In this episode of The Reclamation Room, I’m sitting down with Wendy Alexander, author of Internal Uprising and founder of Happy Career Hub.
Wendy’s story is powerful. She grew up through the worst years of apartheid in South Africa, then moved to Australia where her first job ended in an armed robbery. Later, after escaping an abusive relationship, she started over completely as a single mom. And through all of that, she found her way back to herself.
Now, through her writing and her work, Wendy helps women who’ve felt silenced by trauma learn to trust themselves again, reclaim their identity, and start fresh with clarity. We talk about the quiet kind of resilience that doesn’t always get seen, how writing can help you heal, and how important it is to have people around you who remind you of your strength when you forget.
Key Takeaways:
- Resilience grows through openness and self-trust
- Writing can help you process and reconnect with your truth
- Supportive voices matter more than we realize!
- Starting over doesn’t erase your past. It integrates it.
- Healing takes time, patience, and compassion
- You can rebuild your life at any stage
- Strength doesn’t mean hard. It can look soft too!
Connect with Wendy:
Website: happycareerhub.com
LinkedIn: wendyaalexander
Join the Community + Support the Show
Join my free weekly women’s call on Tuesdays to go deeper and experience live coaching. We also have a private community where the conversation continues.
Rate the show: If this episode spoke to you, please consider following The Reclamation Room, give it a 5-star rating, and share it with a friend who might need this reminder. It helps us grow and keeps these conversations going.
Be a guest on the show or invite me onto yours: Message me on Podmatch!
Thanks for listening! 💛
In this episode of The Reclamation Room, I’m talking about the heavy shame that shows up after betrayal, the “how could I have been so stupid,” “why did I trust them,” “I can’t believe I wasted years” kind of shame.
I share why those thoughts make sense, how they’re your brain trying to find safety, and why the part of you that loved with an open heart is not the problem. That tender, generous version of you is sacred. She deserves protection and care, not punishment. We’ll talk about how to hold boundaries without hardening, how to turn regret into wisdom, and how to come home to the self who still believes in love.
You’ll walk away with simple, grounded practices to move from self-blame to self-respect, protect your open heart, and rebuild trust with yourself.
Key Takeaways:
• Shame after betrayal is a signal, not a verdict.
• My open heart isn’t what failed me. Manipulation did.
• Boundaries are love in action.
• Self-compassion turns regret into wisdom.
• I didn’t waste years. I learned what love isn’t.
• I can stay soft and still be safe.
• The part of me that trusted still deserves care.
Join the Community + Support the Work💛 Join my free weekly women’s call on Tuesdays to go deeper and experience live coaching! We also have a private community where the conversation continues. You can find me any time at WayHomeWellness.com.
Rate the show: Please give this show a follow, rate it out of 5 stars, and share with a friend or loved one who you know might love it! This helps us reach more viewers and get more conversations happening around healing, learning, and love.
Be a guest on the show, or invite me onto yours: Message me on Podmatch!
In this episode of The Reclamation Room, we’re talking about what it really looks like to come home to your body when hormones, thyroid health, and everyday stress have taken a toll.
Kate Gregory shares her story of navigating hormone and thyroid challenges, and how learning to listen to her body changed everything. We dive into how thyroid and adrenal health are deeply connected, the pressure women carry, and why self-compassion is a powerful part of healing.
You’ll walk away with simple, holistic tools to support your energy, mood, and sense of balance, without overcomplicating your wellness.
About Kate
Kate Gregory is a Women’s Holistic Hormone Practitioner who helps women fix their periods, boost their energy, and actually feel good again. She lives in Texas with her husband and three kiddos and loves rewatching The Office or spending time outdoors.
Key Takeaways:
• Thyroid and adrenal health are deeply connected.
• Understanding your body is an act of self trust.
• Rest and self compassion are medicine, not luxuries.
• Holistic healing helps you reclaim your energy and voice.
• Being a woman isn’t a burden, it’s a superpower.
Resources Mentioned
📚 Anne of Green Gables — a story of innocence, imagination, and finding belonging.
