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Stu Murray
Stu Murray
92 episodes
2 days ago
Become the man your family chooses to follow and you respect when you're alone. I'm Stu Murray, a men's leadership coach focused on relationship transformation. This podcast supports your journey with honest conversations about authentic leadership, relationship transformation, and what it takes to stop performing and start being real. Topics include: Relationship dynamics, masculine leadership, purpose, self-trust, and becoming a man worth following. You're the one doing the work. I'm here to help you see what's possible. New episodes weekly.
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Self-Improvement
Education
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All content for Stu Murray is the property of Stu Murray and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Become the man your family chooses to follow and you respect when you're alone. I'm Stu Murray, a men's leadership coach focused on relationship transformation. This podcast supports your journey with honest conversations about authentic leadership, relationship transformation, and what it takes to stop performing and start being real. Topics include: Relationship dynamics, masculine leadership, purpose, self-trust, and becoming a man worth following. You're the one doing the work. I'm here to help you see what's possible. New episodes weekly.
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Self-Improvement
Education
Episodes (20/92)
Stu Murray
I Nearly Died at 23. Here's What It Taught Me About Living w/ Mark Black

Heart transplant at 23. Six months in hospital waiting to die. Then a choice: coast through the borrowed time—or actually live.

Mark Stewart didn't just survive adversity. He befriended it. In this raw conversation, he reveals how facing mortality young gave him the perspective most men don't get until it's too late. Strategic discomfort. The "live today" mindset. Why your ladder might be against the wrong wall.

If you've been postponing the life you actually want to live, waiting for "someday" to pursue what matters—this hits different.When do you feel most alive? And what are you doing about it?

Key Timestamps :

00:00 – Making Adversity Your Friend

03:44 – Born With a Broken Heart

07:10 – Facing Death at 23

08:23 – Running a Marathon After Transplant

11:27 – The Power of Facing Mortality

15:07 – Strategic Discomfort: The Key to Growth

20:26 – Identity Shifts and Habit Stacking

31:45 – Live Today

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2 days ago
34 minutes 4 seconds

Stu Murray
How to Build Self-Worth Without Chasing Approval w/ Connor Beaton

You've been lying to yourself, to others, about what you need and who you are. That fragmentation is destroying your self-worth from the inside out. Connor Beaton reveals why modern men are stuck in perpetual boyhood, how fatherless generations created an initiation crisis, and the brutal truth about becoming a man in a culture that abandoned masculine maturation. This isn't about testosterone optimization or alpha posturing—it's about the coherence that comes when you stop abandoning yourself. If you've ever felt like a lost boy wearing a man's responsibilities, this conversation maps the way forward. The question: Are you ready to stop running from other men and finally trust yourself?Connect with Connor Beaton:Watch on Youtube: www.youtube.com/@mantalksRead his Book: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Key Timestamps : 00:00 – Trusting Yourself as a Man01:09 – The Myth of Toxic Masculinity06:00 – The Power of Truth and Integrity09:55 – The Trap of Mental Overload13:15 – The Rise of the Man Child17:42 – The Crisis of Missing Male Role Models23:00 – What Healthy Masculinity Actually Looks Like32:35 – The Death of Male Initiation42:10 – The War for the Hearts and Minds of Men49:45 – Healing the Wound Between Men

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1 week ago
54 minutes 57 seconds

Stu Murray
54 : Why Strong Men Die Alone: The Truth About Safety & Choice W/ Graeme Ford

Most men are walking around saying, "I'm good, I'm fine," while slowly dying inside.


This conversation reveals why the armor that once protected you is now suffocating you—and what it actually takes to break free. Graham Ford (Super G) and Stu explore the difference between knowing you're loved and feeling it, why your nervous system keeps choosing familiar hell over unfamiliar heaven, and what holding space actually means when someone's walking toward their cave.

This isn't therapy talk or surface-level tactics. It's the raw truth about safety, choice, and what becomes possible when men finally stop performing and start feeling.

The question isn't whether you need this work—it's whether you're ready to stop pretending you don't.

