this destructive pattern and share the radical mindset shift that changed everything in my own marriage. Plus, I'm getting vulnerable about my own struggle with this just last night – because yes, even coaches get caught in this trap sometimes!
Resources mentioned:
Email for waitlist: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com
The pain and hurt you're feeling from your husband's porn use isn't actually from his porn use – it's from what you're making his behaviors mean about you. In today's episode, I'm diving deep into the lies you believe about yourself. These aren't lies that other people are telling you – these are lies you've been telling yourself, and they started way before your husband's porn problem.
Most of the negative beliefs we carry about ourselves were developed before we were 8 years old. Your brain has been gathering evidence for these beliefs for years, and now your husband's porn use is just shining a spotlight on wounds that were already there. But here's the good news: just like your brain learned to believe these lies through repetition, you can rewire it to believe the truth about who you are.
Get my new, free resource to help you take the first step in your healing!
https://thechristianbetrayalcoach.com/firststep
Sign up for my free training to learn everything you need to heal!