Hi guys!!!!! So happy to see you here. This is probably our most vulnerable episode yet. We yap about how old, toxic patterns (people pleasing, self sabotage, avoidance) make their way into the present and sabotage good things, especially relationships. Even good things can trigger us if we have a pattern of self destruction. We share our experiences as well as advice on how to break out of these destructive ways. As always, we hope this episode helps you feel seen, validated and inspired.

Hi guys!! In this episode, we dive deep into the fear of being seen - how bullying, judgment, and shame condition us to shrink ourselves. We explore the impact of growing up in a judgmental environment, feeling voiceless, and the anxiety that keeps us stuck. We both share our personal experiences and how action, self-acceptance, and community help dismantle fear. Topics include somatic healing, nervous system safety, inner child work, overthinking, and the power of being misunderstood. If you’ve ever feared judgment, negative comments, or your own potential, this one’s for you. We appreciate you!!

HI RATS! In this episode, we dive deep into how fear holds us back from our dream life—and, of course, providing the motivation to push past it. Whether you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next steps in life, we hope this relatable and encouraging conversation will help you move forward with clarity, courage, and action!! Do it scared. Do it anxious. You're capable and resilient. We talk about comfort zones, overcoming fear, dealing with confusion and self-doubt, and breaking through money blocks and limiting beliefs. We also explore somatic tools, mindset shifts, and powerful visualization exercises to support your transformation. Thank you for being here!!!

HEY RATS!!! Welcome to Episode 3 of our Heart to Heart series — a soulful space for healing conversations, mindset shifts, and encouraged deep connection!!In this episode, we dive into powerful, thought-provoking questions that spark inner reflection and emotional growth. Some are philosophical, some are playful, but all are designed to challenge the beliefs we’ve been conditioned to hold — and help us reconnect with our truest selves. Ask yourself or your loved ones these questions to get your brains working!!!

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Hi guys!! These are our beliefs and our theories around a higher power. We talk about B’s short lived fear of God/Universe/Source’s power (and overcoming it), wanting to release control through God, the evolution of our beliefs, why there’s evil in the world and so on!!

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Let’s get philosophical. Welcome to episode 2 of our series HEART TO HEART where we ask each other all kinds of thought provoking questions (plus a couple simple, silly ones)

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Hi guys!!!! In this episode of Calm and Chaotic, we dive deep into the moment you finally chose yourself. We talk self-abandonment, healing old patterns, building self-trust, and choosing self-love even when you're burnt out. Whether you’re on a self-growth journey, healing from trauma, or learning how to stop betraying your own needs — this one’s for you. 💛

Welcome to our new segment Heart to Heart where we ask each other deep, unfiltered questions!! Feel free to ask your partner, friends or family these questions, as it really gives you the grounds to open up, reconnect and get your brain thinkingNew episode of this segment drops every Friday!Thank you for being here ❤️

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Hi guys!!!!!!!!! We have news for you. you don't actually thrive in chaos... In this episode, we break down what we mean by that. We yap about it all - from carrying toxic patterns into new relationships to nervous system regulation.

A peaceful environment is essential for your mind, body and soul. Decluttering your space will help declutter your mind. If you're used to chaos but crave a peaceful life, this episode is for you!!!!

Let’s talk mindset shifts to create a happier, more positive and present life!!! We also talk about storing emotion in the body and how to release it, being a victim to the uncontrollable, changing your relationship with things that you dread and adapting the abundance mindset.

We love going on tangents lol. From shedding the old you to how we’ve become cynical from social media (lol) to our thoughts and fears on having kids, this episode is full of TANGENTS. Thank you for being here, we appreciate you!!

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Community, friendship and connection are SO important, but when you’re in your 20s/30s/40s, it kinda goes on the bottom of the priority list. We have some HOT TAKES in this episode, but we think we’re just saying what a lot of people are thinking… hopefully? Or are we the odd ones out? Lol. If youre an introvert like Bee or just fed up with people like Jay, we hope this episode makes you feel seen in some capacity!! For some people, like us, it’s a struggle to connect or even want to give your energy to someone new. From men vs women friendships, being an introvert, where to meet people, being socially anxious… we blab about it all.Thank you so much for being here!!

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Let’s yap about greatest life lessons we’ve learned so far, as well as reading some off from the people of reddit! From trusting your gut to the inability to fix people to the life changing effects of gratitude, we cover all the things that have guided us to where we are today. There are lots of one liner gems in this episode, in our humble opinions. We hope to spark some motivation, inspiration or encouragement in your brain!

