Episode Summary

One of the biggest frustrations among singles is NOT being able to get a date, here are EIGHT reasons to consider why you may not be dating…

1. It’s not time!!! 

2. You want to get married more than you want to walk with Jesus!

3.  You are bitter!

4. You struggle with impurity!

5. You are trying too hard!!!

6. You are finding your identity in who you date (or if you can get a date) more than you are in a relationship with Jesus!

7. You are willing to compromise in order to go out with someone! If you are a follower of Jesus Christ then compromise can never be a consideration!!!

8. Especially if you are a dude…you are not responsible financially!!!

Episode Resources

Episode Quotes

One of the worst things you could do as a single person is spend so much time evaluating other people and not actually evaluating yourself. — Perry Noble

A person can be so in love with the idea of getting married so much so that their walk with Jesus will suffer. — Perry Noble

Run hard after Jesus and look to your right and to your left and if the person you want to pursue or that is pursuing you is beside you in that run, then they’re probably the one — Perry Noble

You’ve got to ask God for brokenness rather than bitterness so that the bitterness in your life can be healed. — Perry Noble

Getting married, we’re supposed to be better together, not bitter together. — Perry Noble

Self control is a gift given to us by the Holy Spirit — Perry Noble

You can be sexually involved with someone and not be intimate with them. — Perry Noble

Sex without intimacy leads to destruction every single time. — Perry Noble

There's a difference between pursuing and stalking. — Perry Noble

Girls, if you have to consistently throw yourself at a man, that's not the man you need to be with. — Perry Noble

The person that you find your identity in- anyone other than Jesus- they’re ultimately going to let you down. Not because they’re mean. It's just because they're human. — Perry Noble

If you're a follower of Christ them compromise can never be a consideration. — Perry Noble

There’s no such thing as missionary dating. — Perry Noble

If you feel like you have to compromise before the relationship, after the relationship begins there will be nothing but compromise. — Perry Noble

If you want to find a wife, the best thing you can do today is do whatever it takes to get our of debt. — Perry Noble

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Episode Summary

Perry teaches through these 10 things to consider to see if you are dating the right one:

1. They are not willing to fight for purity.
2. If they are trying to get me to compromise what God’s word says so clearly.
3. If you are always defending him/her to the people who know you, love you and love Jesus.
4. If you find yourself not wanting to talk about him/her in front of the people in your life that you KNOW may disapprove of the relationship for some reason.
5. If you know the relationships isn’t really going anywhere but you don’t want to break up because doing so would cause you to be insecure because you have allowed yourself to be identified by who you are dating rather than who you are in Christ.
6. You find out they are lying to you.
7. If you cannot confront them about issues without them losing their temper.
8. If you discover they are unfaithful to you.
9. If something about them drives you insane but you convince yourself that after you get married, that problem will go away.
10. If the Lord has specifically spoken to you and instructed you to end the relationship because you can’t or you won’t because you don’t want to hurt them or fear that if you end the relationship then you won’t have a chance at another one.

Episode Resources

Episode Quotes

If people aren’t willing to fight for purity before they’re married, there’s a greater chance they won’t fight for it after they’re married. — Perry Noble

Purity is a fight. — Perry Noble

It is totally possible to love Jesus and at the same time have to fight for purity. — Perry Noble

You can fight better in community than you can alone. — Perry Noble

Compromise can never be a consideration if you want a setup for a healthy marriage. — Perry Noble

No one has EVER been fixed by compromise. — Perry Noble

If the relationship isn't going anywhere, a conversation is needed. — Perry Noble

If they lie to you when you're dating, it's a pattern in their life, and they will lie to you when you're married. — Perry Noble

A guy that loses his temper all the time is not someone you'll be able to trust with your heart or with your children. — Perry Noble

A woman that cannot control her emotions is not submitted to the Holy Spirit of God. — Perry Noble

If you find out that they're cheating on you, you do not need to date them. You're better than that. — Perry Noble

Marriage is a magnifier. — Perry Noble

It wasn’t that she was a bad girl or I was a bad guy. We just were not BEST for each other. — Perry Noble

