You’ve done everything right—and still feel flat. Here’s the truth about the hidden shame behind “having it all.”
You’ve built the life that looks perfect on paper—career, family, success. But inside, you feel restless. Flat. Guilty for even wanting more. You tell yourself you should be happy, but gratitude doesn’t cancel out desire.
In this episode, Dasha unpacks the hidden shame of high-achieving women who have everything they thought they wanted—and still feel unfulfilled. She shares the real reason “enough” always moves farther away and why your craving for more joy, meaning, and aliveness isn’t selfish—it’s sacred.
Through stories from her clients and her own journey from therapist to transformation coach, Dasha reveals the three truths every recovering overachiever needs to hear:
If you’ve ever whispered, “Shouldn’t I be happy?”—you’re not broken. You’re evolving. You’re simply waking up to your next chapter.
“Gratitude grounds you. Desire expands you.”
“You’re not unhappy because your hormones are out of balance—you’re evolving, and your life just hasn’t caught up yet.”
Feeling like “good” isn’t enough anymore?
Download Dasha’s free guide, It’s Okay to Want More, and learn how to release the guilt that keeps you stuck in “I’m fine.”
Because a good life isn’t supposed to look perfect—it’s supposed to feel true to you.
Website: coachingbydasha.com
LinkedIn: Dasha Tcherniakovskaia
These leaks can shape your whole identity if you let them, but they can also be closed with the right mindset and habits.
In the final part of our energy leaks series, we're tackling the hardest ones—the patterns so deeply embedded they feel like who you are. But here's the truth: perfectionism rooted in shame, resentment that poisons only you, and emotional reactivity that hands your power to everyone else are not your identity. They're leaks you can seal.
Perfectionism isn't about high standards—it's about covering up feelings of inadequacy by chasing an unattainable goal. Whether you wear it as a badge of honor or disguise it as "high standards," you're exhausting yourself trying to avoid judgment instead of healing the underlying shame. Resentment feels like it punishes the other person, but as the saying goes, it's like taking poison and waiting for them to die. And emotional reactivity? That's victimhood in action—making your peace dependent on what everyone else does.
The deep fix for all of these isn't surface-level boundary setting. It's taking responsibility for everything that happens for you, not to you. It's learning that adults can't be abandoned, only children can. It's understanding that most people are on their own path, not targeting you personally. When you reclaim your power through personal responsibility and stop taking things personally, you shift from powerless victimhood into agency and intentional decision-making.
Key Topics:
"Your energy is your most valuable resource. Guard it like it's priceless, because it is."
Feeling overwhelmed because you're responsible for everything under the sun? Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.
Connect with Dasha:
These emotional leaks feel like such a part of your personality, but they're not—you can change them one small decision at a time.
In part two of our energy leaks series, we're diving into the emotional drains that might be so familiar you don't even recognize them as leaks. These aren't the obvious time-wasters—they're the sneaky patterns that keep you stuck in loops, chip away at your confidence, and leave you feeling depleted without knowing why.
Today I'm breaking down three major emotional leaks: living in the past (replaying old conversations and dwelling on regrets instead of preparing for your next opportunity), negative self-talk (including that self-deprecating humor that erodes your self-trust), and overcommitting through people-pleasing (the fastest path to burnout and resentment). As someone who used to do a lot for other people at my expense, thinking that's how I'd earn love and acceptance, I know firsthand what a damaging fallacy this is.
The solutions aren't surface-level boundary setting or time management techniques. We're talking about healing old wounds through therapy or coaching, replacing self-criticism with self-compassion using a simple formula, and learning to tolerate other people's disappointment when you protect your limited energy. Remember: no amount of people-pleasing will replace true self-love and acceptance.
Key Topics:
"Who would you be without this repetitive thought?"
Feeling overwhelmed because you're responsible for everything under the sun? Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.
Connect with Dasha:
If you're constantly feeling drained despite doing everything right, it's not because you're doing too much—it's because your energy is being mismanaged.
Think of energetic leaks like drips in a leaky faucet. One drip doesn't seem like much, but over time you've lost gallons of water. Except here, the water is your focus, patience, productivity, and joy. These tiny, often invisible drains on your mental, emotional, and physical energy pile up until you're running on fumes, leading to burnout and that constant sense of being behind no matter how much you accomplish.
As a recovered overachiever who's been exactly where you are, I know what it's like to feel flat and disconnected despite checking all the boxes. In this first episode of our three-part series, I'm breaking down the first three energy leaks that are easy to seal once you become aware of them: the mental load of incomplete tasks (it's not about having them, it's about holding them in your mind), compulsive phone checking that fragments your attention, and physical clutter that creates visual noise your brain has to constantly process.
The solution isn't more time management techniques or surface-level boundaries. It's about understanding what's actually draining you and taking personal responsibility for plugging these leaks. I share why meditation isn't optional if you want real change, and why your resistance to certain solutions probably means you need them most.
