What does mental wellness really mean, and how do we teach it to kids and teens when the adults around them are stretched thin?
In this episode, Dr. Caroline sits down with licensed clinical social worker MJ Murray Vachon, who brings nearly 40 years of experience working with adolescents, families, and midlife adults.
MJ shares the two mental wellness definitions that guide her work, how Dr. Dan Siegel’s “river of calm” helps us understand chaos and rigidity, and why adults’ emotions are contagious for kids.
You’ll hear stories from classrooms, families, and even Notre Dame athletes that highlight the everyday ways mental health is shaped by modeling, connection, and self-regulation.
Listeners will walk away with practical tools like the FACES model, NESTS for self-care, and playful strategies that keep mental wellness accessible for kids and adults alike. This conversation is a reminder that children can’t be healthier than the adults raising or teaching them—and small steps in our own wellness ripple out to every child we support.
Homework Ideas
Check your own state first
Create a “Glimmer List”
Practice NESTS Self-Care
Model Validation + Boundaries
About MJ
With more than 50,000 hours of clinical sessions, I’ve spent nearly four decades helping people navigate anxiety, stress, and life transitions with practical, science-backed skills. I’m the creator of Inner Challenge, a mental wellness program launched in 1993 and taught for 21 years in junior highs and even with Notre Dame Football, equipping teens and athletes with coping strategies to boost resilience. As host of Creating Midlife Calm, chosen by Maria Shriver as her “Listen of the Week,” I weave stories and evidence-based tools into actionable practices listeners can use right away. My work always comes back to this: real-life coping skills that are simple, doable, and effective.
I started the podcast Creating Midlife Calm because I know the parents of teens are the key to helping them develop the mental wellness that will carry them through adolescence and into adulthood.
Get in touch
Instagram: @vachonmjmurray
Facebook: MJ Murray Vachon LCSW
Website: mjmurrayvachon.com
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Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
Kids don’t just feel emotions—they also create stories about what those emotions mean. In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline focuses on cognitive appraisal and emotional metacognition.
You’ll learn how children interpret events, how automatic “henchmen thoughts” fuel anxiety and meltdowns, and why teaching kids to appraise situations differently can build resilience. From detective games to thought logs to chain breakers, this episode is packed with playful, practical tools to help kids spot unhelpful thinking traps, reframe them, and act in ways that reflect their values.
This conversation will help you guide them beyond “just breathe” into truly flexible, values-based thinking.
Homework Ideas
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Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
Kids don’t always slam doors or shout when emotions overwhelm them. Sometimes the signs are quieter—flat energy, withdrawal, or a heavy sadness that feels impossible to shift.
In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline explores the “low-energy” emotions that often get misunderstood: loneliness, sadness, disappointment, boredom, confusion, embarrassment, regret, guilt, and shame.
You’ll learn how each of these emotions sends a signal about a child’s deeper needs, why rushing to “cheer them up” backfires, and practical ways to respond with presence and connection. These quieter feelings carry just as much meaning as anger or anxiety. The goal isn’t to fix them—it’s to help kids feel safe enough to sit with them, learn from them, and eventually find their way through.
Homework Ideas:
🛠️ Be sure to grab the emotional literacy workbook https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy
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Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline discusses the high-energy, often “unpleasant” emotions that kids struggle with — the stormy ones like anxiety, anger, frustration, and overwhelm.
These emotions aren’t problems to fix or behaviours to shut down. They’re signals, calling for safety, connection, fairness, or skill support.
Listen in to learn how to:
Instead of teaching kids to suppress or escape emotions, this episode shows how to help them tolerate, explore, and grow through them — building self-awareness, confidence, and lasting emotional resilience.
“When we rush to fix a child’s emotion, we send the message that the feeling itself is unsafe. But when we sit with them — quietly, patiently, without solving — we teach that emotions are just part of being human. The goal isn’t to feel better right away. It’s to get better at feeling.”
🛠️ Be sure to grab the emotional literacy workbook https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy
Homework Ideas
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Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline explores the often-overlooked role of pleasant emotions in self-regulation. From the high-energy buzz of excitement and joy to the quiet calm of contentment and gratitude, she unpacks what these feelings signal, the needs behind them, and how adults can guide children to channel them in healthy ways.
