“At our age, the end is much closer than the beginning”.
Two old men sit down every week to reflect on their experiences through life, how they live their lives in the present day, and most importantly, how they’ve stopped giving a sh*t.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
“At our age, the end is much closer than the beginning”.
Two old men sit down every week to reflect on their experiences through life, how they live their lives in the present day, and most importantly, how they’ve stopped giving a sh*t.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this candid episode, Byron and Paul tackle sobering news: dementia has overtaken heart disease as the leading cause of death for Australians, with 17,500 deaths registered last year. Both hosts share deeply personal experiences, having lost their mothers to the disease.
Drawing from their family histories, they explore the potential link between chronic stress and dementia, examining how their mothers' stressful lives—marked by single parenthood, financial pressure during the late 1980s recession, and caregiving responsibilities—may have contributed to their early decline.
The conversation shifts to an honest examination of their own lives today. Despite being in privileged positions, both hosts grapple with Australia's overwhelming cost of living: million-dollar median house prices, $9 coffee, $100 daily expenses just to visit the city, and aged care facilities requiring $1 million bonds plus $100,000 annually.
This leads to serious contemplation of the "bodhi tree option"—relocating to Thailand where accommodation costs just $700 per month, meals total $30 per day, and quality of life could dramatically improve. They discuss retirement visa requirements ($36,000-$37,000 in a Thai bank account) and compare potential monthly expenses of $2,000 in Thailand versus over $100,000 annually in Australia.
Byron shares a recent health wake-up call: his doctor warned he's now in a high-risk category for stroke, heart attack, and diabetes, forcing him to confront how work stress has compromised his health over the years. Paul reflects on exercise as his primary stress relief and questions whether their current lifestyle is sustainable.
The episode touches on food insecurity in Australia, with Byron's charity work revealing people in their 50s accessing charity meals for the first time after job loss. They discuss the cumulative effects of stress (illustrated by Byron's "glass of water" metaphor), the rising costs of dementia care, and whether modern life's pressures justify the sacrifice.
Key themes: dementia prevention, stress management, cost of living crisis, retirement planning, geographical arbitrage, work-life balance, health consciousness, and questioning societal expectations.
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In this episode, Byron opens up about his evolving understanding of masculinity—from his post-divorce years chasing external markers of success (the Porsche, multiple partners, the best table at restaurants) to his current view that true masculinity means being comfortable with who you are.
Byron reflects on how his definition has shifted from externally focused to internally focused, emphasizing that vulnerability is actually strength. The conversation explores how mental models from our past shape us, the importance of unlearning limiting beliefs, and why life is ultimately a "single player game."
Paul and Byron also discuss role models, the value of reading biographies, and the difference between being a good human being versus conforming to societal expectations of what it means to "be a man."
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In episode 34 of The Old Men in the Seat, Byron and Paul dive deep into a profound philosophical question: what does it mean that there's only one you?
Paul introduces the concept that life is fundamentally a "single player game" – no matter how close your relationships, your lived experience is entirely unique and can never be fully shared or understood by another person. Even best friends who share extensively can only understand about 20% of each other's inner world.
Key topics explored:
The uniqueness of lived experience – How every individual's combination of formative experiences, traumas, circumstances, and perspectives creates someone completely unrepeatable
The limits of empathy and communication – Why we can never truly get inside another person's mind or body to feel what they feel, despite our best efforts to share and connect
The comparison trap – How measuring yourself against peers at school reunions or in career achievements becomes meaningless when you recognize that everyone's path is fundamentally incomparable
Memory and perspective – Why even our own recollections may be unreliable, and how two people experiencing the same moment will remember it differently
Judgment and understanding – A thoughtful discussion about suicide and major life decisions, emphasizing how we cannot judge others' choices without knowing their complete lived experience
The value of intimate relationships – How friendships and close relationships provide precious outlets for sharing our internal worlds, even if complete understanding remains impossible
Byron and Paul explore how recognizing life's "single player" nature can paradoxically reduce anxiety, eliminate destructive comparisons, and help us appreciate what's fundamentally unique about each person. They acknowledge the pain that comes with the impossibility of fully knowing even our closest loved ones, while celebrating the privilege of deep friendship and genuine attempts at connection.
In a meta-twist at the end, Byron proposes using AI to analyze whether their philosophical musings have any academic support, setting up an intriguing experiment for future episodes.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this raw and reflective conversation, Byron and Paul tackle some of life's biggest questions as they navigate their late 50s. Starting with frustrations over World Cup ticket pricing and the inaccessibility of major sporting events, they spiral into deeper territory: Is the capitalist system still working for ordinary people? Should they have prioritized differently when younger?
