It's easy to drift through life on autopilot.
Until you find yourself unable to make a water crossing.
Three ways you can interrupt autopilot to connect with yourself.
1. Ask yourself. What do I need?
2. Make room for quiet.
3. Practice Awareness, Practice Awareness, Practice Awareness.
Using a keystone activity as a reflection anchor.
- Choose an activity that has meaning to you. It may be something that has uncomfortable associations, it may reflect an underlying value. It may be celebratory.
- Choose an accompanying affirmation to use as a reflection.
You can try 'I release myself from the outcome'.
- Whilst you are engaging in the activity actively reflect on thoughts and feelings that arise; the nature of the process; and the outcome of the process.
Through releasing expectations and allowing yourself to fail, you are treating yourself with compassion.
May joy flow through the cracks this Christmas.
------------------
I have this theory about wonderful women. It goes like this:
Without doubt we are a special bunch.
Regardless of what life throws at us, we’re willing to work to find calm in our world whilst not running away from it. Our dreams consist not of power and progress, but of understanding, cooperation and healing.
We firmly believe in the power of knowing ourselves, respecting others, honouring our environment and fostering deep connections. And we love receiving and giving sprinkles of wisdom.
Join the community of other wonderful women who receive regular sprinkles in their inbox from me. It's where I share insights, inspiration, reflections, support and do-able strategies on how you can create and integrate more calm, connection and confidence into your life without running away to Bali.
A reminder this podcast is for general information and advice only. It is not designed to replace therapy in any way. For some people Christmas is not just stressful, it is also traumatic.
The information provided in this podcast is not meant to address Christmas trauma. If you are experiencing trauma, overwhelming Christmas anxiety, depression, or any other mental health concern please see your GP, or your mental health therapist.
If you liked what you just listened to, I’d appreciate you leaving Creating Connections a review or sharing this podcast with your friends.
Hello, and welcome to the edition of Creating Connection where we talk about how wonderful women can start to embrace their inner wisdom.
First, wisdom isn't a construct with one definition and one theory. In the world of psychological investigation we're still exploring, we're still researching, debating, and discussing what is Wisdom.
I'm giving you my take on four key aspects of wisdom: experience, reflection, compassion and action.
1. Experience. That does not mean age. Research shows that your wisdom increases to around your mid-20s. And then it plateaus. And when you're much older, it may decrease.
2. Reflection, compassion and action. It's not just sitting here pontificating, it's making things happen. It's living it, sharing it, acting upon it, connecting with others, making change, and it's compassionate.
You can have all the experience and all the knowledge. But if you're an empty vessel, if you're agitating for the sake of it, if your aim behind sharing your knowledge is, just to make money or just progress and growth for the sake of it, you're missing the point.
The point is to take compassionate action. It's caring, it's connection. And Reflection is the processing of your experiences so that you can take compassionate action.
Today, in particular, I want to take you through reflection, and three things to take into account with reflection.
Three aspects of reflection.: space, time, and direction.
Let's start with Space. And I'm talking about where you find the mental and physical space for reflection.
We all lead parallel lives: a physical life and a digital life. Your physical life includes - raising children, managing the household, building careers. And then you have this other life, which runs along in the background, which is your digital world. And it never switches off. So, you're not just managing this world, you're also managing your relationship with this world. Not a lot of space in here for reflection is there.
And depending on your life stage, you'll also have additional challenges. If your children are young, that space to think for yourself can seem like non-existent because children are young, they want to be with you all the time. They want to be with you when you shower or go to the toilet or sleep. And some children don't, I am generalising. But when you're a parent, and you're in that stage, it can feel quite claustrophobic. No matter how much you love your kids. Where is that space for you? How do you carve that out?
Time. Not having enough time is one of the biggest reasons that people give for not engaging in self-care. We lead these lives, trying to balance these two lives parallel.
However, there are three main different ways you can factor in time for reflection.
1. You can take a retreat. Whether it’s half a day, full day, weekend or longer. There is something truly magical about taking that space and time for yourself. However, it's not always practical, it's not always affordable. Luckily, there are two other main ways that you can do this.
2. You can set aside a regular, time of the day or week where you can reflect.
3. You can integrate it into day-to-day practices.
A reminder this podcast is for general information and advice only. It is not designed to replace therapy in any way. If you are experiencing any mental health concerns please see your GP, or your mental health therapist.
- Join the Sprinkles of Wisdom for Wonderful Women Newsletter Community - https://bit.ly/SprinklesOfWisdom.
Feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to create a "perfect" Christmas? Discover how to simplify expectations, reduce stress, and embrace an awesome holiday season with these 6 powerful steps. 1. Awareness. Take 10-20 minutes and connect with what you feel and what you think about all these expectations that you have created or bought into. What are the thoughts and feelings that come up when you think about Christmas? Find something to write in and listen to what you are saying to yourself. It may look something like this “I’m feeling guilty because I don’t want to make my pudding this year, but I know everyone loves it and I should”. I’m feeling sad. I keep thinking how much I miss my mum and wish she was here’ I’m feeling overwhelmed. There’s so much to do and I don’t know where I’m going to fit it in. I’m feeling angry. I don’t want to go to x/s house on Christmas Day. We always do and it’s not fair. I want to stay at y own home all day and let the kids play. "I'm feeling confused. I don't know how to keep everyone from not fighting on Christmas Day and I just wish it was all over. "I don't know where to start”. Note:: If getting in touch with your feelings is difficult there can be a few reasons why that is happening. You can come back to exploring your feelings in the future either with your GP, or mental health therapist, or if this is something you would like help with you are welcome to contact me for an appointment. 2. Reflection. Once you’ve named and acknowledged your thoughts and feelings it’s time to reflect on what they might be trying to tell you about what is important to you at Christmas. Here are some simple guiding reflection questions. What are your best memories of Christmas's past? What would you have liked to have done last year that you didn’t get to do? What got in the way of that happening? Is there something different/special coming up this year that you are looking forward to? What was stressful? What would you like to change? What is the most important thing about the Christmas season for you? Include everything in the lead up to Christmas Day and the days after?
------
How to Make This Christmas Simply Awesome
Join the Wonderful Women Community.
Hi. If you are looking for a way to, you know, brighten up your walks, put some pet back in your step, change it up a little. This episode is for you. In this episode, I bring to you the walking is awesome bingo card.
I wanted to take the opportunity to talk about why I've included some of them, because, you know, I'm not a fitness expert, not a physical fitness expert. I'm a psychologist and we are experts in mental health, and fitness, and these are some of the things that make doing this bingo card a little bit different.
There are elements of counting steps of looking at time, but also some things that you might go, why would I be doing that?
And I'm gonna tell you why.
Because the key components of walking and creating a habit have to do with enjoying the process, right?
So many people will say, oh, I know I should walk, or, I haven't got time for walk or walking is so boring and I get it.
You know, life can be super chaotic and it takes time to walk, or the difference between going for a five K run and going for a five K walk is quite significant.
Mind you, the last time I went for a five K run, it probably took me about as long as a 5K walk. I'm not a natural runner, so I stick to walking, but it's like I have to walk for like an hour a day. I mean, I haven't got an hour in the day, you know, I don't wanna walk for an hour in the day.
It's boring. So we break it up. I don't walk an hour at a time. I think I walk roughly an hour all up, but it's spaced, right? You don't have to do it all at once.
The things that I have in this bingo card are bite-sized.
There are 25 different things, and you can choose to do a square a day.
You might do a couple of squares on a day over different walks. There might be some gaps in between gaps, whichever. There's no timeline for this. So the first one, walk 4,000 steps.
4,000 tends to be around half an hour, depending on how quickly you walk. It might take a bit longer, it might take you less time. For me, my morning walk is roughly 4,000 steps, and then I'll do some more later.
Walking alone is the next one on the card.
Walking by yourself can be a significant anxiety hurdle to overcome.
You may feel less safe walking by yourself.
Now, I don't put a time limit or a step limit around this.
Whatever you can do if you haven't walked by yourself before and it's a big obstacle, just walk to the letterbox, walk around the block, walk somewhere that feels quite safe for you to walk.
-------
A Creating Connection Podcast by Kim Ross, Psychologist.
Positive Young Minds
Download your free Walking is Awesome Bingo Card
BEFORE YOU GO, CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOUR? If you like this episode, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss upcoming episodes, and share it with your friends. If you would like to help others understand how connection matters leaving a review is one of the best ways to do this. If you do so please let me know so I can read it on in an upcoming podcast.
Thank you. And until next time, take care of yourself. Kim xx
----------------
Kim Ross, Psychologist and Founder of Positive Young Minds
www.positiveyoungminds.com.au
Mental barriers to leaving the house. 0:00
Do you struggle with anxiety and avoidance, feeling overwhelmed by the thought of leaving the house?