Connect with Graham Ford:

Instagram: @manalignedWebsite: https://www.manaligned.ca/

🔺Key Timestamps :

00:01:13 – The Real Meaning of Men’s Work

00:04:21 – The Question That Changed His Relationship With His Son

00:06:50 – Why Strong Men Avoid Emotions

00:09:16 – Walking Into the Cave of Fear

00:13:03 – Healing in Relationship

00:16:44 – You Become the People You’re Around

00:19:07 – The Power of Choice

00:20:05 – What It Really Means to Hold Space

00:25:01 – The Ethics of Men’s Work

00:38:04 – Why He Cares So Deeply About This Work

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2 weeks ago
43 minutes 56 seconds

Stu Murray
What Happens When Men Stop Pretending (Sacred Sons Founder)

You think you're the only one barely holding it together. You're not.After witnessing 10,000+ men in ceremony, Adam Jackson reveals the single poisonous belief that keeps brothers isolated in shame, grief, and pain—and the ancient practice that breaks it open. This isn't therapy. It's drinking from the firehose of what's actually possible when men stop pretending they have it figured out.Sacred Sons founder Adam Jackson shares what emerges when men (and women) create containers brave enough for truth: the contraction before breakthrough, why "who else?" changes everything, and how we're conditioned out of the wonder that could save us.If you've been white-knuckling it alone, thinking everyone else has it together—this one's for you.Connect with Adam Jackson:Website: www.sacredsons.comInstagram: @sacredsons 🔺Key Timestamps00:00 – Opening: Adam Jackson on “Remembrance” and the power of men & women coming together02:12 – Creating safety, brave spaces, and the meaning of true support05:46 – Intergenerational healing & the beauty of being held08:23 – When men and women unite authentically — the village feeling returns10:16 – The ancient future and rediscovering our tribal essence13:18 – What women misunderstand about men’s inner world16:34 – How to support men without trying to fix them20:19 – The internal battle most men are fighting today27:05 – The illusion of isolation — “you’re not alone in your pain”33:33 – Ceremony, rebirth & the reminder that life itself is sacred38:49 – Why we must slow down, return to wonder, and learn from children45:55 – Raising strong boys through presence, not perfection50:00 – The evolution of masculinity and hope for men’s future

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3 weeks ago
54 minutes 11 seconds

Stu Murray
Why Most Men Are Living Other People's Dreams (Time to Wake Up)

Most men are sleepwalking through lives designed by others - trapped in mediocre circles, chasing external validation, and wondering why success feels hollow. This conversation with Matt Bourque cuts through the noise with brutal honesty about what it really takes to build an intentional life.We explore why surrounding yourself with the right people isn't optional, how to audit your current circle without burning bridges, and why your health is the foundation everything else is built on. From breaking free of social media metrics to creating from abundance rather than scarcity, this is about becoming the man who knows where he's going.This isn't about perfection - it's about direction. It's about prioritizing yourself so you can show up fully for others. It's about choosing discomfort over mediocrity and building the life you actually want, not the one you think you should want.Connect with Matt:Instagram: @drivendadmethod 🔥 READY TO STOP DRIFTING? → Take The 7-Day Reset for High-Performing Men: https://www.stumurray.com/7-day-reset Seven questions that separate the men who change from the men who stay stuck. Most won't finish it.ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHRI help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within. This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.🔺Key Timestamps :00:01:59 – Why every man should celebrate fitness in his life00:06:27 – The danger and power of comparison in men’s circles00:10:23 – How to limit exposure to toxic friendships00:13:50 – Why joy is found in simplicity, not achievements00:18:40 – Retirement isn’t what you think: losing drive & purpose00:21:15 – The small habit that keeps friendships alive00:25:22 – Why grief and sadness also belong at the table00:30:09 – Anger as a shield for shame and insecurity00:43:24 – “Your vibe attracts your tribe” – owning your energy00:55:49 – Business is better (and more fun) with collaboration

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1 month ago
1 hour 12 minutes 8 seconds

Stu Murray
I Was Stuck Overthinking Everything Until I Learned This

You're overthinking because you've been chasing the wrong kind of clarity. Most men wait until they have it all figured out before making their next move—but that's exactly what keeps them stuck.

In this video, I break down the three lessons that shifted everything for me. If you've been performing for others instead of pursuing what you actually want, this will hit different. The question isn't whether you're ready—it's whether you're willing to start.

🔥 READY TO STOP DRIFTING? → Take The 7-Day Reset for High-Performing Men: https://www.stumurray.com/7-day-reset Seven questions that separate the men who change from the men who stay stuck. Most won't finish it.

ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHR

I help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within.

This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.

