Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza. The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
Today we test the horsepower of a pistachio, analyse the security risk of mosquito intruders, and condemn the pineapple to exile.
“We’re in Antequera! We’ve been allowed to leave Malaga city for the first time since January- (Pauses) Legally-” -Jess
“...You’re slurping your Taittinger.” -Tara
“I’m using the word ‘interesting’- It was more violent.” -Jess, on the discussion about pineapple on pizza
“Did you not have cheese and pineapple Hedgehogs at kid’s parties when you were younger?” -Tara
“Probably as an uneducated child, I might’ve eaten it.” -Hanni
“Jessica, what have we said about eating?!” -Tara
“That it’s fine- You can never do enough of it.” -Jess
“There are- A glut of coaches in Malaga.” -Tara
“...Is that a mathematical term?” -Hanni
“It is, it’s the collective noun for coaches!” -Jess
“Listeners, when you get to a certain age, you need to look out for the signs of a stroke.” -Tara
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza. The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
On this rudely interrupted instalment, we crowdsource hypothermia solutions, diversify our assets in blonde-improving and wasp-removing, and discuss ceremonial irons.
“It looks like we’re drinking Irn Bru.” -Tara
“Absolute faces for podding- We’ve got our Pod Faces on!” -Tara
“I’m not as into unicorns as most basic bitches are.” -Hanni
“Friends first, and then Google later- Well...” -Hanni
“Depends on the quality of your friends.” -Tara
“I accidentally spent 9.50 Euros on a wasp trap.” -Tara
“Have you used that yet?” -Hanni
“...No.” -Tara
“We let her go, alone, to the ferretería- With a credit card.” -Jess, about Tara
“I feel like Arthur may never call me Aunty Hanni on the fact that I’m his girlfriend and I’m going to be his wife!” -Hanni
“I don’t know if I’m going to say this out loud… (Pauses) I’m definitely going to.” -Tara
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza. The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
Today we celebrate Tara’s modesty, judge a man’s worth based on their soft drink, and witness a dark horse most foul.
“No knickers. Not for you, anyway.” -Hanni, to Tara
“Dumbfounded, by the lack of vagina on show!” -Tara
“I don’t know who’s taking care of those boys now- Lost at sea, wanking furiously, all alone.” -Tara
“If you see somebody at 5 o’clock in the afternoon in Spain drinking wine, they’re probably English.” -Hanni
“Do you feel like a man who drinks Coca-Cola in an English bar can afford a taxi from Alhaurin the Great, to Malaga city?” -Jess
“The bigger your boobs, the bigger your gin and tonic- That’s how it works.” -Jess
“...The previously mentioned Fanta-drinker.” -Hanni
“Now, when she says ‘elderly’, she means people that are financially sound.” -Jess
“And over 35.” -Hanni
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza.The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
Today, you join us in the bath! Not that way, though, don’t make this weird. We announce our Olympic debut in our chosen masteries, we brace for Defcon 1 as Jess considers fasting, and we collect all the Gin colours in a rainbow.
“He just waved at the podcast.” -Hanni
“...He also said goodbye instead of hello.” -Tara
“...Has anyone else seen the movie where there’s three women in a bath and a male receptionist walks in?” -Tara
“Gemma, we got a task ahead of us- Get me to Paris.
...By ‘us’ I mean you.” -Jess
(Talking about Jess) ”She even downloaded a sobriety app- It was the worst four days of our lives.” -Tara
“I’m going to say that is my excuse for drinking wine daily- I just couldn’t eat this Linda McCartney sausage if it didn’t have the perfect Malbec on the side!” -Jess
“Juice cleanse isn’t a permanent life choice, whereas-” -Hanni
“Tell that to Gwyneth Paltrow.” -Jess
“I would say she’s a sidekick.” -Hanni
“Sidekicks don’t copy your name!” -Tara
“Nor appreciated, nor appease-related.” -Tara
“I’m a recovering people-pleaser.” -Tara
“We had a friend, once- That’s it, the end.” -Tara
“He was working with a guy from Derry-” -Tara
“Oh, Jesus… Right, okay, sorry.” -Jess
“Fair, fair.” -Tara
“That’s it for this episode, 4 minutes in- We’re off on a Gin Safari!” -Tara
“I can barely see through my glasses because I stood on them last night.” -Tara
“Fuck’s sake, give them to me…” -Hanni
“Also they’re filthy.” -Tara
“I feel like there’s Middle Age mothers that have seen their Conquistador sons more than you’ve seen this one.” -Jess, to Hanni
“Hanni just reminded me-” -Jess
“You have a son?” -Hanni
“We all know Tara makes great tattoo choices- Have you seen her left tit?” -Hanni
“Will you two stop taking elmets in the middle of our podder?” -Tara
“It’s not an actual drug!” -Hanni
“I’d rather you take an actual drug.” -Tara
“Maybe I will!” -Hanni
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza.The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
Today Jess runs through the calculations of population-to-insanity, we revel in bars with patrons as aged as their liquor, and explain that we watched Moulin Rouge for the plot.
