Connecting U Podcast Season 6, Episode 1
We're back from our break! This episode features an introduction to therapy, addressing common fears and misconceptions, setting goals in therapy, and the importance of choosing the right therapist. Mayra also reflects on her 15-year therapy journey, emphasizing continuous self-improvement and adapting to life's seasons. Practical advice is given on how to find the right therapeutic fit and the value of therapy even when not in crisis.
00:00 Welcome to Season 6!
00:22 Exciting Family News
01:31 Therapists Have Anxieties Too
01:56 Understanding the Goal of Therapy
03:03 Personal Therapy Journey
06:33 The Importance of Continuous Therapy
14:47 Finding the Right Therapist
19:50 Signs of a Good Fit
26:51 Celebrating Small Wins in Therapy
28:22 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
28:35 Closing Prayer and Blessings
Mayra and Emily delve into tough life topics, focusing on how suppressed emotions like sadness and grief can manifest as anger. Sharing personal and client experiences, they discuss how anger can show up quietly, the importance of recognizing underlying issues, and methods for emotional regulation. Emphasizing mindfulness and restoration, they provide insight into coping with anger in a healthy way. They conclude with a hopeful message and a prayer for those facing life's struggles.
Mayra and Emily explore the complex realities of single parenting. They address the unexpected transitions that lead to single parenthood, such as divorce or widowhood, and emphasize the emotional and logistical challenges involved. Through personal anecdotes and broader reflections, they discuss the importance of redefining expectations and finding strength in the midst of adversity.
They highlight the misconceptions and stigmas surrounding single parents and the necessity of self-acceptance & emotional honesty. The episode concludes with encouragement for single parents to view their value and capability as sufficient. Everyone, regardless of marital status, needs community and support.
Mayra and Emily engage in a deep discussion on the complexities of divorce, sharing personal insights and professional observations. They explore how unaddressed grievances can lead to bitterness and the reasons why couples often struggle to communicate early on. They discuss the societal pressures and misinterpretations surrounding marriage and divorce, emphasizing that marriage is not a measure of success or failure but a covenant meant to humble and sanctify one's life.
The conversation covers the importance of understanding and addressing one's own role and healing needs in the relationship, as well as the consequences of ignoring red flags during dating. The episode concludes with a reflection on the healing process post-divorce and a prayer offering comfort and hope to those facing difficult times.
Mayra and Emily dive into the topic of addiction in the Hard Truths season of the Connecting U Podcast. They explore the complexities of addiction beyond drug and alcohol dependence, including social media, work, and other behaviors. Mayra, with her counseling experience, shares insights on how addiction often stems from deep-seated traumas such as emotional neglect, abandonment, or other forms of hurt.
They stress the importance of compassion & recognizing addiction as a symptom of a larger issue. The conversation highlights the significance of saying 'no' to harmful habits while focusing on positive goals, attending appropriate therapy programs, and the necessity of community support. They also discuss the critical steps toward recovery, including honest self-assessment and humility. Ultimately, this episode emphasizes that the goal is not just sobriety but holistic healing, fostering healthier relationships and personal well-being.
Season 5 of the Connecting U Podcast focuses on hard truths in life. Episode 1 discusses the realities of grief & loss.
How can we wait productively for the big things in life?
Mayra & Emily discuss the power of waiting well for what’s best for you. They talk about the intuition and conviction behind patience, particularly waiting on the Lord during difficult seasons. “Patience is the posture of the heart while you wait.” This includes being hopeful while single, getting back up after being discouraged, and believing that the plans for your life will be good. Ask yourself what is underneath the desires that you have & what is driving the questions that you are asking. Wait until the person in front of you aligns with those underlying needs, don’t settle at the first sign of something similar to it. Maintain your sense of identity & worth in the waiting so you are ready when your person arrives in your life; Avoid the trap of comparing yourself to someone else’s journey! Wait with your whole being, grieve when it doesn’t come, but focus on the morning that’s coming.
