On the Show Today:




* 🚨 Masturbators on every corner! Tim’s Citizen app is blowing up with indecent exposures, naked CVS dancers, and mid-intersection jack-offs. It’s like Pokémon Go, but for perverts.



* 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 He wanted a Labubu plush. She wanted it up her butt. A beautifully stupid incest porn negotiation unfolds—truly the most disturbing Pokémon trade ever.



* 🦇 Redneck vampires rise! A Hello Kitty-wearing TikTok granny claims her toothless husband is kin to the Twilight clan. Yes, there’s bloodlust—and dentures.



* 📸 Caught with your pants down? A man sues Google after Street View exposes his bare ass to the world. Spoiler: He wins big.



* 👖 Sydney Sweeney is under fire for an American Eagle jeans ad. Tim investigates: eugenics or just good denim marketing? The real crime might be her whispery, NPR voiceover.



* 🇫🇮 Sponsored by Satan’s Porthole! Tim attempts to roast Finland and nearly dies trying to pronounce their language. National dish? Reindeer. National pastime? Saunas and sorrow.




Also:




* A testosterone-fueled parking lot meltdown ends in bollard carnage and shattered dreams.



* A listener loses trust in Siri, gets anime recs, and nearly calls their boss instead of the voicemail line.



* Meade Skelton claims he’s not deformed—just flabby in all the wrong places (and proud of it).








🎧 Sponsor: Big thanks to DV listener Satan’s Porthole for supporting today’s show and requesting a roast of Finland. This one’s for you and your sauna-loving, reindeer-eating compatriots.



🔊 Voicemail: 206-666-4463📩 Email: show@distortedview.com💸 Sponsor a Show: Only $25! PayPal: show@distortedview.com



👑 Not a Sideshow member? Sign up now at distortedview.com for exclusive episodes and bonus segments!












Today’s Sponsor:




Promo Code: FREAK Save 50% + Free Shipping And Gifts | Coupon Code “FREAK” at checkout! Adam&Eve






Our New PO Box Address!



Distorted ViewPO Box 36268Cincinnati, OH 45236








* Call In To The Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463



* Support Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page



* Get Exclusive Episodes Every Week – Become A Member Of The Distorted View Sideshow!

On Today’s Episode:




* 🥊 Homoerotic Hug Fights: Welcome to the world of “Alpha Bro Pummeling” — when “testing your edge” means getting very, very close to your bro’s crotch.



* 🧑‍🎤 Meade Skelton’s Fitness Coaching Fantasy: After flashing his pasty bod online, Meade wants to become your life coach, nutritionist, romance advisor, and maybe even your vet tech-slash-minister-slash-bodybuilder.



* 🎤 Deaf Guy Covers Iron Maiden: Why not.



* 👯‍♂️ Will Blunderfield’s New Bro Love Anthem: “We Love Our Cocks” is the feel-good dong-swinging hit of the summer.



* 🐹 TikTok Trend Watch – Hamstering: It’s either the horniest sunroof stunt or a made-up trend created to ruin your Google search history. Either way, Tim investigates.



* 🧠 Performance Art or Auditory Nightmare?: Cologne’s Laura Totenhagen gives Yoko Ono a run for her screechy, birdlike money.



* 📢 Azalea Banks Goes Pedo-Apologist: The rapper defends Trump and trivializes statutory rape. She did not pass Go. She did not collect $200. She may have just career-suicided.



* 💩 News Roundup: Racist Subaru lady, psychotic pharmacy screamer, and Tom Hanks has had enough of you.




Plus:




* 🎉 20 Years of Dickhole Guy: Celebrate two decades of “sticking fingers where fingers don’t belong” with fan-favorite Scott Taylor and his legendary self-lubricating meat flute.



* 🎶 DV Archive Gold: Don West Beanie Baby mashups and Butt Fudge Sunday nostalgia with DV legend Corey.



* 🥚 Hard-Boiled Egg Talk (Again): Tim continues his culinary journey with unsolicited egg advice from the voicemail line.



* 🤝 Thanks to Our Sponsor: Big shoutout to Chaz the Tandem Stacker for supporting today’s show — and for triggering a DV history lesson.




