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The Middle Kath
Kathie
24 episodes
1 month ago
If you are a person of extremes - emotions, moods, behaviors, addictions, obsessions, all-or-nothing thinking, this podcast is for you. We’re going to get deep into healing from behavior patterns that disconnect us from our true selves. Welcome to The Middle Kath, where we are finding the middle path to a balanced life through self worth, self love, self compassion and forgiveness. I am your host, Kathie. Follow me to be notified of new episodes, and thanks for listening.
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Alternative Health
Health & Fitness
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All content for The Middle Kath is the property of Kathie and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
If you are a person of extremes - emotions, moods, behaviors, addictions, obsessions, all-or-nothing thinking, this podcast is for you. We’re going to get deep into healing from behavior patterns that disconnect us from our true selves. Welcome to The Middle Kath, where we are finding the middle path to a balanced life through self worth, self love, self compassion and forgiveness. I am your host, Kathie. Follow me to be notified of new episodes, and thanks for listening.
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Alternative Health
Health & Fitness
Episodes (20/24)
The Middle Kath
23: Remembering Who I Am

My dad was a Catholic priest, my mom was a nun, and I'm Jewish! In October, in the lead up to the U.S. election, I was overwhelmed. I declared my refusal to join a “team,” and said I was not affiliating based on politics or religion or even sports. 

I refused to identify with a political party. I reject what I feel to be the body control of the right wing and the mind control of the left wing. I also reject rugged individualism and “pulling oneself up by their bootstraps,” because as a person with bipolar disorder, I see how essential social programs and mental health support are. On the other hand, I’m no fan of corrupt management anywhere - in the public or private sector. 

I had been disengaged from religion, especially religious leaders, for well over a year. And I had never been much of a sports fan anyway. I was averse to joining a “team” of any kind, championing my “team” as superior to the “other team.” I had no energy for it. As I remember who I am, I am finding myself engaging more in all three areas. I share all three, starting with sports, then religion, and finally politics.

About Dave Bradley:

Video - Tribute to Senator David Bradley

Podcast featuring Dave Bradley - Arizona Common Ground ep. 8 No Sleep Till Signe Die 

Tribute site - Home | David T Bradley

Dave Bradley’s books:

Management By Essay Leading by Hope: Dave Bradley, Tom Spitz: 9780974565705: Amazon.com: Books

Pursuits of Justice: Politics by Essay: Dave Bradley: 9781604943917: Amazon.com: Books

Video - The Stoat - a fearless acrobat and rabbit hunter! Interesting facts about Stoats

Songs:

Always Remember Us This Way - song and lyrics by Lady Gaga | Spotify

Anything My Mama Don't Like - song and lyrics by Helloween | Spotify

Asshole • Denis Leary

My Self-Differentiation Playlist:

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/playlist/740DwOfHTeQnE7wz5BeWfw?si=W7F6WYY1TR6_lp8VM48elw&pi=pxvVk_mPR-ai1 

YouTube https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2ofevW3zoBVZj_UXQ878Y-NOXjPB-kE_&si=JOa5ytD6Nfn22OSu 

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8 months ago
20 minutes 52 seconds

The Middle Kath
22: My Psychiatry Journey: How I tapered off daily meds

I have realized doctors may be experts on diagnosing diseases, but I’m the expert on me. With psychiatry, as with all healing modalities, I take what I like and leave the rest. 


Daily meds work for many people, but didn’t work for me. I was told I would need to take meds for both my thyroid and brain every day for the rest of my life. After over 15 years on thyroid meds and 4 years on psych meds, I successfully tapered off all daily prescriptions in 2023, under the supervision of my psychiatrist, endocrinologist and acupuncturist.


Tapering was definitely the right decision for me long term. Short term, however, I wish I had researched tapering first because my psychiatrist’s pace was way too fast. He tapered me off the antidepressant over weeks, and it likely should have been months to reset my neurotransmitters more gently. It resulted in terrible withdrawals, and I thought I’d have to resume the antidepressant. Instead, I continued tapering off the mood stabilizer too.


Ultimately, I am healing from extremes by trying to find the middle path with every possible healing resource available to me. 