Obedience is never easy, but it’s always right. — Perry Noble

All Content is © 2005 - 2025 All Rights Reserved

Episode Summary In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! In this month's episode, Perry answers the following questions: 1. RC from SC asks: Do you think it's wrong to work for and/or go to places like Hooters? 2. Kira from NC asks: What are the real roles in a relationship for each partner? Do the man and the woman have different roles? 3. Bryn from the United Kingdom writes: Pastor P, after listening to your podcast I decided I wanted to stand up emotionally, and sat down with the girl I've had feelings for to let her know how I felt. We are good friends and while she didn't give me feedback on how she felt I get the sense she feels the same way but finds the idea of relationships intimidating. How do I pursue her in a Godly way that makes her feel cared for without being pressured, while trying to grow emotionally myself? 4. Tori in SC asks: I have been struggling with singleness especially with it being "engagement season." How do you cope with the loneliness? And how do you know if you are being called to singleness? 5. Grace in Washington writes: As a kid growing up in church, I feel like I was taught that the best way to honor God was to avoid dating relationships altogether. Now as a college student, I am beginning a relationship with a godly man, and even though I like him, I sometimes struggle to let him pursue me because for so long I have believed that godliness and romance are opposed to one another (unless you're married.) What practical advice would you have for me as I try to pursue a TRUE biblical view of romance within the context of this new relationship? 6. Christian in SD asks: How do I know which girl to pursue? There are two really awesome godly girls at my church. Girl #1 I have liked for about 5 years - I have asked her out a couple of times, but she has shot me down both times. Girl #2 seems a little flirty with me, but I don't think I could be all in to a relationship with her due to my feelings for girl #1. Do I just not take no for an answer from girl #1 or do I pursue girl #2 and hope my other feelings diminish? 7. Tyler from SC asks: Is it wrong to masterbate if you are married and you think about your wife/husband when you do it? As long as it doesn't interfere with your intimate time together? 8. BONUS FOR TIME Unknown in Ohio: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. During our relationship we have messed up sexually. We've talked about not doing it again but it just keeps happening again and again. I'm tired of feeling guilty… What should I do? The thought of breaking up with him gets me excited because I won't have to feel guilty about sexually sinning but it also worries me because what if I never get to date again? Should I just keep trying to work things out? Episode Resources Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016 and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book! Episode Quotes The guy is the leader, the girl is the challenge. — Perry Noble If the dude is passive, you need to pass on him. — Perry Noble The roles may reverse for a season, but if it’s not a season, then the relationship gets really sick. — Perry Noble If God has put the desire in your heart to get married one day, you’re not called to singleness. — Perry Noble You know you're called to be single when you don’t deal with that loneliness anymore. — Perry Noble The backup girl is never God’s best for you. — Perry Noble Until girl #2 becomes girl #1 you can’t commit to her. — Perry Noble You need to stay with w…

Episode Summary In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! In this month's episode, Perry answers the following questions: 1) Ken in Virginia: I met this girl who I felt that I have great chemistry with but is not a Christian. Is continuing a relationship with her as friends in hope that she becomes a Christian okay? It almost feels selfish. 2) Michael from California writes: I have been dating a great girl for a while now. I have always heard the saying "You just know" when talking about the time to pop the question. Is this true, how will I really know when I am ready or the time is right? 3) Becca from North Carolina asks: What do you do if you are dating someone and you're not sure you should be dating? I'm just not sure how physically attracted I am to him. Does the physical really matter? Will my attraction for his character and love for Jesus transfer over to the physical? 4) Stacey from California asks: What is the difference between being led in a relationship and being controlled? My parents always brought me up to be independent and my partner's parents brought him up to lead which is causing some friction. A close family friend was abused in her marriage, I am always on the lookout for warning signs but I don't know if I'm just being overly sensitive. 5) Denise from SC writes: I can't get over having an abortion when I was 21 and it bothers me to the point I can't have a relationship with anyone. 6) Elizabeth from South Carolina writes: I was in a 3 yr. relationship with my ex and we had a baby. Things didn't work out between us and I sometimes feel betrayed by him for not trying hard enough. Now I feel like I have trust/commitment issues that won't let me move on. How can I help myself let go of anger or resentment and not have it affect healthy relationships in my life? 7) Kate from KS writes: Why does it feel as though God is holding out or being passive when it comes to my heart and desires? I have encouraged and cheered on friend after friend, wedding after wedding and now baby after baby, around me. It’s like God didn't plan someone for me... I know He does things in his own time but I'm discouraged because of what feels like God's passivity... RAPID FIRE QUESTIONS: Q: There’s a guy, he thinks you’re attractive what should he do? Q: What if you are the girl and you get asked and you aren’t feeling it? Q: You have the first date with the guy, you’re uncertain about how you feel about them, should you go on another? Q: What if it’s a second date, and he tries to hold your hand and you aren’t feeling it Q: How soon is too soon when bringing up the DTR? Episode Resources Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016 and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book! Episode Quotes God wants the absolute best for you. Period. — Perry Noble Guys- you can def be her friend, BUT you can’t be her friend with your own agenda. — Perry Noble A girl doesn't want to feel like a project — Perry Noble The only way to know that you're with the one, is you actually marry them. — Perry Noble Once you've married them they become "the one". — Perry Noble If they’re not fun, they’re not the one. — Perry Noble Being the leader doesn't mean you always get your way — Perry Noble Being the leader means you often go last — Perry Noble If someone has to declare they are the leader, they aren't the leader — Perry Noble Guys- if you're trying to lead from posision "I'm the man", you're not the leader — Perry Noble Men lead and women challeng…

