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Roadmap to Secure Love
Dr. Kimberly Castelo & Kyle Benson
39 episodes
2 weeks ago
Every couple faces relationship struggles—from missed appointments to moments of miscommunication. But the way we interpret those struggles often determines whether they turn into distance or deeper connection. In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle explore how attachment styles shape our reactions when things go wrong and why secure couples repair quickly while insecure patterns can spiral into conflict. At Healing Moments Counseling, we know that life can be messy and t...
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Relationships
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All content for Roadmap to Secure Love is the property of Dr. Kimberly Castelo & Kyle Benson and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Every couple faces relationship struggles—from missed appointments to moments of miscommunication. But the way we interpret those struggles often determines whether they turn into distance or deeper connection. In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle explore how attachment styles shape our reactions when things go wrong and why secure couples repair quickly while insecure patterns can spiral into conflict. At Healing Moments Counseling, we know that life can be messy and t...
Show more...
Relationships
Society & Culture
Episodes (20/39)
Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 39-Turn Common Mistakes into Connection
Every couple faces relationship struggles—from missed appointments to moments of miscommunication. But the way we interpret those struggles often determines whether they turn into distance or deeper connection. In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle explore how attachment styles shape our reactions when things go wrong and why secure couples repair quickly while insecure patterns can spiral into conflict. At Healing Moments Counseling, we know that life can be messy and t...
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2 weeks ago
17 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 38-Are You Betraying Your Partner Without Knowing It? What You Share Could Break Trust
What do you share about your partner when they’re not around—and do they know you’re sharing it? In this heartfelt episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore a common but often overlooked issue in relationships: unspoken boundaries around privacy and public disclosure. As emotionally focused couples therapists, they offer insight into how even lighthearted jokes or venting to friends can quietly damage trust and create emotional disconnection. The challenge? M...
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1 month ago
15 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 37-Rewriting the Family Script: How to Protect Your Partner Without Betraying Your Parents
What happens when the people who raised you become a source of tension in your marriage? In this heartfelt episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, certified emotionally focused therapists Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore the emotional complexity of in law conflict resolution. Many couples silently struggle with guilt, frustration, or emotional regression when navigating relationships with parents and in-laws. You might feel caught between the loyalty you feel toward your family of origin a...
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1 month ago
16 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 36-Work out the Knots Before You Tie the Knot for Marriage
In today’s episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, we dive deep into the real-life challenges couples face around shared decision making—from everyday choices to major life transitions and even moments of intimacy. Hosts Kim and Kyle explore how traditional power dynamics, cultural and faith backgrounds, and unspoken expectations can leave one or both partners feeling unheard, disconnected, or resentful. You’ll hear why simply “checking the box” or putting one partner’s needs fir...
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3 months ago
16 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 35-Sexual Ethics: A Crucial Conversation Before Marriage
In this insightful episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson unpack the often-overlooked conversations couples need to have in order to build trust, safety, and lasting connection. Many couples assume they are on the same page when it comes to sexual intimacy — but unspoken differences around sexual imagery, emotional affairs, social media boundaries, and private sharing can quietly erode trust. Without clear communication and intentional agreements, even small m...
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4 months ago
15 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 34-They Want a Divorce—You Don’t. Here’s How to Heal
What happens when one partner wants to end the relationship—and the other doesn’t? In this powerful episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore the emotional heartbreak of surviving unwanted separation and how to begin healing when you're not ready to let go. 💔 Challenges We Explore: The shock of being blindsided by a partner’s decision to separateFeeling stuck in grief when the relationship still matters to youNavigating despair when your par...
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4 months ago
11 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 33-Surviving the Aftermath of Divorce
Divorce is often treated with silence, judgment, and shame—even when it follows years of effort, therapy, and personal growth. In this powerful episode of The Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson unpack the emotional realities of healing from divorce, especially when support from friends, family, or faith communities is missing. They explore: Why grief after separation is valid and necessaryHow to set boundaries with unsupportive peopleThe difference between shame an...
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5 months ago
14 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 32-Why Pleasing Your Partner Could Be Hindering Great Sex.
In this episode of The Roadmap to Secure Love, Dr. Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore a topic that resonates deeply with many—people pleasing and the impact on sex. Rooted in anxious attachment, people pleasing can show up in the most intimate parts of our relationships, often leading to obligatory sex, disconnection, and resentment. 🎙️ Kim and Kyle unpack the emotional, relational, and psychological effects of prioritizing your partner’s pleasure while ignoring your own needs. &...
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5 months ago
12 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 31-Healing the Ghost of Past Relationships
In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson dive deep into the emotional layers of relationship healing. If you've ever found yourself guarded, even in a secure and loving relationship, you're not alone. Many of us carry the ghosts of past heartbreak—betrayals, abandonment, and emotional wounds that still shape how we see and respond to love today. We may enter a new, healthy relationship, yet remain stuck in old fear cycles, unintentionally pushing away the ve...
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5 months ago
16 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 30-Embrace the Soft No’s in Sexual Intimacy
Talking about sex can be one of the most vulnerable conversations in a relationship—especially when desire doesn’t align. In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, certified sex therapists Dr. Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson guide you through the often misunderstood moment when a partner says no to sex—and how to embrace the ‘soft no’ to enhance connection. You’ll learn: How to talk about intimacy in a way that is connectingWhat is a ‘soft no’, and how it can help preserve emotion...