The Middle Kath episode 3: Acupuncture

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6FXfOmeu52T2oDYGpcUDuw?si=DlcVq1rJRiOiaLtUASYo0Q

Additional resources:

Lauren Kennedy West - Metabolic Therapies youtube.com/@LivingWellAfterSchizophrenia

What This Year Taught Me About Being Human

Degrees of Health Podcast interview: Lauren Kennedy West | From Schizophrenia to Symptom-Free - Metabolic Therapies for Mental Health

Dr. Christopher Palmer - Metabolic Psychiatry & Brain Energy youtube.com/@ChrisPalmerMD

Dr. Josef Witt-Doerring - Taper Clinic youtube.com/@taperclinic

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10 months ago
8 minutes 2 seconds

The Middle Kath
21: Eva Nelson's Guided Meditation for Energy Clearing and Releasing

This is Eva Nelson's guided meditation for energy clearing and releasing. The purpose is to help you discover what it feels like to be in your own energy, in your own space.

Doing this meditation daily can help you get more and more connected to your essence, to who you really are, and to feel what your vibration feels like. Try to notice when and if you get knocked out of your center, or if other people try to cross your boundaries. Observe it all with curiosity, and use this meditation to help you stay in your center and return to balance.

Published with permission from Eva Nelson. Learn more from Eva here:

Website: ⁠Healing And Spiritual Growth | Eva Nelson Healing | United States⁠ 

Instagram: ⁠Spiritual Coach, Healer and Teacher (@evanelsonhealing) • Instagram⁠

Podcast: ⁠Life Is Messy | Podcast on Spotify

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10 months ago
11 minutes 22 seconds

The Middle Kath
20: Healer Reveal! Interview with Eva Nelson, Spiritual Healer

Welcome to the first ever “healer reveal” on The Middle Kath podcast! Everyone I mention here has a pseudonym, except for me and my interviewees. The woman I named “Skye” in episode 12 on shamanic breathwork, and in episode 13 about her transformational breathwork retreat, is actually named Eva Nelson. In this interview, I share my experience working with Eva. We then dive into her healing work and what she has learned about herself, her clients, and what it means to be human. 

My acupuncturist had repeated the affirmation for me, “my body is healing itself,” countless times for the three years leading up to 2023 before I actually started to believe it. At the deepest level, the most important message you will take away from Eva Nelson is “you are your own healer.” I credit Eva with validating this truth in my life, and for giving me enormous clarity into my higher self and relationships with others. 

Rather than fixing, finding, or improving ourselves, healing ourselves is about remembering who we really are, before we were conditioned into our stories and limiting beliefs.

Topics covered include: self healing, remembering who you are, energy work and spiritual healing for trauma, codependency, addiction, and people pleasing. Eva expands on shamanic breathwork, cord cutting, mediumship, and intuition development.

Learn more from Eva here:

Website: ⁠⁠Healing And Spiritual Growth | Eva Nelson Healing | United States⁠⁠ 

Instagram: ⁠⁠Spiritual Coach, Healer and Teacher (@evanelsonhealing) • Instagram⁠⁠

Podcast: ⁠⁠Life Is Messy | Podcast on Spotify

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10 months ago
1 hour 9 minutes 54 seconds

The Middle Kath
19: Video interview: Abby Fenix, author of Forever the Phoenix: Life is Choice

Has anyone ever told you that your life story is so shocking that you should write a book about it? Have you ever survived a medical condition - or several - that were life-threatening, mysterious, or both? Abby Fenix has, and her autobiography, Forever the Phoenix, Life is Choice, is available now on Kindle and audiobook.

Abby’s story is one of extremes, with themes of resilience, hope, and “rising from the ashes.” Her healing journey touches on multiple extremes of suffering in body, mind, and spirit. Her story is one of unstoppable will, determination, drive - and plenty of humor to survive it all.

Abby Fenix not only has a lot of wisdom, she is a healing expander and living example of how to beat the odds. If you relate to any part of her story, this is your invitation to join her on her journey and heal yourself in the process. 

In this episode, Abby and I explore her story, some of the challenges she overcame, her healing journey, and her path to finding balance and abundance. 