Episode Summary In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! In this month's episode, Perry answers the following questions: 1) "I frequently get asked'"when are you gonna start dating?' and even at times get made fun of by some family members for being single. I'm in a point in my life where I know God has called me to serve my church community and be single but at times find myself really upset and frustrated cause of the hassle that being single has brought me. How do I deal with my family when they ask me 'when are you going to start dating someone?'" - Stephen from California 2) "How do you know when it is the right time, to ask the woman that you like to take the relationship to the next level?" - Dorsey from New York 3) "What do you think about large age differences in dating/marriage? I seem to get along best with women much younger than I am. Thanks" - Robert from South Carolina  4) "Recently I was pursued by a great godly guy. After a few months of dating he said that he just wasn't ready to commit, maybe we were better as friends, and he just didn't have that emotional spark with me that he has had in previous relationships. I believe that 'spark' is sometimes lust or shallow infatuation...do you agree? Do you feel butterflies are necessary?" - Anonymous 5) "If you're dating someone who truly loves The Lord and you end up committing sexual sin and then you both repent because of it, should you stay with this person or consider calling it quits?" - Jordan from South Carolina 6) "Is it ok to date a man who is separated from their spouse (for over a year) and in the divorce process? A process that due to attorney complications, may take a long time to finalize...?" - Carol from South Carolina 7) "Any time I pursue a girl I get anxiety that it won’t end well because I have been on the wrong end of a break up and have an anxiety disorder. I have trouble avoiding thinking the worst and I put relationships on pedestals. I’m less stressed and a better person when I’m not pursuing a relationship. How do you trust God when pursuing a women even when anxiety kicks in?" - Michael from Illinois Episode Resources Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016 and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book! Episode Quotes Don't let your emotions run your decisions. — Perry Noble Sometimes it takes a woman longer to feel a connection. — Perry Noble It’s not age, it’s maturity. — Perry Noble If pursuit is the goal then age doesn’t matter. — Perry Noble Older guys know they can manipulate younger woman. — Perry Noble You're not always going to have the butterflies, but there needs to be a general excitement when the person walks in the room. — Perry Noble Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean you are called to be miserable the rest of your life. — Perry Noble If you mess up sexually, it doesn’t mean you need to be end it. It just means you need to set up boundaries and have things in place to adhere to those boundaries. — Perry Noble Don’t say “we’ve messed up” or “we crossed some lines” or “we went too far”. Fully confess it. — Perry Noble There’s a difference between repentance and temporary relief. — Perry Noble When we truly move from seeking temporary relief to repentance, God can heal that relationship. — Perry Noble In the dating stage - if it’s not fun, they aren’t the one. — Perry Noble Find out where your security lies. — Perry Noble If you have to force a relationship, it’s not worth it. Let it happen on it's own. — Pe…

Episode Summary In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! In this month's episode, Perry answers the following questions: "I haven’t found anywhere in the Bible where we are promised a spouse. For years I’ve been told that God has someone just for me and that’s hope I have clung to. But now I realized that God may have a purpose for my singleness. He may not have someone for me. Could that be the case?" - Dana "What about men and women that are called to be single?" Gianna "As a guy and leader striving to keep Christ at the center, what are some good practices or ways ensure that we as a couple and I as the leader am keeping Christ at the center?" - Ryan "I don’t feel like I’m spiritually ready for any dating relationship, but at church, with friends, family or anywhere else I feel like it’s looked down upon and I’m a second class citizen because I’m single. Should I just date someone and figure out any growth and spiritual maturity along the way?" - Parker "What about praying together… I’ve read conflicting things. Is this ok? Or is it opening yourself up to a level of vulnerability that should occur later down the road?" - Stephanie "What about single parents dating? When should I introduce my 5 year old son and how? Part of me wants to protect him by not introducing him and seeing where the relationship goes. But the other part of me doesn’t want to fall for a guy before seeing his interaction with my kid." - Stephanie "I’m a single 23 year old pastor. Whenever I go on a first date I try not to put anymore pressure on it besides getting to know each other. In the last three years every date I’ve been on I leave the date thinking she was nice but I don’t feel a connection. I maintain a friendly relationship… (never go on a date again) but say hi at church. I usually find out the girl is upset with me. I never truly understand why, I didn’t lead her on or try not to. I often feel like giving up dating and women. What is your advice to a young single pastor on dating?" - Rob "I am unmarried and have already had sex with the man I am with now, he is the only guy that I have had sex with. If we plan to get married why should we stop now?" - Katherine Episode Resources Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016 and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book! Episode Quotes There is nothing in scripture that promises a spouse, but it does say God made man and woman to help each other. You can’t do life alone. — Perry Noble If you are called to be single than you probably know it. But if you have a desire in your heart to be married then you have to hold on to that. — Perry Noble Jesus did not have a romantic relationship and he had an abundant life — Perry Noble If you depend on romance in a relationship, one day that relationship will no longer be romantic so you will go to affair to affair to affair or bed to bed to bed. — Perry Noble Men’s facts need our feelings. — Mere Knox To stay pure and keep Christ at the center, always keep both feet on the floor. — Perry Noble Purity does not come naturally, it must be fought for. — Perry Noble Marriage is a gift, so when I begin to think I’m entitled to it, it’s no longer a gift. — Mere Knox If two people are praying together, it’s real hard to sin together. — Perry Noble The motivation of prayer should be to get closer to Jesus, not to manipulate the other person. — Perry Noble God has already given you the discernment you need, now you need to step into what you know. — Perry No…

