I believe that overthinking is connected to hypervigilance and is part of a post trauma response. For many survivors, overthinking became second nature, as you had no control over what was happening to you, and you began to think about, plan and replay events endlessly in your head. Simply because your survival depended on it. Question: Does it still serve you in your life as an adult? If not, keep listening to the blog, it provides answers. ► Visit our website for more information on ...

Keith Williams Survivor Keith was 7 years old when the abuse began by an older brother, this went on till he was 12 years of age, at which point Keith believes he aged out. The coercive control and manipulation was powerful and ensured Keith never spoke out. He finally found his voice during Covid in 2021. HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freephone: 0800 044 334 USA RAINN https://www.rainn.org...

Please reach out to contactus@handingtheshameback.org, we want to help you! If you have questions, we may have some answers, each month we provide a Q&A forum for you to help educate and inform. This month’s Q&A has a range of questions including: How do I help my kids identify who a ‘safe adult’ is? For this and more, have a watch of this short educational video, and learn something you may not have known. Once you know something, you can’t unknow it. For more on us, go to: handingth...

Do you ever find yourself overthinking and wondering why you do it? This can stem from anxiety, fear, and even feelings of not being seen, heard or understood. This was because during the time the abuse occurred, you had no way of overcoming what was happening to you. Instead of having healthy adaptive techniques you developed unhealthy maladaptive techniques. This led to becoming emotionally disregulated instead of being emotionally regulated, and so it goes on…. For more on us, ...

Lisa Mannina Survivor. Pilot. Metastatic Breast Cancer Warrior Lisa was abused by her mother's 3rd husband's son who was in his mid to late 20’s. She was 10 years old, this abuse carried on for 4 years and occurred at her family home, right under her mother’s and step father's eyes. She was frozen and confused and was told she wouldn't be believed if she ever told anyone. She did tell her best friend and she was believed. HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support...

For most of us possibilities are not something we ever seriously consider. We tend to live with thoughts of things not working out for us as opposed to the opposite: things working out well. Did you know that if you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right? There is so much potential that lies within all of us that is largely untapped. I believe this is because we are not aware of how to access it, let alone use it fully. It is widely considered that most of our minds are un...

We want to help you! If you have questions, we may have some answers, each month we provide a Q&A forum for you to help educate and inform. This month’s Q&A has a range of questions including: how to support Survivors as a partner or spouse? What if I say the wrong thing? For this and more, have a watch of this short educational video, and learn something you may not have known. Once you know something, you can’t unknow it. For more on us, go to: handingtheshameback.org We are ...

Meet Kieron Survivor. Educator. CEO and Founder of Speak It Out Kieron was 6 years old when the abuse began and was to continue until he was 17 years of age. This was perpetrated by someone close to him who he trusted and never thought would harm him. This was someone 4 years older than him. To find out more about Speak It Out, go to: https://www.speakitout.org/ HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survi...

The Mind Dissociates There is confusion around why this happens, but put simply the mind leaves when the body can’t. For survivors of child sexual abuse that is a blessing. But what if years later, as an adult, you are still quite dissociative? What if you are struggling to stay present? Can anything be done to help this? Yes it can, and Gloria shows how. For more on us, go to: handingtheshameback.org We are on all social media platforms: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HandingtheSh...

Meet Isabella Grosso Survivor. Dancer. Author She was abused from the age of 5 years by family friends and neighbours. She told her Dad, but nothing stopped after that. She could see the fear and sadness in his eyes so never spoke out again until she was in her 20’s. She felt her parents didn't want to know, and that her mother was also abused as a child. HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freep...

Do you ever find yourself struggling to let go of a situation? Do you ever find yourself uncomfortable with not having control or insight into what happens next? If the answer is yes, you stand in good company. Many survivors experience just that, and it is more common than you think. It makes sense, as being abused as children you didn’t have any control, let alone understand how to manage it. ► Visit our website for more information on our foundation: handingtheshameback.org ► Donate please...

We want to help you! If you have questions, we may have some answers, each month we provide a Q&A forum for you to help educate and inform. This month’s Q&A has a range of questions including: how to approach schools who are posting children's pictures on Facebook? For this and more, have a watch of this short educational video, and learn something you may not have known. Once you know something, you can’t unknow it. For more on us, go to: handingtheshameback.org We are on all social ...

Meet Lee Cooper Survivor. Advocate. Photographer He was abused between 11-13 by a family member. He told no-one until he turned 31 years of age, and that was to his girlfriend. He believes that perpetrators know that disclosure is like a nuclear bomb going off which is why they so confidently operate under the cover of silence. HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freephone: 0800 044 334 US...

Having a quiet time where you can connect in with your inner wisdom, will give you the answers you need. Your higher self is always at play, but you can only truly let go when you trust your instinct. The easiest and most effective way is through the following gateway: Go within. It may feel odd, and contrary to what you are told… as in look outside yourself for the answers, through other people, books, etc. But the real wisdom of being able to Let go, lies within you. For more on us, go to: ...

We are fortunate to have a member of NZ Police share the Global Hand Sign message in Te Reo. Please share far and wide so all who need to can see the hand sign and hear it. The more people that see this, the more children we can save. For more information, visit: ✅ Global Hand Sign: handingtheshameback.org/global-hand-sign ✅ Global Hand Sign Response: handingtheshameback.org/global-hand-sign-response ----------------------------------------------- English translation: Hello, If you nee...

Meet Debbra Blosnich Survivor. Author. Transformational Life Coach Between the ages of 6 - 18 she was abused by her father, with him telling her you can’t get pregnant, I’ve been fixed. She was 12 at the time. At the age of 9 her mother asked her if her father ‘did’ things to her, with Debbra not answering the question fully as she didn't know how to respond. She was later to discover her father went on to abuse her sisters and niece. For more information, resources, or coaching — whet...

Most of us would rather not revisit the past. It was traumatic, frightening, and understandably triggering. But what if I told you that how you approach your past could make all the difference? What if, by gently reflecting, you could make sense of it and gather some valuable insights about the child you were, and the adult you’ve become as a result? There is real value in understanding more of who we are. In doing so, we begin to regain mastery over our lives—even the painful parts th...

Meet Marvin Hitchman Survivor. Author. A fighter who wants to make more people aware of child sexual abuse. He was also born in prison. When he was adopted out, he never bonded with his adoptive father, and found himself feeling isolated. He took refuge outside the home, and it was there he was preyed upon. His abuser sexually abused from the age of 11 to 14 years of age, with no respite. He is now an author and legend, helping others to deal with their trauma. HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0...

This month’s Q&A has a range of questions including: Why use the hand sign when it's for everyone else to use? Do survivors of child sexual abuse more likely to go on and abuse children? For these answers and more, have a watch of this short educational video, and learn something you may not have known. We all know once you know something, you can’t unknow it. For more on us, go to: handingtheshameback.org We are on all social media platforms: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Handingthe...

The role guilt plays in sexual abuse as a child is varied. Please note, that without exception; if you are a survivor of this trauma, you were undoubtedly groomed, manipulated and often bullied into being complicit. However it manifested, you would have felt guilt. As an adult looking back, although you understand this, sometimes the guilt feels too much. Have a listen to this to begin finding your way back to empowerment and self belief. For more on us, go to: handingtheshameback.org ...