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Returning to Us
Lauren Spigelmyer & Jessica Doering
217 episodes
2 days ago
In this episode, Lauren explores how organizations can move beyond burnout to build lasting staff retention through the Three M’s: Moments, Memories, and Meaning. She explains that small daily interactions, shared experiences, and a sense of purpose create connection, stability, and momentum. True retention, she says, isn’t just about keeping people; it’s about helping them thrive. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff S...
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Mental Health
Education,
Kids & Family,
Health & Fitness,
Parenting
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All content for Returning to Us is the property of Lauren Spigelmyer & Jessica Doering and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
In this episode, Lauren explores how organizations can move beyond burnout to build lasting staff retention through the Three M’s: Moments, Memories, and Meaning. She explains that small daily interactions, shared experiences, and a sense of purpose create connection, stability, and momentum. True retention, she says, isn’t just about keeping people; it’s about helping them thrive. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff S...
Show more...
Mental Health
Education,
Kids & Family,
Health & Fitness,
Parenting
Episodes (20/217)
Returning to Us
Retain: Sustaining Staff, Culture, and Capacity
In this episode, Lauren explores how organizations can move beyond burnout to build lasting staff retention through the Three M’s: Moments, Memories, and Meaning. She explains that small daily interactions, shared experiences, and a sense of purpose create connection, stability, and momentum. True retention, she says, isn’t just about keeping people; it’s about helping them thrive. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff S...
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2 days ago
35 minutes

Returning to Us
Reinforce- Ensuring that Change becomes Cultural Muscle Memory
In this episode, Lauren dives into Reinforce, the third phase of the Staff Sustainability Program. After moving through relief and reset, this stage is about turning new, healthy patterns into lasting habits that define an organization’s culture. She shares how repetition, reflection, and consistent routines help build stability, trust, and regulation across teams. By focusing on reinforcement, organizations can move beyond short-term fixes and create a culture of well-being that truly lasts....
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1 week ago
28 minutes

Returning to Us
Reset: Moving from Relief to Real Transformation
In this episode, Lauren explores what it means for organizations to truly reset after burnout. She shares how leaders and teams can move from short-term fixes to lasting change by addressing root causes, rebuilding trust, and fostering compassion-driven accountability. Through small, consistent practices and reflective leadership, Lauren shows how organizations can build cultures that support well-being, connection, and sustainable growth. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior B...
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2 weeks ago
35 minutes

Returning to Us
Stage 1: Relieve — Stabilizing in Survival Mode
In this episode, Lauren explores why many organizations try to build sustainability while running on empty and how real change begins with creating relief. She shares how survival mode shows up through reactivity and disconnection and offers practical ways for leaders and teams to calm their systems, rebuild trust, and create the foundation for lasting change. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff Sustainability Sy...
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3 weeks ago
37 minutes

Returning to Us
Why Women in Leadership Micromanage
In the second episode of the Staff Sustainability series, Lauren explores why women in leadership often turn to micromanagement and how it’s rooted in stress, trauma, and cultural expectations. She shares practical steps to move from control to co-regulation, helping leaders build safer, more sustainable workplaces grounded in trust and collaboration. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff Sustainability System a pr...
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1 month ago
34 minutes

Returning to Us
Understanding Burnout & Turnover in Trauma-Impacted Organizations
In this episode, Lauren launches a new series on staff sustainability and explores the hidden costs of burnout and turnover in trauma-impacted organizations. She shares why quick fixes like pizza parties or gift cards fall flat and how deeper systemic change is needed. Through the lens of the nervous system, Lauren reframes burnout as a collective issue rather than an individual failing. She explains how creating cultures of belonging, safety, and regulation can shift organizations from survi...
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1 month ago
24 minutes

Returning to Us
The Five Ives Hot Seat: Honest Answers for Hard Questions
In this Q&A episode, Lauren tackles some of the most pressing challenges organizations face including burnout, high turnover, and behavior struggles in both staff and students. She explains how the Five Ives framework, rooted in nervous system science and trauma-informed care, offers practical micro-strategies that boost morale, improve regulation, and create sustainable cultural shifts without adding extra burdens. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredit...
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1 month ago
20 minutes

Returning to Us
The Regulated Team: Creating Cultures That Breathe
In this episode, Lauren unpacks how nervous system regulation shapes workplace culture. She explains how stress and micromanagement spread through teams, and why leaders who model calm can shift an entire organization. Lauren also shares simple rituals like intentional meeting openings, midday resets, and predictable rhythms that help teams move from survival mode to thriving together. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Other related resources f...
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1 month ago
28 minutes

Returning to Us
No Off Switch: Why Regulation Belongs in All Your Roles
In this episode, Jessica explores how nervous system regulation shows up across the many roles we play, whether we’re leading, teaching, parenting, or supporting others on the front lines. She explains why our nervous system doesn’t switch hats when we do, and how our presence impacts the people around us in every setting. Jessica offers practical strategies for bringing calm, steady energy into classrooms, meetings, and family life. From co-regulating with students to repairing after rupture...
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1 month ago
13 minutes

