In this podcast, I share the process of the build up to my publication day which happended on June 22nd. In waiting for the arrival of my first copy of my book in its final form and for my publication day, I found myself really emotional. Gravitating from feelings of sadness, to overwhelm and then excitement. I realise that I was grieving the process of letting go of my attachment to my book. Not just that but grieving the relationship I built up with my publishers and their team of people over the last 2 years. Questions such as how am I meant to feel? How do I act when the book arrives? All preoccupied my mind.

A reminder about a quote I heard years ago that I shared in my book, really helped me repositioned myself and my relationship to the process. It said that, "books have wings" and that as an author, we should let them fly, once written. Having taken on this mindset, I found it easier to let go and trust that the book once in flight, will land in the right place, at the right time with right person. I do hope in lands in your space.

Does manifesting work? Do you believe in manifestation? I am using this title lightly to talk about my writing process. Manifesting is a term that's been used and misused by many of the 'so called gurus' over the years. Ever since the SECRET came out, the term have overused and at times misleading.

However, if I could replace the word manifesting with words such as miracles, synchronicity, creator, as the co-creator in my writing process, then I would agree that manifesting can work. Here in this podcast, I share how by writing in my journal, eight years ago, what help I needed, to support me on my journey, actually came to fruition. I actually got what I asked for and more.

Its important to say, though, that I didn't just wish it in my life. I had to do the hard work. Endless days and nights of writing, editing, stressing and so forth,alongside the day job. I had to face the rejections, the brain fog, the self doubt, before landing this publihsing deal with Karnac-UKCP series.

However, setting out clear intentions about what I could and couldn't do and what help I needed has manifested into answered prayers and much more.

Hope you enjoy and don't forget to click the follow link.

Thanks for listening!

It is said that there is a book in all of us. Yet many of us, never get the chance to write that book! One of the biggest block to this happening, is the obstacle of fear. Fear can drive creativity forward or kill it. In this episode, I share how I experienced fear and how it manisfested itself through the writing to publishing process. I also share a process by Elizebeth Gilbert acclaimed writer, in her book, "Big Magic," on how she deals with fear.

I hope you enjoy this episode. Please don't forget to follow me here and on my instagram page @hysloph. I look forward too hearing about your own journey with creativity.

"Ideas can grow, they can get side-tracked or go away.Inspiration will always try its best to work with you-but if you are not readily available, it may choose to leave you and look for a different human collaborator."

"A different way is to cooperate fully, humbly and joyfully with inspiration"

These quotes are taken from Elizabeth's Gilbert book, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear.

They really speak to me in regards to my own journey and process of writing this book. Therefore, in this episode I talk about how I engaged with the creative ideas that came over the years. Like Elizaabeth says, some of those ideas came and went, some got side-tracked, some went away and some stayed. I believe that those that stayed, only stayed, because I was paying attention, I was showing up and showing gratitude when they arrived. I had entered into a committed relationhsip with the ideas. Even when those painful and challenging moments came, I stayed committed.

Your process might be different, however, if I could give one advise, that will be, to be open to ideas when they come. Don't judge them, accept them, acknowldge them and have fun with them.

Since I began sharing my journey publicly over the last few years about writing this book, I have had many question asked, about the book. For example, why the title, what's been the process, how did I get a publisher, who is it for and so forth.

I thought it would be fun to share this in my Podcast. So for the next few weeks, I have decided to do a series of very short episodes, addressing some of these questions. And yes, disclaimer, here, I thought it would be a good way to promote the book too!!!

Would you say that the work you do is meaningful? What makes it meaningful? Or perhaps your job is simply transactional and that you get your sense of meaning elsewhere. My interest in this topic is because of my personal journey of wanting to do work that allows me to have joy and be creative. Research from the Association of Sociology has recently focused on intersectionality and meaningful work. For example looking at class, race, gender etc and the relationship with meaningful work. In this podcast I am exploring what that means for me, while citing some examples from their recent research.

My first experience of shame was at 3 years old. My parents had just rented their first 2 bed home and had been given furniture from my dad's parents. Not long after an argument ensued between my mum and my dad's sister. My aunties must have mentioned the furniture, because that same night my two older siblings and my parents were taking the furniture back to my grandparents. I didn't have a word for the emotion then, but I felt ashamed. Whether it was my shame or my parents shame, I felt it and it was a feeling that stayed with me for most of my life. Brene Brown describes shame as the most primitive emotion that we all experience. It's an intensely painful feeling of believing that you are flawed. We experience shame in our personal or professional life. Many of my female clients have talked about the shame they felt in showing vulnerability at work. For example women experiencing menopause or clients with a neurodiverse condition. In this Podcast I explore shame,  what it is, how to spot it and how to move through it.

