☕️ Coffee and Conversations for MEN
🎙 #13 Episode Title: The Financial Fight No One TrainedYou For
🎯 Theme: Mastering Health and Wealth Through Discipline &Intention
🎧 Episode Overview
In this rich and revealing episode, Jay and Brian dive into the deep connection between financial wellness and their five pillars (fitness, nutrition, relationships, mental health, & lifelong learning. From gym routines to grocery budgets, from investing in your health to managing money in marriage, they explore how the choices men make daily affect both their energy and their equity.
Through personal stories, hard-earned lessons, and powerful mindsetshifts, this episode will challenge you to rethink the way you move, eat, spend, and save.
💡 Key Messages
Financial stress is a silent killer—and it shows up in your body.
Discipline in your fitness mirrors discipline in your finances.
Your grocery list is a budget—and your plate is an investment.
Your relationship with money gets passed on—whether you talk about it or not.
Small, consistent habits build a strong body and a secure future.
☕️ 0:48 – Overview☕️ 2:05 – What’s in Your Coffee Cup? Streets Ahead Coffee Roasters
streetsaheadcoffeeroasters@gmail.com
https://www.facebook.com/Streetsaheadcoffeeroasters/
☕️ 3:40 – The WHY?
💪 5:17 ~ Fitness & Finances: Why Discipline in One Shapes the Other
Home gyms built on a budget
Fitness expenses as long-term investments
Tracking workouts + tracking expensesQuote: “You don’t skip leg day—don’t skip financial planning either.”
Research Highlight: Kiyosaki (2000) reminds us to “build assets, not liabilities.” For many men, fitness is an asset.
🥦 15:32 Nutrition & Finances: Pay the Farmer or the Pharmacist
CSA shares as proactive meal planning
The power of meal prep
Fast food = fast debtQuote: “Healthy eating isn’t expensive—it’s planned.”Research Highlight: Tyson (2021) explains how budget leaks—like takeout—can sabotage long-term goals.
🧠 26:26 Mental Health & Finances: Breaking the Silence
The stress of unspoken financial anxiety
Emotional spending and retail therapy
One-car families, delayed gratification, and financial peaceQuote: “Understanding money is the first step to controlling your life.”Research Highlight: Ontario’s 2020 curriculum now includes financial literacy—a game-changer for the next generation.
❤️ 37:17 Relationships & Finances: Marriage, Money & Mentorship
Allowances, jars, and teaching kids about money
Surprise vacations, secret savings, and collaboration
Financial check-ins and shared decision-makingQuote: “Your relationship with money is passed down—whether you talk about it or not.”Research Highlight: Tyson (2020) emphasizes clarity, communication, and shared planning in successful financial relationships.
📘 47:27 Lifelong Learning: Financial Fitness Is a Journey
Living below your means—even when income increases
Emergency funds, bad debt, and learning to invest
Will, power of attorney, insurance—your financial foundationQuote: “The best time to start learning was yesterday. The second-best is today.”Research Highlight: Chilton (2006) and Hill (1937) both stresspersistence, clarity, and long-term mindset in building wealth and success.
📚 Referenced Research & Resources
Chilton, D. (2006). The Wealthy Barber.
Hill, N. (1937). Think and Grow Rich.
Kiyosaki, R. (2000). Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
Tyson, E. (2021). Personal Finance for Dummies.
👥 Join the Conversation
DM us or email to share how you’re growing—financially, physically, or both. What habits have helped? What lessons have you learned the hard way? This is a space for real men, real talk, and real growth. Jay & Brian
📲 Connect with UsInstagram: @coffeeandconversations4men
YouTube: @CoffeeandConversationsforMEN
Email: CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.com
Facebook: Coffee and Conversations for MEN
Show Notes
☕️ Coffee and Conversations for MEN
🎙 #12 Episode Title: From Breakdown to Breakthrough: A Real Talk About GRIEF
🎯 Theme: Grief, Loss & the Hidden Stories Men Carry
🎧 Episode Overview
In this powerful and revealing episode, Jay and Brian open the door to one of the most unspoken and misunderstood experiences for men: grief. But not just the grief of losing someone—this is a conversation about the many formsof loss that go unnamed.
From lost careers to death of loved ones, from injuries and aging bodies to broken friendships, this episode explores how men experience grief in silence—and how that silence shapes our fitness, food, emotions, and identity.With honesty and vulnerability, Jay and Brian share personal stories and insights that help listeners recognize and release the grief they didn’t even know they were carrying.
💡 Key Messages
-Grief isn’t just death—it’s the loss of identity, dreams, relationships, and time.
-If you don’t process grief, it processes you—through your habits, health, and hidden pain.
-Movement and food can be healing—but they can also be a mask for what hurts.
-Giving grief a name is the first step toward healing.
-You don’t need a funeral to grieve. And you don’t need to suffer insilence.
☕️ 0:47 Overview
☕️ 2:08 The Why???
☕️ 4:21 What’s in Your Coffee Cup?
Jay – https://www.receivercoffee.com/collections/coffeeBrian – https://estatescoffee.com/
🔍 Featured Topics & Segments
💪 6:16 Fitness & Grief: When Movement Masks the Pain
-Grieving the body, career, and routine post-retirement
-Obsessive fitness as control and coping
-Numbness hidden behind wellness
🥦 15:23 Nutrition & Grief: When Regret Shows Up on Your Plate
-Emotional eating as silent grief
-The gut-brain-grief connection
-Comfort foods as coping, not nourishment
🧠 23:38 Mental Health & Grief: Naming the Unspoken Loss
-Grief isn’t always sadness—it can be anger, addiction, anxiety
-Trauma stored in the body, triggered decades later
-Midlife crisis… or midlife grief?