00:36 Personal Journey of Waiting
01:53 Biblical Perspectives on Waiting
04:38 Patience and Intuition in Waiting
06:02 Maintaining Hope and Faith
08:18 Practical Advice for Singles
13:33 The Role of Comparison and Social Pressure
16:57 Knowing When the Wait is Over
Tune in to Season 4: SINGLE & DATING for relatable conversations with Mayra, a licensed therapist, and Emily, who holds a bachelor’s in Psychology from Harvard. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ and @ ConnectingUPodcast on IG. YOUTUBE: Connecting U Podcast
The dating season is a learning season. Expect to be nervous if you really like this person. Going on dates is the prospect that your whole life could change after meeting this person. In a dating season, you should expect rejection & learn to push through it. Every ‘no’ gets you one step closer to your ‘yes.’
Feeling hopeless is normal when you really want something to work out, and it doesn’t. Rely on friends who can remind you that even if this specific person wasn’t for you, that doesn’t mean there’s not going to be somebody for you in the future. Everybody’s story is different. Don’t make someone else’s story into the expectation of what your reality should be.
Don’t compromise your expectations just because you haven’t found someone yet. If you expect kindness, patience, and dedication from yourself, then you should be able to expect it in a partner. Take it one date at a time, and expect that it takes time to get to know someone. Say the things that matter to you out loud, remind yourself of them in times of hopelessness, and expect that they are out there waiting for you. The only person who has to expect your non-negotiables is you.
Tune in to Season 4: SINGLE & DATING for relatable conversations with Mayra, a licensed therapist, and Emily, who holds a bachelor’s in Psychology from Harvard. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ and @ ConnectingUPodcast on IG. YOUTUBE: Connecting U Podcast
In this episode of Single & Dating, Emily & Mayra discuss healthy expectations in dating. Expect good conversations on dates, expect to be treated well, regardless of whether or not the date goes well, and don’t settle for less. Look for effort, intentionality, and showing you that the date is a priority. Expect there to be a directness in dating; When someone likes you, they should be willing to tell you upfront, willing to risk the vulnerability of telling you, and ultimately free you from the confusion that you would otherwise feel. Expect dating the right person to be fun, refreshing, and to bring you a level of peace.
Give people the freedom to show you who they are, and believe what they tell you, even if it’s not what you wanted to hear. Think about what you want in the long-haul, and whether this person fits into and supports your dream for the future. Otherwise, you could end up shifting your life for this person, rather than waiting to find someone who wants the same things. Expect that who they are right now is going to be who they are for the rest of your life, unless they are already showing you the specific ways that they are growing and changing. Act based on what they are saying right now, not based on what you expect will change in the future. Do not expect anyone to change for you. Know what you want, stand by it, and expect that it’s out there waiting for you.
Tune in to Season 4: SINGLE & DATING for relatable conversations with Mayra, a licensed therapist, and Emily, who holds a bachelor’s in Psychology from Harvard. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ and @ RemainConnected on IG. TikTok @ ConnectingUPodcast. YOUTUBE: Connecting U Podcast
Mayra & Emily take a deep dive into the core beliefs that create negative or abusive dating experiences, such as shame, guilt, and fear of abandonment. Steps towards healing involve relying on your support group, going to therapy, and taking small steps every day to rewire your beliefs. You are capable of working on yourself, loving yourself, and believing you are worthy REGARDLESS of how you have been treated in the past.
Tune in to Season 4: SINGLE & DATING for relatable conversations with Mayra, a licensed therapist, and Emily, who holds a bachelor’s in Psychology from Harvard. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ and @ RemainConnected on IG. TikTok @ ConnectingUPodcast. YOUTUBE: Connecting U Podcast
You need to be honest with yourself about prioritizing dating. Sometimes, there is no room in your life to pursue dating at this time. Other times, you might be avoiding dating out of fear by saying that you are too busy, or you are afraid of getting hurt.
Are you not dating because you don’t have time OR because you are afraid to actually make the effort and possibly fail? Trust that the timing will work itself out with the right person— You may not have met someone yet because you (or they) are not ready.
Date when you are ready to 1) Show up as yourself, and 2) Reject someone after you see red flags. Don’t expect someone to change once you start dating, or after you get married, or after you have kids. Dating is an interview! As you start dating, you need to get to know yourself and be able to answer why you want a partner in the first place.
