This one starts exactly the way you’d expect two grown women who have been friends since Wet Seal and jelly sandals to reconnect on a podcast: a frozen screen, a dying phone, and me broadcasting from the back of my 2013 Ford Explorer next to barbed wire like I’m calling in from county lockup.
Tanisha and I have known each other for almost 30 years. She remembers me as the tiny “pretty preppy girl” from Southcenter Mall. I remind her I was a broke kid who hid peanut butter sandwiches in my pocket and got my hair butchered by a guy who learned to cut hair in prison.
We talk about growing up broke, getting our asses kicked in middle school, threatening parents at our kids’ school, stripping at Hooters out of pure spite, throwing our lives away on men we couldn’t quit, racking up DUIs, and raising kids while drowning in grief, debt, and toll lane violations.
And somewhere in all of that, we talk about Kingston. What it feels like to lose a child. What it feels like to stay in a city because your daughter deserves to keep the only place that remembers her brother lived. Why people think they’re being helpful when they tell grieving parents to “just move home.” Why survival looks ridiculous, embarrassing, ugly, resourceful, angry, and holy at the same time.
This episode is messy. It’s raw. It’s funny. It’s exactly what real life looks like when you stop trying to pretend you’re fine.
If you’ve ever felt alone, ashamed, overwhelmed, or convinced everyone else was doing better than you: buckle up. We are all disasters in different outfits.
Follow, stalk, or harass me on social:
Instagram: @HauteMess_LA
TikTok: @HauteMess.LA
Listen, rate, review, and share with someone who needs a reminder that their story isn’t the only wreck in town.
Welcome to Honestly, I’m Fine — the chaotic, raw, spiritually confused, dark-funny memoir-podcast of a woman who will absolutely say “I’m fine” while ugly crying in her car and eating carbs like communion.
In this first episode, I take you back to the exact moment my nervous system said, “Nope, we’re done here.”
I was eight.
My mom told me the man I called Dad… wasn’t.
And then suddenly I’m at McDonald’s with a stranger feeding me soft serve like a sad Hallmark special nobody greenlit.
We unpack:
• What happens when your DNA ghosts you
• How trauma chooses your future boyfriends
• Why emotionally unavailable men feel “like home”
• And how I still, somehow, believe in love anyway
It’s raw. It’s ridiculous. It’s cheaper than therapy.
If you’ve ever been abandoned, ignored, rejected, or accidentally married your trauma — welcome home.
Follow, share, rate, review, send to your group chat of emotionally unstable friends.
Let’s monetize the misery together.
SOCIALS + LINKS
Watch on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YbsH963JSY
Follow on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/hautemess_la/
Kickstarter – The AfterWords Project
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/theafterwords/the-afterwords-project-a-true-story-of-grief-and-rebuilding-0?ref=project_build&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaf9wjEx9POelTg9xtKmVUTRKRduRqEpag47bkIn4JVkX2coT2RZneUxBIBU8Q_aem_j-V-KCBfHIYR7_opv8Cl5g
GoFundMe – Help Maile & Zuma
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-maile-and-zuma-rebuild-after-tragedy?attribution_id=sl:06115cc4-9608-47db-9ec4-ca9f7cadfce3&utm_campaign=natman_sharesheet_dash&utm_content=amp13_c-amp14_t1&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link
This episode is about learning to recognize when Spirit is speaking and what it really means to ask for confirmation. I talk about how I’ve been experimenting with channeling, the signs that have shown up when I least expected them, and the moments that made me question whether I was making it all up or actually tuning in.
It’s a look at what happens when faith meets curiosity. I share how I’ve asked for proof, how it feels to receive it, and what it’s teaching me about trust, timing, and surrender.
If you’ve ever wondered how to tell the difference between coincidence and communication, or whether your loved ones still find ways to reach you, this episode will feel like sitting in that question together.
#TheAfterWords #SpiritualAwakening #ChannelingSpirit #SignsFromHeaven #Mediumship #GriefSupport #HealingJourney #LoveNeverDies #Intuition #TrustTheSigns #EnergyWork #FaithInAction #SoulConnection
Yup. Me again.
I know you’re tired of seeing my name pop up. I’m tired of being the one who has to ask. But GoFundMe doesn’t come with a mute button, so here I am again, asking you to share this with anyone who might understand what I’m crawling through.
Here’s the deal: I need a car. A decent one. One that doesn’t sound like it’s auditioning for a punk band every time I turn the key. My cousin’s holding one for me for two weeks—$3,500. Not fancy, but it runs.
If you’d rather send money straight to him, I’ll make it happen. I’ll pay it back, I’ll work it off, I’ll ghostwrite your memoir, whatever keeps me moving.