🔺Key Timestamps :

00:00:18 – Clarity isn’t certainty, it’s direction

00:02:42 – Ask yourself: What do I want?

00:06:15 – Eliminating what doesn’t serve your highest good

00:08:36 – Resistance shows you’re doing something meaningful

00:16:11 – Discipline is trading short-term comfort for long-term growth

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1 month ago
18 minutes 39 seconds

Stu Murray
I Tried to Kill Myself 7 Times—Here's What Saved Me w/ Ned Weidner

“Every morning for 15 years, my first thought was: ‘How will I kill myself today?’ I put a gun to my head at 19—it misfired. That moment began a journey into the wild that saved my life and revealed an ancient path back to wholeness.”Most men today are living someone else's life, domesticated beyond recognition, severed from the primal wildness that once kept us alive and thriving. The result? Epidemic levels of depression, addiction, and spiritual emptiness that no amount of success can fill.In this raw conversation, wilderness guide Ned Weiner shares how tracking animals taught him to track his inner wildness, how nature became his therapist when therapy failed, and why the modern crisis of masculinity is actually a crisis of disconnection from our deepest selves.If you've ever felt like you're pushing a boulder up a mountain alone, this conversation offers a different path—one that leads home to who you really are.CONNECT WITH NEDwww.stepintoyourwild.com/🔥 READY TO STOP DRIFTING? → Take The 7-Day Reset for High-Performing Men: https://www.stumurray.com/7-day-reset Seven questions that separate the men who change from the men who stay stuck. Most won't finish it.ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHRI help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within. This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.🔺Key Timestamps :00:01:54 Rivers, mountains, and horses kept him alive → the birth of "Step Into Your Wild" 00:08:30 Store-bought food vs. honoring the hunt → deeper nourishment and connection 00:14:36 You don’t need gear to connect with nature + surviving suicide attempts through tracking 00:19:30 Tracking animals as a metaphor for tracking your inner wildness 00:36:45 Offering pain to nature → aloneness and the Sisyphus boulder struggle 00:41:49 Why asking for help feels so hard in Western culture 00:46:15 Learning to receive → reciprocity and growth in relationships 00:55:04 Healing in relationship with people and the land (fire, stars, moonlight) 01:01:05 Writing as healing → shifting from victim to creator 01:17:58 Closing message: “Just take that first step” → a life beyond imagination is waiting

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1 month ago
1 hour 21 minutes 25 seconds

Stu Murray
Stop Saying These 3 Words (They Make You Look Weak)

Strong men don’t say "I have to," "I need to," or "I should"—but most guys leak power through this victim language without realizing it. These three phrases instantly signal weakness and make you appear untrustworthy to your wife, kids, and colleagues.If you're tired of feeling powerless, resentful, or like you're constantly seeking approval, this simple language shift will help you reclaim your masculine authority. I'll show you exactly how to reframe weak language into confident leadership communication that makes people want to follow you.The result? You'll stop giving your power away, eliminate resentment, and become the grounded leader your family needs.CONNECT WITH WAYNEwww.instagram.com/asacredking🔥 READY TO STOP DRIFTING? → Take The 7-Day Reset for High-Performing Men: https://www.stumurray.com/7-day-reset Seven questions that separate the men who change from the men who stay stuck. Most won't finish it.ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHRI help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within. This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.🔺Key Timestamps :00:00 - The 3 phrases that secretly weaken men ("I have to, I need to, I should") 00:01:00 - A real story: a man on the edge of divorce repeating "I have to" 00:02:30 - Why saying "I need to" kills confidence and trust 00:03:50 - Reframing chores: from "I need to" → "I choose to" 00:06:00 - The powerful framework: "I choose to [action] because I value [belief]" 00:08:00 - How childhood trains us to give away our choices 00:12:50 - The path to fulfillment: reclaiming power through conscious choice

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1 month ago
15 minutes 49 seconds

Stu Murray
Why Men Are Collapsing (And Women Are Walking Away) w/ Wayne Barkus

Most men are performing strength instead of embodying it – and women can sense it from a mile away. After Wayne Barkus’ divorce, he discovered he was choking on his own truth, seeking approval from everyone except himself. This conversation reveals why the age of uninitiated men is ending and what rises from the ashes.

We explore the invisible forces keeping men sedated, the difference between fitting in and belonging, and why women are exhausted carrying the weight of potential. From the collapse of masculine mentorship to the urgent need for modern initiation – this isn't just another self-help conversation.

