SHOW NOTES
Episode 004: “People-Pleasing: Setting Boundaries”
In this episode of Coffee and Conversations for MEN we dive into a topic that many men struggle with but often go unspoken: People-Pleasing. Too often, men feel pressured to say yes, be the fixer, and constantly prioritize others' needs over their own. This tendency can lead to burnout, resentment, and a loss of self-identity.
In this episode, we explore how people-pleasing behaviours show up in key areas of life—fitness, nutrition, mental health, relationships, and lifelong learning. We also discuss the importance of setting healthy boundaries, why it’s essential for personal growth, and how to reclaim your sense of self without guilt.
Episode Highlights:
03:39 – Fitness: How people-pleasing manifests in fitness routines, from overtraining to sacrificing your own health to meet others’ expectations. Plus, strategies to set boundaries and prioritize your health.
11:52 – Nutrition: The pressure to conform to diet trends or social expectations around food can lead to disordered eating or neglecting your own nutritional needs. We’ll discuss how to set boundaries around food choices and develop a healthy, individualized approach to eating.
21:38 – Mental Health: People-pleasing can lead to mental exhaustion and emotional burnout. We’ll unpack how setting boundaries can improve your emotional well-being and share tips on protecting your mental health from external pressures.
31:30 – Relationships: Constantly putting others first in relationships can strain your connections and leave you feeling unappreciated. We’ll talk about the importance of balancing give and take, and how to communicate your needs and set boundaries without fear of rejection.
41:18 – Lifelong Learning: The fear of disappointing others or falling short of expectations can prevent men from pursuing new skills or personal growth. We’ll explore how setting boundaries can help you focus on your development and overcome imposter syndrome.
Throughout the episode, we share practical advice, personal experiences, and actionable strategies to help you recognize people-pleasing tendencies and take steps toward healthier, more authentic living. By the end of this episode, you’ll have a clearer understanding of how to set boundaries without guilt and start reclaiming your time, energy, and peace of mind.
What in your cup?
Jay’s Cup. 22 SierraCoffee Company: Death from Above (Dark Roast)
https://22sierracoffee.com/pages/about-us
Brian’s Birch BarkCoffee Company. Two Spirit (Dark Roast)
https://birchbarkcoffeecompany.com/pages/about-birch-bark-coffee
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References
FITNESS:
Cloud, H. (2012). The boundaries book: When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life. Zondervan.
NUTRITION:
Tribole, E., & Resch, E. (2012). Intuitive eating (3rd ed.). St. Martin's Press. ISBN 978-1-250-01418-4 (e-book)
Olien, D. (2017). SuperLife: The 5 Forces that Will Make You Healthy, Fit, and Eternally Awesome. HarperOne. https://superlife.com/superlife/
MENTAL HEALTH:
Brown, B. (2010). The gifts of imperfection: Let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are. Hazelden Publishing.
RELATIONSHIPS:
Sheldon, R. (2025). Setting healthy boundaries in relationships. Help Guide. https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/setting-healthy-boundaries-in-relationships
LIFELONG LEARNING:
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.