Purpose, time, luck, persistence
When you feel like you have nothing left what is the reason why you keep going?
that will provide some insight as to your purpose and meaning in life.
Time is the most precious commodity that we have. Don’t waste it.
which got me thinking about the information and people we surround ourselves with.
I think it was warren buffet who said show me your friends and ill show you your wealth. Something along those lines.
What you expose yourself to, TV, Radio, social media, YouTube etc becomes familiar and subconsciously lifestyle. The reason I mention this is when I went on to YouTube to “watch something different” all that was on there were things Ive already seen or VERY similar.
So to move it on.
While I was thinking about time and purpose, why do people do what they do and more importantly why do I do what I do.
what does success look like to me. I don’t really know.
But
I was thinking about how come some people are lucky. Or offers seem to land in their lap all the time.
One such, repeated video on socials, from Simon Squibb. Where he spoke to two ladies about starting there own business. Nothing out of the ordinary.
however.
He went on to say something so profound that its impossible not to share.
These ladies started respective businesses during lockdown, they had some spare time, made some extra money, now no longer trade.
Simon said to them that the reason they stopped was because the business didn’t have deep enough meaning to them.
It wasn’t important enough to them for them to cary on, it lacked purpose.
He goes on to say
that when we have a deep enough purpose it creates persistence.
Thus in order to be lucky with have persistant with what we do.
It brought me a complete 360 degrees. Why am I seeing the same things on YouTube all the time, the same people, the same conversations.
Because it is who I surround myself with and is my purpose. So to feed the ever changing algorithms of social media, persistence is key.
Be lucky.
Be persistent
Be purposeful.
Lamin Deen is a British bobsleigh pilot and Grenadier Guardsman, serving in Northern Ireland, Bosnia and Kosovo.
He represented the British Army in athletics, boxing and basketball before competing in bobsleigh.
He qualified for the 2014 Winter Olympics in both the 2-man (in which he raced with John Baines) and 4-man disciplines.
Deen scored a new personal best finish in the Bobsleigh World Cup in January 2014 when he (along with Stuart Benson, Bruce Tasker and Joel Fearon)finished in 11th place in the four-man event at a meeting held at the Igls track.
Deen finished 19th in the four man event at the 2014 Winter Olympics and 23rd in the two man competition.
Deen enjoyed a strong start to the 2014-15 season, scoring a third and a first place in the opening two four man races of the Americas Cup at the Park City track and winning another race at the following meeting at the Calgary track.
Live to inspire book avalible https://amzn.eu/d/cjPvcqP
Instagram @the_example247
Defined as:
the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
Empathy is a broad concept that refers to the cognitive and emotional reactions of an individual to the observed experiences of another. Having empathy increases the likelihood of helping others and showing compassion.
What causes lack of empathy?
Low emotional intelligence, burnout, and stress
Being under prolonged stress may also lead someone to be less tolerant of other people's behavior and have lower cognitive empathy. In some cases, emotional avoidance may also be a reason why someone may not develop or practice empathy.
Signs of Empathy
You are good at really listening to what others have to say. People often tell you about their problems. You are good at picking up on how other people are feeling. You often think about how other people feel.
What are the 4 A's of empathy?
Affirm – You are on the right track, your suggestion is helpful.
Acknowledge – I can see you feel frustrated with the poor implementation. Appreciate – Your ability to persuade the buying committee has moved us forward.
Assure – Don't worry, I can solve this.
With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.
Research indicates that self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience we have available to us, radically improving our mental and physical wellbeing.
It motivates us to make changes and reach our goals not because we’re inadequate, but because we care and want to be happy.
Instead of mercilessly judging and criticising yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?
We keep trying. And trying. Until we succeed.
We have no expectations as to what success is.
So why when we are adults are we so hard on ourselves when we don’t meet our OWN expectations?
Be compassionate to yourself.
If someone you knew was struggling would you be hard on them or offer support? Human empathy dictates that we support each other.
Why not apply the same to yourself?
Self talk.
Negative self talk can be very destructive.
Change the perspective and context to find the positive. More a growth mind set.
It will empower you and then perpetuate into more positive energy.
You will then be more compassionate with yourself.
Self-awareness is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don't align with your internal standards.
If you're highly self-aware, you can objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your behaviour with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you.