❤️ 35:30 Relationships & Grief: When Friendships Fade
-The invisible pain of broken brotherhoods
-Making peace with endings that don’t have closure
-Missing people who are still alive
📘 47:00 Lifelong Learning: What Loss Leaves Behind
-Grief as a teacher, not just a taker
-From journaling to storytelling—healing through meaning
-Finding growth in the cracks left by grief
📚 Referenced Research & Resources
Anderson, E. & Stell, A. (2020). Masculinity and Social Loss.Psychology of Men & Masculinities.
Cryan, J. F., et al. (2019). The Gut-Brain Axis in Grief and Emotion.Neurobiology of Stress.
Harper, F. G. (2022). Unfck your grief:Using science to heal yourself and support others (E. Bennett, Narr.) [Audiobook]. Blackstone Publishing.
Levine, P. (2021). Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma. NorthAtlantic Books.
McAdams, D. (2015). The Art and Science of Narrative Identity. APA Psychology.
Prigerson, H., et al. (2021). Prolonged Grief Disorder. WorldPsychiatry.
💬 Final Reflection
“Grief doesn’t always look like mourning—it can look like running, numbing,overeating, overworking.”
“You don’t have to lose someone to feel loss. And you don’t need permission togrieve.”
“Grief, named and voiced, becomes wisdom. Silence only gives it power.”
“You’re not broken. You’re grieving.”
👥 Join the Conversation
DM us or email to share your own experience with grief—whether it's a relationship, identity, body, or time you lost.
This podcast is a space for men to heal, grow, and be real—together.
Jay and Brian
📲 Connect with Us
Instagram: @coffeeandconversations4men
YouTube: @CoffeeandConversationsforMEN
Email: CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.com
Facebook: Coffee and Conversations for MEN
Show Notes
☕️ Coffee and Conversations for MEN
🎙 #11 Episode Title: If your purpose isn’t your paycheque, where do you find your IDENTITY
🎯 Theme: Men’s Identity in the Workforce & Life After the Title
🎧 Episode Overview
In this deep and personal episode, Jay and Brian explore the silent crisis many men face when their career ends, shifts, or no longer defines them. From job loss to retirement, from burnout to body image—this episode dives into how identity gets tangled in performance, status, and validation.
Through personal stories, powerful research, and the Five Pillars of Wellness, the conversation invites men to redefine who they are—not by what they do, but by how they live, love, feel, and grow.
💡 Key Messages
*You are not your title. Your work is what you do—not who you are. Identity rooted only in roles is fragile. Build purpose beyond performance.
*Masculinity evolves. Real strength lies in expression, not suppression.
*Growth doesn’t end with a job—it begins again.
3:12 What’s in your Coffee Cup?
Jay- Shell Shock by 8 Bite https://www.8bitbeans.com/product-page/shell-shocked-chocolate-caramel-and-butter-pecan
Brian- Ridge Blend by Grey Ridge https://greyridgecoffee.ca/products/ridge-blend?variant=43073480949918
💪 4:02 Fitness & Identity: When the Body Becomes the Brand
-From emotional collapse to obsessive control
-Using strength as a shield, muscles as a mask
-The illusion of control through workouts
-Reclaiming fitness as self-expression, not validation
🥦 13:56 Nutrition & Identity: When Eating Becomes Ego
-When “clean eating” becomes a performance
-The shame spiral after indulgence
-Biohacking and discipline as status signals
-Returning to flexible, intuitive eating for well-being
🧠 23:54 Mental Health & Identity: “I’m Not My Job”
-Why career transitions hit men harder than expected
-Masculine identity traps: The Fixer, The Stoic, The Provider
-High-functioning on the outside, quietly breaking inside
-Tools for emotional expression & support
❤️ 37:44 Relationships & Identity: When Being Needed = Being Worthy
-The invisible burden of “being the provider”
-Reconnecting with partners and kids beyond your paycheck
-Common identity traps: emotional suppression, performative reliability
-Loving and being loved beyond usefulness
📘 50:11 Lifelong Learning: Redefining Life After the Title
-The disorientation of retirement or career endings
-How new routines, hobbies, and roles restore purpose
-Rediscovering self-outside of productivity
-Who are you when no one’s watching?”
📚 Referenced Research & Resources
Boettcher, N., et al. (2019). Men’s Work-Related Stress and Mental Health. American Journal of Men's Health, 13(2).
Roberts, K., et al. (2023). Athletic Identity & Mental Health inRetirement. Journal of Sport Rehabilitation, 32(5), 630–634.
Tribole, E., & Resch, E. (2020). Intuitive Eating (4th ed.). St. Martin's Publishing Group.
Lee, J., & Lee, S. (2016). Caring is Masculine: Stay-at-HomeFathers and Masculine Identity. Psychology of Men & Masculinity.
Newton, N. J. (2022). Older Canadians' Identity and Well-Being in Retirement. International Journal of Aging & Human Development, 95(1), 91–109.
💬 Final Reflection
“Your work is not your worth. Your title is not your truth.”“Your body is your home—not your brand.”“Your value is in how you show up, not just what you do.”
👥 Join the Conversation
DM us or email to share your story, reflect on your own identityevolution, or connect with a men’s support group. You’re not alone—and you don’t have to carry it all in silence.
Jay and Brian
Connect with Us:
Instagram: @coffeeandconversations4men
You Tube: @CoffeeandConversationsforMEN
Email:CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.com
Facebook: Coffee and Conversations for MEN
Podcast Show Notes
💡 Episode 010: Turning Failure into Fuel and Rejection into Resets
Overview
In this powerful and raw episode, we unpack the ways that rejection and failure show up in men’s lives—from the gym to the kitchen, from the boardroom to the bedroom—and how to reframe these setbacks as setups for growth.