The discussion moves from Porsches and material aspirations to the harsh realities of financial security, family relationships, and what truly matters. Byron shares poignant reflections on his parents—his mother's quiet dignity versus his father's self-serving legacy. Both hosts open up about their deepest fears: losing loved ones, cognitive decline, and whether their children will respect them in their final years.
They question whether the relentless pursuit of success was worth the trade-offs, discuss the fisherman parable about life's simple joys, and wonder if they should just "give up" and live more essentially. It's an honest, vulnerable conversation about aging, regret, love, loss, and what makes life meaningful when you're staring down the final decades.
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In this deeply reflective episode, best friends Byron and Paul dive into their evolving relationship with time as they navigate middle age. They explore the shift from merely "getting through" days to genuinely appreciating the present moment, discussing how age has made them acutely aware that time is their most finite resource.
The conversation touches on:
Byron shares his journey from constantly trying to meet others' expectations to seeking enrichment in daily life, while Paul reflects on the challenge of being truly present. They conclude that their ideal life might simply be their current routine of walks, meaningful work, and time together - with perhaps a Merseyside derby thrown in.
A thought-provoking discussion about mortality, presence, and what makes a day well-lived, perfect for anyone questioning how they're spending their precious time.
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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In their episode, Byron and Paul begin by thanking a listener for feedback that helped them resolve a microphone issue, improving their audio quality. The core of this episode builds upon a previous discussion about success, sparked by an article Byron encountered on his news feed. They delve into various criteria for success, emphasizing a departure from traditional, purely financial benchmarks. The initial points cover financial stability, defined as possessing an emergency fund and minimal consumer debt, which Byron now experiences as a chef despite a lower income. Paul then highlights the paramount importance of cultivating at least a truly supportive relationship, arguing it should be the top criterion due to its stress-reducing, life-extending, and meaning-providing benefits that money cannot offer. They also discuss the significance of finding meaningful work, which they agree ideally feels like play rather than merely a high-paying job.
The conversation continues to explore further aspects of a successful life. They emphasize learning how to manage emotions, particularly boredom, jealousy, and anger, with Byron noting how a lack of emotional control has led to past troubles. Paul concurs, underscoring the wisdom in taking time before responding emotionally. They then consider overcoming at least a major challenge in life, with Byron sharing his transformative experience of transitioning from a corporate role to becoming a chef, and Paul recounting his shift from gym training to triathlons. Another criterion is achieving a sense of inner peace, which both hosts acknowledge as an ongoing journey focused on finding moments of tranquility rather than a fixed destination. They also touch upon positively impacting another person's life, finding increasing pleasure in teaching and mentoring as they've aged. Byron introduces a personal criterion: having a sense of loving and liking oneself, advocating for embracing "good enough" instead of striving for constant perfection, which aligns with their shared desire for less anxiety and a focus on personal well-being over external validation.
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In this positive episode, Byron and Paul discuss their personal insights into achieving happiness and contentment. They identify strong, healthy relationships as a cornerstone, emphasizing quality time together and the crucial step of removing toxic individuals to minimize stress and negative experiences. A second key lesson is living within one's means, highlighting how financial stress from unnecessary luxury spending significantly impacts well-being, and how simplifying costs can lead to greater happiness.
The hosts further explore the importance of living in the present moment, being grateful, and discerning realistic anxieties from improbable fears to avoid dwelling on uncontrollable factors. Gaining a sense of control and agency over one's life is presented as a vital source of happiness. They also stress the benefit of letting go of societal expectations regarding success and material possessions, which often lead to comparison. Finally, good sleep and regular exercise are noted as foundational for mental health and overall contentment.
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Welcome to the 27th episode of "The Old Men and the Seat," where hosts Byron and Paul dive deep into the concept of travel and its profound impact on life.
Byron shares his philosophy of using holidays to completely escape his ordinary life, seeking total irresponsibility and an "alternate life" free from the structured existence he experiences in Melbourne. Paul, while also appreciating a change of environment, highlights the joy of sharing travel experiences with loved ones and engaging in simple, meaningful conversations.
The discussion broadens to fundamental questions about identity and societal expectations. Byron reflects on the philosopher Alain de Botton's insight about "bringing myself with me to the island," highlighting the challenge of truly escaping oneself. They question why the mental relaxation and simplicity of life during travel cannot be maintained constantly, especially given the perceived stress of their everyday lives. The hosts critically examine the societal pressure to be constantly productive and create value, musing if this is merely a "social justification for the exploitation of the human being". They also explore how holidays can serve as a potent preview for retirement, offering coveted elements of freedom and choice. The episode delves into the distinct nature of traveling alone versus with companions, ultimately prompting a compelling inquiry into what it means to discover one's "real me" when liberated from daily obligations.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.