Questions to ask yourself before you start dating:
1. Do I genuinely have time?
2. Am I afraid of dating?
3. What behaviors am I unwilling to accept?
Tune in to Season 4: SINGLE & DATING of the Connecting U Podcast for practical discussions. Subscribe to remain connected to God, yourself, and others. Follow us on IG and FB @ RemainConnected. TikTok @ ConnectingUPodcast. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ on IG.
Connecting U: Friendship in College
Originally from Azerbaijan, Ibrahim is the founder of the Brooklyn Education Network and was Emily’s roommate at Harvard College. Ibrahim grew up with mixed messages on the meaning of friendship and what place friends should hold in your life. He talks about the experience of making friends when he moved to the United States in 4th grade, when he didn’t speak English. He discusses the change from school to adulthood, and deciding how to prioritize friendship in his life. Emily and Ibrahim met when they were signed up to live together at Harvard, and they had many arguments due to cultural differences. Expect friendships to change as you get to know yourself more, and show empathy when people’s lifestyle makes it difficult to continue being friends.
Key Takeaways:
As an adult, Ibrahim focuses on maintaining friends who share his lifestyle.
The lifestyle you intentionally choose after college will affect who you want to be friends with. Ibrahim thinks a healthy life and being happy within yourself helps lead you to healthy friendships.
Conflict in the dorm was very confrontational, but we had to practice empathy because we lived together. You can’t avoid your roommates!
Learning how to communicate with people who have different perspectives is going to be a valuable skill. Emily communicated to Ibrahim that she had good intentions behind their conflict, and this helped Ibrahim take the situation less personally.
Ibrahim had to grow a lot after moving to an area with people who had different opinions. He says learning to be flexible and view people with a softer, less defensive stance changed his life.
Proverbs 27:9 “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.”
Tune in to Season 3: Friendships of the Connecting U Podcast for insightful discussions and practical advice on making meaningful friends. Subscribe to remain connected to God, yourself, and others. Follow us on IG and FB @ RemainConnected. TikTok @ ConnectingUPodcast. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ on IG.
Connecting U: Jealousy in Friendship
Everyone feels jealousy at some point, which is the feeling of envy due to comparison. Jealousy can be sneaky, so pay attention to when it is robbing you of joy. Some people express jealousy through rage, fear, humiliation, or other expressions. Sometimes we romanticize what others have, and we forget there are things that we don’t know about that person’s life. Jealousy indicates where your heart is. If you can shift your energy regarding jealousy, you can learn to cheer on others. Be happy for those who have good things that you don’t have, because you will want others to cheer you on when good things happen for you!
Things To Think About:
You are usually jealous of the things that you complain about.
Jealousy is okay to feel in passing, but where is your heart at?
Do you believe that God is giving you enough?
Are you willing to make the changes necessary to live the kind of life you dream of?
Show compassion when your friends are going through something difficult, but you are in a season full of gifts.
Steps to Process Jealousy:
What do you think their success is saying about you?
Because they have something I want, do I think I am lesser?
Meditate on your core beliefs with yourself or a counselor.
Feel the pain of whatever your core belief is centered around, whether that is the fear of being incapable, unheard, disappointing others, etc.
Validate the feeling, stay there for a few minutes, and then think about your truth.
How do you actually want to show up in the world? Can you cheer on the person who you were jealous of?
Proverbs 27:9 “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.”
Tune in to Season 3: Friendships of the Connecting U Podcast for insightful discussions and practical advice on making meaningful friends. Subscribe to remain connected to God, yourself, and others. Follow us on IG and FB @ RemainConnected. TikTok @ ConnectingUPodcast. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ on IG.
Connecting U: To Conflict & Forgiveness in Friendships
Mayra and Emily dive into how to resolve conflict within friendships. You have a responsibility to tell your friends what is bothering you if you want to protect the friendship over time. Conflict is the tipping point of connection, because you are better known and accepted in a vulnerable place. This creates a strong bond and a strong friendship. If you feel like you can’t be yourself around that friend, this is a major sign of conflict that you need to communicate after processing with yourself. Bringing up hard topics create a deeper connection that stands the test of time.
Key Takeaways:
Proverbs 27:9 “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.”
Tune in to Season 3: Friendships of the Connecting U Podcast for insightful discussions and practical advice on making meaningful friends. Subscribe to remain connected to God, yourself, and others. Follow us on IG and FB @ RemainConnected. TikTok @ ConnectingUPodcast. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ on IG.