Episode Summary In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! In this month's episode, Perry answers the following questions: "How do you respond to someone who has a commitment phobia?" - Elissa "Hey Pastor P! As a 21 year old single female in the South, 90% of my friends are married, engaged, or in serious relationships. I just got out of a long term relationship myself. Sometimes I become bored with singleness and end up in situations I know I shouldn't be in...what advice can you give me to stay focused on God when I'm weak or bored? How can I stay positive when I'm the only single one out of all my friends?" - Shannon "Can starting a relationship in a long distance situation work? And what steps can I take to make our relationship stronger when we are apart? For example, we worked together in the summers but the rest of the year visits are a few weeks apart." - Stephen "I'm 35 years old and work in full-time ministry at my church. I love my job, have great friendships and family relationships, and have my life in order. But, I don't know any single men in their 30's, I never get asked out on dates (literally!), and I've always wanted to be a wife and mom. Even though every other area of my life is awesome, should I move to a bigger city to meet more available single Christian men?" - Lindsay "What are some practical tips for single men who want to stop masturbating? The fight against lust is one thing, but what about the fight against our own body and physical urges when those feelings won't go away?" - Jeremy "I've been married before. I know my mistake was not choosing a partner that would be a spiritual leader for me. But now I can't seem to find men who have that potential. Is that something you help someone build during dating or something that should already be there when you begin dating?" - Mandy "I, like many people, have had trouble finding someone to fall in love with. I have had many dates and my problem seems to be that when I get to know them I'm picky. It can be about something so minor that it just draws a red flag in my mind. Do you have any tips for me to try to help me not be so picky?" - Stephen "Pastor P, How do I ask God to take away feelings for someone who I know I shouldn't have feelings for? I have prayed for over a year for God to take this person off of my heart but he hasn't. It's almost starting to consume me to the point where I'm afraid I won't be able to get excited about my future spouse because I'm so focused on one guy? Please help!" - Christina Episode Resources Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016 and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book! Episode Quotes If you are involved with someone that has commitment issues, you need to ask them “why?” — Perry Noble If you’ve given your heart to Jesus and He leads someone into your life, are you trying to protect yourself from something that Jesus is trying to bring that is good to you simply because you are afraid? — Perry Noble Don’t get so bored with singleness that you run out and get in a complicated relationship. — Perry Noble Desperation in dating, always leads to destruction. — Perry Noble Singleness is not a sickness, it’s a season. — Perry Noble Long distance relationships can work, especially when it’s not built on the physical. — Perry Noble You have to understand the intimidation factor when it comes to single Christian guys. — Perry Noble Masturbation is not just a fight against our own body, it’s a fight against lust. — Perr…