📚 The Nightingale — a reminder of women’s resilience and quiet strength.
Connect With Kate
Mini-course: Energy Reboot (use code RECLAIM for 20% off)
https://www.queenbeehormonehealth.com/energy-reboot
Free private podcast: Understanding Your Hormones
https://www.queenbeehormonehealth.com/private-podcast
Instagram: @queenbeehormonehealth
Email: kate@queenbeehormonehealth.com
Join the Community + Support the Work
💛 Join my free weekly women’s call on Tuesdays to go deeper and experience live coaching.
💜 Support our mission with Break the Silence Alabama:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ashana/bring-real-survivor-stories-to-national-tv
Be a guest on the show, or invite me onto yours: Message me on Podmatch!
In this episode of The Reclamation Room, we’re getting honest about what it really feels like to handle conflict when you’ve been through narcissistic abuse.
It’s not about “winning” or keeping the peace at any cost! It’s about staying grounded, protecting your energy, and choosing what actually serves you.
I’ll walk you through the PACE Method, a simple framework to help you move through hard conversations without losing yourself. We’ll talk about what it means to slow down, check your reality, and speak from self worth instead of survival mode.
Conflict doesn’t have to mean chaos. You can handle it with clarity, compassion, and confidence, and I hope this episode will help you get there.
Key Takeaways
You don’t have to fear conflict — it can actually be a place for growth.
Pause to get grounded before reacting.
Assess what’s really happening, not what your fear is saying.
Communicate your boundaries calmly and clearly.
Exit or Engage intentionally — both are powerful choices.
Your worth doesn’t disappear in conflict; it shows up when you honor your peace.
Confidence in conflict comes with practice, awareness, and support.
💛 Join my free weekly women’s call on Tuesdays to dive deeper into these topics and experience coaching in real time
If this conversation resonates, please subscribe and leave a rating. It helps The Reclamation Room reach more women reclaiming their emotional power.
💜 If this podcast and my work with Break the Silence Alabama speaks to you, you can support our mission by contributing to our Kickstarter campaign to bring survivor stories to national television: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ashana/bring-real-survivor-stories-to-national-tv Every pledge, share, and word of encouragement helps amplify this mission. Thank you for being part of the movement to break the silence. 💜
Be a guest on the show: message me on PodMatch!
In this episode of The Reclamation Room, I’m sitting down with Amanda Baker to explore a topic that’s at the heart of so many of our healing journeys: the complex relationship between empathy and narcissism.
If you’ve ever felt drained, confused, or triggered by someone’s behaviors and wondered why you keep showing up the way you do, this conversation is for you.
We get into how both empaths and narcissists often stem from similar wounds, why curiosity is such a powerful tool for growth, and how therapy and relational healing can guide us toward reclaiming our emotional lives.
Here’s what we explore together:
✨ How empaths and narcissists can share the same core wounds
✨ Why both patterns are rooted in protection, not malice
✨ Recognizing your own patterns as a key step toward healing
✨ Using curiosity instead of fear to break destructive cycles
✨ The difference between validating your feelings versus rescuing yourself
✨ Coping mechanisms, how they help and how they can hurt
✨ Why therapy is not just about feeling better but learning how to feel fully
✨ Connecting with others for relational growth
✨ Becoming curious with both your shadow and light for holistic healing
This episode might feel a little intense, but leaning into discomfort is where transformation happens. When we start noticing our patterns with curiosity and compassion, that’s when real healing begins.
💛 Join my free weekly women’s call on Tuesdays to dive deeper into these topics and experience coaching in real time
If this conversation resonates, please subscribe and leave a rating. It helps The Reclamation Room reach more women reclaiming their emotional power.
