This episode is about the experience of Demand Avoidance + how it connects not only to our experience of autonomy-loss, but ALSO our experience of uncertainty—not just that we don't want to do the thing, but that we actually don't yet know how.
In this episode, I share about the differences between demand avoidance and procrastination, and how the understanding of autonomy needs strengthens our resources for support. I'm then breaking down how overwhelm, uncertainty, and lack of clarity can influence the experience of demand avoidance, and how understanding this can bring create even more options for support!
Quick Vyvanse ADHD med update from me on this episode, and then jumping into the main topic for today: Nervous System Regulation vs Nervous System Capacity Building, where capacity building can be more effective than regulation, and how I've applied this concept to paying off my post-Hurricane Helene credit card debt.
**THIS EPISODE IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE!!** I'm only sharing my personal experiences and reflections! Talk to your doctor!
In this episode I share about what I noticed on 20, 30, and 40mg of Vyvanse, and what I'm looking for to know when I've found the 'right' dose of Vyvanse for me (hopefully!)
I needed to step away from the ADHD Writer’s Summit. In this episode I share about what led me to this decision: the wall I hit around capacity, unstable meds, reflection in therapy. I'm unpacking the guilt of saying no, and how I’m learning to see these moments as reparenting and care instead of spiraling into shame. If you’ve ever wondered whether your ‘self-sabotage’ is really just your neurodivergent support needs showing up, this one’s for you. <3
**DISCLAIMER** This is not medical advice! Please talk to a doctor before making any important medical decisions that would affect your health!! Repeat: This is not medical advice!
Sharing my own personal experiences on Vyvanse so far, comparing to my experience with Adderall XR (the only other ADHD med I've tried), and how I am evaluating my executive functioning & symptoms as the week has gone on.
DISCLAIMER: This episode is not medical advice!! I'm only sharing my personal thoughts and experiences.
This episode is a case study on a 'big scary project' where I've been feeling a lot of overwhelm, fear, demands, and perfectionism. In it, I'm sharing with you how I process through the emotions that come with big projects like this one (shame, overwhelm, avoidance, shutdowns, meltdowns). This is an exploration on what supporting myself through it looks like, how I sniff out autonomy where I can find it, and how I'm doing things differently vs when I was younger and used adrenaline, cortisol, and fear of humiliation to get things done. (That's growth!)
WE ARE BACK IN THE HOUSE!!! This feels like a whole new chapter of the Connected Divergents pod, and certainly of my life!
Excited to chat with you about what it's been feeling like being back, and a discovery I made about how I experience 'routines' with my autism: not linked to time or sequences, but physical space & visual cues! Hope you enjoy <3
Visit my Substack. Wanted to hop on and share this in real-time—today, I'm going through a *RUMINATION SPIRAL* on my day off! Related to not very fun hotel and insurance and post-hurricane things. I'm catching myself feeling like, if I could just 'close the loop', get to the end, and fix it—then, I won't have to feel this way anymore. I'm also feeling like, "I must be bad. I must have done something wrong. If I hadn't done anything wrong, then this wouldn't have happened." It's bringing me back to feeling like a little kid—scared and worried. In this episode, I'm sharing what I'm realizing as I experience it, and talking about a neurodiversity-affirming framework of compassionate understanding, reflective questions, and values-aligned actions that help support me through these moments.
In this episode, I read a personal essay about growing up as an undiagnosed PDA-profile autistic child. It’s a story about control, shame, and the misunderstood ways resistance shows up in kids who are fighting for autonomy. I talk about meltdowns, self-harm, emotional neglect, and the long path toward healing and self-trust.
This is about what happens when you bury parts of yourself to survive... and what it looks like to slowly bring them home.
Content note: This episode includes reflections on childhood trauma, spanking, emotional neglect, self-harm, and depression. Please listen with care.
The start of this episode features Biscuit's purring! :D Quick lil dive on how if you're neurodivergent, you might be better-off setting process-based goals instead of outcome-based goals. Outcome-based goals tend to be fairly rigid, and often feel very 'far away'. With process-based goals, we are here to have you feeling focusing on there here & now, and the present that's right in front of you—not a distant dream for a some-day, one-day future!
In this episode, I'm sharing a recent discovery about a "program" that runs in my brain when I'm feeling unsafe: the belief that I need to do MORE to fix it and reach safety. But the truth is, doing more & more & more only heightens my stress and anxiety—and makes me feel very, very unsafe. I'm talking about a framework and perspective on what actually reinforces the experience of safety—not to fix the problem at hand, but to close the loop on the "I'm not doing enough" program itself.
I think I might actually be coming out of burnout—and the turning point was... an allergy spray? In this episode, I'm sharing my experiences navigating burnout, the subtle shifts and surprising changes I've been noticing lately, and how a new medication has unexpectedly started reshaping my relationship with work, rest, and energy. If you've ever struggled with burnout, this one's for you.
Disclaimer: This episode is not medical advice. It reflects my personal, highly subjective experiences with ACT, CBT, and DBT. Please talk to a qualified professional for support tailored to you!
Resources:
dbt.tools
Book rec: ACT Made Simple by Russ Harris
In today's episode I'm sharing a tool for reflection and curiosity that I am LOVING for building intimacy around the things you want/love to do (but are finding very hard to do!). Updates on how I've figured out what works for my brain & body around movement, and ways that I've incorporated what works for me with movement into my writing practice!
Instagram Post: Thinking about doing the thing COUNTS as doing the thing
Essay: 'This Counts as Work' for Burnout Recovery
In this episode, I chat through my thoughts on why I don’t use transactional rewards systems. This is more of an exploratory, verbally-processing kind of episode as I try to untangle my feelings about rewards, motivation, and what actually works for me (and maybe for you too!). It’s a casual, chatty deep dive into the nuance of motivation and why gold stars don’t always do it for me.
An introspective exploration after reading Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman! Thoughts about what I enjoyed from this book, what didn't hit for me, and what still chewing on after reading in. SPOILERS AHEAD!
I've felt this way for a long time... Why do I feel such a strong dislike towards reading books about ADHD? I'm an ADHD coach! Should I enjoy them??? Diving in with you to explore why, and sharing some *book recs* for the books I absolutely freaking ADORED and what made them different!
**Thank you for being patient as I refigure my audio quality settings! This episode has a lot of pops in it, and I wish it didn't—I promise I'm trying really hard to work out new settings after having to move my setup into the hotel post-hurricane!**
I've had a REALIZATION hit me the last few days on why I'm no longer using apps/services like Flow Club (Ep 57) or even the Capacity Compass I talked about earlier this week (Ep 59)—they are too filled with *demands* to be sustainable for my brain wiring. Here's what happened for me to realize this, and the "strategy" I am replacing them with to reclaim my autonomy!
Episode 3: Intentional Novelty
Apps/Services Mentioned:
RescueTime
Boss As a Service
Flow Club
Look, some days you're ready to conquer the world and some days putting on matching socks feels like a win. In this episode, we're diving into a chill way to roll with whatever energy you've got: the high/medium/low capacity compass! It's like a choose-your-own-adventure for your tasks, but make it realistic. No more pretending you're a productivity robot - instead, pick from your personalized menu of options based on whether you're feeling like a sparkly unicorn or more like a sleepy sloth. Because hey, doing something small still counts as doing the thing!