Hosts Jay and Brian shares deeply personal stories—from being cut from a baseball team to battling binge eating to learning to own emotional vulnerability—and we reflect on how masculinity myths, shame, and isolation can compound pain. But with intention, support, and emotional literacy, we cantransform rejection into redirection and failure into feedback.
This episode is for any man who’s ever felt defeated, pushedaside, or not good enough—and is ready to turn that pain into power.
🧭 Key Takeaways
🧩 Overarching Messages
Rejection and failure are universal, not personal. Normalize the experience.
Masculinity myths distort how men process pain—emotional literacy is essential.
Growth is less about what happened and more about how you respond.
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🏋️ FITNESS
Key Message: Failure is part of physical growth; mindset makes the difference.
💡 Takeaway: Reframe failure as part of training. Resilience >perfection.
📚 Research: Men who tie self-worth to physical performance are more prone to shame and depression when injured (Anderson et al., 2018).
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🥦 NUTRITION
Key Message: Nutritional progress isn’t about perfection—it's about learning from your slip-ups.
💡 Advice: Use slip-ups as data, not defeat. Educate yourselfand stay the course.
📚 Research: Disordered eating patterns in men are increasing, often tied to body image and control (Byrne et al., 2024).
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🧠 MENTAL HEALTH
Key Message: Rejection doesn’t define you. It refines you.
💬 “A 'no' today might just be a 'not here.' Keep showing up.”
📚 Research: Brain scans show social rejection activates the same pain centres as physical injury (Eisenberger & Lieberman, 2004).
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❤️ RELATIONSHIPS
Key Message: Rejection in love or friendship can be devastating—especially when we’re taught not to talk about it.
💬 “Some ghost you. Some grow with you. Let them.”
📚 Research: Men who experience social disconnection and rejection are at higher risk for suicide—especially without strong support networks (Joiner et al., 2009).
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📚 LIFE-LONG LEARNING
Key Message: Failure is tuition. Wisdom is the degree.
💬 “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.”
📚 Research: Growth mindset improves resilience and motivation, even after failure (Yeager et al., 2019).
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🎧 Listen Now If You...
*Feel stuck in shame from a past mistake
*Are navigating a job, fitness, or relationship rejection
*Want practical tools to bounce back stronger
*Believe masculinity can include vulnerability, connection, and honesty
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👥 Join the Conversation
What rejection have you reframed?
What failure helped you grow?
DM us your story or tag us @coffeeandconversations4men or email us at CoffeeandConversationsformen@gmail.com
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📌 Resources & Research Mentioned
Anderson et al. (2018) – Physical failure and male self-worth
Byrne et al. (2024) – Disordered eating in male adolescents
Eisenberger & Lieberman (2004) – Rejection and brain pain centres
Joiner et al. (2009) – Social isolation and suicide risk in men
Yeager et al. (2019) – Growth mindset and academic resilience
https://contextualscience.org/act
🎙️ Hosted by Jay and Brian
Subscribe, rate, and share this episode if it resonated. Your story isn’t over—it’s just getting started.
☕️ Coffee and Conversations for MEN — Episode Title: Good Brain, Bad Brain with Mark Sparvell
Release Date: July 2025
Length: 55 minutes
Host(s): Jay Guy & Brian Jones
🎙️ Episode Summary
In this BONUS guest episode of Coffee and Conversations for MEN, we sit down with Mark Sparvell, global education thought leader, keynote speaker, and author of Good Brain Bad Brain. With over 30 years of experience at the forefront of educational innovation and human development,Mark brings a unique lens to the way our minds shape our live—and how we can take control back.
Together, we explore what it means to live with a "survivalbrain" in a success-driven world, how emotional intelligence truly evolves, and what practical rewiring looks like when you're feeling stuck. Mark shares powerful insights, stories from his personal turning points, and one takeaway he hopes every listener remembers.
Whether you're leading a team, raising a family, or just navigating the daily grind—this conversation will challenge the way you think about thinking.
👤 About Our Guest: Mark Sparvell
*Author: Good Brain Bad Brain
*Global Keynote Speaker
*Well-being & SEL Consultant
*Technology Executive & Influencer
*Marketing and Leadership Professional
Mark Sparvell, B.Ed., M.Ed., is a global education leader with deep expertise in digital transformation, emotional intelligence, and leveraging technology to humanize learning. He helps leaders unlock the tacit knowledge within communities to drive meaningful and sustainable change. His work has impacted classrooms and boardrooms worldwide.
______________________
🔍 Topics We Cover
1) Why Mark wrote Good Brain Bad Brain
2) The survival brain vs. the success brain
3) The moment Mark realized he was running “outdated mental software”
4) Rewiring your brain when change feels too hard
5) The evolution of emotional intelligence
6) Practical strategies for daily mindset shifts
7) What Mark would tell his younger self_____________________
📚 Episode Highlights
“Our brains are not broken—they're outdated. But outdated doesn’t mean irreversible.”
“Emotional intelligence isn't soft—it's essential. And it grows with you, if you let it.”
“The best leaders? They’re not the smartest in the room. They’re the most aware.”
_____________________
💡 One Key Takeaway
If you only remember one thing from this conversation, let it be this:
You are not stuck. Your brain is plastic, adaptable, and ready—if you are.
_________________________________
🔗 Links & Resources
*Get the book: Good Brain Bad Brain by Mark Sparvell http://bit.ly/goodbrainbadbrain
*Follow Mark on X @sparvell
*Follow Mark on LinkedIn: Mark Sparvell
____________________________
🙌 Stay Connected
Enjoying the show?
Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a friend who needs a mindset shift.
Instagram: @coffeeandconversations4men
YouTube: @CoffeeandConverationsforMEN
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7D150YdAR25cQiKoakjdx9
Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/coffee-and-conversations-for-men/id1790889485
Email: CoffeeandConversationsforMen@gmail.com
🎙️ Podcast Show Notes
Episode 008: “Finding Your TRIBE and ALLIES – For Men”
In this powerful episode of Coffee and Conversations for MEN, Jay and Brian dive into a topic that hits close to home for many men—especially as they age: How do we find our tribe? How do we build meaningful, trustworthy connections with other men in a world that often discourages vulnerability and emotional brotherhood?
Through the lens of the Five Pillars—Fitness, Nutrition, Mental Health, Relationships, and Lifelong Learning—this episode offers insight, real stories, and strategies for finding your people and cultivating lasting brotherhood.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing life solo, or if you’re cravingdeeper, more authentic male friendships—this episode is for you.
🎯 Episode Highlights
00:00 – Overview
01:02 – The Why03:17 – What’s in Your Cup? 04:24 – Fitness: Brotherhood Through Movement
Physical activity isn’t just about strength—it’s about solidarity. Men bond shoulder-to-shoulder, and movement creates space for trust and openness. From hiking clubs to pickup basketball, building your tribe might start with lacing up your shoes.
13:33 – Nutrition: Sharing Meals, Sharing Life
Breaking bread is ancient. From potluck dinners to trying new ingredients, food becomes a space for vulnerability, laughter, and community among men.
19:48– Mental Health: Strength Through Shared Struggle
You don’t need to “man up”—you need to “man together.” Discover how shared experiences, gym nights, and community play spaces foster emotional connection, especially for single fathers and isolated men.
29:13– Relationships: Brotherhood Beyond Bloodlines
Jay and Brian share powerful stories of male influence. Legacy lives in how we treat each other, and connection can come from shared values, not just shared DNA.
39:00 – Lifelong Learning: Growth That Gathers Men Together
Whether it’s reading a new book, learning a skill, or simply staying curious, personal growth creates connection. When men learn together, they grow together—and build community that lasts.
☕ What’s in Your Cup?Jay’s Cup. 8bitbeans https://www.8bitbeans.com/(Shell Shocked)
Brian’s Cup Kicking Horse Coffee (ThreeSisters) https://kickinghorsecoffee.com/collections/coffee
🔗 Connect with Us:
📚 References & Mentions:
FITNESS:Torres, Z., Tomás, J.M., Sentandreu-Mañó, T., Fernández, I., & Pla-Sanz, N. (2024). Social participation, loneliness, and physical inactivity over time: Evidence from SHARE. International Psychogeriatrics, 36(9), 799–807. https://doi.org/10.1017/S1041610224000504
NUTRITION:Dunbar, R. I. M. (2017). Breaking bread: The functions of social eating. Adaptive Human Behavior and Physiology, 3(3), 198–211. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40750-017-0061-4
MENTAL HEALTH:Kimmel, M. (2010). Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men
RELATIONSHIPS:
Putnam, R. D. (2000). Bowling alone: The collapse and revival of American community.Simon & Schuster.
Junger, S. (2016). Tribe: On homecoming and belonging. Twelve.
Ellemers, Naomi & Stam, Daan & de Gilder, Dick. (2013). FeelingIncluded and Valued: How Perceived Respect Affects Positive Team Identity and Willingness to Invest in the Team. British Journal of Management. 24. 10.1111/j.1467-8551.2011.00784.x.
LIFELONG LEARNING:
Ellemers, Naomi & Stam, Daan & de Gilder, Dick. (2013). FeelingIncluded and Valued: How Perceived Respect Affects Positive Team Identity and Willingness to Invest in the Team. British Journal of Management. 24. 10.1111/j.1467-8551.2011.00784.x.
Stay strong. Stay curious. Stay connected.
🎙️ Podcast Episode Title:
From Healthy at HOME to Your HOME: Discover Real Food Freedom and the Story Behind “HEALTHY AT HOME 905”
📅 Episode Release Date: JUNE 16, 2025
🎧 Guest: Justin Brothers – Founder of Healthy at Home 905
Episode Summary:
In this inspiring episode, we sit down with Justin Brothers, the passionate founder of Healthy at Home 905—a game-changing meal prep service based in Bowmanville, Ontario. What began as Justin’s personal mission to make healthy eating more accessible has grown into a beloved community resource known for its customizable meals, no-subscription model, and a people-first philosophy.
Justin shares the journey of building his business from the ground up, how it aligns with the pillars of holistic well-being, and why food is more than just fuel—it's a connection to better health, stronger relationships, and community support. Whether you’re trying to eat better, move better, or live better, this episode has something for you.
🕒 Episode Breakdown:
00:00 – Introduction
Meet Justin Brothers and get a sneak peek into today’s topics.
01:05 – What’s in Your CUP?
We explore what fills Justin’s emotional and energetic “cup” and what keeps him grounded.
Fueling physical performance and sustainable habits
02:00 – How Healthy at Home meals support fitness goals like muscle gain, endurance, and fat loss
03:20 – Collaborating with trainers to develop custom meal strategies
Empowering better choices and personalized health
06:10 – How Justin balances taste and nutrition without falling into restrictive dieting
Nourishing the mind through food and community
09:05 – The role of food in men’s mental wellness beyond just nutrients
10:47 – Stories from clients who’ve experienced relief from meal planning stress
Strengthening bonds through food and shared values
13:47 – How food and shared mealtimes foster deeper connections
Growth mindset, adaptability, and self-discovery
15:27 – Advice for men overwhelmed by health info: where to start with better eating
18:19 – How entrepreneurship has transformed Justin’s personal and professional growth
20:35 – Justin answers: “What advice would you give your younger self?”