💥 Listen Now 📅 Date: Monday, July 28, 2025 🔒 Bonus segment for Sideshow freaks drops later today! 🎧 Sideshow sign-up: ⁠distortedview.com⁠ 📞 Voicemail: 206-666-4463 📬 Email: ⁠show@distortedview.com⁠ 💰 Support: ⁠Patreon.com/DistortedView












Today’s Sponsor:




Promo Code: FREAK Save 50% + Free Shipping And Gifts | Coupon Code “FREAK” at checkout! Adam&Eve






Our New PO Box Address!



Distorted ViewPO Box 36268Cincinnati, OH 45236








* Call In To The Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463



* Support Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page



* Get Exclusive Episodes Every Week – Become A Member Of The Distorted View Sideshow!

Distorted View Daily Show Notes – July 25, 2025



🎉 It’s National Orgasm Week, Freaks!Celebrate your right to moan with 50% off at AdamAndEve.com. We’re talking vibrating nipple clamps, Newton’s Cradle-inspired cock rings, and whatever future-sex gizmos are now USB-chargeable. Use promo code FREAK to turn your nips into pleasure batteries.







On Today’s Episode:




* ✝️ The cult behind The Family International releases a wholesome children’s puppet show featuring:

* A robot with real human-like breasts



* Children licking bloody wounds



* Puppet grandpas who enjoy “gifts” in the form of long mouth kisses



* Casual child fireplay and open invitations to spankings



* And yes… a sexbot serenade





* 🐭 Chuck E. Cheese commits wire fraud while still wearing the mouse head



* 🐊 A man goes full John Wick on an alligator who dared steal his fishing lure



* 🧠 The IQs drop to single digits as The Fresh and Fit podcast hosts try to Holocaust-splain



* 🚨 Police bodycam captures the arrest of a twitching meth mess who insists the cops “don’t have permission” to arrest her








Distorted News Highlights:




* Florida Man strikes again—twice! First as Chuck E. Cheese, then with a vengeance-fueled golf club gator beatdown




Screenshot







🎤 Listener Voicemails:




* The cult nostalgia train continues thanks to Haley’s Comet



* How many symbols can we cram on one pride flag?



* Should Tim legally change his name to Timmy Boo? Spoiler: it’s financially negotiable



* One freak calls out the podcast industry’s Nazi grift economy








🎶 Musical Finale:As a special treat for today’s show sponsor Double D, we present Cortado del Trenta’s full-length cover of Sherebra Venti’s banger “Out Now” – a beautiful ballad of milky seed, roast beef sleeves, and pussy overheating like a ’93 Corolla in August.







Sponsor Shout-Out:A huge thanks to Double D for 17 years of DV loyalty! Sponsored segments and titty talk by listener request. Want your name (or an alias) featured on a future episode? PayPal Tim at show@distortedview.com or paypal.me/distortedview.







💥 Join the Sideshow!Support DV and get access to exclusive episodes:




* 2 full-length Sideshow episodes each week



* 2 bonus segments



* Listener voicemails played FIRST👉 Sign up at DistortedView.com or subscribe via Spotify/Apple Podcasts








Closing Thoughts:If you’re not popping dogs in the ass, are you even a cop?












Today’s Sponsor:




Promo Code: FREAK Save 50% + Free Shipping And Gifts | Coupon Code “FREAK” at checkout! Adam&Eve






Our New PO Box Address!

I’ve got a Best-Of show to hold you over until today’s new episode drops in the afternoon!



Segments



1. Opening News Story: Local News Anchor Eats Cat Vomit




* Summary: A local news anchor mistakenly eats cat vomit, thinking it’s Grape Nuts cereal, during a live broadcast. The incident spirals into comedic chaos as the anchor realizes the mistake on air.



* Quotes:

* “I thought it was Grape Nuts. I ate cat vomit right here on television. It’s disgusting.”



* “It’s on the bottom of my shoe, and I thought it was Grape Nuts, and it’s cat vomit. I’m going to throw up.”





