Why is it that the very thing we long for — love, peace, joy — can also feel so unsafe?

Through the lenses of trauma psychology, attachment theory, and philosophy, we unpack how the nervous system learns to associate goodness with risk, and why feeling safe in joy can take time.

Drawing from polyvagal theory, Simone Weil, Byung-Chul Han, Nietzsche, and relational neuroscience, we look at the body’s instinct to protect itself from vulnerability, the brain’s fear of impermanence, and the learned belief that calm must always precede collapse.

We’ll talk about:

• Why the nervous system can mistake joy for danger
• The “window of tolerance” and how we expand it
• How attachment patterns shape our ability to feel good
• The philosophy of joy’s fragility and impermanence
• Practical ways to build a relationship with joy instead of bracing against it

Because sometimes we need to teach ourselves how to stay with joy.

00:00 Intro

01:29 The Nervous System and Joy

03:34 The Psychology of Joy and Fear

04:49 Trauma, Attachment, and the Fear of Good Feelings

07:26 The Fragility of Goodness (Simone Weil, Nietzsche, Byung-Chul Han)

12:05 You can't schedule guaranteed joy. Kind of.

Find me on the internet:
Website: www.aubreyaust.com
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Hint of Trauma Instagram: @hintoftrauma