Have you ever been told, “You need to lower your expectations”? This kind of advice is often given after you’ve expressed feeling hurt in a relationship. It could be that you were hurt by your partner, a parent, a sibling, or a friend, and this advice is intended to ease your suffering. However, I believe that suffering is a part of the human experience. In fact, it’s also part of feeling the most happiness and joy.
In this episode, I share why lowering your expectations is a myth, how it can actually contribute to more suffering in certain situations, and how it’s often used to suppress emotions rather than help someone express themselves. I break this all down and more in this episode.
Listen now.
Have you said out loud to your partner or to yourself, “I deserve to be respected,” or “I feel disrespected,” whether it’s something you’ve currently said or something you’ve said to an Ex?Do I want you to feel respected? 100%. BUT, there’s way more to this sentiment than what you think. The hard truth is when you think you deserve to be respected, it’s mostly coming from the ego. Not all of it, but a lot of it. And when a thought or feeling is getting activated by the ego, it’s code for: there’s something much deeper going on. In this episode, I share with you one question that will get you to the deeper truth of why you’ve felt so disrespected in the past or within your current relationship. This one question is actually at the heart of why you’ve maybe been stuck in a pattern of feeling so disrespected in relationships. When you can answer this question with total honesty and understanding, something will change this pattern inside of you for good. I don’t mean that you won’t ever feel disrespected, but when that thought comes through, you’ll know WHY and what you need to ask for instead.
Take a listen. I think you’ll really enjoy this one!
In this episode, I intuitively share the steps I’ve personally used in my relationship with my husband, Hemal, as well as the techniques I’ve applied to help many couples navigate fights and conflict. I explain how to grow through conflict and how it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with the relationship or that it needs to be destructive.
Conflict, especially in long-term relationships, is normal and healthy. It becomes healthy when used as an opportunity to deeply understand each other, express emotions you haven’t been able to put into words, and take accountability for what’s yours while helping your partner recognize what’s theirs.
You’ll LOVE how I show that even anger can play a vital role in evolving and growing closer together.
Take a listen now!
I share a story about a client who’s stuck in a cycle of resentment with their spouse. Resentments build because there’s a translation being made about the partner or the person you’re dating that makes you feel like you’re not allowed to be yourself, or like you’re giving too much, or that you’re being used or taken advantage of in some way.
That translation, however, could be true or not true. You don't know unless you understand what’s really happening within yourself first—whether you're feeling the resentment or receiving it. Once you share that, you can get curious about what’s happening on the other side.
I break this all down in this episode, and it’s oh-so-good. When you allow yourself to release the resentment you or your partner are carrying, AHHHH the feeling is soooo freeing. That’s when the love can flow again. Receiving that flow is what we all deeply desire.
Take a listen now.
One of the biggest reasons for conflict in a marriage is money. So, in this episode, I’m sharing with you a personal story about how my husband and I struggled with topics about money. I share a breakthrough conversation that we recently had that helped me own my worth, and had him understand he was leading with his ego when it came to money.
Take a listen.
I break down how my husband and I make it through rounds of conflict. He is more of the people pleaser type, not that I’m into labels, and I can even show up like that at times.
But I break down in this episode exactly how we make it through conflict, and how you can use the same techniques if you’re with a people pleasing type, or if you are the one that has more of the reactions my husband does.
In no way, do I think my husband is the problem here, just to be clear. I have so much that triggers me in our relationship that he has to help me work through.
This is just a scenario of how I navigate conflict with him. This episode is super insightful, and helps you understand what to ask for when in conflict with your partner.
Listen now.
Rejection is so HARD, no matter what form it comes in. It’s especially hard when you are rejected in the realm of love and romantic partnerships, often making you question everything about who you are. The heartache can easily make your head spin and your body ache.
In this episode, I share 3 tiers of rejection, why it really hurts, and the wisdom that emerged after a break up. I also share a lot of misnomers about how rejection and break ups should be handled.
Break ups take time, and we often judge ourselves for how long it takes. But if you look at deeper reasons behind the breakup, you can start to process your emotions more quickly
I also share about my personal break up with my husband, the realizations that got us through that break up and back together. Note: Getting back together, even if you so desperately want to, isn’t always the right path. It just happened to be a part of my love story.
Listen now!
Have you ever been on a date, with your partner, or a friend, and they say something that doesn’t quite match their actions? And it bothers you? Like, really bothers you?
Well, I was talking to a client of mine one day who is single and dating, and she was sharing how this happens to her a lot. For example, a guy will say he’s 6’1”, and IRL he’s 5’9”. That immediately makes her emotionally guarded, and has her even withdraw from getting to know someone. Rightfully so, but this consistently happens for her, where she feels the men she dates have this tendency.
She will keep dating them, to give them the benefit of the doubt, but she stays withdrawn. This only prolongs her feeling clear about what she feels about them. So, we dug deeper into her childhood to discover why that is and why she is withdrawing, versus asking the person why there’s this discrepancy to get more clarity for herself.
We discovered something that blew me away because in coaching her I also connected something for myself with the way I am with my husband—how I focus on the ways he might say one thing and do something different and why I start grilling him instead of withdrawing like my client. You’ll want to listen because this episode is definitely enlightening!
Listen now.
Are you starting to merge your life with your partner’s life? Are there kids involved? Is there moving involved? Is it scary because it feels like you’re leaving your old life behind, and you don’t want to lose yourself?