Recognizing and managing inner dialogue. 1:18
Reflecting on inner dialogue and thoughts, seeking to understand and manage their impact.
Finding clarity and purpose through self-reflection. 2:42
Daily habits and values, the power of clarity and aligning habits with your desired life path.
Overcoming addiction and negative thoughts. 4:33
Personal growth and realization of negative thoughts and feelings after recognising avoidance and addictive habits.
Creating a walking habit for mental health. 6:15
Committing to a walking habit, despite lack of motivation.
A walking program can be a great support to your mental health journey.
www.positiveyoungminds.com.au
In this one off podcast I highlight over 20 dos and don'ts of networking. It can be scary stepping into your first networking event, this podcast gives you some tips and strategies to help smooth out the process and understand why networking is crucial for fierce self-care.
Here is the link for the free Networking Checklist mentioned - https://thefierceselfcarehub.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/37
Have you been told you should walk? Maybe that’s what’s getting in the way.
In this episode
Join the Walking is Awesome program, or work one on one with me to establish a long term walking habit that you want to do.
https://bit.ly/3PpsSCg.
If you found this episode useful, I would appreciate a review, as it helps others find the Creating Connections Podcast.
If you have suggestions for future topics, you are warmly welcome to email me at walkingisawesome@proton.me.
In this episode, Kim Ross, Psychologist from Positive Young Minds, takes you through three ways you can make micro-connections, and talk a bit more about the power of walking.
Three ways to make a micro-connection
1. internally
2. non-verbal
3. verbal
Join the waitlist for the Walking is Awesome program
In this episode, we're going to look at a little bit about managing your emotions, having a play with your emotions while you are walking. Walking is a wonderful time to tap in with the current moment. All right, so the other day I have this normal walk in the morning that I do, and it's a routine path. I think I could actually walk this with my eyes closed, even stopping at the streets and everything, cuz I have done this walk literally thousands of times. Wow. Cause I've been doing it for years. I do it nearly every day. And there's 365 days in a year, not including leap years. So it is ingrained in my brain. My brain knows where we are going.
This episode looks at
1. How to make your walk emotionally safe.
2. Then shake things up and introduce a change.
3. Tune into your inner anxiety, gradually, in a way that works for you.
4. How you can use your body to relax your mind.
The Walking is Awesome program.
----------
Put your own oxygen mask on first.
Seemingly innocuous, a reminder to engage in self-care, which I'm totally all about.
However,
When you're struggling in life and doing your best and nothing seems to be helping this is not a helpful statement.
You know that self-care is important.
You know you need to look after yourself.
But sometimes
You can't find the mask, or
Yours hasn't dropped down, or
You don't know how to put it on, or
You look at it and can't remember what it is.
Whilst the air hosts were explaining what happens in the safety instructions,
Someone was talking to you, or
You were running through the to do list of what needs to happen when you hop off your flight, or
Your mind was consumed with worry about an ongoing problem or
it had taken all your energy just to get on the plane you were exhausted
Or all of the above.
It's not always that easy.
-----------------
This podcast is for general information and education only. It is not therapy, or meant to replace therapy in anyway. If you feel disturbed in anyway after listening to this please contact your psychologist, therapist or general practitioner.
I am available for individual consultation.
Bookings can be made here -
For parents - you are welcome to subscribe to Positive Young Minds Parenting Community.
For therapists - Private Practice Sustainability Community.
www.positiveyoungminds.com.au
hello@positiveyoungminds.com.au.
Walking doesn't have to be a chore.
Yes, it's 'good for you', and often suggested as a exercise to improve mental and physical health, and it's benefits are supported by research, especially in conjunction with medication and/or therapy.
But when something is good for you, it can become associated with guilt if you're not doing it.
I share with you one of the reasons why I appreciate the power of walking and one of the strategies I used, and still use to reinforce my daily walk habit.
The Walking is Awesome program wants to help you love the process of your daily walk, not just the results.