Learn how excitement fuels motivation but can tip into dysregulation without support, why pride is a powerful pro-social emotion, and how gratitude and love deepen connection and resilience. Caroline shares practical strategies that help kids strengthen their emotional awareness and regulation skills.
Learn actionable tools to nurture children’s motivation, curiosity, and sense of belonging while reinforcing the “rest stops” of calm and contentment that every child needs.
Homework Ideas
Help kids learn to:
Channel excitement:
Savour Joy:
Reinforce Pride:
Cultivate Curiosity:
Anchor Calm & Contentment:
Encourage Gratitude & Love:
🛠️ Be sure to grab the emotional literacy workbook https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy
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Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
Decoding Emotions: Helping Kids Understand What They Feel—and Why
Emotions aren't problems. They're messages. And when we teach kids how to read them, we give them a powerful tool for self-regulation, resilience, and connection.
In this episode, Dr. Caroline breaks down the difference between emotions and feelings, explore how the body and brain work together during intense emotional moments, and show you how to use tools like emotion mapping, quadrant models, and weather metaphors to build emotional awareness in kids and teens.
You’ll learn:
Plus, she introduces the four emotional quadrants (based on arousal and valence) and how to use this approach to tailor regulation strategies to what kids actually need—whether they’re storming, stuck, or shutting down.
Be sure to get the emotional literacy workbook to get started!
https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy
Homework Ideas:
1. Emotion Mapping
Have the child or teen walk through a recent emotional situation using the 6-part mapping model:
Optional: Have them draw it out as a connected mind map to visualize the emotion cycle. Use arrows to show how one piece influenced another.
2. Use Quadrant Mapping
Introduce the Emotion Quadrants based on:
Ask:
“Where do you think you are in this chart right now?”
Then match strategies to what they need:
3. Weather Mapping Feelings
Ask:
“If your emotions were weather right now, what would they be?”
Then map feelings onto different weather types:
Helps externalize emotions and destigmatize them as natural, necessary, and manageable.
4. Emotional Awareness Reflection Prompts
Write or talk about:
Helps increase emotional granularity, which improves regulation.
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Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
In this powerful conversation, Dr. Caroline speaks with Dr. Shahrzad Jalali—clinical psychologist and trauma specialist—to unpack the idea of silent trauma—those unseen wounds from early childhood or minimized adult experiences that often go unacknowledged, but leave lasting emotional imprints.
Together, they explore:
This episode is essential listening for anyone working with kids, navigating their own healing, or simply wanting to understand what sits beneath the surface.
About Dr. Shahrzad Jalali
Dr. Shahrzad Jalali is a licensed clinical psychologist with a deep passion for trauma resolution, emotional resilience, and relational healing. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in helping individuals and families navigate the complexities of silent trauma—emotional wounds that often go unspoken but shape our behaviors, relationships, and well-being. Her work integrates psychoanalysis, somatic healing, and neuroscience to provide a holistic approach to mental health. She is currently working on her upcoming book, set to launch in 2025, which delves deeper into trauma healing and personal transformation.
Website: https://www.drjalaliandassociates.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shahrzad-jalali-psyd-2b547320/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/alignremedy/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/people/Align-Remedy/61567336701015/
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Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
Emotions don’t just “happen”—they’re built on signals from the body. In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, we explore how affect—the body’s internal state—shapes what kids (and adults) feel, label, and act on. From blood sugar crashes that masquerade as anger, to dehydration that looks like anxiety, you’ll learn how body signals are often misread as emotional problems.
Discover practical strategies to help children and teens decode their body’s “dashboard lights,” build emotional literacy, and prevent misdiagnosis of mood or behavior challenges. Whether you’re a parent, educator, or mental health professional, this episode will help you shift the way you support kids who seem dysregulated for “no reason.”
✅ Daily Body Budget Check-ins
✅ Battery Analogy
✅ Hydration + Snack Routine
✅ Sleep Reset
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Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline zeroes in on emotional literacy as an essential foundation of all self-regulation. From everyday behaviours to big emotional outbursts, the ability to name and understand emotions changes everything.
Learn why kids often shut down, spiral, or explode when they don’t have the right words—and how to build their emotional vocabulary in ways that are playful, specific, and powerful.
You’ll walk away with real-world tools and creative strategies to support kids at every stage.
Learn what you need to help kids feel, name, and regulate emotions—so they can build confidence, connection, and resilience.