“I feel like my actual intuition is better than her maths.” -Hanni, about Jess
“You neighed at your boyfriend?” -Tara, to Hanni
“One man was definitely playing with his lower set of false teeth.” -Hanni
“Oh, yes!” -Tara
“Wallowing in old men.” -Jess
“Doesn’t count- I wasn’t there.” -Tara
“Speaking of neighing and whinnying- What about the man that thought he was a horse?” -Hanni
“Sitar man and the courtesan,
Came up... with… an evil plan,
And I can’t remember what it was,
But basically someone was gonna die.” -Jess
Ever wonder what happens when there are only 2 of the trio left alone? We know you do
This season we bring you a new feature....the secret episodes.
Only ever 2 of us at a time, behind the scenes, uncut, unfiltered and unedited - we kick off with Hanni and Tara..sorry Jess!!
Enjoy!
Oh what a year it's been!!
We are back and talking all things 2020, well not all but absolutely our fave ex pat FB group moments, fave foodie things, an entirely inappropriate Tinder update, fave places we've been (snort, thanks Ryan Air Raffle) and the usual shenanigans
We missed y'all
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza. The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour. Today we’ve got our best guest yet: Susan Power, an amazing chef and event coordinator that the shownotes writer shows absolutely no bias towards in the slightest! We go on to plot the seduction of Jean-Claude Van Damme, recall Minecraft-induced Machiavellian drama, reflect on how white everything is, and concoct the perfect curry.
“We used to play the game of ‘What would you like to hear the least about you?’ And we came up with- ‘She was a stout woman.’ ” -Susan
“He absolutely deserved to lose his driving license for drunk driving. (Pause) And getting caught.” -Tara
“The phrase used about him that you wouldn’t want to hear, is ‘He’s an elderly portly gentleman of limited means.’ “ -Tara
“We should probably wonder why we’re still wearing Def Leppard’s lingerie.” -Hanni
“You can do the cocktails for my- Actually no, no. I just tasted your Bloody Mary, no.” -Susan
“Did Carley really find out that you’re moving to Malaga from a conversation about a moyete?” -Susan
“...She’s terrifying!” -Tara
“I was lying in bed, listening to the boys fighting over Minecraft, and it was escalating- And I heard Arthur shout- ‘If you die right now, I will laugh.’ But Malachi came back strongly with ‘I hope you shit your pants.’ “ -Susan
“Again, it’s the oppressed vs the oppressors on this podcast…” -Jess
“She does go on about this- It was only 600 years!” -Susan
“Maggie’s Spit or Swallow today is Tara.” -Jess
“You like Coddle? I’m surprised, because that’s seen as poor people food.” -Susan
“Well it’s- It’s not poor people food, it’s rustic!” -Jess “Oh, look at that reaction!” -Tara
“Even we have boundaries. Not many, but they’re there.” -Tara
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza. The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
Today we navigate the social labyrinth of handing back oranges, discuss under-the-table clam juice dealers, and experience podcast mutiny.
"I’ll be in the corner with vodka & orange. My chosen breakfast drink.” -Jessica “I’m like you, but funner.” -Hanni to Jessica
“Well, you say we woke up...” -Tara “Came around. It’s different.” -Jessica
“And! The vice president is both black, Asian, woman- She’s got it all!” -Jessica “
...I think your words were ‘She not only has a womb, but she’s of ethnic minority.’ “ -Tara
“What have you brought to the party, this morning?” -Hanni “My fuckin’ wit.” -Tara
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza. The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
Today we recover from a Marmite-fuelled haze, provide bulletproof legal advice, confirm that it's not arrogant to prove that we're the best, and worship the holy courgette.