Episode Summary In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! In this month's episode, Perry answered the following questions: "When is the appropriate age to start accepting Godly pursuits from guys?" - Karis "Why were Old Testament heroes such as Solomon, David, Abraham and Jacob allowed to have more than one wife?" - Kyle "How important is "chemistry" in dating and looking for a future spouse? For example- if you like and respect a guy a whole lot but just don't have that "spark."" - Alex "Hey Pastor P! I'm very much attracted to and have a lot of admiration for a girl that I do youth ministry with. We are close friends. Every time people are around us, they wonder why we aren't dating. I confronted her once, but she is only interested in friendship #friendzone. I'm an interesting guy and I believe I would make a great husband, but most Christian girls tend to want the "bad boys". My question is, why do Christian guys always seem to finish last?" - Joshua "In a relationship, how can you tell when to keep fighting and when to just let it go and break up?" - Carly "I am learning to put down my ideals of what a godly man looks like. For example: maybe he isn't the up front Christian leader, maybe he also is the silent man who communicates his love for God by doing actions. So I want to ask you: What are the different ways that men show they love God? How can I know when a man's first priority is God (even if it isn't something he would be quick to talk about.)?" - Karla "What about those of us who struggle with homosexuality, but don't want to be single the rest of our lives? How do we cope?" - Christina "I'm a 28 year old female in love with Jesus. I'm a leader at my church and am passionate about growing Gods kingdom. The problem I have is finding my male equal. That guy- passionately in love with Jesus, capable of being my spiritual "head"- seems nonexistent around here. I've never found it attractive for a man to have a previous marriage and/or kids. I feel those are things I want to experience for the first time with my husband. All my life people have told me I'm picky but I just feel I'm searching for Gods best for me. After all, I don't have that baggage. I have a job, a house, I'm an independent woman. I want the same things in my partner. What do you think? Should I ask God to open my heart and mind to something I've never thought I wanted- to be less picky? Or am I right in being so selective?" - Kayla "Is there EVER grounds for divorce aside from abuse and infidelity?" Kim Episode Resources Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016 and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book! Episode Quotes Marriage is not about the sparks, marriage is about continually making the effort to love each other every day. — Perry Noble Girls - don’t pick a guy you need to fix. You are not the Holy Spirit, you can’t fix him. And sometimes God won’t fix him because there’s a compromising girl in the way. — Perry Noble Guys - If she says she just wants to be friends, just be a good friend. — Perry Noble Fighting is natural in a relationship. The problem is believing that marriage will make the fighting stop. — Perry Noble If you’re always fighting, figure out why you’re fighting, and if the majority of your relationship is fighting, you should throw in the towel. — Perry Noble Marriage is a magnifier of who you really are. — Perry Noble If the majority of your relationship is fighting, then it’s not worth it. — Perry Noble Girls - Let the criteri…

Episode Summary In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! Perry answered the following questions in this month's episode: "As we strive to follow God's will for our life, is there one man or woman that is specifically for you? As per God's perfect will for your life? Did he create that husband to be just for me?" - Jenny "So if it's not a sin for husband to lustfully look at his wife, is it sinful for a boyfriend to lustfully look at his girlfriend?" - Grant "If he is a Godly man, and is passively pursuing me should I just give up or give him the benefit of the doubt that he just doesn't know he is being passive? I mean, men can be a little oblivious right!?" - Karlee "What do good physical and emotional boundaries look like in a dating relationship?" - Jaxson "Hey Pastor Perry, I am a single guy in ministry. I hear a lot of people saying to wait on God to bring someone into my life. But I also hear lots of other people say that the only way I'll find the right one is by asking a girl out and getting to know her. Both of which I understand. How do you manage the tension of waiting on God while still trying to get to get to know somebody? And a follow up question to that is, if I am asking someone out, does that mean I'm not waiting on God? Thanks!" - Matt "Pastor P. You speak a lot to staying inside the circle and how to do everything to stay inside the circle and how not to step outside the circle, but what should someone do when the other person has stepped outside the circle and been unfaithful?" - TJ "I dated a girl earlier this year and felt like we connected on multiple levels. I shared with her that I struggle with pornography. A few weeks after that, she ended the relationship stating she couldn't bear to stay with me. I feel like I'm taking the necessary steps to battle and overcome this, but I don't know how to approach that subject with a Christian woman. I want to find someone to be transparent with. What should I do?" - Jared "I was engaged to a non-believer that canceled our wedding 24 hours before. 2 months later he got saved and baptized. We have not dated for a year and now he is trying to come back into my life. Since God makes all things new now that he is saved and lives for Jesus is it ok to try the relationship again? (Pastor P thank you for what you do and your sermons have really changed my life!)" - Amanda "I'm 21 years old, I have begun to feel as though I will never be married. I have never been in a relationship, never been pursued, never even been on a date. I often feel unloved, unwanted, and unworthy. How do I overcome my fears of inadequacy and being alone?" - Hannah Episode Resources Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016 and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book! Episode Quotes The person you marry is ultimately “the one”. — Perry Noble If you cross the line (lusting) in your mind, you will eventually cross that line in reality. Thoughts lead to actions. — Perry Noble If you win the battle for your mind you will ultimately win the battle for one another’s heart. — Perry Noble Girls: it’s okay to sit down and define what being pursued looks like to you. — Perry Noble If a couple will focus on pursuing Jesus, rather than pursuing the “lines”, you’re relationship will be exponentially better. — Perry Noble If you’re pursuing the “lines” then you are limiting the potential of your relationship. — Perry Noble You won’t know if you’re “better together” if y’all are always in bed together. — …