If you have low self worth and think you don’t deserve to be treated with respect, love, appreciation, and effort, PLEASE listen to this episode. Low self worth comes from somewhere or someone externally. Maybe you’ve lost yourself in a previous relationship, maybe you were always being put down by others and it's turned you into a self conscious shell of yourself. Whatever the case may be, we are here to give you a little boost; a few reminders and encouragement. When you have low self worth, you will accept things that you do not deserve. You won’t prioritize self care and self love because you may think it’s not in the cards for you. This has you operating at a lower vibration, which has only attracted low vibrational partners/friendships. Can you gain confidence even when it feels impossible to find it? Can you find someone who respects your boundaries, treats you like the queen/king that you are? YES. DOUBLE YES.

Breaking ups/divorce are incredibly daunting, difficult things to initiate & deal with. But, if you’re questioning the relationship, unhappy, unfulfilled, missing something etc, it is SO important for your quality of life. It’s so common to want to stay where you're comfortable, but what kind of life is that if happiness is minimal? If you're experiencing unhappiness in your relationship, if you’ve fallen out of love with your partner, if you're hopeful for things to get better in the future one day, we hope this episode lifts you up and gives you the courage to do what’s best for you (and them!!). It’s heavy, it’s not easy detaching yourself from someone you’ve become so intertwined with in every way but, you both deserve mutual unconditional love. Having love for someone vs being in love with someone are separate!! And that alone is more than enough to end the relationship. We chat about our experiences with breakups, in which were all under different circumstances. Thank you guys so much for being here!!!! We love you.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00:00 - Intro

00:00:42 - Struggling to find the courage

00:01:25 - signs that the relationship isn’t for you

00:03:31 - divorce when you have kids

00:07:38 - falling out of love

00:08:38 - what are people going to think?

00:11:13 - Red flags in the beginning

00:15:00 - having the hard conversation

00:17:14 - dating these days

00:19:33 - love vs in love

00:21:50 - honeymoon phase

00:26:40 - not wanting to be around your partner

00:28:32 - the brain wants to stay comfortable

00:29:10 - communicate your conflicted feelings

00:31:24 - honesty is respect

00:32:25 - how to initiate a breakup

00:35:26 - breakup guilt & standing your ground

00:40:40 - breaking up is NORMAL and necessary

00:42:40 - when love isn’t enough

00:45:17 - three types of love

00:50:10 - being treated badly while in love

00:55:32 - when they check all the shallow boxes

00:58:02 - fighting in early relationships

00:59:32 - peace in relationships

01:00:10 - encouragement & outro

HI GUYS!!! Today we yap about how weird we think drinking culture is. Being in our 30s, we are sooo over it. One beer, one cocktail and that’s it (if that). If you have a confusing relationship with the POISON that is alcohol, hopefully this episode makes you feel less alone! It’s become such a staple in social settings for a lot of people, but it doesn’t have to be that way. A shirly temple will do! We share story times, advice, alternatives, and our opinions on drinking culture! If this is a triggering topic for you, please skip this episode 🤍Timestamps:00:00 - intro yap01:57 - drinking in our 20s vs 30s02:49 - our first drink04:52 - liquor allergy05:33 - Js first blackout08:04 - drinking now10:32 - house parties/group settings12:11 - blacking out13:17 - our first New Years together15:10 - drunk vs tipsy17:28 - story times22:55 - weirdness of drinking culture24:49 - the devil’s lettuce28:16 - being pure in our 30s29:21 - ruining the fun32:32 - college drinking35:50 - placebo drinks 37:55 - using it as a crutch41:06 - Staten Island44:30 - pressured to drink?45:25 - normal people

Do you get triggered easily? Find it impossible to control your reactions due to past trauma? We come at this topic from two different experiences. No reaction is the best reaction. No response is the best response. It’s HARD to detach from the power of negative emotion. But, the power of letting them go off while you remain calm is unmatched. Today we dive into the importance of relying on yourself for emotional regulation. Maybe you’re super reactive when you’re triggered, which leads you to disturb your own peace and disrespect your own boundaries. Maybe you experience deep levels of rage and can’t control it, then spiral into self sabotage and self loathing. We talk relationships, miscommunications, understanding yourself better, not relying on others to console you, etc etc!! We hope this episode brings you some clarity and ah-ha moments!!Timestamps:00:00:00 - Trinket of the month00:01:20 - Normal People yap00:04:41 - Regulating your emotions00:05:43 - being reactive in relationships00:08:37 - impulsivity from anger00:09:46 - Feeding off of negative reaction00:16:09 - you’re not nagging, they’re just not listening00:16:49 - when you’re in an argument00:19:50 - regulating your OWN emotions00:22:36 - ego and pride00:25:35 - the energy of emotions (anger)00:29:07 - not reacting + letting go of anger00:32:05 - speaking each other’s love language 00:39:51 - the type of scrolling you do00:40:42 - negative comments online00:49:45 - road rage story time01:00:02 - no consequences 01:01:05 - the let them theory01:03:46 - toxic aggression & control01:08:19 - middle school bullying story 01:10:30 - standing your ground is POWERFUL01:14:43 - wrap up