🎯 Key Takeaways:
Meal prep can be stress-free, flexible, and fulfilling.
Nutrition is a powerful tool for both physical and mental wellness.
You don’t need to be perfect—you just need to start where you are.
Entrepreneurship is a journey of constant learning, both about business and yourself.
🔗 Resources & Links:
Visit Healthy at Home 905: https://healthyathome905.ca
Subscribe & Follow
Don’t miss future episodes—subscribe, leave a review, and follow us on [platforms you use].
Got feedback or a guest recommendation? Reach out—we’d love to hear from you!
💪 PILLAR 1: FITNESS🥗 PILLAR 2: NUTRITION🧠 PILLAR 3: MEN'S MENTAL HEALTH🤝 PILLAR 4: RELATIONSHIPS📚 PILLAR 5: LIFELONG LEARNING
🎙️ Podcast Show Notes
Episode 006: “Father Figures: Real Role Models for Real Life”
In this episode of Coffee and Conversations for MEN, Jay and Brian explore the evolving concept of fatherhood and mentorship through the lens of influence, not biology. Whether you're a dad, uncle, guncle, coach, mentor, grandfather, older brother or someone who simply shows up in a guiding role for others this episode is for you.
We dive into the importance of positive male role models, challenge traditional views of fatherhood, and open the doorto a more inclusive conversation around what it means to lead, support, and show up in real time for the people in our lives.
This episode is not just for fathers—it’s for any man who's ever wondered: Am I making a difference?
🎯 Episode Highlights
· 00:46 – Overview
· 01:46 - The Why?
· 02:52 - What’s in your Cup?
· 03:45 - Fitness: Building strong bodies starts with showing up—just like father figures do in real life, consistency and presence matter more than perfection.
· 12:58 - Nutrition: Nourishment isn’t just about what we eat—it’s about the values and support we feed into others through mentorship and daily actions.
· 22:35 - Mental Health: Positive male role models can be powerful anchors for emotional resilience, helping men navigate identity, purpose, and connection.
· 38:57 - Relationships: True fatherhood is defined by influence and presence, not biology—what matters most is how we show up for others.
· 43:33 - Lifelong Learning: Every experience as a mentor or father figure becomes a lesson, showing that growth and leadership evolve through real-time engagement and reflection.
💡 Key Takeaways:
☕ What’s in Your Cup?
Jay and Brian: Nicaragua Brand from Manitoba Canada https://greyridgecoffee.ca/
🔗 Connect with Us:
📚 References & Mentions:
FITNESS:
RobinsonEL, StGeorge J, Freeman EE. A Systematic Review of Father Child Play Interactions and the Impacts on Child Development. Children (Basel). 2021 May 13;8(5):389. doi: 10.3390/children8050389. PMID: 34068176; PMCID: PMC8153002.
NUTRITION:
Chu YL, Farmer A, Fung C, Kuhle S, Storey KE, Veugelers PJ. Involvement in home meal preparation is associated with food preference and self-efficacy among Canadian children. Public Health Nutr. 2013 Jan;16(1):108-12. doi: 10.1017/S1368980012001218. Epub 2012 May 11. PMID: 22578854; PMCID: PMC10271544.
MENTAL HEALTH:
Ibrahim MH, Somers JA, Luecken LJ, Fabricius WV, Cookston JT. Father-adolescent engagement in shared activities: Effects on cortisol stress response in young adulthood. J Fam Psychol. 2017 Jun;31(4):485-494. doi: 10.1037/fam0000259. Epub2016 Nov 3. PMID: 27808523; PMCID: PMC5415433.
RELATIONSHIPS:
Gibson, L. C. (2015). Adult children of emotionally immature parents: How to heal from distant, rejecting, or self-involved parents. New Harbinger Publications.
Hausner, L., & Freeman, D. K. (2009). The legacy family: The definitive guide to creating a successful multigenerational family. Palgrave Macmillan.
LIFELONG LEARNING:
Rollè, L., Gullotta, G., Trombetta, T., Curti, L., Gerino, E., Brustia, P., & Caldarera, A. M. (2019). Father involvement and cognitive development in early and middle childhood: A systematic review. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 2405. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02405
Stay strong. Stay curious. Stay connected.
SHOW NOTES
Episode 005: “Men’s Behaviour – The Good, The Bad, The Ugly”
In this episode of Coffee and Conversations for Men, we’re diving deep into a topic that hits home for a lot of us—but isn’t often unpacked in honest, vulnerable ways: men’s behaviour. From the way we show up in the gym to how we handle conflict, relationships, and our own emotional responses, male behaviour is shaped by everything from culture and upbringing to trauma and pride.
This episode isn’t about judgment—it’s about awareness. We take a look at what’s working (The Good), what needs a hard reset (The Bad), and what we really need to confront (The Ugly). Whether you're trying to grow, heal, or just understand yourself better, this conversation offers a mirror—and hopefully, a path forward.
We touch on how men’s behaviour affects fitness, food, mental health, relationships, and personal development. And of course, we serve up practical insights, personal stories, and action steps that you can take with you long after the episode ends.
Episode Highlights:
· 0.00 – Intro
· 0.58 – Disclaimer
· 1:53 - Overview
· 3:20 – What’s in your CUP?
· 4:45 – Why this TOPIC: Men’s Behaviour: The Good The Bad The Ugly
• 6:57 – Fitness:Masculine ideals around strength and toughness often lead to overtraining, ignoring pain, or treating health like a competition. We explore how to shift from ego-driven routines to self-respecting habits that support longevity and performance.