Connecting U: To Friendship
Summary: We welcomed Christina Hensley, Mayra’s best friend, for a discussion on how and when to invest in friendships. You will encounter many different levels of friendship in life, and they will be good for different things. How you define friendships can show you things about yourself, such as trust issues and communication styles. Understanding what season you are in can help you realize the kind of friendships that you need. Some people are in need of encouragement, others are in need of fun, others need hard-hitting questions.
“You have to decide what you want to invest in, because it’s going to return and either hurt you or heal you!”
Key takeaways:
Things to think about:
Tune in to Season 3: Friendships of the Connecting U Podcast for insightful discussions and practical advice on making meaningful friends. Subscribe to remain connected to God, yourself, and others. Follow us on IG and FB @ RemainConnected. TikTok @ ConnectingUPodcast. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ on IG.
Connecting U: To Friendship
Friendship can mean something so different depending on your personality. Some people ‘collect’ those who are introverts, go-with-the-flow, safe, or any kind of friend depending on their needs and perspective. Tune in to hear Mayra’s best friend, Christina Hensley, and our take on friendships!
Key Takeaways:
Practical Tools & Questions for Making Friends:
Tune in to Season 3: Friendships of Connecting U for insightful discussions and practical advice on making meaningful friends. Subscribe to remain connected to God, yourself, and others. Follow us on IG and FB @ RemainConnected. TikTok @ ConnectingUPodcast. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ on IG.
Connecting U: Anxiety in Dads
Today, we welcomed Mayra’s husband, Gavin, to tell us about his experience with two young daughters. Dads experience anxiety when things are out of their control, especially when they feel like no one in the family is hearing them. Becoming part of a family unit can give them more to worry about than they were used to before. Gavin navigates anxiety by taking a step back and asking himself whether the outcome he is worried about is actually high-stakes.
Moms and dads are often viewed with different responsibilities and relationships towards their kids, where dads can be seen as more aggressive or distracted. The marital relationship is so important as a space to be heard and increase connection, regardless of what society thinks men are supposed to be. Healthy and open conversations can open up parent’s minds to roles that are different from what was modeled for them as kids.
Key Takeaways:
Ask yourself, “Does it really matter?” before lashing out in moments of anxiety. Remind yourself that, even though this moment is chaotic, isn’t it great that you have a family you dreamed of?
Is my response as a dad going to damage or strengthen the connection with my kids?
Even dads can wish that they didn’t feel so anxious about the little things.
It’s more than okay for dads to ask for advice from their dad friends.
Have a conversation about your expectations for parenting roles before getting married.
Tune in to Season 2: Anxiety of Connecting U for insightful discussions and practical advice on grounding yourself in self-awareness and surrender.
Every episode ends with a Bible verse and prayer for our listeners. Subscribe to remain connected to God, yourself, and others. Follow us on IG and FB @ RemainConnected. TikTok @ ConnectingUPodcast. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ on IG.
Connecting U: Anxiety in Moms
Season 2 of the Connecting U Podcast focuses on anxiety. Mayra and Emily dive into relatable stories and advice for those struggling with anxiety.
The journey of motherhood can begin with an overwhelming realization of responsibility for another human being. People have a lot of advice for mothers on what to do, what not to do, and how they should be as a mother. This noise can cause anxiety by listening to people who don’t have your life. Postpartum anxiety manifests as not eating, not sleeping, constant worry about your baby’s wellbeing, and so much more.
It can feel like nothing you are doing is good enough. It’s freeing to look at your life with creativity, in terms of creating a life you love with your family. Don’t miss the little moments with your kids because you are terrified that you aren’t following the correct plan. You can’t control everything, especially when your life looks different than what you expected. It’s okay to spend time on yourself as a person, not just as a mother.
Key Takeaways:
Moms can try to mask anxiety with whatever books, Facebook groups, or class told them.
You can’t live based on the “one time” that a bad thing happened to someone else’s child on the Internet.
Listen to the Holy Spirit and ask what will work for your life and your kids.
You were entrusted with this baby, so you have to trust yourself too. You are the best mama to your baby… you are the only one they have!