Buy the book on Amazon: ⁠⁠Forever the Phoenix: Life is Choice⁠⁠

Follow Abby Fenix: Abby Fenix | Facebook |  (@abby.fenix) • Instagram | abbyfenix.com

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10 months ago
1 hour 23 minutes 58 seconds

The Middle Kath
18: Video Interview: Inner work in prison - Brian Collins, Smiles for Miles

After watching the first video I saw on Brian’s channel, I knew I would interview him about inner work one day. His story about overcoming addiction to heroin and meth, while in prison and then on house arrest, is inspiring. 

Brian was an expander for me on what is actually possible in publicly speaking my truth and risking vulnerability on video. He demonstrates the freedom that inner work can bring, no matter the limits imposed upon us.

Please check out his channel here: Smiles for Miles - YouTube

Episode Outline:

It is widely believed that the opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety, it’s connection. In this interview, Brian speaks on the theme of connection in 4 parts:

  1. ​Early life, childhood dreams, why he became a RN
  2. ​Losing connection to self - people-pleasing, codependency, addiction, prison
  3. ​Reconnecting to self - inner work, healing modalities
  4. ​The future - maintaining connection to self, reconnecting to others

Have you ever thought about telling your story like me and Brian? We end the episode with tips on how to get started if you’re nervous to try it. 

Book: Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs https://a.co/d/6BCpCMa

Heart and Brain comics - The Awkward Yeti https://www.instagram.com/p/C-ajsoGuf5d/?igsh=MWQ1ZGUxMzBkMA==

Song of the day: The Rolling Stones “Connection” https://youtu.be/kfCojeLOIBA?si=kz4iQyZQ5dl8N-mq

Podcast: Pete Holmes on The Rich Roll Podcast https://open.spotify.com/episode/5ed2XEX0UJPjUhiGg06Tdq?si=lbcElD_xSEmNp0VhsfUthA

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1 year ago
1 hour 27 minutes 57 seconds

The Middle Kath
17: First Video Episode - Bully Types: Desperate vs. Expert

In this first video episode, I share the concept of desperate versus expert bullies. I learned it from Shawn Smith, author of Surviving Aggressive People, on an episode of The Art of Manliness podcast (link below).

I refer to my personal experiences with getting bullied at home, in friendships, and at work. My goal is to be an expander for others on setting boundaries.

The song of the day is in honor of today's Sturgeon Moon, which is both a supermoon and blue moon. The word "lunatic" comes from “lunaticus,” meaning “of the moon” or “moonstruck": Billy Joel - You May Be Right (Official Video) (youtube.com)

Notes:

Surviving Aggressive People, by Shawn Smith: https://a.co/d/eIEkSf4

Shawn Smith on The Art of Manliness podcast: #230: How to Deal With Aggressive People - The Art of Manliness | Podcast on Spotify

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1 year ago
10 minutes 49 seconds

The Middle Kath
16: The Bipolar Social Club on goal setting and self love

In this episode, I share two important concepts that came up recently in The Bipolar Social Club Google group: goal setting and how to love yourself. It’s a phenomenal group. Check out the links below to learn more:


The Bipolar Social Club | Paul English | TEDx Boston https://youtu.be/AV1c_0IuC8w?si=A_7SSXaAm2vIUrGl


Request to join here: https://www.bipolarsocialclub.org/


Book - Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, by Kristin Neff, PhD. On Hoopla, my library’s audiobook app for free listening: https://www.hoopladigital.com/title/11589060


















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1 year ago
11 minutes 14 seconds

The Middle Kath
15: Listener question: How to detach self worth from accomplishments?
My unscripted answer to my first listener question, “Do you have any recommendations for how to detach self-worth from work/accomplishments?” Notes: Hailey Magee - Author, Stop People Pleasing https://www.instagram.com/haileypaigemagee?igsh=MWQ1ZGUxMzBkMA== Jefferson Fisher - Attorney, talking points for boundary setting https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher?igsh=MWQ1ZGUxMzBkMA==
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1 year ago
11 minutes 42 seconds