Episode Summary In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! In this month's episode, Perry answered the following questions: "Where did marriage begin? What is a Biblical marriage?" - Beth "I have feelings for a guy in my church and I believe he has feelings for me but how do I pursue the foundation of a friendship before feelings get in the way?" - Brodi "Thoughts on Online Dating? Does God really call us to look online, or is it a sign of desperation or impatience?" - Sara "I've never had a serious relationship before, but I think I found 'the one' for me. We are extremely tempted sexually and have messed up In that area but don't want to tell our parents. Is it okay to marry in private, have sex, and act like our wedding day is the first time without telling anyone? We're afraid of crushing our parents dreams for one another." - Brandon "How much of your beliefs should you be willing to compromise on when marrying another believer?" - Christopher "What do I do if my friend is engaged to a guy who I feel like isn't a good enough follower of Jesus to be with her?" - Ann "I'm dating a wonderful guy who loves Jesus and is pursuing a relationship with both God and with me. But I'm cautious, and I can always see potential problems. I think this would be true of any relationship... So my question is, how can I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this guy is the one God has in mind for me?" - Bethany "When/how much do you say I need to settle? Most of the women my age have already had children(2-3) and have been married. It's not so much the fact about children it's more of the fact about the other guy in that lady's life." - Gary "I was in a relationship with my best friend for seven years; through middle school, high school, and our first year of college. We had come to find what love was together and what it meant to be in love... I thought. The last year of our relationship, he asked me to be more physical because he loved me, but to me, that was the ultimate form of affection and love. I thought we would end up together. So I consented. My heart is now more broken than I could have ever imagined. My question is, if it is love, and you plan on spending your life with that person, is it okay to have sex? Or would it be simply better to wait?" - Lydia "How can you tell if a woman is sending you signals or just being nice? That's one of the most frustrating parts of it. You think she's sending you signals or signs and turns around she's just being nice when you try to pursue her? How can you tell the difference?" - Matt Episode Resources Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016 and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book! Episode Quotes A Christian marriage is 1 man and 1 woman who commit to one another for a lifetime. — Perry Noble Don’t let feelings trump the facts. You need a solid relationship and the foundation should be based on Christ (Matt 7:24-27) — Perry Noble Building on sand = building on feelings — Perry Noble If you build a relationship on feelings there will be a divorce one day. Because if it’s based on feelings, you’ll take the first opportunity to leave when it’s going bad. — Perry Noble Online dating is ok! You just have to be more honest online than you are in person. People tend put the best picture and say the best things about themselves online. — Perry Noble Every couple knows what it’s like to be tempted sexually. You will be tempted, but it becomes a sin when you follow through with that temptation. Even Je…

Episode Summary In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! In this month's episode, Perry answered the following questions: "Hi Perry! I think it's super cool I have the same name as your daughter! As a 17-year-old who has never dated, is it good to have a mental image for what I want in the start of a dating relationship (e.g. being friends for a long time first, only going out if he feels the same calling into ministry, a preference toward a courtship model or traditional dating model) or should I just "let things play out," while seeking godly council from mentors/friends?" - Karis "I've always desired to get married one day but I feel that God is wanting me to pursue His calling for me right now instead of a guy pursuing me in a relationship. What if God's calling will leave me to be single?" - Elissa "What are some questions to ask, ponder and pray about regarding whether or not I am "ready" for marriage?" - Brian "I am 23 years old and have chosen to wait to have sex. I feel like as much as a guy loves Jesus, he's still a guy and still wants what he wants. Guys can be SO forward physically, even ones from church! Do guys really respect girls who make that decision?" - Courtney "I have been in a relationship for almost two years now and something that I have been confused about is the topic of compromising. I hear about how when we are dating that we don't need to compromise but when we are married then compromising and communication are very effective. What is the difference between compromising in dating and compromising in marriage besides the physical aspect?" - Allison "I have never been in a relationship before, and I have had dreams about the same guy for 8 years now, and I don't know if it's a desire, but somehow I think he might be the one God has chosen for me. Pastor P, how can I know if it is really a sign from God? I'm confused..." - Johanna "How important is it to consider the family of my significant other in a dating relationship? My boyfriend is great and loves the Lord wholeheartedly but comes from a family with a history of deep sin, anger, aggression, and pain that has never been dealt with. How can I discern our relationship with this in mind?" - Jessica "I have heard you talk a little bit about being single and I love what you say, but I have a little disability that is noticeable... How can I find a godly woman who will overlook my disability?" - Ryan "As a single woman who wants to be a good gift to a spouse one day, I can recognize that this season has real purpose. I don't want to waste the time that God has intentionally chosen for me to be single, to prepare my heart for marriage one day. What are some practical steps that I can put into place today that will help me to be a blessing, and not a burden to my future husband?" - Danille "My wife is unsure of her love language(s) and she has a hard time understanding how to respond to me when I pursue her due to some wounds from the past. How can I best respond to her when it seems like many of the things I try doesn't stir her heart?" - Josh "My parents are recently divorced after a long, strenuous process lasting over two years. My father cheated on my mother for ten years before my mother found out. It has really shown me the reality that the world is a horrible, broken place. When we finally found out about the affair, it left me with serious trust issues pertaining to guys and dating. I'm afraid that I will never find someone to marry because of my lack of ability to trust any man and that this part of me will drive away anyone interested in me and willing to pursue me. How can I push past this distrust of guys to find a good, godly man to marry when I have seen al…