💜 Connect with Amanda Baker
Website: amandabakerwrites.com
💜 Support the Movement
If this podcast and my work with Break the Silence Alabama speaks to you, you can support our mission by contributing to our Kickstarter campaign to bring survivor stories to national television: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ashana/bring-real-survivor-stories-to-national-tv
Every pledge, share, and word of encouragement helps amplify this mission. Thank you for being part of the movement to break the silence. 💜
In this solo episode of The Reclamation Room, I’m diving into one of the most misunderstood (and honestly, probably triggering) parts of healing and relationships: the fine line between setting a boundary, being a doormat, and unconsciously trying to manipulate the other person.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I holding a boundary or am I being abusive, too?” this one’s for you.
We’ll explore how self-accountability isn’t about shaming yourself, but about developing the awareness that leads to real discernment: something many of us didn’t learn if we grew up around chaos, narcissism, or emotional immaturity.
Here’s what we get into:
✨ Why awareness must come before healthy boundaries
✨ The sneaky ways we can manipulate situations (even when our intentions are good)
✨ How self-compassion helps you face your “unregulated” or “unpolished” parts
✨ What real discernment might look like when you’re learning to trust yourself again
✨ The difference between setting a boundary to protect peace vs. control to receive connection
✨ How to protect your needs without losing your dignity, patience, or softness
This episode might make you a little uncomfortable.. and that’s the point. Growth comes outside of the comfort zone, right?
When we start getting curious about why we do what we do, but with self-compassion rather than judgment, that’s when transformation happens.
If you’re ready to get radically self-honest, deepen your self-awareness, and learn how to hold space for both your needs and your humanity, this conversation will meet you right where you are.
💛 Join my free weekly women’s call on Tuesdays to explore these topics in community, and get a feel for how I coach in real time.
And if this episode resonates, please hit subscribe or leave a quick rating! It helps The Reclamation Room reach more women who are reclaiming their truth, one boundary at a time.
💜 Support the MovementIf this podcast and my work with Break the Silence Alabama speaks to you, I’d love your support. We’re currently running a Kickstarter campaign to help bring survivor stories to national television: raising awareness, inspiring healing, and creating real change around domestic violence recovery.
You can learn more and contribute here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ashana/bring-real-survivor-stories-to-national-tv
Every share, pledge, and word of encouragement helps amplify this mission. Thank you for being part of this movement to break the silence. 💜
In this episode of The Reclamation Room, I’m joined by my dear friend Sonya Luna: a life coach, acupuncturist, and one of the most authentic & hilarious humans I know. She actually invites me to share part of my story in this episode! So much fun. Join us as we sit down for a powerful conversation about healing from narcissistic abuse.
If you’ve ever questioned your reality, felt stuck in a trauma bond you know isn’t healthy, or struggled to trust yourself again after gaslighting and manipulation, you’re not alone. This conversation goes right to the heart of what makes recovery so complex, and why it’s also so profoundly transformative.
Here’s what we get into:
Why cognitive dissonance keeps us stuck (and how to start breaking free)
How the trauma bond forms and what it actually takes to untangle from it
The deeper layers of the “mother wound” and disconnection from the divine feminine
How your body’s wisdom can guide you through healing
Small, practical ways to rebuild self-trust, self-love, and sovereignty
We also talk about how narcissistic abuse isn’t just an individual issue: it’s a reflection of a larger cultural disconnection from empathy, intuition, and nature. Healing yourself ripples outward. 💛
If you’re in the messy middle of untangling from abuse or learning to love yourself again, this episode is a reminder that you’re not broken: you’re reclaiming.
And if this conversation resonates with you, please hit subscribe or leave a rating. It helps this space reach the women who need it most. 💛
In this episode of The Reclamation Room, I’m talking about something called chronotrauma: the way trauma messes with our sense of time. If you’ve ever felt stuck in the past, trapped or restless in the present, or like future dreams might not even exist for you, you’re not alone. That’s what chronotrauma feels like.
The good news is, our brains are designed for change! Healing really is possible. And it doesn’t take giant leaps- it takes small, steady steps that add up over time.
Here’s what we’ll get into:
How trauma can distort the way we experience past, present, and future
What it looks like to actually map out your timeline for clarity
Simple tools to anchor yourself in the present when you feel stuck
Why resilience builds slowly, and why that’s a good thing
If you’ve ever wondered why time feels different after trauma, or how to reclaim your timeline so you can move forward, this one’s for you. 💛
And if something here lands for you, go ahead and hit subscribe or drop a rating! It helps this little corner of the internet find the people who need it most. Thanks for being here.