Saying yes to others and being helpful is a very good way of being. However, if you find yourself compromising your needs or wellbeing to please others, then you might be a people pleaser.

This episode explores what people pleasing is, I share examples of what this looks like and offer a few tips on how to be less of a people-pleaser in your relationhsips.

Life can be challenging at times. When we face those challenges, its very easy to loose our sense of joy. Desmond Tutu and the Daila Lama in their book, called The Book of Joy, writes that, discovering more joy, does not save us from hardship or grief. However, as we discover more joy, we are able to face our suffering. We learn that we can have hardships without becoming hard and heartbreaks, without becoming broken. In this episode, I share some of practises that I use that helps me connect to my joy. I also show you how you can connect to your joy by staying in your circle of control.

I share stories from my family and culture that influence me as woman and look at the parrallels in the current context, where women face gender bias, shame, imposter syndrome, etc.

I give personal and professional examples of women in my life.

I am starting conversations that are sometimes difficult to talk about.

Really excited to restart my Podcast after a long break. This series will be for women who are work in spaces that forces them to abandon their natural skills such as empathy, compassion, emotional intelligence and intuition in order to fit in to a male dominated industry. My series will add to theh conversation as to why we do this and what can we do differently in order to lead authentic lives.

In this new series, I am addressing Relationships in different Contexts. One of my Specialism is in Systemic and Family Psychotherapist, helping Individuals, Couples, Families and Organisational teams, address relational issues. Today's focus is on Relationship with Self through the Decades with Heather Day. After Seven years of developing My 7 Step Model of Journey to Well-being, I have decided to trial it here in my Podcasts. In this approach, I  want to challenge the idea that we have to fit into a frame in order to be happy. I propose that its our difference that gets people's our attention. Yet we have learnt to adapt into a frame that says if you don't do it this way that there is something wrong with you. You see this in families and organisations. Being different gets you labelled as weird, quirky, mad etc. So, people learned to fit in by hiding their differences. How many organisations do not elevate an employee because of their Race, Gender, Disability or Sexuality? How many times were you told, you are too experienced for this job, or too edgy?   My guest Heather Day, shares her healing journey with us, including her experiences of burn-out and breast cancer. Heather's transformational journey and study of energy healing led her to create Vibrant Life Women. Heather supports women to release old limiting patterns so they can reconnect to their 'True Self' and create a vibrant life. Contact Heather on 07966067883 https://vibrantlifewomen.co.uk https://heatherdaycoaching.com E book ( Kindle only) You are Beyond Limits https://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Are-Beyond-Limits-Rewrite-ebook/dp/B01NAZJKO8

In this new Podcast series, I am addressing relationship in different context. Today's focus is on Self. After seven years of working my model "A six Step Journey to well-being", I have decided to trial it here in my Podcasts. Its a model that I use in my work and it forms the frame of my book (still in editing mode). I want to challenge the idea that we have to fit into a frame in order to be successful. For example, everyone on social media, seems to have the same formula on how to promote yourself and how to be successful. Forgetting that one size doesn't fit all!

In the methodology that I use, I am proposing that being different is the new formula for success. I believe that,  its your difference that gets people's attention. Yet we have learnt to adapt into a frame that says if you don't do it this way that there is something wrong with you. You see this, in families and organisations. Being different gets you labelled as weird, quirky, mad, defiant and so on. People learn to fit in by hiding their differences, only to end up being stressed and unhappy. So many organisations do not elevate an employee because of their difference. Whether that be, Race, Gender, Disability or Sexuality. Or it might be because you have dreadlocks, or pink hair, or that you creative. How many times were you told, you are too experienced for this job, or too edgy? How about in your family, you were told, that you are too sensitive?

Here I want to start the conversation by suggesting that when you are clear on who you are and when others can accept you, for you, there is less need to expect everyone to fit into a framework that is long-outdated! Creating a frame that makes allowances for differences, would, I imagine, invite more curiosity, encourage greater participation and commitment to building relationships.