Episode Summary In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! In this episode Perry answered the following questions: "As dumb as it sounds.... How do you date someone and not have sex? Its not normal for me. What if you are not sexually compatible with each other and you don't find out till it's too late?" - Dustin "Pastor P, I've been addicted to pornography for years, but I've recently decided to break this addiction and pursue purity through Jesus. How can I begin to pursue a women in a Godly way with the remnants of my porn addiction still haunting me?" - Travis "What are some great dating guidelines for people that serve in full time ministry?" - Nathan "I was in a serious relationship with a guy for 4 years, we broke up 4 years ago but my head and my heart have been with him and only him ever since. We've tried to date again on several occasions and it's always ended the same, he "isn't ready to rush into anything" and I always felt like I was just a comfortable back up choice while he waits for the next best thing. We recently rekindled after a year and a half of not talking and I truly thought this time things would be different because our time apart has brought up back together for a reason. I was sadly mistaken… Every time we do this, I'm broken all over again. This time I just can't seem to recover. Pastor P, I'm not sure why I can't get over him, why I can't mend myself, and why I can't move on with my life. I feel like I've lost touch with myself and with God. How am I supposed to learn to love again when I can't fall out of love with my ex? How do I trust that God has a plan for me when the plan that he instilled in my heart 8 years ago always leaves me broken, hopeless, and empty? How do I begin to heal and accept my defeats? I just want to live life happy, and I can't seem to find my way." - Alex "Can a relationship bred in sin be successful? I committed adultery with the woman I'm still with today. It cost me my marriage and my relationship with my children. A few months ago I found Jesus. Now I'm struggling with is this a hopeless relationship in the eyes of Jesus." - Jason "There are no single men in my church. Am i supposed to wait for a single man to turn up at my church and hope that I find him attractive or should I actively go to other churches?" - Annon "The person I'm currently dating is what I'd classify as a gentlemen. He was raised by godly parents and treats me right morally, but I feel like I'm more spiritually mature than him which is the most important aspect of a relationship. What do I do?" - Erika "I just started dating a guy who is a Christian, but doesn't seem to understand grace. He is against a lot of things and types of people. He grew up in a traditional American church and doesn't seem to be guided by the Holy Spirit. I want so badly for him to experience the love of Christ and to understand the "ragamuffin gospel," but he's against "feel good" churches like NewSpring and Elevation. Pastor, do you think we are too unequally yoked, or could this be a situation where God might work to free him from the bondage he's under by my encouragement? Already, the kindness I've shown him has started to thaw him some, but I know you shouldn't go into a relationship trying to fix anyone. Advice? A question I can't seem to find an answer to: how do you date a Christian who isn't a Christian like you're a Christian? #chapteridea ;)" - Molly "What's up with the whole Ruth and Boaz thing? She didn't pursue him...but what was that? Also, what does it look like practically for a guy to pursue a girl? What is the girl suppose to do? Obviously not play hard to get but how does she respond to his pursuit?" - Lily "What advice wou…

Episode Summary In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! Perry answered the following questions in this podcast: "Why on the earth (usually) guys are so extremely scared of relationships and commitment?" - Heidi "Is it okay to live with my significant other before marriage?" - Jamal "At what point in the relationship do I tell my significant other about my sexual past? What if he chooses to break up with me because of that?" - Shannon "I feel called to be a pastor. What about marrying a divorced mother with children?" - David "How can I be content as a single person when I feel like a lot of my guy friends are getting a girlfriend or are getting engaged?" - John "When you've been a victim of an abusive relationship more than once (ending in divorce or breaking off an engagement) how do you know when it's time to start dating again? And if you start, how do you know the one God has designed for you?" - Ashley "What advice do you have for spouses who are unhappy and feel hopeless in finding happiness in their current marriage...especially when the spouse admits they are non-Christian and has opposing views? Your sermons suggest women/men dropping these relationships, but what about the married people. Especially if they feel they made a mistake by getting married." - Lynne "What does guarding your heart and mind truly mean? I'm not the kind of girl who tries to test the limits with a guy because I know what God's best for me is. However, I've never truly understood what guarding my heart and mind means. If I love the guy, then I know one day I will get to be with him intimately and that's freaking great! Does guarding my heart/mind mean not thinking about that?" - Samantha "How do you find the perfect guy if you already have a child? How can you expect a man to step up and be a father figure if your child's father will not even be a father?" - Haley Episode Resources Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016 and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book! Episode Quotes The only man who fully embraced the responsibility placed upon him was Jesus. — Perry Noble It’s a lot easier for a man to run than to fight. — Perry Noble If you are living with your boyfriend/girlfriend, you are placing yourself in a compromising situation every day of your life. — Perry Noble If you are living with her, why not go ahead and marry her? — Perry Noble Your job as the man is to lead her away from sin not towards it. — Perry Noble When you see that the relationship is going somewhere is about the time you need to tell them about your past. — Perry Noble There is no fear in love. — Perry Noble If God doesn’t hold your past against you, neither should the person you are dating. — Perry Noble I do not believe that divorce disqualifies you from ministry. — Perry Noble You can’t do anything about your past now, but nothing can disqualify you from what God has planned for your future. — Perry Noble Every day is a potential day where you could meet the person that you spend the rest of your life with. God is working on your story behind the scenes. — Perry Noble If you are a victim of an abusive relationship more than once, there’s a good chance that you are finding yourself attracted to that kind of guy, but you don’t have to settle for that. — Perry Noble If you tend to fall for the “bad guy”, maybe you need to take some time off and get a group of godly girlfriends around you to help you see your blind spots. — Perry Noble Jesus is a Healer. — Perry N…