* Key Points:

* The anchor initially mistook cat vomit for cereal scattered on the floor.



* The incident becomes a trending topic, with the anchor humorously addressing the gross error.






2. Main Topics




* The Darker Side of Faux Incest Porn:

* Discussion of a disturbing porn video titled Morning Breakfast Turns into Hardcore Sex with Teen Babe.



* Features a young woman eating cereal, looking sad, and being coerced by a stepfather figure in a non-consensual scenario.



* Tim critiques the unsettling tone, noting the actress’s distress throughout, calling it “Bunny Crush 2.0.”



* Quote: “She never becomes cock hungry. As a matter of fact, she cries throughout the entire thing.”





* Jeff Stryker’s Penis Pump Collection:

* Introduction to gay porn star Jeff Stryker’s endorsement of his penis pump line.



* Features audio from Stryker promoting three models: a squeeze bulb model, an “executive” art deco model, and a flexible tubing/plunger hybrid.



* Quotes:

* “You put the lubricant on your cock. Cock. You slide your cock through this hole.”



* “It’s really neat to watch just how big you can get your cock.”





* Tim humorously compares it to Joan Rivers selling clothing on QVC and references Stryker’s music career (Pop You in the Pooper and What a Man Has to Do).





* Restaurant Bill Dispute:

* A video from the Chi-Town Foodies Facebook group shows a couple arguing over a restaurant bill.



* The woman insists she only invited her daughter, not her partner, leading to a heated exchange where the man pours a drink on her.



* Quote: “I told my daughter to come, not you. You got me fucked up, I’m telling you.”





* Karate Kick at Pro-Life Protest:

* In Toronto, a male counter-protester, Jordan Hunt, roundhouse kicks pro-life organizer Marie-Claire Bissonnette during an anti-abortion protest after she confronts him about defacing signs.



* Hunt is fired from his job at Noble Studio 101 hair salon following the incident.



* Quote: “I meant to get your phone,” Hunt says after the kick, claiming it was unintentional.





* Funeral Director’s Corpse Photos:

* Angelia Angel Stewart, a former Pennsylvania funeral director, is sentenced to 10 years of probation for taking photos of corpses and showing them to friends.



* Photos included a body with organs removed and another covered in maggots, intended to gross out her friends.



* Quote: “If I could take away the pain, I would, but it’s too late.”





* Nazi-Themed Hotel Room:

💉 Sponsored by: Davide (Happy Birthday, ya freak!)







On Today’s Episode:🔹 When AI girlfriends start rejecting the incels who love them most🔹 Grok’s filthy “mommy” mode and the dawn of gooner chatbots🔹 DV listener Davide sponsors the show, while Greg from Austin gets roasted for being cheaper than a blood clot🔹 A 1970s porno trucker tape introduces us to Humpingville, USA, where schmear isn’t just for bagels🔹 A woman weaponizes 911, her toddler flings meth pipes out the window, and somehow she’s the victim (until she’s not)🔹 Great Moments in Customer Service Meltdowns™ featuring lawsuit threats, New York state assemblymen, and one very confused call center worker🔹 A man kills his wife “by mistake” and then travels across state lines to finish the job on the one he really wanted dead🔹 A Florida man threatens to machete everyone on Epstein’s nonexistent client list after arguing with Grok. Justice Dept: 😬







PLUS:🎂 Richard Simmons AI wishes Davide a Jewish-ish birthday📼 Meade Skelton shows us his underpants (again)🧠 Listener voicemails: Anime starter packs, Superman spoilers, and epileptic sex strategy (yes, really)







💸 Support Distorted View:




* Become a true & honorable freak! Sign up for the Sideshow



* Get bonus episodes, exclusive content, and Tim’s eternal gratitude.



* Patreon: patreon.com/distortedview



* Sponsor a show for just $25 via PayPal








📞 Leave a Voicemail: 206-666-4463 (Freak)📬 Email: show@distortedview.com🔗 Join the DV Discord



VIDEO – I…I Don’t Even Know Anymore:










Today’s Sponsor:




Promo Code: FREAK Save 50% + Free Shipping And Gifts | Coupon Code “FREAK” at checkout! Adam&Eve






Our New PO Box Address!