“Liver pudding- Sounds stunning when you say it out loud.” -Jessica
“I am the least capable I’d say food-wise.” -Tara
“But you’re very good at topping up drinks!” -Jessica
“Law and Order: Cádiz.” -Tara
“Please, officer, I was either breaking the law today or breaking it much worse yesterday because I was fuckin’ smashed.” -Hanni
“I can literally see you getting drunk as you speak.” -Hanni
“She’s just descending into where I left her at 6 AM.” -Jessica
“I do not like an English pub outside of England.” -Hanni
“Obviously, because it’s full of English people!” -Jessica
“It’s because we’re, as I would say, better.” -Tara
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans with Hanni Martini, Tara Collins & Jessica Baker Daza. The only thing that's drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
In this episode the girls welcome wine-o Luke Darracott of Madrid & Darracott as their FIRST GUEST. Luke tries to take three uneducated lushes through a wine 'education'.
Of course when you let a couple of half-cut cougars loose with an unsuspecting, wine-loving 30-something male you're going to get the appropriate amount of inappropriateness, to accompany what should be a classy sherry-tasting.
"Granny is just for Christmas, but not the wine" - Luke
"The good old days when we could lick each others faces" - Luke
Luke "Before you had to finish your date and make a decision by midnight" Hanni "Good for you, having choices"
Hanni "He's [Luke] a bit old for you" Tara "Are you over 30?!"
"It was as if you'd said 'the Germans should have won'" - Luke
"Listen you old bat, I'm a qualified alcoholic" - Luke
Jess "I have an older relative" Tara "Good for you - ours are all dead"
"She's not a very effective drinker" - Jess
"She's very tall so when she falls...." - Jess
"It's not about the size, it's all about the presentation" - Luke
"I also have an enormous penis" - Luke
"He started it" - Tara
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza. The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
In this episode we firmly confirm that we’re not involved in human trafficking, berate the American dinner, and revel in our newly found influencer powers.
“...I don’t think the Jehovah's are banned from podcasts, are they?” -Tara
“No, not banned! They just wouldn’t appreciate the content.” -Hanni
“I also think they avoid technology and stuff, don’t they?” -Jess
“No, that’s the… Moors.” -Tara
“Guys, we’re in dangerous territory.” -Hanni
“No- Not Moors I mean uh…” -Tara
“Mormons!” -Hanni
“Yes!” -Tara
“...I don’t even mean that, I mean the Amish!” - Tara
“I cannot afford the price of human trafficking.” -Hanni
“I might identify as a size 10.” -Tara
(Talking about passed away parents) “Neither of mine.” (Pause) “Okay, well, half.” -Jessica
“Fuckin’ baller, what can I tell you?” -Tara
“I’m a fucking influencer!” -Hanni
“Well, baller beats influencer, it’s like rock-paper-scissors.” -Tara
“Can’t call it Gyppo Rock, no?” -Tara
“...Well, ideally no, but you just did.” -Jessica
“Speaking of doing favours for Gibraltarians, what’s the Spit or Swallow for this week?” -Tara
“Tara- Her face is a poem, right now.” -Jessica
“Chicken wings sometimes have hair on them, still!” -Jessica
“They’re feathers, but okay.” -Tara
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza. The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
In today’s grand intro to season 2, we cast doubt on Jessica’s taste buds, celebrate the Aldi Christmas en-truffle-ing, and let Jamie Oliver know where exactly he went wrong.
Check out our merch right here!
Get Grape, Olive, Pig: Deep Travels Through Spain's Food Culture here!
“The only thing that’s saving (this topic) is the fact that we’re drinking cava.” -Hanni
“Tara was let loose in the supermarket, and came back with three forty bottles.” -Jessica “...Not forty bottles, some bottles at 3.40!” -Tara
“...To be honest, I’m not gonna lie, I’m still not sure last night if I had watermelon or tuna.” -Jessica
“Everything has truffle, and I am living for it!” -Jessica
“A happy bunch of Christmas rejects, with nowhere else to go, happily gathered together!” -Tara
(Talking about Santa Claus) “I don’t think he’s an actual saint.” -Hanni “I mean, he is a saint for putting up with us and coming every year!” -Jessica
“Tara is in a dress that nobody knows whey she ever, ever, ever would’ve ordered it. ...Well I could see why you would’ve ordered it in 1996, but the internet didn’t exist back then.” -Hanni
“We are educators among swine.” -Jessica
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza. The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
Today we're lamenting about home responsibilities, considering the buffalo-spiced bug, and discovering the true meaning of the 90s.
Quotes
“And I was in a uh, chemically altered state.”