The Middle Kath
14: Healing modality: 12-step recovery - Interview with my brother
For this first ever interview episode, I am grateful my brother agreed to share his experience in 12-step recovery with Alcoholics Anonymous. Having experienced many meetings myself at Al-Anon, a 12-step program for friends and family members of alcoholics, I know firsthand how transformative 12-step can be. In this episode, Ben shares the experiences that brought him to AA, how he found good meetings, how he chose his sponsors, and what he learned from sponsoring others. We discuss the experiences that prompted him to leave AA after 11 years of sobriety, and what brought him back. We also cover criticism and common misconceptions about 12-step programs. We close with Ben’s thoughts on how to find balance, or the “middle path” in recovery, leveraging it to live a fuller and healthier life. Notes: 12-step programs covered in this episode: Alcoholics Anonymous https://www.aa.org/ Al-Anon https://al-anon.org/ Books: One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II https://al-anon.org/for-members/members-resources/literature/feature-publications/courage-to-change-one-day-at-a-time-in-al-anon-ii-b16/ Alcoholics Anonymous - The Big Book https://www.aa.org/the-big-book Call Sign Chaos: Learning to Lead https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/240358/call-sign-chaos-by-jim-mattis-and-bing-west/
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1 year ago
1 hour 20 minutes 11 seconds

The Middle Kath
13: Healing modality: Transformative Retreat and… Herpes?!
I learned the hard way that healing work and energy treatment can sometimes trigger a healing crisis of the body, temporarily. In April, I attended a healing retreat, which was, without question, the most valuable retreat of my life. The focus of it was “remembering who you are” through transformative breathwork and yoga. At the retreat, it began with a bacterial finger infection - cellulitis. A few days into dealing with the infection, I got the flu for the first time in well over 5 years. And then, the seemingly impossible happened. After 20 years in a monogamous relationship, I suddenly found myself with my first outbreak of what multiple medical professionals suspected was genital herpes - for weeks. It turned out to be “just” inflammation, but in the period of time when I fully believed it was herpes, I found myself in shock, and launched into the stages of grief. Importantly, instead of greater shame, this experience actually resulted in an upleveling of self love and inner strength. This was my first experience of a healing crisis like this, and I believe it is evidence of the profound impact the retreat had on deprogramming my limiting beliefs, stories of unworthiness, and intergenerational sexual shame. In remembering who I am, I detoxified my body, mind, and spirit. Notes: Video: Jelly Roll gives powerful testimony to Congress on fentanyl https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16MTQ-bXbpY Articles: Healing Crisis After an Energy Treatment https://www.spiritualityhealth.com/articles/2018/08/29/a-healing-crisis-after-an-energy-treatment Sin, Sex and the Inner Tyrant https://ajahnsucitto.org/reflections/sin-sex-and-the-inner-tyrant/ Root Chakra Healing: The Science, Traditions, and Techniques https://www.healthline.com/health/mind-body/root-chakra-healing Affirmation Card deck: I Am Everything, by Tarisha Clark: https://www.uncommongoods.com/product/i-am-everything-affirmation-card-deck Songs: Self-Differentiation Playlist Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/740DwOfHTeQnE7wz5BeWfw?si=e3IF1XmdQl6IBmSEgH654g&pi=u-ePm_JXzOSx6P Self-Differentiation Playlist YouTube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2ofevW3zoBVZj_UXQ878Y-NOXjPB-kE_&feature=shared
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1 year ago
1 hour 9 minutes 13 seconds