Your life is supposed to work for you, based on your circumstances, not based on what works for someone else’s family. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.
Tune in to Season 2: Anxiety of Connecting U for insightful discussions and practical advice on grounding yourself in self-awareness and surrender.
Every episode ends with a Bible verse and prayer for our listeners. Subscribe to remain connected to God, yourself, and others. Follow us on IG and FB @ RemainConnected. TikTok @ ConnectingUPodcast. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ on IG.
Connecting U: Anxiety in your 20s
Season 2 of the Connecting U Podcast focuses on anxiety. Mayra and Emily dive into relatable stories and advice for those struggling with anxiety.
Summary:
Join Mayra and Emily as they discuss what anxiety looks like in your 20s. People in their 20s can find anxiety in the uncertainty of life. They have so many options and so much time that it can be overwhelming. They can feel like they aren’t good enough no matter what they choose.
It’s important to differentiate your own fears and anxieties from the ones that people place onto you. Remind yourself that you are not a failure because you aren’t measuring up to other people’s version of success. Don’t let the fear of loneliness or disappointment stop you from creating the life that you dream about.
Be okay with not knowing everything, be okay with not being liked by everyone, and know that not everyone will like your life. It’s painful, but you have no other choice. When you sit with the uncomfortable, you will find out who you are.
Key takeaways:
Practice reminding yourself that you’re okay right where you are. This can be through journaling, dancing, singing in the car, or whatever makes you feel present in the moment. Whatever the method, you have to find a way to get the anxiety out, so you know the thoughts that are bombarding you are not true.
You should not allow yourself to be defined by a life that you didn’t choose for yourself. Everyone has to find their own path regardless of the fear of disappointing anyone.
Sit uncomfortably with your anxiety, no matter how difficult this feels, in order to find out who you are.
You can’t gain the feeling of fulfillment by reaching for short-term distractions, like alcohol or doom scrolling.
Accept and own that what other people think is not your responsibility or within your control.
Tune in to Season 2: Anxiety of Connecting U for insightful discussions and practical advice on grounding yourself in self-awareness and surrender.
Every episode ends with a Bible verse and prayer for our listeners. Subscribe to remain connected to God, yourself, and others. Follow us on IG and FB @ RemainConnected. TikTok @ ConnectingUPodcast. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ on IG.
Connecting U: Anxiety Series
Season 2 of the Connecting U Podcast focuses on anxiety. Mayra and Emily dive into relatable stories and advice for those struggling with anxiety.
Summary:
Join Emily and the first Connecting U Guest, Danielle Flint, as they discuss what anxiety looks like in teenagers. Danielle is a licensed therapist at Remain Connected Counseling.
Anxiety makes us overestimate how bad something is going to be, and underestimate our ability to deal with it. Kids and teens can feel the same anxiety in terms of fear, feeling stuck, and tension in the body.
In early relationships, kids are trying to decide whether they are safe with you and whether they seem “good enough” for you. Danielle starts with an overview of secure, avoidant, and anxious attachment in babies, as well as how this can play out later in life. Different parenting styles and life circumstances tend to result in certain attachment styles. Between 40 and 70% of children are securely attached, depending on the study.
Danielle’s final message for those who struggle with anxiety: When you are confident in your relationship with yourself, there’s room for mistakes and empathy for yourself and others. Give yourself space to be imperfect. Find a way to start caring for yourself, and it’s okay if it feels overwhelming at first.
Key Takeaways:
You do not have to be a perfect parent for your kid to form secure attachment.
Teens may internalize behavior, such as negative self-talk, or externalize behavior, with sitting on their phones and acting out, in order to cope with anxiety.
Social media and news outlets can be a source of anxiety and overstimulation for teenagers due to comparison and extreme self-awareness.
Young women with social media can fall into a comparison trap, but your worth is so much more than your appearance.
Tune in to Season 2: Anxiety of Connecting U for insightful discussions and practical advice on grounding yourself in self-awareness and surrender.
Every episode ends with a Bible verse and prayer for our listeners. Subscribe to remain connected to God, yourself, and others. Follow us on IG and FB @ RemainConnected. TikTok @ ConnectingUPodcast. Hosts are @ Em.Robinsonnn and @ Mayra_Richards_ on IG.