Trigger Warning: This episode discusses experiences of physical aggression and animal harm.
Abuse doesn’t always look like anger — sometimes it’s calm, mocking, or disguised as humor. This episode unpacks how emotional and psychological abuse can hide in plain sight and how survivors can begin to take their power back.
October is almost over… but what other awareness lives quietly among the rest?
We see pink ribbons and mental health posts.
We honor Down Syndrome and infant loss.
But there’s another story woven through this month …one that isn’t always seen, but deeply felt.
Domestic Violence Awareness.
This isn’t just for survivors.
It’s for all women and the men who stand beside them. Because nearly half of all women have experienced abuse in some form.
That means we all know someone who’s lived it, hidden it, or is still trying to heal from it.
Awareness isn’t just about statistics. It’s about empathy, courage, and change.
As October fades, I’m holding space for all the causes this month carries: the strength, the stories, the awareness, and the healing behind each one.
Domestic Violence Awareness is just one of them.
But like each ribbon this month, it reminds us how deeply human we all are …how connection, compassion, and courage can change everything.
Let’s keep carrying that light forward.
What Abuse Looks Like (Part 3 of 4)
⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussion of physical and sexual abuse. Please listen only if you feel emotionally safe to do so. Take breaks or skip this one if you need to — your safety matters.
In this episode of I Choose the Bear Podcast, I explore three of the most visible and painful forms of abuse — physical, sexual, and financial.
These forms of control are never about anger or money — they’re about power.
This conversation is a space of truth, validation, and healing — for anyone who has ever felt unsafe in their own body or trapped by someone else’s control.
Resources Mentioned:
• National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
• RAINN (Sexual Assault Hotline) – 1-800-656-4673
• The Allstate Foundation Moving Ahead Program
• National Network to End Domestic Violence
Your body belongs to you. Your safety is sacred. Rise like the phoenix. Find strength like the bear.
Healing doesn’t mean you stop crying — it means your tears start to change.
In this episode, I open up about the quiet grief that lingers after leaving a painful relationship — the ache for the love that never was, the longing for true partnership, and the strength it takes to keep rebuilding.
Through raw honesty and faith, I hope to remind all of us that tears aren’t weakness — they’re release. Because even in the heartbreak and loneliness, God is still filling the cracks with grace, hope, and gold.
This episode is for the woman who still cries, but keeps choosing to heal… to hope… and to rise.
In this episode of I Choose the Bear, I sit down with Amy Liptak, a certified counselor in Bloomington, Indiana, to talk about the realities women face during and after abusive relationships. Amy brings years of experience walking alongside women as they untangle from the toll that abuse leaves behind.
Together, we discuss how women fall into these types of relationships, why leaving can feel so difficult, and Amy also shares resources she recommends for women navigating this journey. Her contact information and the resources mentioned in this conversation are included in the show notes for anyone seeking further support.
This is a conversation filled with honesty, wisdom, and hope—reminding you that healing is possible and you are not alone.
*Side note* EMDR was mentioned in the podcast to have been developed in the 90's but it was actually around 1987.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Dr. Ramani
Dr. Kim Sage
Dr. Brené Brown
amyliptak@living-wellcounseling.com
In this deeply personal journal reading, I open up about the emotional rollercoaster I experienced before separation — the gaslighting, the spiritual guilt, the financial fear, and the crushing pressure to “fix” a marriage I didn’t break.
You’ll hear my heavy words — written in the thick of it — as I questioned my future, my faith, and if I was too broken.
I talk about what it felt like to try so hard while constantly being blamed, silenced, and pulled into chaos by someone who refused to believe he was abusive.
If you’ve ever felt like you were the only one trying… this episode is for you.
In Part 2 of our conversation, Dr. Mallory Knipe returns to discuss the psychosomatic symptoms of trauma, how they show up in the body, and practical tools you can begin using today. We also share helpful resources for deepening your understanding of trauma’s lasting impact.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
• What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo
• Traumatic Experience and the Brain by Dave Ziegler, Ph.D.
• Bruce D. Perry
• Brené Brown
Trigger Warning:
In this week’s episode, we talk about trauma and reference a couple different types of traumatic events. Please listen with care and step away if needed.
In this episode of I Choose the Bear, I’m joined by Dr. Mallory Knipe, associate professor in the Master of Social Work program at Saint Mary’s University. With a doctorate in social work from the University of St. Thomas and a master’s from the University of Oklahoma, Dr. Knipe brings both clinical expertise and deep compassion to the conversation.
Together, we explore how trauma affects the body—what happens in your brain, why you freeze in moments of conflict, or why your body seems to “overreact” long after the danger is gone.
Whether you’re a survivor trying to understand yourself or a loved one trying to support someone you care about, this episode brings clarity to the question: “Why am I like this?”
“Why did you stay so long?”
It’s a question survivors hear all the time—and one that carries shame. But the truth is far more complex than most people realize.
In this episode of I Choose the Bear Podcast, we unpack the hidden reasons women stay in abusive relationships.
This conversation reframes the question, shifting the focus from judgment to compassion: not “Why did she stay?” but “What gave her the strength to leave?”