Wayne shares his journey from performing for approval to self-sourcing his worth, and why the real work begins when comfort ends. If you've ever felt successful but empty, achieved everything yet satisfied nothing, this mirror might sting – but it could change your life.

CONNECT WITH WAYNE : www.instagram.com/asacredking

🔥 READY TO STOP DRIFTING? → Take The 7-Day Reset for High-Performing Men: https://www.stumurray.com/7-day-reset Seven questions that separate the men who change from the men who stay stuck.

Most won't finish it.ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHR

I help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within. This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.

🔺Key Timestamps :

00:00 – Cracking open in therapy & meeting real men

02:47 – Realizing the hero’s journey & the power of talking

08:05 – Facing betrayal of self & the missing spiritual initiation

11:20 – Childhood conditioning: “man up” & suppress emotions

17:20 – The call of the awakened warrior & peeling back layers

19:16 – The age of the uninitiated man is ending

26:54 – Why men can’t mature while seeking parental approval

29:36 – Women sensing truth & unsafe “I’m fine” responses

41:26 – The dark engine: disconnection from spirit & creativity

1:06:23 – Initiation begins with one step – Rumi’s wisdom

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1 month ago
1 hour 13 minutes 12 seconds

Stu Murray
Orthodox Priest: Why Modern Men Are Spiritually Starving

What happens when a successful priest realizes he's "done everything right" but is dying inside? Father Michael Butler's panic attack at 45 became the catalyst for a profound transformation - and this raw conversation reveals exactly how it happened.In this conversation, Father Michael shares the brutal truth about male purpose, why thousands of young men are flooding into Orthodox churches, and the epidemic of directionless men seeking structure and father figures. From losing his father at 8, to his spiritual awakening at 15, to his complete breakdown at 45 - this is elder wisdom forged in fire.We explore why external validation crushes the soul, how to build genuine self-approval, and the simple daily practices that create unshakeable inner strength. Father Michael reveals his method for becoming your future self and why failure is bitter but regret is ten times worse.Whether you're 20 or 60, feeling lost or seeking deeper meaning - this conversation will challenge everything you think you know about masculine development. The journey starts with one step.🔥 READY TO STOP DRIFTING? → Take The 7-Day Reset for High-Performing Men: https://www.stumurray.com/7-day-reset Seven questions that separate the men who change from the men who stay stuck. Most won't finish it.ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHRI help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within. This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.🔺Key Timestamps :00:00 – Introduction & Father Michael’s early life03:05 – Losing his father and navigating childhood struggles06:40 – The first spiritual awakening as a teenager11:15 – Panic attacks, fear, and a turning point in faith15:50 – Discovering men’s work & the journey into mentorship21:30 – Why young men are drawn back to the Church28:45 – The deep human need for purpose and meaning35:10 – The dangers of drifting without purpose (porn, addiction, numbing out)42:20 – Approval-seeking and why men crave validation51:05 – The importance of mentorship, brotherhood, and encouragement

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2 months ago
1 hour 25 minutes 42 seconds

Stu Murray
Why I Walked Away From a Career I Loved (Without a Backup Plan)

There's a voice inside you that knows things your logical mind hasn't figured out yet. I spent 8 years ignoring mine — until my body started screaming what my intuition had been whispering all along.

This is the story of walking away from a respected career in education, not because I hated it, but because something deeper was calling. It's about the dangerous comfort of "pretty good" opportunities and why the whisper you've been ignoring might be the most important voice you'll ever hear.

Most of us have been taught to outsource our truth — to parents, systems, experts, society's definitions of success. But what happens when you finally stop asking permission and start listening to your internal compass?

If you've ever felt that quiet hum of disconnection, that sense that "this isn't quite it," this story is for you. Because the answers you're looking for? You already have them.

🔥 READY TO STOP DRIFTING?

→ Take The 7-Day Reset for High-Performing Men: https://www.stumurray.com/7-day-reset

Seven questions that separate the men who change from the men who stay stuck. Most won't finish it.

ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHR

I help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within.

This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.