Episode Summary

Do you feel the need to rush toward the altar and impatient every day that you're not married? In this podcast, Perry shares a message from the sermon series "Don't Get Married Until" and talks about how you don't need to get married until…you hear from God and know for sure when you have.

Episode Resources

You can watch the video version of this message right here!

Episode Quotes

Singleness is not a sickness. It is a season in your life where God is trying to teach you something. — Perry Noble

God has an opinion on who we spend the rest of our life with. — Perry Noble

Do not get married until you hear from God. — Perry Noble

Marriage is not going to fix the problems you're having while you're dating. — Perry Noble

Compromise cannot be a consideration when dating. — Perry Noble

When you begin to compromise, God is not in it. — Perry Noble

Pursue conviction over compromise. — Perry Noble

If you focus on your frustration you will overlook your blessings and be more likely to compromise. — Perry Noble

If they're not fun, they're not the one! — Perry Noble

If you are a child of the King, you are promised to be taken care of. WHO He has for you will blow your mind! — Perry Noble

Singles, if it is not clear, do not push forward. You are not in a rush. — Perry Noble

Is the process of your dating immersed in worship or wickedness? — Perry Noble

It is impossible to raise your hands in worship and say you love Jesus and then put you hands on a female in ways you shouldn't. — Perry Noble

Sex outside of marriage will rip you apart and ruin intimacy. — Perry Noble

In the dating process, others should affirm the decisions you're making. It is important to involve people who love Jesus in the dating process. — Perry Noble

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Episode Summary

Are you dating someone who you're just not sure is right for you? In this podcast, Perry gives 10 key indicators that he/she is not right for you.

Episode Resources

Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016, and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book!

Episode Quotes

If the person you're with won’t fight for purity before you are married, then there is a greater chance they won’t fight for purity after you are married. — Perry Noble

The question for purity shouldn't be "how far can I go?" but rather "how close can I get to Jesus? — Perry Noble

Someone trying to pull you away from something that is right is WRONG! — Perry Noble

Don't fear being alone more than following Jesus. — Perry Noble

If you don't want to talk about the person you're dating with others, you shouldn't be dating this person. — Perry Noble

Don't allow yourself to be identified by who you are dating rather than who you are in Christ. — Perry Noble

Lying consistently = a character problem. And marriage won't solve character issues. — Perry Noble

There is no reason for a guy to yell at a girl unless the house is on fire. — Perry Noble

Marriage is a magnifier that brings out what was in us all along. — Perry Noble

Just because someone is great doesn't mean they're the BEST for you. — Perry Noble

God wants you to marry the right person more than you do. — Perry Noble

All Content is © 2005 - 2025 All Rights Reserved

Episode Summary

Everyone can relate to the difficulties of dating. Whether you're currently dating, dating again or raising teenagers who are dating, everyone has questions about what is the best way to go about it. This podcast explains Perry's thought process behind writing his upcoming book, why society is so confused about dating and sex and what those in the dating scene should expect from a healthy relationship.

Episode Resources

Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016, and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book!

Episode Quotes

God WANTS us to have the best sex life, love life and dating life. But He wants us to do it HIS way with no regrets. — Perry Noble

Girls - it is OK to set your standards high. You are worth the pursuit! — Perry Noble

Guys - pursue a girl, don't just drop innocent flirts, pursue her heart. — Perry Noble

Immeasurably more in dating comes when you do it God's way. — Perry Noble

All Content is © 2005 - 2025 All Rights Reserved