Distorted ViewPO Box 36268Cincinnati, OH 45236








* Call In To The Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463



* Support Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page



* Get Exclusive Episodes Every Week – Become A Member Of The Distorted View Sideshow!

🎙️ Distorted View Daily: Roofies, Racism, and Russian Regret



💥 On Today’s Show:




* 💉 Roofied by Red Bull – Meade Skelton’s Chick-fil-A crush gets Cosby-coded after one too many energy drinks.



* 🧠 Great Moments in Church Sermons – Soccer is for queers, says one unhinged preacher in a homophobic homily.



* 🤢 Do Asians Smell Like Doritos? – Meade’s nose racism spirals out of control on message boards.



* 🧸 Cop Finds Creepy Collection – A Louisiana man calls the cops and ends up arrested for his child-sized sex dolls.



* 🇷🇺 Moving to Russia for “Freedom” – American dad ditches U.S. over “LGBTQ indoctrination” and is rewarded with a one-way trip to the Ukrainian front.



* 🏳️‍🌈 The Pride Flag Has Been Updated Again – Now featuring buttholes, bananas, and feathers. Tim’s done being gay.




💍 Today’s Show is Sponsored by:Discord user Scott_Taylor_DHG, who paid to dedicate the episode to his poor immobile friend Forbesy, a man so disabled he “caught a case of the retard.” The DV community wishes you the best, Forbesy. Please don’t sue.







🔥 Featured Audio & Segments:




* 🎹 Meade Fit and Lean: Unrequited love, hand-touching orgasms, and racist rants about inter-racial dating. (Also, apparently, exercise?)



* 💩 Will Blunderfield Enlightens from the Toilet: Fart-sniffing on a squatty potty is the latest spiritual awakening.



* 🗣️ Snatch Preacher Returns: A holy man obsessed with the word “snatch” helps us all see the light (and maybe the labia).



* 📞 Voicemails: Vladimir Putin infiltrates the party line, a caller educates us on probable cause, and we reminisce about norm-core pig slave Norm Somerton.








🖼️ Featured Image:The Progress Pride Flag 2025 Edition – now with bonus feathers exploding out of a rectal ring.







💸 Support Distorted View:




* Become a true & honorable freak! Sign up for the Sideshow



* Get bonus episodes, exclusive content, and Tim’s eternal gratitude.



* Patreon: patreon.com/distortedview



* Sponsor a show for just $25 via PayPal








📞 Leave a Voicemail: 206-666-4463 (Freak)📬 Email: show@distortedview.com🔗 Join the DV Discord








Today’s Sponsor:




Promo Code: FREAK Save 50% + Free Shipping And Gifts | Coupon Code “FREAK” at checkout! Adam&Eve






Our New PO Box Address!



Distorted ViewPO Box 36268Cincinnati, OH 45236








* Call In To The Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463



* Support Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page



* Get Exclusive Episodes Every Week – Become A Member Of The Distorted View Sideshow!

Hey Freaks! On today’s episode of Distorted View Daily:



🔁 The Recycle Challenge: A livestreamer known as Theory crafts a piss-vomit smoothie using a friend’s pee and his own upchuck… and then drinks it for money. Yes, this is entertainment now. Sponsored by “Recycle Gang” and the darkest corner of TikTok.



🍑 Synchronized Prolapsing Porn: Three women, one bed, and a cacophony of wet, squelching sounds. With proper audio equipment and plenty of helping hands (and balls), they achieve peak rosebud performance. Huge thanks (and apologies) to TylerSaurusRex for this prolapsing gem.



🚓 Cops vs. Karen: Body Cam Breakdown: A woman going 83mph in a 35 zone gets mouthy, panicked, and full-on theatrical during a traffic stop. Crying, kicking, calling Carolee for backup—it’s the emotional rollercoaster of the year. Spoiler: it ends in arrest (and community service).



👶 Little Kid Tongue Game?!: An unnervingly intense church service features children screaming in tongues, blowing horns, and generally being louder than your favorite metal show. Tim questions everything—including his own FBI watchlist status.