🔺Key Timestamps :

00:00 – Why I walked away from an 8-year career in education

02:00 – The whisper I kept ignoring

04:45 – When 2020 changed everything

08:40 – Facing the system: compliance vs. truth

10:59 – Traveling & rediscovering my inner compass

13:01 – The retreat that changed everything

17:49 – Courage, alignment & the question for you

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2 months ago
19 minutes 52 seconds

Stu Murray
Being “Nice” Is Killing Your Relationship—Here’s the Fix

Most men think avoiding conflict keeps the peace. But what if I told you that avoiding confrontation is actually the fastest way to kill intimacy in your relationship?After years as a firefighter struggling with PTSD and nearly losing his marriage, Markwell discovered something counterintuitive: conflict isn't the enemy of connection - it's the golden pathway to deeper intimacy. The very thing we're taught to avoid is actually what our relationships need most.In this conversation, we explore why "nice guy" behavior backfires, how to transform reactive patterns into conscious responses, and practical tools for navigating difficult conversations without losing yourself or your partner.If you've ever felt disconnected in your relationship, walked on eggshells to keep the peace, or wondered why being "agreeable" isn't working - this is for you. It's time to stop avoiding the hard conversations and start using them to build the relationship you actually want.What's one conflict you've been avoiding that could actually bring you closer?🔥 READY TO STOP DRIFTING? → Take The 7-Day Reset for High-Performing Men: https://www.stumurray.com/7-day-reset Seven questions that separate the men who change from the men who stay stuck. Most won't finish it.ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHRI help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within. This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.🔺Key Timestamps :00:00 – A retreat that sparked transformation05:15 – From PTSD to the first taste of self-awareness11:40 – Discovering breathwork, meditation & men’s circles17:20 – Why men’s work begins with brotherhood23:05 – Breaking shame by speaking the unspeakable31:45 – Surrounding yourself with people who challenge your limits40:10 – Conscious confrontation: navigating conflict with truth48:20 – How relationships become mirrors for growth57:05 – The biggest mistakes men make in self-discovery01:08:30 – Final message: why community is the cure

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2 months ago
1 hour 27 minutes 44 seconds

Stu Murray
44 - 3 Simple Changes to GET HIM TALKING and Stop Shutting Down

He shuts down. You stay calm. You speak your truth—and still feel like the villain. This video unpacks why that happens, how emotional unavailability shows up, and what to do next.You’ve done everything “right.”You’re calm. You’ve thought through your words. You’re not blaming or attacking—you’re just sharing how you feel. And somehow… he still shuts down.If every attempt to connect turns into defensiveness, avoidance, or being told you’re “too emotional,” this isn’t just a communication issue—it’s a pattern. One that can leave you over-functioning, questioning your worth, and slowly losing yourself.This video will help you:Spot the hidden ways we shut down connection (even when we think we’re being vulnerable)Understand the real difference between emotional immaturity vs emotional unavailability Set grounded, clear boundaries without guilt or performanceReclaim your voice—even if it shakesWhether you’re trying to fix the loop, wondering if it’s time to walk away, or just looking for clarity… this is your wake-up call.Because love shouldn’t feel like rowing a canoe alone🔥 READY TO STOP DRIFTING? → Take The 7-Day Reset for High-Performing Men: https://www.stumurray.com/7-day-reset Seven questions that separate the men who change from the men who stay stuck. Most won't finish it.ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHRI help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within. This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.🔺Key Timestamps :00:00 - Have you ever tried to calmly express your feelings and ended up feeling like the villain? 02:17 - If he can’t hear you, that’s one thing — but if he won’t, that’s a whole different problem. 05:02 - No one can make you feel anything — those feelings are yours. 07:24 - Speak to what’s alive in you, not about what’s wrong with him. 09:30 - If your partner still won’t meet you halfway, that’s not a communication problem — that’s emotional unavailability. 11:02 - You’re in a two-person canoe, but the person next to you is sitting still… or paddling the other way. 13:39 - Effort doesn’t equal progress if you’re the only one putting it in. 14:24 - Peace that costs you your inner truth isn’t peace — it’s a performance. 19:57 - If you’re constantly editing yourself to stay acceptable, you’re not in a partnership — you’re in a performance. 22:02 - It’s okay to say ‘I love you… and I also love me.’