These are all very legit fears and worries. In this episode, I talk with my client Karimi, who has met someone that is her “pinch me” is this my partner kind of person. They are talking about marriage, moving in together where he lives, and having a baby, and although this is everything she has been wanting, she's scared that she will lose herself in the process.
We talk through what’s actually at the heart of this worry. Hint: it has to do with her parents' relationship. Listen to this episode now to coach yourself through your own fears in your relationship right now, as I coach Karimi through hers.
Do you feel like your partner’s priority is to defend and protect their parents over prioritizing you?
Meaning if you say something honest like, “I feel like your parents don’t get me?” or “I feel like your mom said X, and that really hurt,” that your partner, unknowingly, dismisses you by saying something like, “Oh she didn’t mean that.” or “They get you, it just feels like they don’t because they don’t express themselves to you.”
It can feel like at every turn of sharing your own hurt, that your partner gets defensive in some way, and that can be really frustrating.
In this episode, I share how important it is for both you and your partner to view your parents as human, which means completely flawed and amazing. This is what allows you to not take sides, and also build more intimacy with your partner.
Take a listen now.
If you’re still feeling some anxiety around an Ex, your heart still skips a beat when you see a post about them on social, or you walk past a place where you would often have lunch, and you can’t seem to shake this feeling of something is off, there’s a reason for that, and today’s episode is for you!
My client, Kara, wrote to me and said, “I hate to admit that I still feel something anytime I have an interaction with my Ex or his friends. Why is this still happening!?” In this conversation Kara, and I, unearth what has really been sitting inside of her heart about her Ex, something she did not expect at all. Something she hadn’t even admitted to herself. This was the key to really getting over him for her, and moving on in a super conscious way.
We also talk about anxiety, and what it’s really telling you, whether you're single and dating or in a partnership. There’s wisdom in that anxiety! Yes wisdom!
For some, conversations that create connection out in the world can feel really hard. Most people feel like they have to be pleasing, performative, or perfect, or some mix of all of those. And that pressure can stop you right in your tracks from actually creating connection with others.
This is how Bridget feels, watch me coach her through how she can get past that freeze moment before connecting with someone, and find the ROOT to why the freeze is happening in the first place.
Without getting to the root, we are flying blind.
Take a listen, especially if social interactions feel crunchy to you, and there’s some avoidance that shows up.
Shannon asked me a question. She asked, How does worth and desperation play out in relationships? She specifically wanted to know how her family system plays a role in her sense of worth and desperation.
This is a question I often get in different ways.
Because so many people come to me thinking that self-worth and self-love are essential to “attracting” their person, or really standing up for themselves in partnership. Like it’s a prerequisite. And I feel this is a big misnomer. There is way more nuance to it all.
I share in this episode, what IS essential to look at inside of ourselves in order to open ourselves up to a healthy, exciting, adoring, conscious partnership, or create one. Where two people choose each other fully, and are expressed within the relationship as it continues to evolve and grow.
Such a fun convo, listen now.
I share parts of myself that I’ve been shamed for, and how I have reclaimed those parts, and really embraced them for what they do for me and others.
We all have a lot of discomfort (pain & hurt) sitting inside of us, and that discomfort can either take hold of us and keep us hostage (often unknowingly), or we can turn to look at the discomfort, and see the wisdom it has to share with us.
In this episode you’ll uncover parts of yourself that you're unknowingly kicking out, which could be holding you back in relationships. You’ll also hear my opinion about manifesting, positive thinking, and what is really needed to cultivate powerful relationships.
Take a listen.
I sat down with my younger brother, Anand, to have a conversation about our relationship as siblings. If you’ve ever had a hard relationship with your sibling, this is a must watch episode.
We haven’t always liked each other, we used to fight all the time, and now he is one of my besties. We can share almost (some things he doesn’t want to hear;) anything with one another.
In this episode I shared a realization I had, through a self development course I took 12 years ago, that completely transformed our relationship.. I give you steps you can take to have what I call a “Clearing Conversation” with your sibling, which can help you both reconnect, and stay connected.
Take a listen.
Most think they need to create boundaries, especially in their relationship with their mom or dad (because those relationships are highly triggering). But I share how this can actually be damaging, and keep you from really understanding yourself and your parent.
In this episode I zero in on our relationship with our mom’s. I share a real example from my own life about how I don’t create boundaries with my mom, when she makes things about her, or needs to talk first, or needs me to take care of her, and it all feels like I have no space.
But instead, do what I share in this episode (too much to summarize), to help influence her and feel heard. Along with getting my needs met, and creating space for myself.
This is also a comment I got from someone on Youtube (Youtube link) to give you a sense of what else you could get out of this episode.
“I am a parent and what you said about forgetting how we felt as children when we were not treated kindly, lovingly, or with patience was a bomb! Thanks for that deep insight.”
Take a listen.
This episode felt really personal, and enlightening for me. My husband, Hemal and I share with you how over the last 16 years of our marriage, we have had many necessary up levels. Recently we went through one this past year.
Through it there’s been a lot of conflict. I truly believe no real up level, evolution, or change can occur without conflict, it’s just a part of it. Hemal and I share with you the behind the scenes of our conflict, and what has helped us breakthrough into way more understanding for one another. This level of connection, intimacy, and understanding is profound.
Even while creating this podcast with Hemal, I realized so much. Real, raw conversations with our partners create so much progress, when you know how to have them.
Take a listen.