In this episode, I dive into the whole messy idea of toxic empathy—yep, that thing we do when caring for others turns into completely abandoning ourselves. I’ll share some of my own experiences (because let’s be real, I’ve done this more than once), and unpack how empathy crosses the line from compassion into self-sacrifice. We’ll talk boundaries, what it really means to hold space without losing yourself in the process, and some practical ways to shift from toxic empathy into a healthier, more empowered version. By the end, you’ll be reflecting on your own patterns and hopefully realising that it’s possible to care deeply about others without constantly putting yourself last.
takeaways
If you laughed, nodded, or swore under your breath while listening, that’s a 5-star kind of vibe. Leave a review :)
In this episode, I dive into the messy themes of shame and blame that come with separation and divorce, sharing my own experiences and the insights I’ve pulled from them. I talk about how those feelings mess with your sense of self, the way we take on too much responsibility during and after a relationship, and why boundaries are non-negotiable. I get real about the struggle of dealing with society’s judgments, and why self-validation has to come first. At the heart of it, this episode is a call to power—owning your worth, shaking off the “shoulds,” and stepping into who you really are, beyond what anyone else thinks.
00:00
Kicking Off: Shame, Blame, and the Divorce Rollercoaster 🎢
03:45
My Story: The Hidden Cost of Playing the “Good Ex-Wife” 🙃
06:48
Truth Bombs: Relationship Dynamics and Owning Your Part 💥
10:01
Identity Crisis: How Shame and Blame Mess With Your Head 🌀
12:50
Money, Emotions, and Carrying Too Much Damn Weight 💸
15:41
Co-Parenting Chaos: Keeping It Together (Most Days) 👩👧👦
19:00
Boundaries 101: Why “No” Is a Full Sentence 🚫
21:47
Society’s Side-Eye: Screw the Pressure to Conform 👀
24:52
Self-Validation: Finding Your Own Damn Stamp of Approval ✅
27:56
Closing Thoughts: Owning Your Truth and Moving the Hell Forward ⚔️
That’s a wrap on this episode. I hope it gave you a little clarity, a little courage, and maybe even a laugh at the madness of it all. If you took something from it, share it with a friend who needs to hear they’re not alone. Until next time, own your truth and keep moving forward.
Nicky XX
In this episode, I’m spilling the tea on my own journey of growth and transformation after one of those “life just smacked me in the face” kind of changes. I’ll share the messy bits of my healing (yep, the ones we’d all rather hide), how I had to get brutally honest with myself, and the surprising way I found my way back to passion and purpose.
We’ll talk about why self-worth is non-negotiable, how community can hold you up when you’re done pretending to have it all together, and why telling the real story (not the Instagram highlight reel) is where the magic happens.
Most importantly, I’ll remind you that trusting yourself and choosing growth over survival is the difference between existing and actually living. And of course, I’ll let you in on what’s next for this podcast and the coaching work I’m here to do.
So buckle up—this one’s raw, real, and maybe the permission slip you’ve been waiting for.
00:00 – Why I’m Bringing This Podcast Back (and What’s Different This Time)
02:40 – The Plot Twists That Changed Everything
05:38 – How I Found My Spark Again (Spoiler: It Wasn’t Pretty)
09:42 – Mirror, Mirror: The Truth Self-Reflection Showed Me
12:57 – Trauma, Tantrums, and Turning It Into Power
16:36 – Finally Learning to Love the Woman in the Mirror
20:27 – The Retreat That Flipped My Whole Identity on Its Head
24:50 – Owning My Shit and Discovering What I’m Really Made Of
30:11 – Boundaries: AKA My New Superpower
33:47 – Gratitude, Growth, and a Glimpse at What’s Next
www.nickyveenvliet.com
Bali Retreat application: https://forms.gle/Vhtzavd6mUxXCTmA7
In this episode I talk to the importance of self-love and personal development, fitness and wellbeing from a place of self-worth rather than punishment. Sharing insights from my current 21-day reset challenge, highlighting the significance of mindset, self-talk, and the power of language in shaping our experiences. I share the difference between self-worth and self-esteem, offering practical tips for you, the listeners a new perspective on self-esteem and overall well-being. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to embrace their journey of self-improvement and celebrate their small wins.
takeaways
Invest in yourself from a place of self-love.