Self-awareness allows us to see things from the perspective of others, practice self-control, work creatively and productively, and experience pride in ourselves and our work as well as general self-esteem
When we are more self-aware we are better at understanding ourselves. We are then able to identify changes we want to make and recognise our strengths so we can build on them. Self-awareness is often a first step to goal setting. This includes admitting when you don't have the answer and owning up to mistakes.
Being more self-aware means that you'll grow your emotional intelligence and be better able to relate to others in various types of situations. This is because your self-awareness extends beyond yourself and makes you more aware of what others may be going through.
Fighting for freedom
Why do you do what you do
Why don’t you just stay at home
Why do you keeping going to training and competitions
Even when you get injured you go back for more
We choose the difficult path because to be anything less than our best would be a disjustice to our life. We seek to find out what we can achieve. Making the world a better place and raising our standards every time we go out the door.
When you cannot accept help and support without self judgement
When you offer others help you are always doing so with judgement.
Attached judgement with asking for help
This episode is the prerequisite to the podcast I intend to create.
Starting a new venture in 2022, as a follow up to my best selling book “Live to inspire”. https://amzn.to/3qKyGs8 The podcast will, hopefully, be available on Spotify etc as time goes on. My aim is to help others to be the best they can be. Dealing with mental health and daily struggles that can be supported and overcome. I aim to have guest speakers and distribute knowledge through my own personal experiences.
This is the first episode of the Live To Inspire podcast. Developed the idea from my best selling book “Live to inspire”. https://amzn.to/3qKyGs8
An introduction to who I am, my experiences and qualification.
The journey is just beginning and we will see where it goes.
Thank you for listening to my content and subscribing to the channel.
Any questions or suggestions do let me know.
Best wishes.
Dave
What is happiness?
How do we find it?
Physiological understanding of happy hormones as well as explanations as to how we can improve the amounts of them.
Can happiness be calculated?
A catch up with Matt Weston, newley selected as part of Team GB for the Beijing 2022 Winter Olympics for the Skeleton.
Matt talks all things skeleton as well as providing outstanding knowledge and mindset advice for those in sport and outside of sport.
Always learning.
Do leave any questions for Matt as Ill be catching up with him on his return from the Olympics.
Best selling book "Live to inspire" as written by yours truly available at amazon.
https://amzn.to/3ebfvzv
Check out the website
http://www.davidcolemangb.co.uk
Thoughts and discussion around what acceptance is and how it can change our outlook on life.
can it have an impact on our well being and mental health?
Is it a copy strategy?
I share some views of others as well as definitions and personal examples with the lessons I learnt from it then applying the new understanding to move forward.
Understanding disappointment
Disappointment is the negative emotion you feel when an outcome doesn’t match up to your expectations. Characterised by feelings of sadness, loss, anger and frustration, disappointment is an unavoidable part of life – but it’s not always easy to deal with, even if your setback is relatively minor.
You may experience disappointment when something positive you expected to happen – a new job, a new relationship, a holiday – doesn’t eventuate. Disappointments can be minor frustrations or life-changing events.
It’s normal to struggle with and feel overwhelmed by disappointment. But it is possible to work through your feelings and maintain a positive mind frame. Here’s how.
Give yourself time to reflect
Allow yourself time to make sense of what went wrong, grieve your loss and think about why the disappointment happened.
Was the outcome predictable, a shock or outside of your control? When you understand the reason why the disappointment happened, you’ll be better equipped to manage your feelings and rationalise the event.
Adjust your expectations
You feel disappointed because things didn’t turn out as you expected. But if you adjust that expectation, you may be able to feel less disappointed and move on.
Adjusting your expectations can be a useful tool in getting over feelings of disappointment. But it’s also important to constructively deal with the disappointment, rather than pretend it didn’t happen altogether.
Don’t let your disappointment linger
While it’s okay to take some time to grieve your disappointment, try not to focus on your negative emotions for a long time. Spending too much time and energy on your disappointment will have a detrimental impact on your mood and mental health.
You can also view the disappointment as something you can learn from. You can consider whether there is something you could do differently next time.
You may need to make an effort to focus on positivity strategies so you can let go. Some examples include positive self-talk, journaling, daily affirmations and surrounding yourself with positive people.