Homework Ideas & Resources
Daily Feelings Check-Ins
Using a visual, like a feelings wheel or emojis, ask:
· How do you feel right now?
· How do you know?
Resource: use the feels wheel, emotions list, or emojis in the emotional literacy resource book
Build an Emotion Word Wall
Start with basic categories (mad, sad, happy, scared). Then expand with synonyms and nuance (e.g., “annoyed,” “resentful,” “embarrassed,” “overwhelmed”). Ask kids to:
· Sort words by intensity
· Compare synonyms (What’s the difference between nervous and uneasy?)
· Add new words they discover in books, music, or real life
Emotion Detective Journal
Each day, kids track:
· One emotion they felt
· What may have triggered it
· What they noticed in their body, thoughts, and behaviour
· What helped, what didn’t
This supports emotional tracking and self-awareness over time.
Check out the Emotional Literacy Resource to help you with each of these activities (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionalliteracy)
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Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
Emotions aren’t just “big feelings” — they’re information.
In this episode of Overpowering Emotions Dr. Caroline breaks down the building blocks of affect, emotions, feelings, and moods to show why understanding the differences matters for kids’ self-regulation.
Learn how the brain interprets emotional signals, why emotions guide survival and decision-making, and how pleasant and unpleasant emotions both play a role in resilience. You’ll walk away with a clearer map for helping children (and yourself) move from overwhelmed to informed by emotional experiences.
Homework Ideas
Boosting Pleasant Moods Journal: Each day, have kids write or draw one moment of pleasant emotions. Talk about how it gave them energy for learning or connecting.
Behaviour vs Emotion Reflection: When a child engages in a behaviour, separate it from emotion: “It makes sense your body wanted to slam the door when you were angry. Anger’s job is to protect. Let’s find another way to do that.”
Brain Mapping: Help kids recognize the connections between thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, and show how their brain can be “rewired” to respond differently over time.
before you even think. Your prefrontal cortex can calm it down—but only if you
practice sending it the right messages. We’re going to map how your brain
reacts, and then practice rewiring it.”
Have kids fill them in whenever they experienced strong emotions. Guide with
prompts like: “When did your amygdala set off the alarm this week?”
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Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
Teen years are a time of big feelings, strong peer influence, and still-developing self-control.
In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline explores how peers can be powerful allies in helping kids and teens strengthen self-regulation.
From co-regulation strategies and group skill-building to peer mentoring and conflict resolution practice, discover how friendships and social dynamics can support emotional growth. Find practical ways to harness peer influence in building resilience, impulse control, and healthy relationships.
Homework Ideas:
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Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
Self-regulation isn’t just about teaching kids to “calm down.” It’s about what’s happening around them—the relationships, routines, and environments that shape how they manage emotions and reach goals.
In this episode of #overpoweringemotions Dr. Caroline breaks down the often-overlooked elements that make or break self-regulation development: chaotic households, screen dependency, co-regulation pitfalls, and the surprising role of peers. If you're a parent, teacher, or clinician working with kids or teens, this one’s for you.
We cover:
• Why adult emotional regulation directly affects kids’ behavior
• How co-regulation can backfire if you’re doing too much
• The impact of adversity, screen time, and stress on kids’ brains
• Why school and community settings are vital for real change
• The difference between training toddlers and coaching teens
Homework Ideas:
Adult Self-Regulation Check-In
Reflect on the past 3 days:
• How did you respond to stress?
• Did your kids or students see you calm down?
• When did you yell, rush, or shut down?
→ Write down one pattern you want to shift.
→ Share it with a co-parent or colleague for accountability.
Co-Regulation Inventory
Use this to evaluate how you're supporting kids' emotional development. Be honest—this isn’t about guilt, it’s about growth.
PART 1: Your Emotional Availability
Over the past 3 days…
☐ Did I stay calm when my child/teen was upset?
☐ Did I model pausing and taking a breath?
☐ Did I respond with connection before correction?
☐ Did I name emotions without dismissing or fixing them?
☐ Did I let them feel uncomfortable without jumping to solve it?
Reflection Prompt: When they were overwhelmed, did I show up in a way that made things feel safe—or more stressful?”