💋 Coldplay Cheating Kiss Cam Scandal: A kiss cam outs an affair between two tech execs mid-concert. Panic, internet sleuthing, and job-ending consequences ensue. Bonus: Tim shares his very wet and tooth-focused kissing technique.



🐔 Bear Spray Revenge Over a Chicken: In Florida (of course), a woman attacks another driver with bear mace after the victim allegedly ran over a chicken crossing the road. Felony charges + poultry justice = another day in the Sunshine State.



💸 Support the Show & Sponsor an Episode! DV is now listener-sponsored! Like today’s benefactor Ye, you can own an episode by PayPaling $25 to show@distortedview.com or visiting ⁠paypal.me/distortedview⁠. Tim will grovel accordingly.



🎙️ Distorted View Daily: Friday, July 18th, 2025Presented by: AdamAndEve.com — Use code FREAK for 50% off + bonuses!Sponsored by DV Listener Ye 🙌








Today’s Sponsor:




Promo Code: FREAK Save 50% + Free Shipping And Gifts | Coupon Code “FREAK” at checkout! Adam&Eve






Our New PO Box Address!



Distorted ViewPO Box 36268Cincinnati, OH 45236








* Call In To The Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463



* Support Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page



* Get Exclusive Episodes Every Week – Become A Member Of The Distorted View Sideshow!

Hey Freaks! On today’s episode of Distorted View Daily:



🧽 Jesus’ Secret Weapon: The Magic Eraser!Christian crackpot Katie Souza says you can wipe away demonic curses using a Mr. Clean sponge and the blood of Christ. It’s spiritual warfare meets late-night infomercial! Tim explores her latest descent into menthol-fueled madness—and kicks off the club remix “Break the Cauldron.”



✈️ Fork Fight at 40,000 FeetAn unruly child goes full gremlin on a 14-hour Qatar Airways flight, stabbing a passenger with a metal fork while her mother naps peacefully. The victim grabs a flip-flop and threatens to whoop ass in midair.➡️ “I’m gonna f**k her up!” becomes the new parenting anthem.



🍆 Celebrity Cock Shots: Conor McGregor’s Leaked Dk**Rapper Azealia Banks drops unsolicited dick pics of UFC fighter Conor McGregor in an epic social media feud. Tim dives into the beef, the bulge, and Banks’ threat to expose the “potato farmer dick” of Ireland’s possible next president.



🎵 Campy Queer Classics: The Hits, You Silly SavageRediscover a bizarre 1960s novelty album sung in flamboyant stereotype by “Teddy & Daryl” and possibly used by LAPD to track L.A.’s gay population.Yes, seriously.Also: Evangelion voice actors in an unreleased AIDS PSA featuring ultra-realistic anime sex moaning. (Sorry, radio censors!)



🔫 “Fk Them 19 Mexican Babies”: Charleston White’s Wild Take**Controversial influencer Charleston White shares his intentionally inflammatory reaction to the Uvalde school shooting. Tim offers context, mockery, and rage in equal measure.



📦 Plus:– Katie Souza’s mentorship scam, “Victory Unveiled”– A Mr. Clean / Jesus brand collab?– The subreddit Celebrity Penis gets audited– Evangelion PSA or hentai clip? You decide!– A listener recommends the “Sponsor an Episode” idea 💵– A Tears in Heaven duet with Family Guy’s Herbert?







💥 Today’s DV Club Banger:🎶 “Break the Spell (Mr. Clean’s Blood Mix)”Spiritually cleansing witchcraft vibes with claps, chants, and pure madness.







🎧 Sideshow Freaks:A bonus segment is available today AND tomorrow’s full-length episode is Sideshow-only.👉 Not a member? Join now at https://www.distortedview.comOr subscribe inside Spotify or Apple Podcasts for exclusive episodes!



📬 Want to sponsor a DV episode?



paypal.me/distortedview <— CLICK HERE!Send $25 via PayPal to show@distortedview.com and you’ll get a personal shoutout and maybe even a custom audio request!