Self-development should come from a place of deserving, not punishment.
Mindset and self-talk are crucial in personal growth. Self-worth is your measure against yourself; self-esteem is against others.
Language shapes our reality; changing our language can change our mindset.
Celebrate small wins to build momentum in self-improvement.
Gratitude can shift your perspective and improve your mood.
You are innately worthy and valuable, regardless of external validation.
Personal development is about embodying the work, not just ticking boxes.
You have the power to choose what works for you in your journey. Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Self-Love and Gym Culture
06:42Mindset and Personal Leadership
13:03Breaking Habits and Finding Alternatives
18:38Self-Love vs. Self-Hate
26:47The Importance of Feeling Good
35:21Self-Leadership and Personal Responsibility
46:29Practicing Gratitude and Celebrating Wins www.nickyveenvliet.com
Summary
In this episode, I reflect on personal growth and what it means to take 100% responsibility for your life. Diving into the concept of accountability versus blame, how shifting from a victim mindset to one of empowerment can lead to transformative changes and how you always have a choice in any situation.
I share practical, how to steps to help you reclaim your power and take charge of your life.
"Blame is really un-fucking-helpful."
"Shift from blame to opportunity."
"You have a choice in every situation."
Remember:
life is happening for you, not to you.
Chapters
00:00 Welcome Back and Personal Reflections
06:25 Taking Responsibility for Your Life
11:51 The Power of Personal Accountability
19:10 Shifting from Blame to Opportunity
26:27 Taking Back Personal Responsibility
35:40 Shifting from Blame to Accountability
41:20 Impact of Accountability on Relationships
47:08 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth
In this episode of the Warrior to Warrior podcast, Nicky shares her journey of self-discovery and personal growth after taking a three-month break for self-care.
She emphasises the importance of authenticity, setting boundaries, and recognising limiting beliefs. Nicky discusses the nuances of self-love versus self-respect and the significance of conflict in creating deeper connections.
Through her experiences, she encourages listeners to challenge their beliefs, embrace their emotions, and prioritise their well-being, delving into the importance of self-care, self-respect, and personal growth.
She emphasise's the need for women to treat themselves with the same care they would give to a golden goose, highlighting the issue with the "fill your own cup" message given to many Women. The discussion transitions into navigating the liminal space of personal growth, addressing the challenges faced when the fight for survival is over, and the importance of deep listening in relationships.
She also touches on the impact of judgment and the necessity of walking your own path at your own pace, encouraging listeners to embrace their individuality and self-worth.
ENJOY !!!
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflection
02:45 The Importance of Self-Care
05:50 Authenticity and Boundaries
09:05 Conflict and Connection
11:49 Lessons from Limiting Beliefs
15:05 Alignment vs. Excuses
17:46 Self-Gaslighting and Emotional Pain
21:13 Self-Love vs. Self-Respect
34:37 The Golden Goose: Self-Care and Respect
36:31 Filling Your Own Cup: The Overflow Concept
40:30 Navigating the Liminal Space: Transitioning to a New Self
43:43 What Happens When the Fight is Over?
49:22 The Power of Being Heard: Deep Listening
54:51 Judgment and Self-Respect: Understanding Choices
01:00:15 Walking Your Own Path: Embracing Individuality
Links:
Communication tool kit FREE
https://www.nickyveenvliet.com/become-an-exceptional-listener
Worrier to Warrior Framework Bundle $27
https://www.gofromworriertowarrior.com/framework-bundle
FREE Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/gofromworriertowarrior
Why is he so defensive? How do step into my feminine without being seen as weak and what if I'm sick of being told I'm too masculine??
Ladies, Listen up! (and men too if you're smart and want a deeper insight into your Woman)
In this episode I unpack the various elements of the code of human behaviour focusing in particular in the Masculine & feminine energetics, polarity, the differences in our brain and how to tap into your own Feminine AND masculine power!!
Enjoy! Here is the communication link that I refer to xx
https://www.nickyveenvliet.com/become-an-exceptional-listener
In this episode I chat about:
*The trauma response that was keeping me stuck, (that might be creeping up on you too?)
*The renewed faith and reconnection I have to myself and my work,
*How (and why) to move into a space of receiving,
*The difference between being rescued and being supported,
and the Deep Deep Deeeeep connection to the powers of the universe, her plan and her timing.