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2 months ago
24 minutes 34 seconds

Stu Murray
43 - I Stopped Watching Porn and This Happened to My Life W/ Nakula Das

Semen retention, porn addiction recovery, male sexual energy, lust transmutation, and magnetic masculinity—if any of those topics hit home, this video is your field manual. Inside, coach Nikolas Das breaks down exactly how practicing semen retention and non-ejaculatory sex can end the dopamine loop of endless porn, ignite testosterone, and channel raw desire into purpose-driven discipline.You’ll learn why unchecked lust hijacks focus, drains vitality, and sabotages relationships. Stay for the step-by-step method that transforms sexual energy into creative fuel, stronger workouts, deeper intimacy, and unshakable confidence. We dig into the science of prolactin and testosterone spikes, breathwork for transmuting urges, and the brotherhood accountability that turns “NoFap” from a trend into a lifestyle.Ready to swap browser tabs for a bigger mission? Hit play, then drop a comment: What one habit is bleeding your power—and what’s your next move to reclaim it?🔥 READY TO STOP DRIFTING? → Take The 7-Day Reset for High-Performing Men: https://www.stumurray.com/7-day-reset Seven questions that separate the men who change from the men who stay stuck. Most won't finish it.ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHRI help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within. This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.🔺Key Timestamps00:00 - Reclaiming power & mastering your energy03:29 - Rap dreams, weed & a car crash that woke him up08:09 - All religions agree: Lust pulls you off your path14:07 - Sexual energy drives greatness (or destroys it)22:52 - Discipline is true freedom (Cleopatra & Clinton example)30:12 - From spiritual confusion to clarity through action38:54 - Masculine polarity, magnetism & sexual confidence47:45 - Transmuting pain into purpose through retention59:17 - Retention improves focus, discipline & attraction01:13:05 - Regulating urges leads to purpose and fulfillment01:24:10 - Brotherhood and accountability aren’t optional01:34:40 - Final message: Live for something deeper

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3 months ago
1 hour 40 minutes 21 seconds

Stu Murray
42 - 5 Signs Your Relationship is DYING and How to SAVE It

You said what needed to be said—but somehow, you still feel miles apart.This video unpacks the real reason most relationships fall apart—and it’s not what you think. It’s not yelling, cheating, or even the argument itself. It’s the emotional disconnection after conflict that slowly erodes intimacy and trust.

If you’ve ever felt like you're walking on eggshells, repeating the same fight, or wondering why your partner always shuts down—this is for you.We’ll break down the Four Horsemen of communication, how to stop the cycle of emotional withdrawal, and what it actually takes to build emotional safety in relationships.

🔥 READY TO STOP DRIFTING? → Take The 7-Day Reset for High-Performing Men: https://www.stumurray.com/7-day-reset

Seven questions that separate the men who change from the men who stay stuck. Most won't finish it.

ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHR

I help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within. This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.

🔺Key Timestamps

00:00 - The Real Danger in Relationships

04:03 - Conflict Isn’t the Problem, Emotional Safety Is

06:10 - The 4 Relationship Killers (Gottman’s Horsemen)

11:02 - How to Bring Up Tough Conversations Without Drama

15:20 - What to Do When You’re the Defensive One

22:37 - A Weekly Ritual That Could Save Your Relationship

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3 months ago
27 minutes 7 seconds

Stu Murray
40 - The Dark Side of Looksmaxxing: Why It's Breaking So Many Men

What if the glow-up you’re chasing is actually masking your deepest wound?

Looksmaxxing promises power—but delivers pressure, shame, and identity collapse. In this video, we expose what’s really behind the obsession with facial symmetry and “Chad status.” It's not vanity. It’s a survival strategy born from disconnection and despair.

Before you optimize another inch of your jawline—ask yourself: Who taught you that your face defines your worth?

💬 Have you ever felt invisible no matter how hard you try to "improve"? Comment below.

🔥 TAKE THE NEXT STEP→ Join the Brothrhood (Men's Community): https://www.brothr.life/brothrhood The arena where men break through performance and build lives of authentic power.

📘 NOT READY YET?→ Get the Free Becoming Blueprint: https://www.brothr.life/your-blueprint A roadmap to reconnect with your purpose and break free from hollow achievement.

ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHR

I help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within.

This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.