The Middle Kath
12: Healing modality: Shamanic breathwork
Shamanic breathwork is the biggest bang-for-buck healing modality I’ve tried, in terms of both money and time invested. In this episode, I share what I gained in each of my five shamanic breathwork journeys from 2019 to the present: Journey 1: Massive rage release Journey 2: Reunification with inner child Journey 3: Vision of leadership that came true Journey 4: Strength and truth Journey 5: Letting go Other topics featured in this episode: cord cutting energy work, improv comedy for healing, the link between autoimmune disorders and self hatred, overcoming suicidal ideation, and coregulation between parents and children. References: Books: Sarah Wilson: First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Journey Through Anxiety Dr Ramani Durvasula, PhD: It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People James Nestor: Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art Articles: Some Harsh Advice for People Who Hate Themselves | Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meaning-lost-and-found/202302/some-harsh-advice-for-people-who-hate-themselves On Autoimmune Disease and Self-Hatred - part I | Return to Source Wellbeing - Kinesiology & Intuitive Healing | Sunshine Coast, QLD https://www.returntosourcewellbeing.com/autoimmune-disease-self-hatred-part/ Could female self-hatred be the real cause of autoimmune disease? - Sarah Wilson https://sarahwilson.com/2014/11/could-female-self-hatred-be-the-real-cause-of-autoimmune-disease/ Podcasts: Adult Child Podcast, featuring the song Let It All Go https://open.spotify.com/show/4T65uJfo4skTLkpcHYyw9k?si=XkVFWYV3Qg6l3BilsaTy8w
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1 year ago
49 minutes 38 seconds

The Middle Kath
11: Healing wins • New year goals 2024
In this episode, I ring in the new year by sharing some of the results I’ve realized through healing work since my breakdown/breakthrough five years ago. I hope that sharing these 11 wins will make the healing modalities episodes to follow more relevant, applicable, and realistic for you in your healing journey. 11 Healing Wins: 1. Awakening to the reality of narcissistic abuse trauma 2. Unlocking self worth through nutrition 3. Recovering from sugar addiction 4. Quitting all prescription medication 5. Increasing mental strength through physical strength 6. Overcoming fear of confrontation 7. Moving on from obsession 8. Stopping “bad mom” suicidal ideation 9. Shedding the Golden Child role 10. Shedding the Identified Patient role 11. Launching The Middle Kath podcast References: Butternut squash and chickpea curry recipe: https://www.keepingthepeas.com/butternut-squash-chickpea-curry/ What is the healthiest diet? - Dr. Michael Greger: https://nutritionfacts.org/ “Sugar is not a treat” TED talk - Dr. Jody Stanislaw: https://youtu.be/tic7X3ET4gE?si=oN396ulLmXVSTxat “Are they REALLY a Narcissist? NPD vs CPTSD & Childhood Trauma” - Patrick Teahan, LICSW: https://youtu.be/mAFyxGsnqKc?si=YxU8QyfvAlLnvGi1
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1 year ago
58 minutes 33 seconds

The Middle Kath
10: Children’s book: Jealousy in More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
One of the most memorable stories in the book, More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, is called “The Bed by the Window.” A jealous man destroys another only to find he did it for nothing. Instant karma. In my experience, this story touches on what it’s like to be pedestalized as a Golden Child, which attracts intense jealousy. Jealousy is central to narcissistic family dynamics, and I have found that compliments from the self absorbed are often just an expression of jealousy. Jealousy is both a compliment and high praise from them, because they’d like to believe everyone is jealous of them, too. Surprisingly, the Golden Child, like the Scapegoat, is also actually unseen, unknown, and unloved for who they are. Self love doesn’t come from external approval and praise, it comes from within. It’s not earned, and it actually can’t be lost. Self love, while at times can feel elusive, is, even then, unconditional. I believe self love and the survival instinct are linked. Part of us never disconnects from love, no matter how self hating, worthless, and suicidal we might feel. Every person is a mosaic, and I do believe everyone contributes something from this part of their highest self, their soul, or their light. My younger self from 2019 was so destroyed by low self worth that she would be astonished to hear that I now believe that self love, while at times can feel elusive, is unconditional. I also believe self love and the survival instinct are linked. Part of us never disconnects from love, no matter how self hating, worthless, and suicidal we might feel. We might feel disconnected from it, but I believe there’s a connection between love and our highest self.
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1 year ago
14 minutes 35 seconds