Returning to Us
“Why wasn’t I good enough?”: Walking Away from What Wasn’t Meant for You
In this heartfelt episode, Jessica turns toward a question many of us have wrestled with: Why wasn’t I good enough? Drawing from her own experiences with rejection, criticism, and seasons of struggle, she reflects on how painful moments can shape our identity, hold us back, and make us doubt our worth. Jessica invites listeners to reframe those experiences not as proof of inadequacy, but as protection from what was never meant for them. Through stories, encouragement, and gentle guidance, she...
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2 months ago
20 minutes

Returning to Us
Can’t Sleep, Can’t Think? Resetting Rhythms That Rule Your Day
In this episode, Lauren explores the hidden power of daily rhythms and how they shape our ability to stay calm, focused, and resilient. From sleep and meal times to email habits and screen use, she shows how predictable patterns support the nervous system and how disruptions can quietly lead to stress and dysregulation. She shares why building consistent routines matters, offers examples of small shifts like winding down without screens or adding rhythmic movement, and explains practical ways...
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2 months ago
20 minutes

Returning to Us
Taming Transitions: Tiny Rituals That Calm Big Shifts
Transitions are everywhere from shifting between tasks at work to moving through family routines and they can quietly dysregulate us. In this episode, Lauren shares why these moments feel so disruptive and how tiny rituals can anchor them, bringing calm and predictability. Discover simple, sustainable practices like a breath after a meeting, calming music before bed, or a quick stretch at the end of the day that turn daily shifts into opportunities for grounding and resilience. Sign up for ...
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2 months ago
18 minutes

Returning to Us
Spaces that Regulate
In this episode, Lauren takes a thoughtful look at the often overlooked impact our environments have on regulation and well-being. She explores how seemingly small elements like lighting, layout, sound, and even clutter can either support or sabotage our nervous systems. Drawing from both personal examples and brain-based strategies, Lauren shows how to create spaces that cue safety and calm, whether at home, in a classroom, or in an office. She also shares quick, practical ways to regulate w...
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2 months ago
20 minutes

Returning to Us
Part 2: Regulation in the Real World
In this episode, Lauren dives into the real world challenges of creating a morning routine that supports nervous system regulation, especially when life feels chaotic. She breaks down the morning into four key parts and offers practical, compassionate strategies for bringing more calm and intention to each one, from wake up rituals to the first interaction of the workday. Whether your mornings start in a sprint or you’re just looking for a little more stability, this conversation reminds us t...
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3 months ago
21 minutes

Returning to Us
Part 1: Regulation in the Real World
In this episode, Lauren explores what it really means to regulate in the midst of everyday chaos. Building on the Five Ives framework she and her partner developed, she explains why common strategies like breathwork or meditation often fall flat when we are overwhelmed and in survival mode. Regulation, she reminds us, is not about staying calm all the time. It is about noticing when we are dysregulated and learning how to recover quickly and effectively. Lauren shares practical, real world to...
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3 months ago
20 minutes

Returning to Us
How to Get Kids to Cooperate Without Power Struggles
Today Lauren is looking at what drives power struggles with kids and how we can respond in ways that build cooperation rather than conflict. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or work with children in any capacity, the strategies shared here offer a helpful shift away from control-based approaches and toward connection-driven responses. Lauren unpacks why so many common discipline tactics fall short and offers practical tools like giving voice and choice, using visual supports, and planning ah...
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3 months ago
28 minutes

Returning to Us
What Happens When Consequences Backfire
If you've been questioning why traditional consequences often fail to create meaningful behavior change, this is for you. Lauren walks through the whys of this failure and how traditional consequences may harm relationships and regulation. She unpacks common disciplinary practices and explains how these strategies can backfire when they’re disconnected from emotional support and repair. Instead of punishing behaviors, Lauren encourages us to understand the nervous system and the unmet needs d...
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3 months ago
20 minutes

Returning to Us
Helping Children Catch your Calm with Nervous System Co-Regulation
In this episode, Lauren explores the importance of adult emotional regulation when navigating children’s challenging behaviors. She emphasizes that outbursts aren’t personal—they’re rooted in a dysregulated nervous system. By staying calm and composed, adults can create a sense of safety that allows children to begin co-regulating. Lauren shares practical strategies like pausing before responding, reframing the moment, and using grounding techniques to manage your own emotional state. She rem...
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4 months ago
20 minutes

Returning to Us
Chaos to Connection
Today Lauren is setting the stage for a new series that encourages a shift from managing behavioral chaos to building meaningful connections, especially in classrooms. Lauren uses examples from her personal experience to illustrate how the idea of connection as biologically essential and the foundation for all emotional regulation shows up in the real world. Lauren offers simple, practical routines to foster connection: consistent morning greetings, regular emotional check-ins, and environmen...
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4 months ago
22 minutes

Returning to Us
Part 2: Behavior isn't the Problem
In this episode, Lauren continues exploring the connection between behavior and the nervous system, focusing on the stress responses known as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. She encourages us to look beyond the surface of behaviors like hitting, screaming, or shutting down and ask what’s driving them. These reactions aren’t choices—they’re subconscious responses to feeling unsafe. Lauren breaks down how each state might show up in children: fight can look like defiance or aggression, flight ...
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4 months ago
17 minutes

Returning to Us
In this episode, Lauren explores how organizations can move beyond burnout to build lasting staff retention through the Three M’s: Moments, Memories, and Meaning. She explains that small daily interactions, shared experiences, and a sense of purpose create connection, stability, and momentum. True retention, she says, isn’t just about keeping people; it’s about helping them thrive. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff S...