🔺Key Timestamps

00:00 – The Looksmaxing Trap Begins

01:03 – It's Not About Health Anymore

03:09 – This Is Deeper Than Confidence

06:09 – Reclaiming Your Self-Worth

10:02 – Become a Man Who Stands for Something

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3 months ago
11 minutes 30 seconds

Stu Murray
41 - The #1 Relationship Mistake That's KILLING Your Love Life

We don’t shut down because we don’t care. We shut down because we don’t feel safe.This isn’t just a “man thing” — it’s a human thing. In this episode, we explore the subtle, often unseen patterns that cause us to pull away from the people we love most. From unspoken fears to survival strategies masked as silence, this conversation unpacks what’s really happening beneath emotional disconnection.If you’ve ever felt confused by your partner’s withdrawal — or your own — this may help you name the thing beneath the thing.🔥 READY TO STOP DRIFTING? → Take The 7-Day Reset for High-Performing Men: https://www.stumurray.com/7-day-reset Seven questions that separate the men who change from the men who stay stuck. Most won't finish it.ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHRI help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within. This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.🔺Key Timestamps00:00 - Introduction & Why This Conversation Matters 04:29 - Wounds Are Created in Relationships – So Is Healing 07:21 - The Victim Identity & Its Hidden Costs 10:01 - Choosing to Heal: Safety, Inner Work & Frustration 16:14 - The Power of Self-Responsibility & Training the Mind 27:00 - Parenting Your Inner Child & Rewriting Your Story 30:00 - Healing From Trauma & Reclaiming Connection 32:11 - Anger, Feminism & the Need for Balance 35:20 - What Feminism Got Right — And Missed 38:09 - Unsafe Masculinity, Nervous Systems & Walls 44:20 - Why Motherhood is Still Undervalued 47:09 - Creating Safe Masculine Structures for Feminine Softness 50:07 - The River & The Banks: Structure, Flow & Harmony 53:00 - Heart-Centered Advice to Women Holding Anger 55:15 - You Must Heal In Relationship – But It Starts With You 57:10 - From Walls to Bridges: Receiving Love Again 01:00:00 - Brotherhood, Vulnerability & Witnessing the Real You 01:06:14 - Closing Reflections: Healing is a Shared Journey

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3 months ago
1 hour 44 minutes 54 seconds

Stu Murray
39 - The Real Reason “Nice Guys” Stay Stuck (And What It Costs You) w/ Dr. Robert Glover

You were told being a good man would lead to love, respect, and connection. But if you're honest, all it's brought is resentment, rejection, and feeling like you're never enough.

In this raw conversation with Dr. Robert Glover, we expose the hidden patterns sabotaging high-performing men—especially the covert contracts silently destroying your relationships, sex life, and self-respect.

This isn't about blame. It's about ownership. It's about reclaiming the parts of you you've buried beneath performance and perfection.

Connect with Dr. Robert Glover:Website: https://www.drglover.com/Integration Nation: https://integrationnation.net/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drgloverofficial

🔥 TAKE THE NEXT STEP→ Join the Brothrhood (Men's Community): https://www.brothr.life/brothrhood

The arena where men break through performance and build lives of authentic power.

📘 NOT READY YET?→ Get the Free Becoming Blueprint: https://www.brothr.life/your-blueprint

A roadmap to reconnect with your purpose and break free from hollow achievement.

ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHR

I help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within. This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.Men who join us report deeper connections, clearer purpose, and the courage to lead from truth within 30 days.

Connect with me: https://www.instagram.com/iamstumurray/ | www.stumurray.com

🔺Key Timestamps

00:02:22 – The crisis that sparked No More Mr. Nice Guy

00:06:30 – Why “nice guys” always finish last in relationships

00:19:29 – Resentment in relationships and the root cause

00:23:07 – “Unexpressed expectations are premeditated resentments”

00:30:13 – Why Nice Guys suck at receiving love and support

00:34:48 – Seeking mommy’s approval vs masculine initiation

00:42:09 – The myth of the lone wolf & male isolation epidemic

00:50:04 – Why Dr. Glover went all-in on helping men at 69

01:08:09 – The ineffable feeling of being seen by other men

01:12:23 – Where to find Dr. Glover & closing thoughts on men’s work

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4 months ago
1 hour 13 minutes 30 seconds

Stu Murray
38 - The #1 Mistake Men Make Trying to ‘Keep the Peace’ in Relationships

You think you're being the calm one. The grounded one. But avoiding hard conversations doesn’t preserve peace—it breeds quiet resentment and kills intimacy.

This video unpacks the hidden cost of emotional avoidance and redefines masculine leadership as the courage to face tension, not flee from it.

If you've ever felt like you're doing everything right—but still losing connection—this one’s for you.