References mentioned in this episode:
A few of the articles I mentioned in my research:
In this episode of The Reclamation Room, I’m joined by my dear friend Melissa Yates, who so beautifully and bravely shares parts of her story and what’s helped her along the path of healing after narcissistic abuse and emotional trauma.
This conversation is raw, real, and full of heart. We talk about what it means to choose a different path than the one modeled by your abusers, how honesty can be one of the deepest forms of love, and why suppressing anger can quietly show up as illness in the body.
We also explore:
How writing and creative expression can be deeply cathartic
Why therapy can look like so much more than just talking
The ways past relationships can shape our current patterns
What it means to stay compassionate without self-abandoning
A few gentle, healthy coping tools to lean on as you heal
And the reminder that rebuilding is a choice — and it starts with a single step
Melissa’s story is such a powerful reminder that healing isn’t linear, and you don’t have to have it all figured out to start. If you’ve ever felt stuck, alone, or unsure where to even begin, this conversation is for you. 💛
Links mentioned in this episode:
Check out my weekly Women's support call, held every Tuesday evening
If you found something here that resonated, go ahead and tap subscribe and drop a quick rating — it helps this little corner of the internet reach more hearts who need it. Thanks for listening!
Hey friends! In this episode, I’m diving into something every woman healing from narcissistic abuse or tough pasts needs to hear. Those “safe vs. unsafe” relationship tips online? They’re helpful, but they can mess with your head.. especially when someone turns them against you or you start questioning if you’re the problem.
I’m sharing a simple, powerful way to cut through the confusion and trust yourself again. No overthinking, no labels, just you and your gut. Tune in to learn how to spot what’s right (or wrong) for you in relationships and why that’s the key to reclaiming your power.
Key Takeaways:
* “Safe vs. unsafe” lists don’t always tell the full story.
* Your gut knows when something’s off—trust it.
* Healthy communication is about mutual understanding.
* Authentic sharing can reduce superficial oversharing.
* Labels can complicate emotional experiences.
* What you can do in the moment and as you're healing looking back.
Links Mentioned:
Learn more about trauma recovery coaching at yournorthstarrising.com
Join our weekly call for support and community: yournorthstarrising.com/weekly-womens-circle
If this episode resonates with you, please take a moment to rate and review The Reclamation Room. Your support helps amplify these conversations and makes it easier for others on their healing journey to find us.
Thanks for listening!
In this episode of The Reclamation Room, I sit down with Margaret, a therapist-turned-dating coach who helps women break free from the cycle of dating the same type of guy over and over again.
We dig into why so many of us get stuck in toxic relationship patterns, how childhood experiences shape who we’re drawn to, and what it takes to finally choose differently. From nervous system regulation to spotting red flags early, this conversation is packed with tools for anyone who’s tired of repeating the same painful dynamics and ready to step into healthier love.
Margaret and I also talk about the messy, beautiful work of self-reclamation: building boundaries, strengthening self-worth, and finding peace after narcissistic abuse.
Key Takeaways:
Healing from narcissistic abuse starts with recognizing patterns.
Therapy and coaching can be game-changers in recovery.
Nervous system regulation helps us break the cycle and feel safe again.
Boundaries aren’t optional—they’re the foundation of healthy relationships.
Childhood experiences influence who we’re drawn to as adults.
We can get dopamine hits from healthy activities, not just toxic highs.
Red flags are easier to spot once we slow down and pay attention.
The empath–narcissist dynamic is real, but awareness creates change.
Self-worth is non-negotiable when it comes to love and dating.
You don’t have to wait until you’ve “escaped” to ask for help.
Links mentioned in this episode:
Book: How to Break Your Addiction to a Person
Margaret's Websites:
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I keep ending up with the same kind of guy?” — this conversation is for you. Tune in to hear fresh insight, practical tools, and the hope that real change is possible.
