Psychoanalytically speaking, to to create a sense of self is to attach.
Not just to people, but to ideas, ideals, desires, and pain. Yeah, even the tough stuff. Because within that, we construct what we consider to be identity. And that's why losing those attachments causes so much pain.
In this episode, we explore Judith Butler’s concept of “passionate attachments," or the idea that who we are is shaped by what, and whom, we cannot let go of. Drawing from Freud, Laplanche, Winnicott, Jessica Benjamin, Lacan, and Kristeva, we trace how attachment gives rise to identity, desire, and dependence and how it can both sustain and entrap us.
We’ll talk about:– How attachment forms the foundation of identity– Why we cling to what hurts us– The paradox of freedom and dependence– How to live consciously within our attachments
We're humans. We're going to trap ourselves. Here's some information to help us trap wisely.
00:00 intro01:00 object relations theory02:33 selfhood is entirely based on attachment03:50 Butler and Psychic Life of Power04:49 intersubjectivity05:06 domination and recognition05:40 what do you orient your life around06:20 Winnicott and the good enough mother07:44 Simone de Beauvoir and freedom10:45 does it feel safer to attach to pain?11:30 Julia Kristeva and objection12:19 cutting ties vs understanding what the ties mean14:25 binding ourselves wisely
When did healing become a full-time job?
Let's explore the rise of therapy culture: how healing became a modern religion, how peace turned into a performance, and why the pursuit of “wholeness” often leaves us more fragmented than before.
Tracing a line from Saint Augustine’s theology of suffering to Freud’s invention of the inner self, from self-help optimism to Instagram therapy, we unpack how our understanding of pain and happiness has evolved and what we might have lost along the way.
With the help of Nietzsche, Foucault, Hannah Arendt, Byung-Chul Han, and bell hooks, we ask:
When did self-awareness become a moral virtue?
What happens when introspection replaces participation?
And what might healing look like if it stopped being a performance and started being a practice?
Find me on the internet:
Website: www.aubreyaust.com
Instagram: @aubrey__aust
Hint of Trauma Instagram: @hintoftrauma
Why is it that the very thing we long for — love, peace, joy — can also feel so unsafe?
Through the lenses of trauma psychology, attachment theory, and philosophy, we unpack how the nervous system learns to associate goodness with risk, and why feeling safe in joy can take time.
Drawing from polyvagal theory, Simone Weil, Byung-Chul Han, Nietzsche, and relational neuroscience, we look at the body’s instinct to protect itself from vulnerability, the brain’s fear of impermanence, and the learned belief that calm must always precede collapse.
We’ll talk about:
Because sometimes we need to teach ourselves how to stay with joy.
00:00 Intro
01:29 The Nervous System and Joy
03:34 The Psychology of Joy and Fear
04:49 Trauma, Attachment, and the Fear of Good Feelings
07:26 The Fragility of Goodness (Simone Weil, Nietzsche, Byung-Chul Han)
12:05 You can't schedule guaranteed joy. Kind of.
Find me on the internet:
Website: www.aubreyaust.com
Instagram: @aubrey__aust
Hint of Trauma Instagram: @hintoftrauma
What does it mean to want?
Desire animates everything: our choices, our relationships, and our pursuit of meaning. But it also unsettles us. Maybe something that's both the pulse of life and the source of our restlessness deserves a little examination.
In this episode, we explore the philosophy and psychology of desire, or why we want what we want, and what our wanting reveals about who we are.
Is desire meant to be satisfied, or to sustain us? What can our longings teach us about the unconscious? And how do we distinguish between the desires that expand us and those that quietly undo us?
Because desire isn’t just about having — it’s about becoming. And when we learn to hold it with awareness, it transforms from a source of suffering into a map toward self-understanding.
00:00 Opening
01:22 What is desire?
02:29 Motion and mirror: the two sides of desire
03:17 Hannah Arendt and Saint Augustine on love and longing
05:09 Love as possession vs love as participation
05:50 Restlessness is a sign of vitality
06:05 Freud and the desire drive
06:52 Lacan and the desire of the Other
08:10 Repetition compulsion
08:43 Stoicism and desire bondage
10:35 Epicureanism and the three categories of desire
13:17 Desire shapes the outline of our becoming
14:46 Five steps to actually learn from desire
16:52 Closing
Find me on the internet:
Website: www.aubreyaust.com
Instagram: @aubrey__aust
Hint of Trauma Instagram: @hintoftrauma
We often talk about healing as something personal: therapy, journaling, self-work, boundaries. But what if healing was never meant to be done alone?
In this episode, we dive into collective healing: the idea that we recover in community, not isolation. Here, we’ll look at the myth of independence, the costs of hyper-individualism, and the power of village mentality: the understanding that our healing is bound up in one another.
We’ll explore how community care has always existed, from Indigenous talking circles to African community rituals to Asian ancestral lineage practices, and why these ancestral forms of healing offer something modern wellness often forgets. And, let's get into why collective healing is difficult: the weight of history, unprocessed grief, and the deep cultural distrust that makes connection hard.