• 18:48– Nutrition:From bulking culture to restrictive diets, we look at the pressure men face to eat a certain way—and how this can impact both physical and mental health. Let’s talk about the importance of eating for yourself, not your image.
• 29:06 – Mental Health:Suppression, denial, and isolation—too often, men are taught to internalize their struggles. We break down how behavioral conditioning shapes emotional suppression, and why emotional expression isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.
• 39:01–Relationships:We’re getting real about how behaviors like defensiveness, emotional unavailability, or avoidance play out in romantic, platonic, and professional relationships. Spoiler: Emotional honesty and accountability are attractive.
• 49:00– Lifelong Learning:Some men resist change or new knowledge due to fear, ego, or deeply held beliefs. We explore how behavioural patterns can hold us back and how to embrace a mindset of curiosity, growth, and courage.
Throughout the episode, we challenge outdated notions of masculinity, highlight healthier ways to navigate life as a man, and encourage deeper reflection. It’s time to own the good, work through the bad, and face the ugly—with grace, grit, and a little humour.
What’s in your cup?
Grey Ridge Coffee https://greyridgecoffee.ca/
Connect with Us
References
FITNESS:
Matthews, M. (2012). Bigger leaner stronger: The simple science of building the ultimate male body. Legion Athletics.
Lee Hayward- @leemhayward
Matt Griffiths- @coach.mattgriffiths
Phil Robertson- @the_pr_method
Dirk Schultz- @dirkfitm3
NUTRITION:
University of Surrey. (2024,October 9). Having a sweet tooth is linked to higher risk of depression, diabetes, and stroke, study finds. ScienceDaily.Retrieved March 13, 2025 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2024/10/241009122507.htm
MENTAL HEALTH:
Howes, L. (2017). The mask of masculinity: How men can embrace vulnerability, create strong relationships, and live their fullest lives. New York, NY: Rodale Books.
RELATIONSHIPS:
Wisner, W.(2023, March 21). Anxious ambivalent attachment: An overview. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/anxious-ambivalent-attachment-overview-7369281
LIFELONG LEARNING:
Haddock-Millar, J., Stokes, P., & Dominguez, N. (2023). Towards a theory of reciprocal mentoring. In Reciprocalmentoring (1st ed., pp. 14). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781003302537
SHOW NOTES
Episode 004: “People-Pleasing: Setting Boundaries”
In this episode of Coffee and Conversations for MEN we dive into a topic that many men struggle with but often go unspoken: People-Pleasing. Too often, men feel pressured to say yes, be the fixer, and constantly prioritize others' needs over their own. This tendency can lead to burnout, resentment, and a loss of self-identity.
In this episode, we explore how people-pleasing behaviours show up in key areas of life—fitness, nutrition, mental health, relationships, and lifelong learning. We also discuss the importance of setting healthy boundaries, why it’s essential for personal growth, and how to reclaim your sense of self without guilt.
Episode Highlights:
03:39 – Fitness: How people-pleasing manifests in fitness routines, from overtraining to sacrificing your own health to meet others’ expectations. Plus, strategies to set boundaries and prioritize your health.
11:52 – Nutrition: The pressure to conform to diet trends or social expectations around food can lead to disordered eating or neglecting your own nutritional needs. We’ll discuss how to set boundaries around food choices and develop a healthy, individualized approach to eating.
21:38 – Mental Health: People-pleasing can lead to mental exhaustion and emotional burnout. We’ll unpack how setting boundaries can improve your emotional well-being and share tips on protecting your mental health from external pressures.
31:30 – Relationships: Constantly putting others first in relationships can strain your connections and leave you feeling unappreciated. We’ll talk about the importance of balancing give and take, and how to communicate your needs and set boundaries without fear of rejection.
41:18 – Lifelong Learning: The fear of disappointing others or falling short of expectations can prevent men from pursuing new skills or personal growth. We’ll explore how setting boundaries can help you focus on your development and overcome imposter syndrome.
Throughout the episode, we share practical advice, personal experiences, and actionable strategies to help you recognize people-pleasing tendencies and take steps toward healthier, more authentic living. By the end of this episode, you’ll have a clearer understanding of how to set boundaries without guilt and start reclaiming your time, energy, and peace of mind.
What in your cup?
Jay’s Cup. 22 SierraCoffee Company: Death from Above (Dark Roast)
https://22sierracoffee.com/pages/about-us
Brian’s Birch BarkCoffee Company. Two Spirit (Dark Roast)
https://birchbarkcoffeecompany.com/pages/about-birch-bark-coffee
Connect with Us:
Instagram: @coffeeandconversations4men
UTUBE: @CoffeeandConversationsforMEN
SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/7D150YdAR25cQiKoakjdx9
APPLE PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coffee-and-conversations-for-men/id1790889485
Email: coffeeandconversationsformen@gmail.com
References
FITNESS:
Cloud, H. (2012). The boundaries book: When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life. Zondervan.
NUTRITION:
Tribole, E., & Resch, E. (2012). Intuitive eating (3rd ed.). St. Martin's Press. ISBN 978-1-250-01418-4 (e-book)
Olien, D. (2017). SuperLife: The 5 Forces that Will Make You Healthy, Fit, and Eternally Awesome. HarperOne. https://superlife.com/superlife/
MENTAL HEALTH:
Brown, B. (2010). The gifts of imperfection: Let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are. Hazelden Publishing.
RELATIONSHIPS:
Sheldon, R. (2025). Setting healthy boundaries in relationships. Help Guide. https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/setting-healthy-boundaries-in-relationships
LIFELONG LEARNING:
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.