🔥 TAKE THE NEXT STEP→

Join the Brothrhood (Men's Community): https://www.brothr.life/brothrhood

The arena where men break through performance and build lives of authentic power.

📘 NOT READY YET?→

Get the Free Becoming Blueprint: https://www.brothr.life/your-blueprint

A roadmap to reconnect with your purpose and break free from hollow achievement.

ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHR

I help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within.

This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.Men who join us report deeper connections, clearer purpose, and the courage to lead from truth within 30 days.

Connect with me: https://www.instagram.com/iamstumurray/ | www.stumurray.com

🔺Key Timestamps

00:00 – The Silent Struggle Men Face in Relationships

00:38 – How Silence Kills Connection

01:48 – When Everything Looks Fine, But Feels Dead

02:34 – The Real Reason She Feels Distant

03:32 – The Secret to Rebuilding Trust and Intimacy

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4 months ago
5 minutes 3 seconds

Stu Murray
37 - The hidden pain men carry AND WHY SILENCE ISN'T STRENGTH

There’s a silence most men carry—one shaped by shame, trauma, and a world that taught us to armor up instead of open up.In this raw and revelatory conversation, Dr. Gary Barker unpacks the unspoken pain men inherit and the quiet crisis of emotional disconnection shaping modern masculinity. From war zones to boardrooms, he’s seen the same wounds… and the same potential for healing.What if the strength we’ve been chasing is actually found in care?

🔥 TAKE THE NEXT STEP

→ Join the Brothrhood (Men's Community): https://www.brothr.life/brothrhood The arena where men break through performance and build lives of authentic power.

📘 NOT READY YET?

→ Get the Free Becoming Blueprint: https://www.brothr.life/your-blueprint A roadmap to reconnect with your purpose and break free from hollow achievement.

ABOUT STU MURRAY & BROTHR

I help high-performing men break free from the performance prison that's left them successful on the outside but hollow within. This channel is your roadmap from isolation to brotherhood, from achievement to fulfillment, from doing to being.Men who join us report deeper connections, clearer purpose, and the courage to lead from truth within 30 days.

Connect with me: https://www.instagram.com/iamstumurray/ | www.stumurray.com

🔺Key Timestamps

00:00 – Intro to Masculinity and Gender Justice

00:42 – Meet Dr. Gary Barker – His Mission and Work

01:40 – What Inspired Gary to Work with Men & Masculinity

03:30 – The Culture of Silence Around Male Violence

05:15 – Feminist Movement in Latin America Called Men In

07:20 – Trauma in Boys: Childhood to Adulthood

09:10 – Violence Clothesline Exercise (Powerful Story)

10:40 – Why Men Don’t Talk About Their Pain

12:00 – Men’s Circles: Creating Safe Spaces

14:00 – Fatherhood & The Curious Inner Child

16:00 – Trauma Expression: Men vs Women

18:20 – Every Violent Man Was Once a Victim

20:30 – Group Healing Over Punishment

23:30 – Brazilian School Tribe Conflict Resolution

25:00 – Building Emotional Vocabulary for Men

28:10 – Getting Stuck in the Trauma Loop

30:30 – Self-Improvement Isn't a Solo Game

33:20 – Male Grit: Showing Up for the Tribe

35:10 – Stoicism & The “Work on Myself” Trap

38:00 – Young Men and the Pressure to Be Perfect

41:00 – Calling Men In, Not Just Calling Them Out

44:00 – The Disconnected Digital Manhood Crisis

46:30 – Incel Communities and Dangerous Isolation

49:30 – Fear of Rejection, Fear of Being Called Out

51:00 – Gym, Screens, and Loneliness in Young Men

53:00 – TV Series 'Adolescence' and Real-World Impact

56:00 – What is Mature Masculinity?

58:20 – “Exercise Your Care Muscles” – Final Message

01:00:30 – What Gives Dr. Gary Barker Hope

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4 months ago
1 hour 3 minutes 39 seconds

Stu Murray
Become the man your family chooses to follow and you respect when you're alone. I'm Stu Murray, a men's leadership coach focused on relationship transformation. This podcast supports your journey with honest conversations about authentic leadership, relationship transformation, and what it takes to stop performing and start being real. Topics include: Relationship dynamics, masculine leadership, purpose, self-trust, and becoming a man worth following. You're the one doing the work. I'm here to help you see what's possible. New episodes weekly.