If you’ve ever stayed longer than you thought you would—or wondered why someone else has—this episode will bring clarity, validation, and hope.
In this episode of I Choose the Bear, we explore three invisible but devastating forms of abuse: verbal, spiritual, and neglect. Through personal and stories and made up scenarios, I walk you through what it looks like when someone chips away at your confidence, uses God as a weapon, or simply refuses to care.
If you’ve ever questioned whether your pain counted, or wondered if you were being “too sensitive,” this episode will remind you:
It was real. You are not alone. And your story matters.
Before I left, I wrote — raw, unfiltered entries that I often threw away out of fear he’d find them. In this episode, I’m reading two entries, written when I was still in the marriage but beginning to see the truth.
These are the words of a woman questioning who she is, grieving the life she thought she had, and facing the reality of emotional and mental abuse.
If you’ve ever felt lost in a relationship or unsure of your worth, you may hear your story in mine. You are not alone. There is hope beyond this.
In this first episode of a four-part series, I walk listeners through subtle, often overlooked forms of abuse - specifically psychological abuse, emotional abuse, and coercive control.
Through real-life stories and gentle reflection, I name the quiet, soul-erasing patterns many survivors were taught to normalize.
This episode is for the woman still trying to figure out if it “counts.” And for the friend, mother, or pastor watching someone slowly disappear - and wondering why.
Season 1 Episode 5: But Was It Really Abuse?
I used to say things like, “I don’t know that I was necessarily abused. My marriage was just…hard.” I thought maybe I was being too sensitive. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe it really was my fault.
But then I sat across from a counselor and shared my story, and heard the words I’ll never forget: “You absolutely were abused.”
Have you ever heard of coercive control? It’s the kind of abuse that doesn’t always leave bruises - but it leaves you doubting yourself, walking on eggshells, and slowly disappearing.
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Was it really that bad?” - then this episode is for you.
Episode 4: The Other Side of Fear - Caitlin’s Story
Trigger Warning: SA and Physical Abuse
In this powerful episode, I sit down with my dear friend Caitlin as she bravely shares her story of surviving physical abuse and SA. What she endured behind closed doors was heartbreaking, but the courage it took to break free and start over is nothing short of heroic.
Caitlin’s journey is raw, honest, and deeply moving. It’s a story of fear, silence, survival…and ultimately, strength. She didn’t just make it out - she’s building something beautiful on the other side.
Whether you’re in the midst of something hard or walking with someone who is, this episode is a reminder: you are not alone and there is life after abuse.
Resources for support are listed below.
Please listen with care.
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233
Website:
https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence
Office on Violence Against Women
US Department of Justice
https://www.justice.gov/ovw/domestic-violence
https://www.domesticshelters.org
Ichoosethebearpodcast@outlook.com
Health and What My Body Remembers
Some wounds don’t leave bruises.
Some memories still make your chest tighten.
This week, I talk about the pain I carried alone—
the health scares, the silence,
and the ache of being asked
“What are you doing to cause it?”
If you’ve ever had to be strong when no one stood beside you,
this episode is for you.
You’re not weak.
You’re not to blame.
You’re not alone.
Episode 2: The Chaos, The Grief, The Courage It Takes to Leave
At first, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t overreacting.
I started reading, reaching out, quietly asking myself, Is this abuse?
In this episode, I take you into the part of my story that’s hardest to tell—the part where everything looks like it’s falling apart, but something stronger is quietly rising inside of me.
You’ll hear about the moment I told him I wanted to separate, the twisted ways he tried to reclaim control, and how even as I started to breathe again, the manipulation didn’t stop.
You’ll hear about the letter I wrote.
The chaos of separation.
The unbearable grief of walking away from a life I built—and the courage to do it anyway.
Because I wasn’t just leaving a marriage.
I was choosing to break a cycle.
For my kids. For myself.
Even when it felt like it might kill me.
This is a story of choosing truth when lies are louder.
Of choosing peace when the world calls you dramatic.
Of choosing to survive—even if it means starting over in ashes.
🎧 Listen now. You’re not alone.
What if the person you loved the most was also the one who made you feel the smallest?
In this first episode, I share about the day that cracked open the truth about my marriage and the book that helped me finally name what I was living through: abuse
If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it really that bad?” Or told yourself, “But he’s not always like this…” then this episode is for you.
You are not alone. And this may just be the day you start to see it too.
Listen now, share with someone who needs it, and remember:
You are not crazy. You are not weak. You are waking up. And that’s the bravest thing you can do.
I Choose the Bear Podcast is about facing it. It’s about rising from betrayal, reclaiming our worth, and becoming the strongest version of ourselves - whether anyone else chooses us or not.
I chose the bear…because I’ve walked through fire and still came out standing.
Because I’m done shrinking.
Because I am strong.
I am worthy.
And I still believe in love that sees me, values me, and chooses me fully.
If you’re healing from abuse, heartbreak, or anything that made you forget your power - this space is for you.
You don’t have to stay silent.
You don’t have to stay small.
You get to rise.
Welcome to I Choose the Bear Podcast.