📞 Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463📸 Insta & Threads: @distortedview🐦 X / Twitter: @distortedview




Today’s Sponsor:




Promo Code: FREAK Save 50% + Free Shipping And Gifts | Coupon Code “FREAK” at checkout! Adam&Eve






Our New PO Box Address!



Distorted ViewPO Box 36268Cincinnati, OH 45236








* Call In To The Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463



* Support Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page



* Get Exclusive Episodes Every Week – Become A Member Of The Distorted View Sideshow!

🤯 On Today’s Show:



Tim kicks off the week with a real blast from the masturbatory past: vintage 1970s audio “trucker tapes,” complete with absurd sex talk, ridiculous dialogue, and a surprising amount of filth involving bodily fluids and cross-contaminated orifices. It’s truly a Sextastic Tuesday… on a Monday.



👵 Plus, Tim’s mom returns for a round of “What’s That Sound?” where she hilariously misidentifies the noise of a man being crushed by a woman’s thighs. (Spoiler: not a haunted house.)



💊 In other segments:




* A real-life crack whore shares traumatic tales of corpse-filled freezers, stepfather incest, and plastic-bag defecation while chatting with her daughter mid-dump.



* We revisit the bizarre porn genre of “Crackhead Confessionals”—because what’s more titillating than generational trauma and gastrointestinal distress?



* New penis size survey results are in! (Spoiler: Men lie. A lot.) Find out which U.S. state exaggerates the most and which claims to be the most honest (it’s Maine, but don’t trust them either).



* A meth-fueled birthday joyride takes a wild turn in Florida as a man steals a tourist train, picks up passengers, and tweaks his way to jail. Happy Methday!








🔥 DV Sideshow Bonus:



Later today, Tim plans to feature more of the “Hollywood’s Cum Freaks” trucker tape in a bonus Sideshow-only segment. Can’t get enough of Sweet Dick? He’s back, baby—and he’s got an educated cock.



👉 Join now at distortedview.com or subscribe via Spotify or Apple Podcasts to unlock exclusive bonus shows!







📞 Voicemail Freakouts:




* A patron calls in with 4th of July fireworks factory explosion footage (meh audio, great visuals).



* Doviday offers sympathy and stories about dealing with aging parents.



* Jimmy Boo calls Tim out for confusing Star Trek and Star Wars (nerd alert!).



* Yes, yes, yes—Wing was on South Park. We know.








💬 Highlights:




* “My pussy is always an open invitation to you.”



* “I’m gonna whitewash your whole insides, girl!”



* “You got an educated dick—come educate this pussy!”



* “Partly redneck with a chance of crystal meth.”








📢 Spread the Distortion:Tell your friends, share the show, and leave a five-star review wherever you listen to podcasts.🎧 Subscribe to the Sideshow and gain access to all the delicious audio filth Tim has to offer.







🗓️ Next Episode: Full-length Sideshow exclusive drops Tuesday!💻 distortedview.com📱 Voicemail: 206-666-4463📧 Email: show@distortedview.com📸 Social: @DistortedView on X and Instagram




Today’s Sponsor:




Promo Code: FREAK Save 50% + Free Shipping And Gifts | Coupon Code “FREAK” at checkout! Adam&Eve






Our New PO Box Address!



Distorted ViewPO Box 36268Cincinnati, OH 45236

On Today’s Show:



🎙️ Distorted View Daily: Friday, July 11th, 2025



Happy Friday, Freaks! We’re closing out the week with another deranged dive into the bowels of humanity — and Timmy Boo is serving up short bursts of weirdness before heading back to Ashtabula to relocate Mama Henson and her brand-new, adjustable shitter throne. Let’s celebrate with some of the most pungent, pissy, and profane clips we’ve collected.



🧼 On Today’s Episode:



💸 Livestream Begging Goes Full Yeast Infection:Meet Sheiky, a thumb-sucking, ball-scratching trans sex worker pulling in up to $10K a month on Facebook Live… for doing absolutely nothing. That’s right — she’s just sitting there, scratching what she calls her “pussy,” but we all know it’s her balls. Bonus: she offers top-tier dating advice like “scratch your man’s balls to keep him around.”