If this episode resonates with you, please take a moment to rate and review The Reclamation Room. Your support helps amplify these conversations and makes it easier for others on their healing journey to find us.
Thanks for listening!
Quitting caffeine wasn’t just about breaking up with coffee for me. It mirrored the same cycles I had to break in healing from narcissistic abuse.
The constant back-and-forth. The quick dopamine hit that made me feel like my needs were being met, even though underneath it was wrecking my body and my peace. The way it became a false “comfort” that actually kept me stuck in the very cycles I was trying to escape.
In this episode, I share my story of letting go of caffeine and how it became a practice ground for breaking toxic loops, learning self-awareness, and choosing real nourishment instead of empty fixes.
We’ll explore:
✨ How addiction cycles mimic the trauma bond in narcissistic abuse
✨ The illusion of safety vs. the reality of hidden harm
✨ Why we return to what hurts us (and how to stop)
✨ The power of replacing false peace with real healing practices
✨ Celebrating small steps as proof you’re breaking free
This isn’t just a story about caffeine! It’s about reclaiming your power, refusing to settle for bandaid solutions, and choosing freedom over false tranquility.
Books mentioned in this episode:
Who Am I? The 16 Basic Desires That Motivate Our Actions and Define Our Personalities
(I mispronounced his name in this episode - Steven Reiss is credited for the Reiss Motivation Profile if you want to learn more!)
Caffeine Blues: Wake Up to the Hidden Dangers of America's #1 Drug
You can email me at ashana@yournorthstarrising.com to register for our Weekly Women's Circle or to apply to be on the show!
thanks for listening 🧡
🎙️ In this episode of The Reclamation Room, I’m back with Justin McSweeny, host of the Idea Cast Interview Series and creator of the Illumine Life Project for Part 2 of our powerful conversation on healing, growth, and reclaiming your sense of self.
This time, we dive deeper into the duality of personal growth—how pain and acceptance can coexist—and what it really takes to untangle ourselves from old stories rooted in shame and unworthiness. Justin and I talk about the ways feminism shapes our healing journeys, the importance of humility in learning, and how connection through shared experience can create sacred space for transformation.
This episode is a reminder that you’re not alone in your process—and that your story, just as it is, holds deep value.
In this episode, we explore:
Why unlearning shame is essential for reclaiming your worth
The role of feminism in personal development and emotional healing
How humility and curiosity keep us open to transformation
The power of community in making healing feel safe
Letting go of perfection and embracing imperfection
How self-forgiveness is an ongoing practice
Why your story matters—especially the parts you’re still rewriting
💡 Key Takeaways:
Holding two truths at once is part of real growth
Breaking generational cycles starts with self-awareness
Healing isn’t about happiness—it’s about wholeness
Community and connection are medicine
You are not alone—and you never have to be
📘 Mentioned in this episode:
- Illumine Life Project – Justin’s free resource for personal inquiry
- Idea Cast Interview Series – Justin’s podcast
🧡 If something in this episode speaks to you, send it to a friend who needs to hear that healing is sometimes messy, always meaningful, and absolutely possible.
In this episode of The Reclamation Room, I sit down with Justin McSweeny: host of the Idea Cast Interview Series and creator of the Illumine Life Project, a free resource for personal inquiry and transformation.
We explore the deeper layers of storytelling, podcasting as a healing tool, and why amplifying women's voices matters so much in the collective healing journey. Justin and I also talk about childhood trauma, self-reflection, and the resilience it takes to face pain and still find meaning in the mess.
We even touch on Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, a book that’s influenced so many in their healing process, especially those learning to make sense of suffering and reclaim purpose from pain.
This is Part 1 of our conversation! Part 2 will be released soon, where we go even deeper into personal transformation and the messy beauty of the human experience.