“ ‘Chemically altered state?’ You were off your tits on E!”
“...Well, it was the 90s.”
“We do actually have day jobs, believe it or not.”
“The main problem that we have on this particular weekend is that we only went to one restaurant.”
“It’s appalling!”
“I’m still on Bumble though, if anyone’s looking for a…”
“Cougar in her prime!”
“You could… only go down head-first?”
“The 90’s were a fine time to be alive.”
“We can do what we want. All we do is win win win!”
“I think it’s about 6 centimetres long- How long would that be in your old-times measurements, Jess?”
“How big, Tara?”
“About this lo- I just brought my hands closer to the microphone.”
“What’s your Gra of the week, this week?”
“Oh, bugger....”
“Buggery?”
“No- That’s not it!”
This week we’re all about Nigella hash cakes, old man dates and the hugely underrated old town of Estepona via flights, day drinking and ex pats on Facebook groups.
As usual we chat on Gras of the week, what we’ve been eating, what we’d spit or swallow and the eternal question of what is an appropriate age of man to date.
We have a brand new feature #Nable you will LOVE IT. Promise. Pop and give us a listen.
Quotes
-I am stuck on what noise a Raccoon makes
-Well they’re normally just going through bins aren’t they?
-If anyone knows what a Raccoon sounds like, pop it on your Instagram story and tag us
- You can swap out milk for Baileys for the whole of December, I have it in my coffee every morning
- For that reason I have it on cornflakes. I tend to sift out the cornflakes though
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza. The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
As we nurse our wounded livers, today we talk about literal arranged travel, the scramble to renounce the British identity for diplomatic reasons, Tinder detective work, and the edibility of the colour orange.
2:10 “So we already had our flights booked, me and Tara- Jess decided she wanted in on the action.”
“That’s actually not true, Tara picked up my phone and said ‘Do you want to come to Puerto?’ and I said ‘I dunno, yeah?’ and then she booked the flight.”
3:40 “My mum has now adopted you, Tara!
“Which is going to be a bit weird, because that technically makes us sisters because we’ve both been adopted by her, so when the wedding rolls around she’s going to be mother of the bride, and mother of the bride.”
“She is very good at mother of the bride-”
“Well, she’s going to have to be!”
11:10 “If you’ve been Paragraph’d by Tara, please get in touch, support@sunshinesherryshenanigans… Oh sorry, wrong email raccoon@sunshinesherry...”
“If you are a young male between the ages 26 and 28 in the South of Spain-”
“...You’ve probably been Paragraph’d by Tara.”
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza. The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
In today’s Cava-fuelled oration, we break down the vegan attire and lifestyle (With some degree of prejudice), investigate the alchemical transmutation of watermelon into tuna, and recall the colourful nicknames we give to our children and our friends’ children.
History of the Almadraba (Spanish)
7:02 “Ah, yes, she’s really Irish.”
“She’s properly Irish- She hasn’t just got a shamrock tattooed on her left tit.”
9:20 “I just don’t like vegans.”
“What?”
“Don’t like vegans.”
“Any of them?”
“No. Well, maybe my friend Kate.”
10:43 (Discussing the appearance of vegans) “And misery- You feel the aura of just, disappointment.”
“I mean, you spend every meal eating fake eggs.”
Welcome back to Sunshine, Sherry & Shenanigans! Starring Hanni Martini, Tara Collins, & Jessica Baker Daza. The only thing that’s drier than the wine, is the sharp sense of humour.
In this slice of our adventures, we admit to lingerie lemon smuggling, discuss the high culinary art of deep frying, and navigate the minefield of hashtags in the dating world.
2:44 “I used to have a boyfriend who knew all about spark plugs, and all that stuff…”
“...A mechanic?”
6:48 (Talking about a sherry plant) “But we did have a lovely couple of hours in their lounge, knocking ourselves out on 5 bottles of sherry. We didn’t drink all of them, disclaimer.
(Pause)
...Gave it a good go.”
10:22 (Talking about the appeal of fried sea anemone) “They also don’t look offensive.”
“Well, that’s because they’re deep fried. Nothing deep fried looks offensive.”
12:54 (Talking about an upcoming date) “Also, the reason this is significant is because I have lots of dates, but they are literally just one date with a guy- It doesn’t very often go to a second date.”
“Doesn’t stop you using the #datenight on your Insta stories though, does it?”
20:25 “Did you try to get us out of bed?”
“I tried to get you out, yes.”
“...What did I do?”
“Snored.”