🛫 Modern-Day Rosa Parks Tries to Jack a First-Class Seat:A woman decides she’s had enough of coach and simply plops down in first class. When questioned, she compares herself to Rosa Parks and claims racial profiling. Cue the entitled freak-out and the inevitable deplaning. You’re not “elevating the conversation,” lady — you’re just getting kicked off the flight.



🚐 RV Sex Crime Caper:West Virginia couple busted mid-coitus in a stolen RV. Cops say she was literally riding him cowgirl style while driving. Bonus charges include drugs, DUI, and indecent exposure. Guess that RV really stood for “Reckless Vagging.”



📼 Mead Skelton vs. Satanic AI:Mead once again reaches out to Tim to complain about AI cover songs — which he believes were created by satanic adrenochrome junkies. Also, Mead suspects he was hit on at a library by a homosexual with great taste in hoodies and Velcro shoes. Later, he gushes over a beautiful Chick-fil-A coworker who once gave him a high-five. That’s basically foreplay in Meadspeak.



🚪 TikTok Teens Try to Get Shot:A new social media “prank” — the Door Kick Challenge — leads to two teens getting arrested in Florida. Sheriff issues warning: “In this state, you kick the wrong door and you’ll meet the Castle Doctrine… and a shotgun.”



💩 Tim’s Pooping on Stilts:Tim gets hyped for a toilet seat riser for his mom and considers taking it for a test drive himself. Because if your feet don’t dangle while pooping, are you even living?



📦 Voicemails:Listeners check in with reactions to the stealthing gloryhole episode, Tim’s mom update, and the Mead metal tribute tracks. Plus: Ad placement complaints, Velcro shoe confessions, and a dark mom death pool joke (too soon, man).







🧼 Sideshow PlugNot a member? You’re missing out on exclusive content every week: full-length bonus episodes, mini-segments, and more madness. Sign up at SuperFreakSideshow.com or subscribe via Spotify or Apple Podcasts!



💩 Patreon AlertSupport the show on Patreon and unlock extra goodies — including the special voicemail line and the occasional merch drop. Tier up, freaks!







🪦 Today’s Themes:




* ✨Pussy Itch E-Begging



* ✈️ Racial Entitlement Meltdown



* 🛻 Redneck Sex Crimes



* 🤖 Satanic AI Hysteria



* 🦶 Velcro Shoe Trauma



* 🚪 Gen Z Getting Shot at Doors



* 🧻 Poop Elevation Experiments








📬 Email: show@distortedview.com📞 Voicemail: 206-666-4463🐦 Twitter/Instagram:...

On Today’s Show:



🎉 National Sucker Punch a Baby Day is back! Celebrate this time-honored tradition by punching a newborn square in the face. Tim walks us through the proud history of this idiotic fake holiday and what it really teaches us about infant uselessness.



👵 Phone Sex With Granny:Distorted View proudly presents an unforgettable audio journey featuring a redheaded, foul-mouthed elderly woman moaning through an X-rated conversation. It’s every bit as disturbing as you’d expect.



🎶 Mead Metal Returns!Tim unveils a new batch of AI-generated genre-bending covers of Mead Skelton’s forgotten catalog:




* “Choco Taco” gets a heavy metal eulogy



* “Kill a Commie for Mommy” takes a pop-ska turn



* “You Better Wish Me a Merry Christmas” goes Middle Eastern



* “Fat No More” becomes an ‘80s synthpop banger



* “E-Girl” receives the Laura Branigan treatment




🧬 Reddit’s Incest-Pro Lobby:Tim dives headfirst into the revolting subreddit r/IncestIsntWrong and its deeply disturbing community. From people trying to normalize banging their siblings to one guy announcing plans to impregnate his mom, it’s a veritable circus of degeneracy—and Tim reads the worst of the worst.



🏚️ Crack House Marketing Backlash:A Cleveland real estate investor is under fire for erecting provocative billboards that read “Yes, I Buy Crack Houses.” Tim explores the controversy and whether or not the outrage is warranted. Plus: why you should never put your face on an ad if you’re going to be that punchable.