This one's a super vulnerable share and I hope my intentions are met in my commitment to normalising these experiences for you xx
Ooooooppphhh you guys!!!!
This episode is Soooooo Suuuuper FCKING juicy!!
I'm not even going to attempt show notes. What you AVOID you INVITE! - Nuff said
Get curious and get listening.
HERE is the self paced course I mentioned in the poddy.
Chances are you know what mental load is, what it feels like and how it has the innate ability to creep up on you. What you may not have heard is how different it can be for everyone, how women and mothers are not the only ones experiencing it, and how we can all be more compassionate when we take care of our own mental load... meaning we get to go from competition to collaboration in life.
www.nickyveenvliet.com
This is the MOST downloaded PDF on my website, so I thought I'd back it up with poddy to take you through each of the 6 things, in more detail.
Grab the accompanying PDF HERE
Please Enjoy!!! :)
Remember episode 2 when I exposed the lie of the
"Strong" Woman...
Well, here is the antidote. The solution to recognising and reclaiming your inner power with out having to exert a tonne of energy or paste on that fake smile.
This is your life beauty, let's live it on your terms 🔥
Get in touch at www.nickyveenvliet.com
For the Woman who's been judged, or judged herself for being "too masculine".
In this episode, I share how (and why) I was far more masculine in a bad marriage than I ever was in the Military.
It's a doozy, I'm a bit raw, I almost didn't share it, but here it is.
It's important !! ❤️
Remember to check out www.nickyveenvliet.com for free and paid programs and resources. You don't have to sell an arm and a leg, but you do have to invest in you if you want things to change xx
Busy-ness, tough gal syndrome and feminine communication are just a couple of the areas I touch on in this episode, exploring what it means when "good" habits and behaviours become toxic and start costing you your happiness and self worth.
Let me know how you go with this one gang... I'm keen to hear how it lands
I remember very clearly the first time someone said, perfectionism is not having high standards, it's actually having non at all 🤯🤯🤯🤯
In this episode I delve into what that means, why perfectionism is not your enemy but where it's most definitely holding you back, and as always, you get some personal stories and examples to have a laugh at, feel connected to and hopefully inspire you to be a little more you today ❤️🔥
Grab my self paced, online course 'Ditch the Doubt" for just $97 AUD (or 2 x $25) here https://www.nickyveenvliet.com/ditch-the-doubt-mini-course
And remember, my DM's are always open. If you enjoyed this episode, please let me know and please share :)
https://www.instagram.com/nickyveenvliet_official/
In this episode I get real with a capital R about how deeply I used to get stuck in thought jail, and how detrimental that can be to your self concept and feeling of self worth.
I talk to psychological schemas formed in childhood and give you a solid strategy to take away and use anytime these BS thoughts pop up. Which they will .... because that's out brains job.
Share, comment or leave review if this ep was helpful.
and be sure to pop over to,
www.nickyveenvliet.com
This episode takes through the specifics of what my 10 day program PHENOMENAL is, who it's for, what you can expect from me and what I will expect from you.
you can purchase the program here:
https://www.nickyveenvliet.com/phenomenal/buy
or get on the waitlist here:
https://www.nickyveenvliet.com/e7d8b610-b34f-42f7-9a69-91cebabed0f2
From not being able to swim 50M to a 750M open water swimming event in one month...
How did I do it?
What did I learn?
What can I share with you?
Follow here : https://www.instagram.com/nickyveenvliet_official/
Chances are, if you feel overloaded, feel like shit would fall apart if you weren't there to sort it all out, have trouble delegating or need permission to make choices for yourself ....You're a "strong" woman.
This isn't inherently bad, I mean we all like to help out and get praised for our efforts. It's when you're doing to the DETRIMENT of yourself that makes all the difference.
People pleasing is not strong behaviour but it often praised as such.
Let's unpack this in todays episode.
Episode 1 : Get to know me a little bit, hear about how the Worrier to Warrior cycle has been created tried and tested.
You can get access to the free MASTERCLASS at www.nickyveenvliet.com and please jump over and connect with me on socials if you haven't already.
FB/ Nicky Veenvliet W2W
insta / Nickyveenvliet_official