HI GUYS!!! What the honk is up? This episode is a change of pace from our usual lol, a bit more aggressive as we read through some reddit threads on people’s biggest pet peeves in dating, pet peeves in other people, people’s grossest and strangest habits. We hope to bring you some giggles today! TIMESTAMPS: 00:00:00 - trinket of the month 00:02:26 - our biggest pet peeves 00:04:47 - reddit thread of pet peeves 00:06:41 - people are in their own world lol 00:08:22 - anger towards silly things 00:11:14 - hating cats??? 00:12:08 - loud engines 00:14:18 - bad driving 00:19:24 - stickyness 00:20:13 - urinals 00:20:27 - Bee’s pet peeve of Jay 00:22:08 - dating pet peeve prompt 00:22:21 - scrolling on a date 00:23:48 - bad dates? 00:25:51 - “weird” laughs 00:27:28 - weirdest habit prompt 00:28:54 - smelling things 00:29:16 - alarm specifications 00:29:41 - toilet weirdness 00:31:09 - strange eating habits 00:33:09 - pick n sniff 00:33:29 - bedtime ritual 00:34:44 - fart inhaling 00:35:30 - weird peeing habit 00:36:52 - sniffing zits 00:37:24 - booger wall 00:38:25 - butt scratcher 00:39:28 - dragon tongue eater 00:40:40 - our germaphobia in hotels 00:43:37 - not wearing underwear? 00:44:58 - eating in bed 00:47:39 - rapid fire 00:50:15 - strange secret

Let’s blab about self concept. How do you see yourself? What are your core beliefs when it comes to yourself? Some of them can be holding you back because you’ve been holding onto them for too long, leading you to identify and believe your negative thoughts. Maybe you were shy as a kid, so that became your identity; shy, awkward, not good in crowds. Maybe someone made you feel unloveable and now you feel unwanted, unattractive, undeserving of love. When something becomes so deeply rooted in us, it can be all consuming. It skews the way we view ourself, how we speak to ourselves and how we live our life. If you’ve ever felt trapped by your own negative self-talk or struggled to embrace your worth, this episode is for you. Let’s talk about how we have changed (and are still recognizing & changing) our self concept!! Timestamps: 00:00 - Mexican food 02:06 - self concept meaning 06:00 - your appearance is the least interesting thing about you… ooooh 09:37 - Bee’s OLD self concept 11:34 - Bee’s self concept now 12:08 - being excluded 16:25 - the limitless mindset 19:11 - definition of success is subjective 22:18 - Jay’s self concept 26:46 - Goni in basket 27:24 - Jay’s limiting beliefs 31:04 - common limiting beliefs 31:26 - “I’m too old, I’m too young” 33:04 - “I’m not worthy” - qualities vs formula to success 37:55 - what qualities do you think you lack? 44:45 - how to love yourself more 49:05 - overthinking 50:40 - there are lessons in adversity 53:23 - feeling that your ideas aren’t worthy 54:26 - types of success? 57:31 - outdo, implement positive ideas about the self

HI RATS!!! Criticism from others… let’s talk about it! The fear of judgment is sometimes the number one thing that holds us back. Allow us to hold your paw and remind you that no one else is going to experience YOUR life except for you, so you may as well do whatever the HONK you want. Of course that’s easier said than done, so we hope to provide you with some motivation, encouragement, mindset shifts, etc so you can finally start living for yourself!!!!! Because guess what? People are going to judge you no matter what you do, so you may as well just do it for the sake of your own happiness and quality of life. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00: intro and eating play dough 3:17 - old MTV shows 4:37 - parental judgment + J’s experience 14:38 - content creation 15:36 - questioning of decisions is good to an extent 16:13 - PASSION 18:27 - NOT CARING about others perceptions of you 28:43 - lack of fulfillment 30:25 - do you have your own back? 32:35 - where is your value based? 35:02 - college yap & people pleasing 39:53 - mindset around money 42:02 - content creation & money making 48:28 - shaking ass & stripper yap 53:40 - judgement is temporary!!! 58:24 - what’s the worst and BEST that can happen? 1:04:23 - hosting Christmas