☠️ Toxic Sausage Buns in China:233 kindergarten kids were poisoned after school chefs used industrial paint to decorate cakes and buns. Yes, they actually served lead-covered food. Tim covers the outrage, cover-up attempts, and whether neon food dye is worth liver failure.



📞 Voicemail Mayhem:Freaks call in to:




* Suggest pot edibles for Tim’s mom



* Share a David Allan Coe bar brawl story



* Discuss cruise ship musical horrors (Cats at sea?!)



* Endorse Vicodin as the ultimate premature ejaculation solution








🛑 Not a Sideshow member yet?Support DV and get full access to bonus shows, exclusive content, and Tim’s secret voicemail line!Sign up now at DistortedView.com or directly in Spotify and Apple Podcasts!








Today’s Sponsor:




Promo Code: FREAK Save 50% + Free Shipping And Gifts | Coupon Code “FREAK” at checkout! Adam&Eve






Our New PO Box Address!



Distorted ViewPO Box 36268Cincinnati, OH 45236








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On Today’s Show:



On Today’s Show:



🧟‍♀️ Mama Boo Watch:Tim’s meth-recovering, meat-craving mother is wreaking havoc at her new physical rehab facility. From yelling about wheelchair tetherball to accusing staff of terrorism and drug mishandling, it’s clear she’s not vibing with institutional care. Bonus: She might’ve been poisoned by improperly stored cancer meds. Lawyers, form a queue.



📼 Blast from the Hentai Past:Tim unearthed a piece of anime porn history: Gonad the Barbarian (1986), one of the first hentai titles ever dubbed into English. Join Princess Lamy, Dr. Chirkoff from ASS, and the galactic sexbot army known as GAS as they explore dildonic weapons, anal invasions, and a dog named Scotty who licks way too enthusiastically.



🧨 4th of July Follies:A rapper named 4Xtra decided to literally “blow up” on social media by holding lit fireworks and taunting viewers. The fireworks answered back by removing two of his fingers. A GoFundMe now aims to reassemble what remains of his podcasting hand. Tim suggests a new stage name: 2Fewer.



🎤 Elderly Karaoke Theater Presents:Old people butchering Montell Jordan’s This Is How We Do It—because nothing screams “West Side party” like hospice hip-hop.



🌪️ Fake Flooding Conspiracies & Cloud Commanders:Georgia congressional candidate Kandiss Taylor thinks Texas flash floods are fake. So does Marjorie Taylor Greene. Solution? Psychic weather warrior T. Chase, who tries to make clouds into squares by chanting at them on YouTube. Tim suggests appointing him head of NOAA.



🥊 White House Fight Night?!Trump wants a UFC event held on the White House lawn for America’s 250th birthday in 2026. Conor McGregor’s down. Tim’s somewhere between horrified and ready to place bets on Kamala vs. Kid Rock.



📸 First Amendment Audit Gone Awry:Redneck Yosemite Sam gets pepper-sprayed after accusing a YouTuber of “photocopying” him. He doesn’t want to be Xeroxed. Or spiral-bound. Or collated. Just another day in public space harassment content.



📞 Listener Voicemails:




* Sweet Rectum Ralph shares NE Ohio love for Mama Boo.



* Unicorn Hamster still confuses Tim’s audience.



* Goon Spader Jisberg suggests compiling a Mama Boo Special retrospective — Tim’s onboard!



* Tim contemplates what it would take to have sex with Mead. Spoiler: A lifetime Sideshow membership? Maybe. (And a big dick.)








💥 Exclusive Content Alert:Sideshow freaks, rejoice!




* New bonus segment drops later today



* Tomorrow’s full-length episode is Sideshow-only



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Contact:📧 Email: show@distortedview.com📱 Voicemail: 206-666-4463 (Oh God, Is It…)🐦 @distortedview | 📸 Instagram | 📘 Facebook







Rate & Review:5-star ratings, Apple Podcasts thumbs-ups, and awkward over-the-phone voicemails from your mom are all welcome.Independence Day the Distorted View way: confused, cracked out, and covered in duck cum.




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