Join the Walking is Awesome waitlist - subscribepage.io/ejYJGC
Speed networking can sound scary. It's loud and quick and not for the fient hearted. To help you create connections that matter, here are some strategies to stand out and not get lost in the crowd. Here are a couple of quick take aways. 1. Check the font on your business cards, both the contrast and the font. Hint - give it to someone over 50 to read. 2. The people who stood out talked about the pleasure they find in being part of someone’s life and helping them within their speciality. 3. The importance of differentiating yourself when there are umpteen finance/mortgage brokers, or any multiple businesses. The people who stood out were able to articulate what they did differently, and what clients they particularly loved working with. 4. Ensure your name is on any information you give to others. 5. Take advantage of the opportunity to practice your elevator pitch over and over. You find out whether it sounds boring to your ears and because you talk to so many people you get to change it up as you go. I think I had it about right by the end. 6. The difference it makes when you tailor your pitch to the person in front of you (the hint that going second in the pairing helps you do this). I think this is what my pitch ended up sounding like at the end, note to self- next time take better notes! I’m passionate about reducing isolation and increasing connection. This is translated into supporting parents by working with them and their kids to help with anxiety, sleep problems, emotional and behavioural difficulties and school refusal. Also with parent education. And then in a non-clinical way helping mental health professionals reduce their isolation so they can keep doing great work to help others (or at least everything I said was some variation on that). If you are a mental health professional and concerned about burning out and would love to switch from traditional to fierce self-care with a focus on connection, I recommend you start here - the Time to Check In mini workbook. It will help you identify some of your biggest sources of stress and is aimed to give you structure to reflect on what is behind them.
What is fierce self-care for therapists? Fierce self-care is committed, passionate, bold and dynamic. The process of taking charge of your mental and physical health is not set and forget. It matters, because you matter. Your feelings, your health and welbeing, your relationships and your business. This podcast touches on what fierce self-care looks like in the domains of connection, meaning, body, mind and heart. ----
Download your free resource - How Well Am I Coping?
Book an individual online session for support with your self-care.
Want to do it yourself? Your online on demand Essential Self-Care course.
Transitions - The space that exists between work and personal life is a fluid space.
This no mans land is valuable territory, where close attention can clarify what really matters to you, and what just isn't working at home and/or work. This episodes also provides a couple of brief suggestions about how to effectively manage transitions so that you can be more present in each part of your life.
If better work-life balance, burnout prevention and self-care matter to you, join the Private Practice Sustainability community.
If you have a dilemma or a question you can email me, I will respond and maybe feature it on an upcoming podcast.
Because I believe that looking after yourself is to be supported and honoured, not something tacked on to your to do list.
#SelfCare #BurnoutPrevention #Wellbeing #MentalHealth #PrivatePracticeSustainability
ps question to ponder. How is jelly like boundaries?
Learning how to pay attention to your thoughts, feelings and experiences in a mindful way is the key to all the changes you wish to make.
Many of us engage in activities that take us away from paying attention or noticing.
Things like binge watching, gaming, reading, gambling, drinking, scrolling, eating.
Any behaviour that takes us away from what you are feeling, thinking, experiencing may be helpful or not.
There are two facts here:
• Increasing your awareness can be difficult and painful.
• Reducing your awareness can be isolating and life shrinking.
With the first one – it’s a caution that increased awareness needs to be monitored. So before diving into any mindfulness based program engage someone experienced who can act as a guide (like me ;) ).
For most people, it’s worth it, because among the downsides to NOT increasing awareness is numbness, disconnection, denial, and a small life.
To ease into it we're going to start with the practice of savouring. Choosing something you love and giving it your full attention. Have yourself a tiny little experience.
The first bite of something. Your morning coffee, A flower, the wind, a piece of music.
1. Do just this one thing.
2. Use your senses to fully experience this moment.
You can record it in a journal or keep it as a visual memory.
One reminder to engage in savouring, is if you feel the urge to take a take a photo of something, savour it first.
Three ways to regain your parenting confidence.
It's easy to lose your confidence as a parent, starting with preparing to become pregnant.
There are so many stages where it's easy to lose confidence.
preparing to be pregnant
being pregnant
giving birth
the first milestones - sleeping, feeding,developing
kindergarten
the education process.
Three ways to gain confidence:
stop comparing your child and you with everyone else
letting go of the shoulds/expectations
increasing your range of identities
https://www.halaxy.com/book/mrs-kim-dunn/psychologist/18816/518581If you'd like to book an individual session - https://www.halaxy.com/book/mrs-kim-dunn/psychologist/18816/518581.
Anxiety, depression, bullying and belonging: why I became a micro business owner.
Being a child with anxiety and depression is difficult, as is parenting a child with anxiety and depression.
Early intervention and teaching positive psychology strategies to help manage mental health is crucial.
My businesses Positive Young Minds and Private Practice Sustainability are driven by my mission to teach positive mental health skills as early as possible - in life and in private practice. At the heart of this is increasing connection and belonging and reducing isolation.
Private Practice Sustainability