SHOW NOTES
Episode 003: “Behind the Mask:Tackling Insecurities in Fitness, Relationships, and Beyond”
In this episode of Behind the Mask, we dive deep into the universal struggle of insecurities—how they manifest in our fitness journeys, relationships, and other areas of life. Insecurities can quietly creep in and hold us back fromachieving our potential, whether it’s feeling inadequate in the gym, struggling with self-doubt in relationships, or facing fears that keep us from pursuing personal growth.
We’ll break down how insecurities show up in the five key pillars of life: Fitness, Nutrition, Mental Health, Relationships, and Lifelong Learning. More importantly, we’ll share actionable tips and insights to help you confront these feelings and work toward overcoming them.
Episode Highlights:
• 03:00– Fitness: How insecurities in the gym can hinder progress and ways to overcome self-doubt and build confidence through small wins.
• 16.03– Nutrition: Tacklingthe insecurities around body image and food choices, and how to create a healthier relationship with food.
• 31:43 – Mental Health:Understanding how self-doubt and negative thinking impact our mental well-being, plus practical strategies for building emotional resilience.
• 41:30– Relationships: How insecurities can affect communication, intimacy, and connection in relationships, and tips for building trust and confidence with others.
• 52:30 – Lifelong Learning:Overcoming the fear of failure and imposter syndrome when pursuing new skills, personal growth, or career development.
Throughout the episode, we share personal stories, real-world examples, and practical tips to help you tackle insecurities head-on and start living a more empowered, authentic life.
References
Fitness
Anderson, E., & Shivakumar, G. (2013). Effects of exercise and physical activity on anxiety. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 4, 27. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2013.00027
Nutrition
Wang, Y., McKee, M., Torbica, A., & Stuckler, D. (2019). Systematic literature review on the spread of health-related misinformation on social media. Social Science & Medicine, 240, 112552. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2019.112552
Reno, T., & Kennedy, R. (2021). The Eat-Clean Diet for Men: Your ironclad plan to a lean physique. Robert Kennedy Publishing.
Dooner, C. (2019). The Fck It Diet:Eating should be easy (eBook edition). Harper Wave. https://forums.onlinebookclub.org/viewtopic.php?t=499159
Mental Health
Jaspan, J. (2019, August 21). Howinsecurities impact mental health. High Focus Centers. https://pa.highfocuscenters.com/insecurities-impact-mental-health/#:~:text=Working%20as%20a%20therapist%20for,disorders%20and%20substance%20use%20disorders
Relationships
Fortson, M. (2020). Emotional support, self-esteem, and adult attachment styles as predictors for relational well-being in romantic relationships (Publication No. 27995496)[Doctoral dissertation, Capella University]. ProQuest Dissertations & Thesis.
Lifelong learning
McCombs, B. L. (1991). Motivation and LifelongLearning. Educational Psychologist, 26(2), 117–127. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15326985ep2602_4
Wilson, J. (2022). The man the moment demands: Master the 10characteristics of the comprehensive man. Gallery Books.
.
What’s inyour CUP?
Jay’s cup Kicking Horse Coffee Com. Three Sisters.Medium Roast https://kickinghorsecoffee.com/collections/medium-roast
Brian’s cup JackUp Coffee Com. Last Christmas. https://www.jackedupcoffee.com/
LINKS
INSTAGRAM~ @coffeeandconversations4men
EMAIL- CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.com
UTUBE- www.youtube.com/@CoffeeandConversationsforMEN
#MenMentoringMen#MindfulMen #CoffeeandConversationsforMEN #WellnessWarrior #Mindfulness#PersonalGrowth #MasculinityRedefined #MenSupportingMen #BALANCE #SelfDiscovery#PositiveMasculinity #MentalHealthMatters #EmpoweredMen #Discipline
SHOW NOTES
Episode 002: “From Stuck to Unstoppable: The DisciplineBlueprint for Men”
In this episode of Coffee and Conversation for Men, Jay and Brian dive into the power of discipline and how it’s key to unlocking your potential. Discipline isn’t just about willpower—it’s about building systems, habits, and mindsets that keep you moving forward. They explore how discipline impacts fitness, nutrition, mental health, relationships, and lifelong learning, helping men go from “stuck” to “unstoppable.”
If consistency’s been a struggle, this episode offers practical strategies to harness discipline and transform your life.
Episode Highlights:
02:24 – Fitness: The role of discipline in building strength and momentum through consistent exercise.
14:40 – Nutrition: Why disciplined eating fuels your body and mind for better focus and well-being.
25:30 – Mental Health: How maintaining mental health habits like meditation and journaling builds emotional resilience.
38:18 – Relationships: How disciplined communication and time management strengthen connections with others.
45:00 – Lifelong Learning: The importance of disciplined learning for personal and professionalgrowth.
Jay and Brian share actionable tips and real-life examples to help you apply discipline in every area of life and become your best, unstoppable self.
REFERENCES
FITNESS & DISCIPLINE
Boat R, Cooper SB. Self-Control and Exercise: A Review ofthe Bi-Directional Relationship. Brain Plast. 2019 Dec 26;5(1):97-104. doi: 10.3233/BPL-190082. PMID: 31970063; PMCID: PMC6971834.
Marcus, A. (2018). Own the day, own your life:Optimized practices for waking, working, learning, eating, training, playing, sleeping, and sex. HarperCollins.
NUTRITION & DISCIPLINE
Helland MH, Nordbotten GL. Dietary Changes, Motivators, and Barriers Affecting Diet and Physical Activity among Overweight and Obese: AMixed Methods Approach. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021 Oct 9;18(20):10582.