In the last 5 months, I have had a pause from Podcasting. During that time, I have moved home from London to the South Coast and my daughters have flown the nest. Though recent extended visits from my youngest makes this debatable. This space has allowed me to reflect on my relationship with Podcasting. Why am I doing it and for whom? Would I want to continue and if so, what would I talk about. How can I remain authentic to the process and not get positioned by expectations or even judgement of others. Finally I made a decision to do a series on Relationships.. Yes you heard me. Relationships! Who doesn't like to talk about relationships. whether its your relationship or that of others. In this new series, I am covering various themes on relationships, such as:-

Relationship with Self

Relationship with your Partner

Relationship with Work

Relationship with Spirituality

Relationship with your Body

Relationship with family

Relationship with the Environment 

Relationship with food and so on...

I hope that you can follow me and join in or even be interviewed for an episode. 

Todays Podcast features the talented and inspirational Dr Esther Cole. Dr Esther Cole, Clinical Psychologist, is the Early Career Award Winner (2020) for her role in initiating and co-editing the book: "Psychological Therapy for Paediatric Acquired Brain Injury".  Dr Cole identifies as a third generation British Jamaican, and the proud mother of three children currently under 8. She is also the Clinical Director of Lifespan Psychology - The Diverse Practice, a group therapy practice for adults, children and families internationally, online and in London, UK. 

In this Podcast Dr Cole speaks honestly and openly about her work and most importantly about her own journey as a professional and parent dealing with stress and burnout. She describes how she overcame a traumatic experience of burnout in 2019/20 following working in the NHS, writing a book, raising two children and simultaneously starting her private practice. Dr Cole aims to connect with the audience and her clients by using her own personal challenges and resilience, as well as her professional training and research, to help others overcome similar difficulties. I truly believe that this is a message that will challenge mindsets about work and success, but most importantly help many of us to rethink how we look after our well-being

See links below to the the article and book mentioned in the Podcast as well as contact details for Dr. Cole

Website: www.lifespanpsychology.co.uk

Instagram: @lifespan_psychology

https://www.sunypress.edu/pdf/63535.pdf

Amazon Book: Psychological Therapy for Paediatric Acquired Brain Injury

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Psychological-Therapy-Paediatric-Acquired-Injury/dp/0367276208/

This episode focuses on Adversity and surviving adversity through The Resilience factor. I share some of my own experiences of adversity and how I overcame them. I also offer tips on how to manage and stay on course when you are facing challenges. When you are going through adversity, you are mostly functioning in the survival mode. You most likely want to give up. Sometimes all you need is a reminder, a message from someone to keep going. Perhaps this Podcast might be the reminder you need today.

We are constantly walking around with feelings of not enough-ness. I am not good enough, I don't have enough. There isn't enough and on and on. It's like a broken record at the back of our minds. The trouble is, that we have bought into this lie and live our lives with poor self esteem, low self worth and lots of self doubt. We are constantly comparing ourselves or being compared by others. Instead of trying to live our lives by our own wisdom, we are constantly seeking approval. My message in this Podcast, is that I have HAD ENOUGH of setting limits on myself. I have HAD ENOUGH of others trying to set those limits for me.. I think its time to start fighting back. Don't you? It take courage and a dose of "I don't care" sometimes to take those limits off. Hope this can start to spark a conversation, but most importantly know that you are enough.

I don't know where you are right now. It might be a relationship change, bereavement or career change. You maybe feeling a variety of emotions, e.g sadness fear or even excitement.  Many of us who have been at home in the last year, have mixed feelings about going back into the office spaces or even doing social activities. 

Is there a dream or a project that you are putting on hold? Perhaps its a good time to start all over? This Podcast addresses the issue of starting over as well as give a guided exercise on to take the next step on your journey.

What does it mean to be successful as a woman?  Did you know that according to the research, women approach and experience success different to men. We tend to be more circular, intuitive etc, while men are linear in their approach. In this Podcast, I am sharing personal stories of success, in the generation of women in my family. I am also exploring the idea that a woman's greatest source of success, is learning to trust her feelings, her instincts and adapting to life challenges and opportunities as they show up. For too long, women have been laughed at, for being too sensitive or emotional, especially in the work context. Leading  to feelings of shame or failure. Perhaps its time that women start to embrace the gift of intuition and emotions, because when you are truly in alignment with your inner satnav, the decisions you make, almost always will never be wrong.