PART 2: Your Habits That Might Be Getting in the Way
Check any that apply:
☐ I often talk for my child when they’re upset
☐ I immediately distract or fix when they’re struggling
☐ I raise my voice when things escalate
☐ I jump in too fast instead of coaching them through
☐ I feel emotionally wiped out and lose patience quickly
Try This Reframe: Instead of “How do I get them to calm down?” ask: “How do I help them build the skills to handle this next time?”
PART 3: Skills to Strengthen
Which of these could you practice this week?
☐ Allowing space for emotional expression
☐ Staying regulated in front of dysregulation
☐ Using fewer words when things escalate
☐ Validating their feelings—even if you don’t agree
☐ Practicing stress recovery yourself (sleep, food, rest)
Personal Reflection
* What pattern do I want to shift this week?
* What usually triggers my reactivity?
* What would support *me* in staying grounded?
Coaching Phrase to Use This Week: “You don’t have to fix it right now. I’m here with you while we ride it out.”
Collaboration Conversations
Use the following tips and example scripts to create structure and routines without power struggles.
Key goals:
✅ Reduce resistance
✅ Build autonomy
✅ Strengthen connection
✅ Support emotional regulation
BEFORE YOU START: 3 Ground Rules
1. Stay calm and neutral
2. Assume good intentions
3. Make it feel like a team effort—not a lecture
For Younger Children (Ages 5–10)
Example Goal: Create a bedtime or morning routine
Script Starter:
“Hey buddy, mornings have felt kinda rushed lately. Can we come up with a plan together so it feels smoother for both of us?”
Prompt Questions:
* “What do you like doing first when you wake up?”
* “What part is hardest for you?”
* “Would it help to have a checklist or pictures?”
* “Should we race the timer tomorrow and see if we can beat it?”
Collaborative Statement:
“Let’s pick 3 things you’ll do in order. I’ll help you remember until it’s a habit.”
Tip: Let them draw or decorate their routine chart. Ownership = buy-in.
For Tweens and Teens (Ages 11+)
Example Goal: Homework + Screen Balance
Script Starter:
“You’re getting older, and I want you to have more say in how your time goes. Can we figure out a plan together so screens and homework don’t fight each other?”
Prompt Questions:
* “When do you feel most focused?”
* “Would you rather work in one block or take breaks?”
* “What’s something I should stop doing that makes it harder?”
* “What’s a fair plan for screen time after work is done?”
Collaborative Statement:
“Let’s test this plan for a few days and tweak it if it’s not working. I want this to feel fair, not forced.”
Boundaries Script: When They Resist
Use this when things start to spiral: “I’m not here to control you. I want to figure this out together. I’m going to take a pause and we can try again when we’re both ready to work as a team.”
Bonus Prompts for Any Age
“What’s one thing that would make \[school mornings / bedtime / dinner time] better?”
“What do you want to have control over here?”
Let’s pick one small thing to try this week. You pick it.”
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Follow Dr. Caroline
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko
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Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
This episode of #OverpoweringEmotions breaks down the most effective strategies to help kids and teens manage their impulses, emotions, and behaviours beyond the usual “just breathe” advice.
Dr. Caroline covers a broad range of effective interventions from mindfulness and CBT to distress exposures, DBT skills, emotional literacy, family supports, and system-wide approaches. Learn more about the importance of building habits and brain skills for lifelong self-regulation.
Homework Ideas:
Audit Your Child’s Environment
Check for unnecessary stressors that are making regulation harder: noise, screen overload, lack of sleep, poor transitions.
Create a checklist of daily rhythm points (wake-up, meals, after-school, bedtime) to spot hidden pressure points.
Daily 3-2-1 Ritual
• 3 things that made me feel good today
• 2 people I felt connected to
• 1 thing I want to try this week
Emotion Literacy Jar
Fill a jar with feeling words and scenarios (e.g., “Someone cuts in line,” “You’re left out”). Pull one a day and practice labeling feelings + planning a regulation strategy.
Practice “Opposite Action” Together
Create a family challenge where each person picks one “opposite action” moment a day (e.g., stay when you want to leave, speak kindly when annoyed). Reflect together at dinner.
If needed, use these prompts to help kids practice doing the opposite of what their emotion urges them to do.
• You feel like yelling → Try whispering instead
• You want to leave the room → Try staying for 1 more minute
• You feel like slamming the door → Try closing it gently
• You want to ignore someone → Try making eye contact and saying hi
• You feel like quitting → Try doing 2 more minutes of effort
• You want to scroll → Try putting your phone in another room
• You feel embarrassed → Try smiling or staying in the moment
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Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resources
Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
Is boredom a problem—or a powerful emotional signal?