@healthyathome905
https://www.hellofresh.ca/?locale=en-CA
Olien, D. (2016). Super life: The 5 forces that will make you healthy, fit, and eternally awesome. HarperCollins.
MENTAL HEALTH & DISCIPLINE
Menefee DS, Ledoux T, Johnston CA. The Importance ofEmotional Regulation in Mental Health. Am J Lifestyle Med. 2022 Jan 12;16(1):28-31.
Sparvell, M. (2024). Good brain, bad brain: How the brain's wiring makes us who we are. Independently Published. @sparvell
Maté, G. (2000). Scattered minds: The origin of andsolutions for attention deficit disorder. Vintage Canada
RELATIONSHIPS & DISCIPLINE
Zuo PY, Karremans JC, Scheres A, Kluwer ES, Burk WJ, KappenG, Ter Kuile H. A Dyadic Test of the Association Between Trait Self-Control and Romantic Relationship Satisfaction. Front Psychol. 2020 Dec 21;11:594476.
Shetty, J. (2023). 8 rules of love: How to find it, keep it,and let it go. First Simon & Schuster hardcover edition. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.
LIFELONG LEARNING & RELATIONSHIP
Cordero, Y. (2024, October 23). The role of discipline insuccess. Brian Tracy Publishing. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/role-discipline-success-brian-tracy-publishing-pjmxc/
Bishop, G. J. (2019). Stop doing that sh!t: Endself-sabotage and demand your life back. Harper One.
Bishop, G. J. (2022). Love unf*cked: Get your relationshipright. HarperOne.
What’s in your cup?
Jay’s cup Black Rifle Coffee “Spirit of ‘76”
@blackriflecoffeeshops
Brian’s cup Canter Coffee “White ChocolateMacadamia Nut” Latte
@canter_coffee
LINKS
INSTAGRAM~ @coffeeandconversations4men
EMAIL- CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.com
#MenMentoringMen #MindfulMen #CoffeeandConversationsforMEN #WellnessWarrior #Mindfulness #PersonalGrowth #MasculinityRedefined #MenSupportingMen #Discipline #SelfDiscovery#PositiveMasculinity #MentalHealthMatters #EmpoweredMen
SHOW NOTES
001 | Episode: More than MUSCLES: Creating BALANCE in Fitness, Food,Mindset, and MORE
In this inaugural episode of Coffee and Conversations for Men, Jay and Brian dive deep into the key areas that contribute to a balanced and fulfilling life: physical fitness, nutrition, mental health, relationships, and lifelong learning. They explore how these five pillars interconnect to enhance well-being, reduce stress, and foster resilience.
EpisodeHighlights:
• 03:32 ~ Fitness: How exercise influences both physical andmental health, boosting energy and resilience.
• 12:58 ~ Nutrition: Fueling your body and mind for improvedfocus, health, and success.
• 22:48 ~ Mental Health: The importance of prioritizing mentalwell-being for a strong foundation in all aspects of life.
• 32:47 ~ Relationships: Building emotional support throughhealthy connections with family, friends, and partners.
• 42:40 ~ Lifelong Learning: Staying adaptable and sharp byembracing continuous growth and self-improvement.
Jay and Brian’s engaging conversation offers practical advice and insights to help you find balance in your own life. Whether you're juggling responsibilities or seeking personal growth, this episode will provide the tools to build a more fulfilling, well-rounded lifestyle.
REFERENCES
Fitness
Xu L, Gu H, Cai X, Zhang Y, Hou X, Yu J, Sun T. The Effects of Exercise for Cognitive Function in Older Adults: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis ofRandomized Controlled Trials. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023 Jan 7;20(2):1088. doi: 10.3390/ijerph20021088. PMID: 36673844; PMCID: PMC9858649.
Nutrition
Works, H. P., NY, N., Rupa, O., & Patient, F. A. Q. (2023). Functional Nutrition Strategies for Weight Management and Metabolic Health. Nutrition.
Mental Health
McKenzie SK, Oliffe JL, Black A, Collings S. Men's Experiences of Mental Illness Stigma Across the Lifespan: A Scoping Review. Am J Men’s Health. 2022 Jan-Feb;16(1):15579883221074789. doi: 10.1177/15579883221074789. PMID: 35125015; PMCID: PMC8832600.
Relationships
Pezirkianidis, C., Galanaki, E., Raftopoulou, G., Moraitou, D., & Stalikas, A. (2023). Adult Friendship and Wellbeing: A Systematic Review with Practical Implications. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, 1059057. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1059057
LifelongLearning
Leanos, S., Kürüm, E., Strickland-Hughes, C. M., Ditta, A. S., Nguyen, G., Felix, M., Yum, H., Rebok, G. W., & Wu, R. (2023). The Impact of Learning Multiple Real-World Skills on Cognitive Abilities and Functional Independence in Healthy Older Adults. The Journals of Gerontology: SeriesB, Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, 78(8), 1305–1317. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbad053
What’s in Your Cup?
Jay's cup: Black Rifle Coffee "Spirit of ‘76"
About Us | Veteran Founded
@blackriflecoffeeshops
Brian's cup: Velvet Sunrise “San Sebastian”
Great Coffee for the French Press by Velvet Sunrise Coffee Roasters
@velvetsunrisecoffee
Links
Instagram: @coffeeandconversations4men
Email: CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.com
Let us knowwhat topics you’d like to hear more about!
#MenMentoringMen#MindfulMen #CoffeeandConversationsforMEN #WellnessWarrior #Mindfulness#PersonalGrowth #MasculinityRedefined #MenSupportingMen #BALANCE #SelfDiscovery#PositiveMasculinity #MentalHealthMatters #EmpoweredMen