Look after your physical health
Whenever you experience a stressful event, including a big disappointment, it’s important to look after your physical health as well as your mental wellbeing.
Taking the time to eat a healthy diet, exercise and get enough sleep will help to reduce feelings of stress. A poor diet combined with a lack of sleep can make you feel worse – which can make it harder to cope with negative emotions.
Where to get help
Disappointment is a normal part of life, but if you’re struggling to overcome your feelings and move on, perhaps it’s time to speak to a healthcare professional.
Preconceptions and prejudice
Who you are vs what you have done.
Do you really know people or have you made your own opinions based on what you see or have been told? Or what they choose to share.
We have all made mistakes?
Plant a tree, 20 years ago.
What’s hard for you isn’t always bad for you
Do not punish behaviour you wish to see repeated
Regret is the emotion of wishing one had made a different decision in the past, because the consequences of the decision were unfavorable. a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over an occurrence or something that one has done or failed to do.
I wish I hadn't worked so hard
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Missed opportunities
Things we did wrong
Things we did that impacted others, normally the ones that are closest to us
Our actions or behaviours. Hard to manage in the heat of the moment.
Should you have regrets in life?
It is perfectly okay to have regrets. The first part of this reasoning is quite simply that it's unhealthy to oppress thoughts. You will drive yourself insane telling yourself you shouldn't be thinking in this way or that. In fact, the more you try to put thoughts in a box, the harder they'll fight to get out.
Think about this….
Anything done in anger can not be undone
Trade expectations for appreciations and your life can change in a moment
What are expectations
What can we expect of others?
Should we?
Can we…
Expectation is the their of happiness
What if….
We Have zero expectations? Wouldn’t the outcome always be happiness and no disappointment?
What is it?
Luck is the phenomenon and belief that defines the experience of improbable events, especially improbably positive or negative ones.
So, in a sense, it absolutely does exist.” And it has “existed” for ages. “Pretty much, in every culture throughout recorded history, people talk about superstitious rituals or chance — as indeed we do now, even with our amount of science and technology
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
Luck is what you have left after you have given 100%
Luck is the last dying wish of those who believe winning can happen by accident.
People have said I am lucky.
Unlucky or bad luck - misfortune?
Fortune favours the brave….
Don’t get caught up with loss, less or never
Gratitude for appreciation love and Enjoyment are the antitdote for suffering
Talking through the recent world record attempt as well as fund raising for mental health charities.
personal learning and growth as a result of the challenge
Content
Thought about where I am and others
However
Comparison is the thief of joy
Do we confuse being content with being happy?
Can being content just be accepting things for how they are because it is “too difficult” to change.
Thought we think that being happy is what society tells us; home, partner, children. So we accept that.
Are people who are content unhappy?
If you don’t know any different from you current situation how could you know what other emotions or experiences you might feel from events?
We all have our own ideaologies as to what happiness is and also being content.
Dreams are something you create in your mind that can take any shape or form, while goals are based on taking action.
Top Tips
1. Visualize
It helps for you to see what it is you are dreaming of and want to make a reality. Take a few minutes each day to close your eyes and visualize your dream playing out moment by moment.
Walk your mind through every aspect and moment of the experience. Practice seeing yourself as already having accomplished your dream.
2. Nurture Your Dreams
Let your dreams grow! Dreams are incredibly important for your well being and need to be nurtured in order to grow, develop, and come true. Blowing off your dreams for being too silly or too big is a surefire way to make sure they never come to fruition. If your dream is to travel the world, buy yourself a travel guide, make a Pinterest board of the places you want to see, and open a savings account for your big trip. Plan it out as though it’s going to happen.
3. Best Practices for Dreaming
Give yourself the time to dream. You may get so caught up in your day-to-day life that sometimes you don’t have the chance to just sit and dream. Try to schedule a few minutes a day to let your mind wander and dream. Breathe and let yourself relax. Don’t worry if you haven’t done this in a long time, your brain knows exactly what to do. You may find yourself defining your dreams and becoming more clear as you continue to give yourself more and more opportunities to dream.
The negativity bias is a cognitive bias that results in adverse events having a more significant impact on our psychological state than positive events. Negativity bias occurs even when adverse events and positive events are of the same magnitude, meaning we feel negative events more intensely.
My top 5 tips and strategies on how to over come negativity.