In this episode of #Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline challenges the modern urge to “fix” boredom and shares why it’s actually essential for emotion regulation, creativity, and executive function.
Learn how boredom acts as a reset for the brain, encourages self-reflection, and builds resilience in kids and adults alike.
Discover why sitting in stillness matters more than ever—and how doing nothing may be exactly what growing minds need.
Homework Ideas
Resource:
Follow Dr. Caroline
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Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resources
Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
In this episode of #Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline breaks down self-regulation into its three essential parts—cognitive, emotional, and behavioural—and explains why emotional overload can derail even the best intentions.
Learn how executive functions like attention, working memory, and impulse control interact with emotions and behaviors, why common strategies fall short, and what actually helps kids (and adults) build lasting regulation skills.
This episode sets the stage for real, effective support, especially for emotional intensity.
Homework Ideas
Delay Gratification Challenge
Set up small daily challenges that build delay tolerance—e.g., “Wait 10 minutes before dessert,” or “Finish one task before checking your phone.” Model it yourself too.
Track Hot vs. Cold Brain States
Observe kids across the day and label whether they’re in a “hot” (emotional, reactive) or “cold” (calm, thinking) brain state. Identify physical or emotional clues that suggest which brain is active. Review patterns together at the end of the week to identify triggers or strengths. Use this to plan to proactively target, teach, and/or reinforce regulation skills. Have kids help too - building awareness of their internal states is the first step toward better self-regulation.
Ideas of what to track:
Date
Time of Day/Activity
Brain State (Hot or Cold?)
Clues I Noticed (e.g., heart racing, calm body, fast talking)
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
What’s really behind your child’s procrastination, meltdowns, or avoidance? It might not be defiance—it could be a gap in self-regulation skills.
In this episode of #overpoweringemotions Dr. Caroline breaks down how to support kids and teens in building the tools they need to follow through on goals—whether it’s brushing teeth or studying for a test. She emphasizes the need for a framework to develop goal-directed behavior and executive skills.
You’ll learn strategies in developing self-regulation, including making expectations clear and concrete, using backward planning, and coach kids with self-talk strategies that actually work.
She also discusses the importance of proactive planning, reflection, and promoting supported autonomy to help children develop independence and self-regulation
Perfect for anyone looking to foster independence, build resilience, and stop the constant nagging cycle.
📌 Homework Ideas:
Goal: Build kids’ self-regulation framework with visual and practical tools.
· I can pack my bag by 8:00
· I can double check my work before handing it in
· I can take three breaths when I feel overwhelmed
What will I do if…
· I forget a step?
· My brother annoys me?
· I feel frustrated halfway through?
Practice role-playing a few scenarios to prepare for tricky moments.
Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh
Follow Dr. Caroline
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko
IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/
LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/
X: https://x.com/drcarolinebuz
Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/
Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resources
Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
Today Dr. Caroline breaks down the difference between self-regulation and self-control—and why confusing the two leads to ineffective strategies.
She explores how self-control is tied to social connection, modeling, and co-regulation. Learn what actually helps kids build emotional regulation that lasts.
A must-listen for anyone wanting to support kids through stress, frustration, and big feelings.
Homework Ideas
Narrate Your Own Regulation:
Start talking out loud when you're managing frustration or stress. (“I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to pause and take a few deep breaths.”)
Spot and Praise the Pause:
Catch kids using restraint (no matter how small) and acknowledge it. (“I noticed you stopped before yelling—great job catching yourself!”)
Build Predictable Routines:
Identify one part of the day that often brings stress. Create a simple visual schedule or routine to reduce unpredictability and set kids up for success.
Model Emotional Vocabulary:
Teach kids words for their emotions. Practice using phrases like “frustrated Fred showed up again—what do we want to do with him?”
Create a Co-Regulation Plan:
Work with kids to come up with ways you can support them during tricky moments. What helps them feel safe enough to pause?
Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh
Follow Dr. Caroline
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko
IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/
LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/
X: https://x.com/drcarolinebuz
Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/
Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resources
Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
Kids aren’t defiant, lazy, or unmotivated—they’re often stuck without the tools to follow through.
In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline digs into what self-regulation actually means, how it connects to goal-directed behaviour, and what adults can do to guide kids without falling into the nagging trap.