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6 months ago
15 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 29-Having Boring Sex? Here's How to Talk About It
Bringing up boredom in your sex life can feel like walking through a minefield. In this episode of The Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle explore how to talk securely about boring sex with your partner—without triggering shame, defensiveness, or disconnection. Many couples experience seasons where intimacy feels mundane or uninspired. But trying to address spicing up sex can lead to misunderstandings or hurt feelings. This episode offers a compassionate, attachment-based approach to navigat...
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6 months ago
17 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 28-4 Steps to Stop Doubting Yourself and Build Secure Self-Trust
In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, Kim and Kyle dive deep into one of the most essential—yet overlooked—tools for emotional well-being: your gut. If you've ever struggled with how to trust yourself, this conversation offers powerful insight into why so many of us ignore our inner signals—and how we can begin to honor them instead. 🔑 Key Takeaways: The science behind "gut feelings" and why they matterThe difference between thoughts, beliefs, and feelingsHow past experiences...
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6 months ago
16 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 27-Fight, Flight, or Love? How to Rewire Your Reactions in Relationships
Do you ever find yourself emotionally overwhelmed in the middle of a conversation, reacting in ways you later regret? This episode of Roadmap to Secure Love dives deep into emotional flooding—what it is, why it happens, and how to navigate it effectively in relationships. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: 💡 Why emotional flooding triggers fight-or-flight in relationships 💡 How to recognize emotional flooding before it takes over 💡 Simple grounding techniques to calm your n...
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6 months ago
19 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 26-The Parenting Hack No One Talks About: How Taking Care of Yourself Creates Secure Kids
Parenting is one of the most challenging yet rewarding journeys—but what happens when your own childhood experiences shape how you show up for your kids? In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle dive into the realities of breaking generational parenting patterns and how self-awareness, emotional regulation, and self-care play a crucial role in raising secure, resilient children. Challenges Discussed: 🔹 Managing toddler tantrums without losing your patience 🔹 Balancing boundarie...
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7 months ago
19 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 25-From Bee Phobia to Relationship Drama: The Hidden Link You Never Knew!
Have you ever had an intense emotional reaction in your relationship and wondered, Where did that come from? In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, we dive deep into relationship triggers and how past experiences—like childhood fears—shape the way we connect with our partners. Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore the primal fears that drive our reactions, how our nervous system responds to emotional threats, and why self-compassion and curiosity are key to breaking unhealthy pat...
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8 months ago
13 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 24-From Reacting to Responding: How to Create Space for Growth in Your Relationship
🚨 Are You Stuck in the Same Relationship Patterns? Here's How to Start Breaking Negative Cycles! 🚨 In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle dive into the hidden forces shaping your reactions in relationships—your first response vs. second response. We often react from our family of origin, repeating the patterns we learned growing up, but what if we could pause, reflect, and choose a new response that strengthens our connection instead of pushing our partner away? 💡 Challenges ...
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8 months ago
20 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 23-From Chaos to Connection: 5 Tips for Parenting and Partnership Success
Parenting can feel like pure chaos—diapers, bottles, sleepless nights, and the endless juggle between work and family life. In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, we tackle the heart of managing parenting chaos and explore how to stay connected as a couple amidst the stress. Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson share practical strategies, including: Seeing the stress as the problem, not your partnerUsing the "Name it, Tame it, Change it" method to navigate challengesCelebrating small wins to ...
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9 months ago
26 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 22- 2024 in review: Developing a secure self by building resilience and welcoming grief.
Through the lens of reflection, this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love dives deep into the challenges and growth of the past year. Kim and Kyle explore how embracing personal change, setting boundaries, and processing grief can lead to healthier, more secure relationships. Kim shares her journey of finding her voice and letting go of toxic dynamics, while Kyle discusses the power of resilience, community support, and self-compassion. This episode is a heartfelt look at how reflecting on strug...
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9 months ago
17 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 21-Dating & Attachment Styles: Navigating New Relationship Energy with Confidence
In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, we dive into the fascinating world of new relationship energy and how our attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—impact the way we experience it. New relationship energy brings excitement and possibilities, but it can also uncover deeper insecurities and attachment patterns that may challenge us along the way. We explore: How secure attachment shows up in dating: Staying grounded, present, and true to oneself without rushin...
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11 months ago
23 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Episode 20-From Walls to Warmth: How Vulnerability Builds True Intimacy in Couples
In today’s episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, we dive deep into the power and challenges of vulnerability in relationships. For many, opening up emotionally can feel risky, especially with cultural messages suggesting that vulnerability, particularly for men, may weaken respect and attraction. But what if the opposite is true? Kim and Kyle explore how vulnerability fosters emotional safety, builds trust, and enhances intimacy in committed partnerships. Through an attachment lens, we discuss: ...
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11 months ago
18 minutes

Roadmap to Secure Love
Every couple faces relationship struggles—from missed appointments to moments of miscommunication. But the way we interpret those struggles often determines whether they turn into distance or deeper connection. In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle explore how attachment styles shape our reactions when things go wrong and why secure couples repair quickly while insecure patterns can spiral into conflict. At Healing Moments Counseling, we know that life can be messy and t...