My credit looks like it went through a divorce and child loss—because it did. And before anyone asks why I don’t “just borrow from family,” remember: you’ve never seen me with anyone other than my kids.
This community is the only reason we’re still standing. I don’t want to just take. I want to build something sustainable for grieving families like mine. But nothing’s free. Not even grief. Gas isn’t free. My phone isn’t free. Surviving isn’t free.
I’m building something that matters—The Live Like Kingston Foundation—so no parent has to crawl through this alone. To file 501(c)(3) status costs $475. I’ve built the websites, written the plans, and done every bit of it myself. I just need help crossing the line.
I hate asking. It’s humiliating. But there have been days when I sat crying in my car because I didn’t know how I’d get gas or keep the lights on—and your help came through at the exact moment I needed it.
If you’ve got work, know a sponsor, or can contribute in any way, it all counts. If you can’t, just share this. Visibility is currency too.
I’m not lazy. I’m not broken. I’m just a mom rebuilding from ashes, one awkward, mascara-streaked laugh at a time.
— Maile Navarro
💜 Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/theafterwords/the-afterwords-project
🎧 The AfterWords Podcast: https://spotify.link/JU3p5p8GCXb
🌐 Websites:
theafterwordsproject.com — podcast + grief stories
livelikekingston.org — foundation + family support
thriveadvocacycollective.com — advocacy + navigation services
📱 Socials:
Instagram: @HauteMess_LA
Facebook: The AfterWords
#Grief #Motherhood #MentalHealth #Healing #Resilience #Faith #AfterLife #SingleMom #Humor #Inspiration #TheAfterWordsProject
If grief had its own voicemail, this would be it. Three minutes of chaos, comedy, and catharsis for anyone one missed payment away from a meltdown. Maile turns her exhaustion into performance art, telling capitalism to hold please—God’s still buffering.
Short. Savage. Spiritually delinquent.
What happens when life flips the script, leading you down a path of love, self discovery and resilience? This podcast shares a mother’s raw and unfiltered journey through unimaginable loss, fueled by hope and lessons from a wise young soul. With laughter, tears, and strength, we explore finding purpose, healing in chaos, and navigating life’s hardest challenges.
If I Never Get to See the Northern Lights
A true story about the song that saved me, the swing that held me, and the love I never stopped waiting for.
In this bonus episode, I’m sharing something I’ve never said out loud—about the late-night ritual that kept me going during some of the loneliest years of my life. A porch swing. A pair of headphones. A country song on repeat. And a love that lived quietly in my bones while the rest of my life demanded everything else.
This isn’t a breakup story. It’s a soul story. It’s about hope, memory, grief, and the kind of love that finds a way to exist even if it hasn’t come back yet.
If you’ve ever loved someone in silence…
If you’ve ever let a song carry you through a season…
If you’ve ever pictured your future with someone who wasn’t ready yet—
This one’s for you.
Full story also available on the blog at theafterwords.co
DM your thoughts on Instagram @TheAfterWordsPodcast
Subscribe for more episodes, meditations, and stories like this one
#Podcast #Grief #Love #TwinFlame #ThomasRhett #DieAHappyMan #UnspokenLove #AfterWordsPodcast #Memoir
One missed message. One “Oh, I didn’t know” moment. And suddenly, what should’ve been a simple birthday party turns into a full-body reminder that my nervous system is still wired for survival mode.
This episode isn’t about balloons or cake. It’s about how the smallest disruption can set off every alarm you’ve been trying to keep quiet since loss. I talk about the year mark that changed nothing, the reality of life after caregiving, and the way grief rewires you so deeply that other people’s normal will never feel like yours again.
Follow me on TikTok and Instagram, share this with someone who gets it, buy Zuma’s Magical Balloon on Amazon, or help keep the podcast going through sponsorships or donations. Because the truth is, spaces where we can tell it exactly how it is don’t build themselves — we build them together.
Hey there, my dear friend! I just had to share the journey I've been on this past year. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions since my sweetest boy left us. Every day, I feel his spirit, as bright and warm as the sun, guiding me on this path I never quite saw before.
You know, he always had this incredible way of seeing things I couldn't see. It's like he was meant to show me the true purpose of it all—our place and plans and, oh, where our souls belong. He always teased me for being fast while he was slow, insisting he'd light the way. And now, in some surreal and magical way, he really is.
Even though time feels like it's dragging its feet here, I take comfort in knowing that he's in a place where clocks don't even tick. But, not gonna lie, I still have moments where I just break down and cry out to God, longing to be where he is.
Sometimes I feel like I hear him, in the wind, whispering that he's been right here all along, cheering me on with that fearless spirit of his. I carry on with the courage and strength he taught me—he truly lived every single day to the fullest.
Now, I treasure every memory, holding them close until it's my time to join him. My son was not just my child but also my best teacher and truest friend. His life, his legacy, it's all woven into the fabric of who I am today.