Key Topics:
"The stronger your reaction is against a particular solution, the more your body probably needs it."
Feeling overwhelmed because you're responsible for everything under the sun? Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.
Connect with Dasha:
Anxiety isn’t the enemy—it’s a messenger.
When you stop fighting your anxiety and start listening to it, you gain access to one of the most powerful guidance systems you already have.
Successful women often know anxiety all too well: the racing thoughts before a meeting, the tightness in your chest when you want to speak up but don’t, or the knot in your stomach when you say yes to something you don’t want to do. Most of us try to push it down, distract ourselves, or power through. But what if anxiety wasn’t the problem to fix, but a signal pointing you to what’s out of alignment?
In this episode, I share how I stopped treating anxiety like a nuisance and began using it as data. Anxiety is often a sign that your energy is leaking—whether through overcommitment, misaligned values, or people-pleasing. When you suppress it, you drain yourself. When you get curious about it, you recover your energy and your power.
I tell a personal story about a senior partner at work who triggered old patterns in me, and how listening to my anxiety helped me see that I wasn’t incompetent—I was ignoring boundaries. Once I named the truth and advocated for myself, I reclaimed my energy. Anxiety became a guide instead of a drain.
This episode is an invitation to shift your relationship with anxiety. Instead of silencing it, learn to ask: What is this here to tell me?
"When you work hard to ignore anxiety, it drains your energy. When you listen to it, it can protect you."
Feeling overwhelmed because you're responsible for everything under the sun? Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.
Website: coachingbydasha.com
LinkedIn: Dasha Tcherniakovskaia
The boundaries that start as necessary self-protection but end up turning into walls that shut out the relationships you're trying to preserve.
As overachievers, we often run without boundaries for years - saying yes, taking on more, fixing and helping everyone else at our expense. Then we discover boundaries and they feel life-changing. But sometimes in protecting ourselves after years of over-giving, our boundaries get rigid and isolating.
Dasha challenges the popular advice of "write down behaviors you won't tolerate, inform others, and if they cross them, walk away." While boundaries are essential, this approach can damage the relationships you're trying to improve.
The key insight: Boundaries aren't just about enforcement - they're about agreement.
She shares a common relationship scenario where one partner needs space after conflict while the other wants to talk immediately. Instead of rigid boundary enforcement, she suggests creating relational agreements ahead of time that honor both people's needs.
Key topics:
Questions to consider: Where have your boundaries become walls? How can you protect your energy without isolating yourself?
Feeling overwhelmed because you're responsible for everything under the sun? Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.
Connect with Dasha:
The shift that completely changed Dasha's life and mental health: learning to feel disappointed without letting it wreck you.
If you're a high-achieving woman who's been conditioned to think your worth equals your output, this episode is for you. Dasha breaks down how she moved from brutal self-criticism (replaying mistakes over and over, apologizing too much, spiraling into shame) to genuine self-acceptance - even when she messes up.
She shares the cringe-worthy story of being completely wrong in a meeting with a senior partner and how that one moment haunted her for years. Now? It's just a memory without emotions attached because she's learned the difference between disappointment and shame.
Key insights:
This isn't about becoming sloppy - it's about putting yourself in spaces that give you leeway to be excellent AND human.
Feeling overwhelmed because you're responsible for everything under the sun? Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.
Connect with Dasha:
LinkedIn:Dasha Tcherniakovskaia
You've checked all the boxes, done all the right things, and you're still wondering: is this it?
If your life looks good on paper but you're feeling flat, disconnected, and quietly panicked that nothing will change - you're experiencing what Dasha calls "the invisible crisis of limbo." It's when you're living a life of quiet desperation, suffering silently because from the outside, you look like you have it all together.
In this episode, Dasha shares her own experience of sitting in her beautiful office, working with big-name clients, and feeling hollow inside. She breaks down why this crisis is so sneaky (there's no acute pain forcing change) and the massive cost of staying stuck - both emotionally and physically.
Key topics:
You're not broken. You're not ungrateful. You're just ready for more.
Feeling overwhelmed because you're responsible for everything under the sun? Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.
Connect with Dasha:
Welcome to Overachiever Recovery - Breaking free from the exhaustion of having it all
You've built a successful life and checked all the boxes, but you feel flat, disconnected, like you're just going through the motions. If you're a successful woman wondering "is this all there is?" - this podcast is for you.
I'm Dasha, a former corporate lawyer turned transformation coach. I help successful women get to the root of what's keeping them stuck instead of giving surface-level solutions or dwelling on the past. You already have everything you need within you - it's time to access it and start living life on your terms.
This podcast is for you if you're ready to take personal responsibility and do the deep work. It's not for you if you're looking for quick fixes or want to blame others.
New episodes drop weekly.
Feeling overwhelmed because you're responsible for everything under the sun? Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.
Connect with Dasha:
LinkedIn:Dasha Tcherniakovskaia