Dr. Caroline breaks down the executive function skills kids need to stay focused, manage frustration, and follow through—whether it’s brushing teeth or finishing homework. You’ll learn how to make expectations visible, teach kids to plan backwards, and create visual guides, flowcharts, and self-talk strategies that stick.
This just may be the reset you didn’t know you needed.
Homework Ideas
Create a Visual Goal Planner
Pick one goal (e.g., be ready for school by 8:15 AM). Work together to break it down into small, concrete steps. Use backward planning to identify each task. Start from the last step and work backward to the first then create a visual flowchart or checklist with images or icons.
✅ Optional: If you want to help build time management as well, have them predict how long each step will take and write how long it actually takes.
Tip: Take photos of each step and use them to create a visual guide.
Step What needs to happen? Predicted time Actual time
Develop Self-Coaching Scripts
Help kids create their own inner coach with motivational phrases to stay focused and keep going. Brainstorm 3–5 short self-coaching phrases when things get hard. Frame them as “I can…” or “When I feel ___, I can ___.” You can use the prompts below to help them come up with their own helpful phrases.
I can...
Example: I can do one small thing right now.
When I feel frustrated, I can...
Example: Ask for help.
When I feel like giving up, I can remind myself...
Example: I’ve done hard things before.
Create your own:
1. __________________________________________
2. __________________________________________
3. __________________________________________
4. __________________________________________
5. __________________________________________
Post these scripts somewhere visible—on a binder, wall, or mirror—for easy reminders
Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh
Follow Dr. Caroline
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko
IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/
LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/
X: https://x.com/drcarolinebuz
Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/
Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resources
Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
Music hits different when it speaks to your soul—and it can do the same for kids. In this episode, Dr. Caroline explores how music affects the brain and the role it can have in helping kids manage emotions. When using music intentionally, not as a distraction but as a tool, the right playlist can help kids process emotions, shift moods, and respond to situations proactively.
Hear more about helping kids build their own music toolbox to boost emotional balance, increase self-awareness, and manage everyday stress. From pump-up jams before a hockey game to sad songs that offer comfort after a rough day, music meets us where we are—and can help guide us forward.
Homework Ideas
Music Toolbox
Help kids create a personalized Music Toolbox with (at least) three intentional playlists:
Ask:
Model
Talk about how YOU use music for motivation, calm, and processing emotions. Create and use your own playlists too! Model intentional use of music for emotional regulation.
Experiment
Over the next week, help kids experiment with different genres and tempos of music. Try at least three types of music they don’t normally listen to. After listening to each type for a few minutes, have them jot down their responses:
Create a Music Reset Plan
Help kids use music proactively for emotional balance and stress regulation. Have them pick a moment during their day when they might feel stressed or scattered and listen to a (helpful) personal playlist to promote balance. Choose 3–5 songs that calm, motivate, or ground. Use it regularly throughout the day every day.
For the first week, it is helpful to answer these reflection questions after each use:
Invite kids to create different versions: a “wake-up reset,” a “pre-test calm,” or a “post-conflict cool-down” playlist.
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/
We know movement is good for mood. But what if it’s also the missing link to helping kids (and adults) become better problem solvers?
In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline explains how physical movement helps regulate emotions, unlock creativity, and activate the brain’s problem-solving systems. Learn why talking while walking is more effective than sitting face-to-face, how to avoid getting stuck in emotional venting loops, and what kind of movement actually shifts kids from spiraling into clarity.
This is more than a brain break—this is a strategy that works.
Learn practical ideas to help kids problem-solve when emotions run high.
Homework Ideas
✅ Try the “Load-and-Move” Strategy: Go for a walk. Before the walk, ask your child to think of one question they’re stuck on (e.g., What should I do about my friend ignoring me?).
· During the walk or rhythmic activity: Don’t push for answers. Let the thoughts flow and the body move.
· After the walk: Ask what popped up during the activity. Was anything clearer?
✅ Incorporate Brain-Body Breaks
· Set timers for 15–20 minutes during homework or classwork to stand, stretch, or walk.
· Use silly dances, skipping, or “shake it off” routines to release tension.
✅ Shift from Face-to-Face to Side-by-Side
· Use walking conversations instead of sit-down problem-solving talks. It eases pressure and opens dialogue.
Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/