We cover:
Why sharing women’s stories is essential for collective healing
The journey of podcasting and creating space for raw conversations
How childhood trauma can shape us—and how we find our way back
The importance of embracing imperfection
Finding meaning through suffering (a la Frankl)
Why self-reflection is key to real transformation
How connection and storytelling remind us we’re not alone
💡 Key Takeaways:
Our stories matter—even the hard ones
Resilience is born through facing, not avoiding
There’s no perfect path to healing
Embracing our flaws makes space for deeper truth
Sharing fosters connection, courage, and hope
📘 Mentioned in this episode:
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
Illumine Life Project – Justin’s free resource hub for inner work
Idea Cast Interview Series – Justin’s podcast
🔜 Stay tuned for Part 2, releasing soon!
🧡 If this episode resonates with you, consider sharing it with someone who needs a reminder that healing is possible—and that they’re not alone.
In this episode, we explore the complex and sometimes messy journey of healing from narcissistic abuse, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion and understanding the impact of such trauma on the nervous system. I provide a few practical steps for reclaiming your sense of self and overcoming the inner critic, while encouraging listeners to embrace your own unique healing journey.
Takeaways:
Self-compassion and grace are essential for healing.
Narcissistic abuse rewires your nervous system.
Healing is not linear and can be messy.
Recognizing your body's needs is crucial for recovery.
You are not behind in your healing journey.
Compassion over comparison is vital for self-trust.
Your inner critic is not your truth; it's someone else's voice.
You are doing better than you think, even on hard days.
You can take my free Self-Talk Type Quiz here, to discover the theme of your own pesky inner critic - and download a quick guide for 3 words to start combatting that negative self talk today!
As always, reach out if you want further support. You can email me at ashana@yournorthstarrising.com.
Thanks for listening. 💓
In this episode of The Reclamation Room, I’m talking about something I hear from almost every survivor I work with:
“I thought I was going crazy.”
If you’ve ever felt like you couldn’t trust your own thoughts, your own memories, or even your own body — this one’s for you.
We’ll dig into how narcissistic abuse and emotional manipulation condition you to doubt yourself, why that self-doubt isn’t your fault, and what it actually looks like to start trusting yourself again. This episode is part truth-telling, part nervous system hug, and part permission slip to stop apologizing for what you feel.
You’re not broken — you’re waking up. And you’re not alone in it.
Takeaways:
This podcast is about reclaiming who you are after narcissistic abuse.
Self-doubt isn’t a flaw — it’s a survival response.
You were conditioned to mistrust your own reality.
Your peace and power are still yours — reclaiming them just takes time.
Your body knows what your brain was taught to ignore.
You don’t have to explain or apologize for your feelings.
Emotional abuse can distort your inner compass — but clarity is possible.
Feeling unsure isn’t a sign you’re wrong — it’s a sign you’re healing.
This is a space to come home to yourself, one breath at a time.
If this episode hit home, I’d love for you to share it with someone who needs the reminder that they’re not crazy — they’re just waking up.
Make sure you’re following The Reclamation Room so you don’t miss what’s coming next. And if you feel like leaving a review, I’d love to hear what part landed the most for you.
You deserve to feel safe in your own truth.
You’re not too much. You’re not making it up.
You’re remembering who you are — and I’m so damn proud of you.
See you in the next one. 🖤
Check out my website, yournorthstarrising.com for more resources that can help on your journey.
Feel free to reach out, any time. You can email me at ashana@yournorthstarrising.com.
Welcome to the very first episode of The Reclamation Room — a space for women healing after narcissistic abuse, learning to trust themselves again, and reclaiming the parts of them that were never truly lost.
In this opening episode, I share a bit of my own story and why this podcast exists. If you've ever felt silenced, invisible, or like you’re only just beginning to figure out who you really are — this one’s for you.
In this episode, I talk about:
What “reclamation” really means (and why it’s different from just surviving)
The impact of narcissistic abuse on identity and self-trust
Why I’m choosing to speak now — and invite you to do the same
What you can expect from future episodes (raw truths, real talk, no filters)
Let’s connect:
💗 Instagram: @northstar.rising
🐆 Substack: ashanakaiulani.substack.com
🌿 Website: yournorthstarrising.com