The Middle Kath
9: Healing from extremes: Pedestals
Whatever someone’s accomplishments, accolades, degrees, power, fame, fortune, humanitarianism, religiosity, talent, brilliance, influence, whatever: no one belongs on a pedestal. Pedestaling is the opposite of an honor, and it hurts all parties. Circularly, we maintain our pedestals to validate our fantasy of reality. The pedestalized aren’t allowed to be real, we don’t want real, we want the pedestal. Pedestals are harmful for everyone involved: both the idealized one required to live up to the fantasies of the admirer, and the admirer who believes the illusion of their inferiority. Freedom from both sides of the pedestal comes with seeing truth and speaking truth. Joining a narcissist in reinforcing their pedestal fantasy only enables them in their esteem addiction. Forcing someone else onto a pedestal against their will, such as a Golden Child, destroys their self worth because they are made to live up to an impossible fantasy. It is a gilded cage to be venerated for your mask, the fantasy of who you are, and not the whole you - only the parts that validate the propaganda about you. The path to freedom from the prison of one’s own pedestal is not self destruction. It is to accept imperfection, self differentiate, speak truth, and become real.
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1 year ago
39 minutes 37 seconds

The Middle Kath
8: Healing from extremes: Avoiding confrontation
This episode on healing the extreme behavior of avoiding confrontation underwent a full rewrite and re-recording. In fact, the Scapegoat episode emerged while writing this episode on confrontation, and may be worth hearing before this one, if you haven’t already. The first version of this episode was so angry that the middle path was not in sight. While anger is certainly justified, it can turn off perspective, narrowing focus and seeing things more in black and white, rather than the complex full color mosaic of multiple truths. The point of the mosaic is clarity, and seeing as much of the whole truth as possible. Rather than succumbing to my inner volcano of rage, I want to demonstrate how I grapple with overwhelming anger by actively increasing self worth, self love, and inner strength to protect myself, so that maybe you can better protect yourself too. I want to approach conflict with centeredness, like a Jedi, powerfully protecting my boundaries without the extremes of either total submission or getting dragged into the muck of a fight with a bully. It’s deflecting incoming attacks from the mindset of tai chi, not engaging in MMA combat with an aggressor. Many of us avoid confrontation as if it were life-threatening, because the risk of it going badly, and resulting in us getting kicked out of our tribe, feels terrifying. But what I have learned is: healthy confrontation is love. It is loving to put in the effort to set boundaries with someone who has none. They can’t do it, so we have to, like a good parent, or both we and them suffer. It is also loving to apologize and repair. Now that I’ve finally had this realization about confrontation, and knowing it’s truly unavoidable in my quest to increase my self worth, I welcome it. I look forward to my next opportunity to do it. With practice, I get better and better at confronting calmly from an observer perspective, instead of feeling victimized by perpetrators or frozen by shame about my own mistakes.
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2 years ago
41 minutes 16 seconds

The Middle Kath
7: Healing from extremes: Scapegoating
There’s a truism that is sometimes used to let people off the hook: hurt people hurt people. Of course it’s not okay to abuse someone the way you were abused yourself. But with no healing work, how is the cycle supposed to stop? All we know for sure is: abusers are traumatized too, and need help just like the rest of us who are traumatized. As Gabor Mate says, “trauma isn’t what happens to you, it’s what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.” Something happened that resulted in their compulsive pursuit of women to bully and dominate without their consent. Sexual harassers are made, not born. The perpetrators were victims, and victims often become the perpetrators. Scapegoating is a short term solution to a much bigger long term problem: narcissism in society and narcissism in ourselves as individuals. Scapegoats serve the purpose of drawing attention away from the real problem: us. In a dysfunctional family, the scapegoat draws attention away from the elephant in the room, such as an abusive parent. A narcissistic parent puts everything they dislike about themselves, their shortcomings and shame, on the scapegoat. And more often than not, the rest of the family either enables or supplies that parent, whether they’re aware of it or not. Narcissistic abusers need a scapegoat to blame, because nothing can ever be their fault. The scapegoat is in us, and we are in them. We have a lot more in common than we’d like to admit, as profoundly uncomfortable as that is to face. Scapegoats are made, not born. They are the symptom, not the root problem, and scapegoating villains makes all of us sicker, more vulnerable, more divided, and in the extreme of all-or-nothing thinking. Instead of destroying or trying to fix them, let’s first try healing the elephant in the room: ourselves.
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2 years ago
57 minutes 1 second