Think your phone battery dies fast? Wait till you realize what your energy’s doing. In this episode, Maile and special guest Royce Perkins break down what energy actually is, how to know when yours is off, and why some people leave you feeling like you got hit by an emotional truck. From spiritual hygiene to energy leaks to grounding when everything’s chaotic—this is your crash course in frequency fluency. No crystals required.
🎧 Press play if:
You’ve ever walked into a room and instantly needed a nap
Your vibe attracts weirdos and you’re not sure why
You want to feel less crazy and more connected
✨ CONNECT + SUPPORT
💸 Donate: LiveLikeKingston.org/Donate
📚 Book: Zuma’s Magical Balloon
📝 Journal: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Connected
🌐 Websites: TheAfterWords.co | Thrive Advocacy Collective
📱 Socials:
IG: @TheAfterWordsPodcast | @HauteMess_LA
YouTube: @The_AfterWords
Medium: @theafterwords
It’s just me today. Royce is off doing normal things like earning a stable income and eating lunch. Meanwhile, I’m on the bathroom floor, asking out loud if Earth is actually hell or just some spiritual escape room designed by a sadistic Sims programmer.
This solo episode is a deep dive into grief, reincarnation, and the undeniable signs my son keeps sending me from the other side. Bird poop, Pokémon metaphors, psychic glitches, and the kind of synchronicities you can't make up.
If you've ever wondered whether you're losing your mind or waking up spiritually—this one's for you. Player 2 is already waiting. Press start.
New here? Grab the grief journal I swear by at theafterwords.co
✨ CONNECT + SUPPORT
💸 Donate or Support: LiveLikeKingston.org/Donate📱 Venmo: @LiveLikeKingston
📚 Buy the Book: Zuma’s Magical Balloon📝 Download: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Connected Grief Journal
🌐 Websites:
The AfterWords — podcast + grief resources
Thrive Advocacy Collective — family + advocacy support
Live Like Kingston — Kingston’s legacy + nonprofit
📣 Socials:
I woke up at 6 a.m. to a text from my ex-husband accusing me of having a drug problem.
Then my alarm ghosted me, my dog got attacked at the park, my landlord “lost” $18K, and I realized I have no Wi-Fi, no gas, and no working phone.
All before noon.
If your life also feels like it was written by the same people who made The Truman Show and Mean Girls, just know—it’s probably not you.
It’s the moon.
The Harvest Supermoon is out here in her villain era, dragging us all with her.
This episode includes:
☕ Starbucks Wi-Fi survival
🐕 Dog drama
🏫 School chaos
💸 Missing money
😵💫 Emotional instability (but make it funny)
Listen, laugh, and remember—we’re all performing without a net here.
In this episode of The AfterWords, I take you on a deeply personal journey through the ways we hold ourselves back and question our worth. I explore how self-sabotage shows up in everyday life, the little traumas and limiting beliefs that shape how we see ourselves, and the challenge of breaking free from those patterns.
It took losing my son to truly see myself through his eyes—to recognize my strength, resilience, and the love I give despite fear and doubt. From confronting panic, judgment, and grief to learning how to trust myself and embrace my inherent value, this episode is about seeing the ways you are already enough. I share practical steps for reclaiming your worth, setting boundaries, and allowing yourself to receive love, support, and abundance.
If you’ve ever struggled with feeling “too much,” doubting yourself, or hiding your truth to make others comfortable, this episode is for you. Join me as we break the cycle, step into self-compassion, and start believing in our own worth again.
✨ CONNECT + SUPPORT
💸 Donate or Support: LiveLikeKingston.org/Donate📱 Venmo: @LiveLikeKingston
📚 Buy the Book: Zuma’s Magical Balloon📝 Download: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Connected Grief Journal
🌐 Websites:
The AfterWords — podcast + grief resources
Thrive Advocacy Collective — family + advocacy support
Live Like Kingston — Kingston’s legacy + nonprofit
📣 Socials:
Grief gets weird and energy gets real in this episode of The AfterWords. Maile teams up with Royce Perkins to unpack what it means to clear energy, cut cords, and raise your vibration—without sounding like a Pinterest board.
They break down what twin flames really are (hint: not always romantic, not always mutual, and definitely not always healthy), and Maile opens up about the one connection that wrecked her the most… the one she felt in her soul but never got to see reflected back. The one she still can’t shake, even when every sign points to let go.
If you’ve ever held on too long, loved too hard, or felt someone in your bones who barely remembered your name—this is your episode.
Also covered:
⚡ What energy actually is
🧼 Cord cutting without the crystals
📡 Quantum entanglement (and why Maile thinks someone from the Bush era still thinks about her)
🕯️ How to raise your vibe enough to connect with the people you've lost
It’s raw. It’s funny. It’s too real.