Because trauma doesn’t happen in isolation... and neither does repair.
00:00 Intro
01:09 We were never meant to heal in isolation
01:49 The village mentality
04:11 Individualized healing and the myth of independence
05:16 Performative self-sufficiency and hyperindependence
06:17 Healing happens in community
06:40 Cultural examples of community care and healing
08:22 And, collective healing is hard
11:20 Collective trauma theory
13:25 What does collective healing look like in practice?
16:23 Closing
Find me on the internet:Website: www.aubreyaust.comInstagram: @aubrey__austHint of Trauma Instagram: @hintoftrauma
Vulnerability is one of the most essential practices for deep, genuine connection. So why does it feel almost impossible at times?
To answer that, we need to take a step back and ask ourselves, what is vulnerability, really? Why does it matter? And why does it so often feel unsafe? In this episode, we’ll explore the psychology and philosophy of vulnerability: how it shows up in the body, why it’s tied to shame, and what thinkers like Kierkegaard, Beauvoir, and Levinas can teach us about the paradox of exposure and connection.
We’ll also get practical: how do you strengthen your “vulnerability muscle” without collapsing into overwhelm? And what are the first steps toward cultivating openness in a way that actually deepens trust?
00:00 Intro
01:42 What is vulnerability
02:02 Psychologically, what does vulnerability entail?
03:30 How vulnerability shows up in the body
04:29 Why does vulnerability feel inaccessible at times?
05:07 The link to shame
05:56 The Philosophy of Vulnerability (Kierkegaard and Beauvoir)
06:57 The paradox of risk and possibility
07:57 Levinas and interdependence
09:16 To Earn Trust
10:45 Five steps to strengthen the vulnerability muscle
13:47 Closing
Find me on the internet:
Website: www.aubreyaust.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aubrey__aust/
Hint Of Trauma Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hintoftrauma/
Psychologically, belonging is one of our deepest human needs. But what actually makes us feel like we belong? And what do we give up in order to fit in?
Here, we'll explore the psychology and philosophy of belonging: why our nervous systems are wired for connection, what happens when belonging comes at the cost of self-erasure, and how thinkers like Aristotle, Hannah Arendt, and Kierkegaard help us understand the paradoxes of community. We’ll also talk about the five pillars of belonging and practical ways to cultivate it in your own life.
00:00 Intro
00:54 The illusion of hyperindependence
02:09 My foolish stories of hyperindependence
03:05 Why belonging is important
04:24 What do we sacrifice to belong?
07:20 Environment and belonging
07:57 The psychology of belonging
08:53 Loneliness is a stress state
09:50 The five pillars of belonging
11:38 Aristotle and Zoon Politikon
12:06 Hannah Arendt and Belonging Through Plurality
13:32 Kierkegaard and the paradox of belonging
16:03 How do we actually cultivate belonging in our lives?
18:18 Closing
Find me on the internet:
Website: www.aubreyaust.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aubrey__aust/
Hint Of Trauma Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hintoftrauma/
We all have a moment, a person, or an event that lives in our heads rent-free. And sometimes, we want to kick it out.
What do our "Roman Empires" say about ourselves? And how do we integrate those thoughts into our life stories? Here, we'll explore how the loops of thought and memory shape who we are. Drawing from psychology and philosophy, we’ll look at why certain experiences live on in our minds, how memory is less a recording than a reconstruction, and the role the unconscious plays in repeating what we haven’t yet resolved.
00:55 What is a "Roman Empire" / the meme the myth the legend
02:10 How our thoughts shape us
02:48 The neuroscience of memory
04:04 How memories change over time
04:37 Narrative Identity Theory
05:09 Trauma and memory
05:40 Freud and repetition compulsion
06:32 Remembering is reinterpretation
07:16 What's trapped in the unconscious
09:57 The unconscious and memory
11:05 Sartre and bad faith
13:07 Summary
Find me on the internet:
Website: www.aubreyaust.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aubrey__aust/
Hint Of Trauma Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hintoftrauma/
Connection is a reflection of the self: who we are and who we are becoming. But what even is the self? Does it exist outside of our relationships? Both psychology and philosophy have some hot takes, including important notes on agency, recognition, and expansion.
Maybe it's a little less about "do I like them" and a little more about "do I like who I am when I'm with them."
Show Notes:
00:00 Welcome to Hint of Trauma
01:19: What this podcast is about
02:29 Who am I without you?
03:00 The self vs the relational self
05:25 Lacan and the mirror stage
07:46 The self is fixed?
08:12 Post-modernism and the changing self
09:53 Stop throwing around the word codependency
10:27 What is the relational field
12:47 The responsibility to the Other
13:07 Why relational shifts feel threatening to selfhood
14:24 The beauty in the breakup: Byung Chul Han on grief
16:43 Who do I become around you?
17:45 Dan McAdams and Narrative Identity
Find me on the internet:
Website: www.aubreyaust.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aubrey__aust/