The Middle Kath
6: Children’s book: Becoming real with The Velveteen Rabbit
Did you or anyone you know play a childhood role like the Golden Child, the Scapegoat, or the Lost Child? Well, I have learned none of these roles have anything to do with who we really are underneath that trauma. Awakening to the reality of these roles, and healing from them, brings unique challenges for each. I believe the solution to the illusion of the trauma roles lies in seeking the mix of healing modalities that work to reparent oneself and save one’s inner child. When it finally hurts badly enough to do something about it, when life has become unmanageable, the choice becomes to heal or die. Hopefully, we can act before it gets to that extreme. Staying in the dysfunctional family trauma roles, instead of discovering our true selves, keeps us in the illusion that the roles are us. But the roles are not Real. This episode ends with a reading of The Velveteen Rabbit: Or How Toys Become Real, by Margery Williams, in its entirety. I believe revisiting these stories can be helpful in the process of reparenting yourself and nurturing and empowering your inner child. It says the audience is ages 4 to 8, and 2022 marked the 100th anniversary of its publishing. It is healing from extremes and finding the middle path that will lead me to the Real me, in my opinion. How are you finding the Real you?
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2 years ago
39 minutes 56 seconds

The Middle Kath
5: Healing modality: Therapy
I have tried many healing modalities, and therapy is one that has made a massive difference in my life. As Trevor Hall sings in his song, “You Can’t Rush Your Healing,” healing takes time. There’s no silver bullet for trauma recovery. It’s hard to know how the healing modalities I’ve tried interacted with each other along the way in the complex experiment that is my life. I am reporting on them individually, offering my take on how each helped me. Maybe by sharing the specifics of what worked for me, someone who hears this podcast, maybe you, might try something new that really helps. It was my therapist who gave me the concept of “mosaic thinking,” shifting black-and-white, good-and-evil thinking not to some kind of gray confusion but to a clear and vibrant mosaic of multiple truths, multiple realities, many facets. Every person is a mosaic, with distinctly different parts, both “good” and “bad.” No one is all hero or all villain. Healing my all-or-nothing thinking is a big part of healing from extremes. I have my therapist to thank for helping me to see the world, and everyone in it, as far more complex, beautiful, and valuable than I ever knew - myself included.
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2 years ago
39 minutes 33 seconds

The Middle Kath
4: Healing from extremes: Obsessions
Throughout my life, I have found myself easily obsessed with new ideas, music, work, self-absorbed people, and more. One thing that’s important to mention about why I have so much energy to obsess about something or someone comes from, I believe, a total lack of interest in me. I didn’t want to feed me, clothe me or take care of me in any way. By adulthood, I did those things at a minimum level, to pass as normal, masking and joining were what I knew better than my own interests, and better than I knew myself. Obsessiveness was both an escape from myself and a route to safety in some ways. I couldn’t defend myself, so how could I anticipate the next moves of bullies like my mom? By focusing excessively on them. I was a highly sensitive person raised in an invalidating environment, which resulted in deep mistrust of self, the feeling of having to fight to be ok, and deep shame. In my experience, obsessiveness, perfectionism, and low self worth go hand in hand. I certainly tried to protect myself from punishment and shame by getting everything perfect. I was motivated solely by praise for gold stars, so being perfect was just the minimum. I had to be exceptional on top of that to get more praise. There was safety from criticism in perfection, it seemed. But really, there is no safety from criticism with critical people. They will always find something. The real safety is in elevating your self worth to the point that you don’t care what petty, critical people think. But in the absence of self worth, perfectionism is a form of protection. As is obsessing about what the bullies in my life were going to do or say, and how I could get ahead of them.
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2 years ago
46 minutes 38 seconds

The Middle Kath
If you are a person of extremes - emotions, moods, behaviors, addictions, obsessions, all-or-nothing thinking, this podcast is for you. We’re going to get deep into healing from behavior patterns that disconnect us from our true selves. Welcome to The Middle Kath, where we are finding the middle path to a balanced life through self worth, self love, self compassion and forgiveness. I am your host, Kathie. Follow me to be notified of new episodes, and thanks for listening.