And no, you’re not crazy. You’re just still entangled.
✨ CONNECT + SUPPORT
💸 Donate or Support: LiveLikeKingston.org/Donate📱 Venmo: @LiveLikeKingston
📚 Buy the Book: Zuma’s Magical Balloon📝 Download: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Connected Grief Journal
🌐 Websites:
The AfterWords — podcast + grief resources
Thrive Advocacy Collective — family + advocacy support
Live Like Kingston — Kingston’s legacy + nonprofit
📣 Socials:
Welcome, spiritual misfits, to a brand-new episode of The AfterWords! I’m Maile Navarro, your host and full-time chaos coordinator, joined by my 9-year-old co-host, Zuma—wise beyond her years and brutally honest about life’s awkward moments.
In this episode, we dive headfirst into the hilariously painful world of empathy fails—those cringe-worthy things people say when they’re trying to comfort you but mostly just make it worse. Think “Everything happens for a reason” or “At least he’s in a better place”—and yes, we dissect why your brain wants to punch people in the face while they say it.
Zuma weighs in with her sharp, childlike perspective on the weirdest things adults say to people who are grieving (spoiler: it often involves wombat poop), and I share my own chaotic, grief-brain moments that prove life is messy, unfixable, and hilarious if you survive it.
Expect:
Wild, unfiltered stories from the trenches of grief and chaos
Insights into why our brains glitch when faced with others’ pain
Hilarious, awkward, and sometimes WTF-worthy comfort attempts from well-meaning humans
Sarcastic wisdom from a 9-year-old who calls it like she sees it
Settle in, grab a drink, maybe light a candle (or just glare at your Wi-Fi router), and join us as we laugh at life’s dumpster fire while finding the humor—and maybe a little healing—along the way.
✨ CONNECT + SUPPORT
💸 Donate or Support: LiveLikeKingston.org/Donate
📱 Venmo: @LiveLikeKingston
📚 Buy the Book: Zuma’s Magical Balloon
📝 Download: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Connected Grief Journal
🌐 Websites:
The AfterWords — podcast + grief resources
Thrive Advocacy Collective — family + advocacy support
Live Like Kingston — Kingston’s legacy + nonprofit
📣 Socials:
Hey, I’m Maile Navarro — writer, mother, and reluctant spokesperson for emotional train wrecks everywhere. The After Words is my therapy session disguised as a podcast, where I justify talking to my dead kid because, well, he talks back.
I lost my son Kingston to brain cancer, and "grief"? She’s a manipulative little beast. She makes you question your sanity, your Wi-Fi connection, and occasionally, your purpose on this planet. But somewhere between the tears, the signs, and the “holy-shit-was-that-him?” moments, I discovered something wild — love doesn’t end when they die.
This isn’t your tidy, shrink-wrapped version of healing. It’s grief with a dark sense of humor, Spirit with a side of sarcasm, and me trying not to lose my mind while raising a living child, talking to a dead one, and figuring out how to afford my next latte.
If you’ve ever felt crazy for believing in signs, or laughed so hard you cried (or cried so hard you laughed), you belong here. Welcome to The After Words. Grab a drink, grab a tissue, and maybe a carrier pigeon — I’m still figuring out my Wi-Fi situation.
✨ CONNECT + SUPPORT
💸 Donate or Support: LiveLikeKingston.org/Donate
📱 Venmo: @LiveLikeKingston
📚 Buy the Book: Zuma’s Magical Balloon
📝 Download: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Connected Grief Journal
🌐 Websites:
The AfterWords — podcast + grief resources
Thrive Advocacy Collective — family + advocacy support
Live Like Kingston — Kingston’s legacy + nonprofit
📣 Socials:
When the world outside is burning and the ghosts inside won’t stay quiet, where do you run? In this raw, poetic reflection, one mother recounts a night where the sky glows with wildfire and the past claws its way through the smoke. Haunted by grief, panic, and a growing fear that safety is a myth, she weighs escape against survival—for herself and for her daughter, who’s already seen more devastation than a child ever should.
Part confessional, part reckoning, this episode dives into the terrifying beauty of disaster, the invisible weight of motherhood, and the question every survivor eventually faces:
Is it safer to stay in the fire you know, or flee into the unknown?
✨ CONNECT + SUPPORT
💸 Donate or Support: LiveLikeKingston.org/Donate📱 Venmo: @LiveLikeKingston
📚 Buy the Book: Zuma’s Magical Balloon📝 Download: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Connected Grief Journal
🌐 Websites:
The AfterWords — podcast + grief resources
Thrive Advocacy Collective — family + advocacy support
Live Like Kingston — Kingston’s legacy + nonprofit
📣 Socials: