Kelly and Geoff sit down with Brooke Summers Perry for a heartfelt talk about belonging while still becoming. Together they unpack the beauty of being “in process,” the myth of the finished self, and the quiet courage it takes to be seen before you’re polished.
Episode 17
In this conversation with Brenen Blair, founder of Ligaré Gatherings, Geoff and Kelly explore how intentional spaces help strangers become community. They talk about why belonging doesn’t happen by accident, the courage it takes to show up authentically, and how play, ritual, and curiosity can bridge modern disconnection.
In episode 16 of Blueprints for Belonging, Kelly and Geoff step into the garage — the space of overflow, hidden clutter, unfinished projects, and seasonal storage. Using the garage as a metaphor, they explore what happens when we keep parts of our lives walled off, how trust grows when we let someone see our “in-process” selves, and why hidden hazards can quietly erode relationships. The conversation highlights that empathy plus integrity equals respect, and that disconnection — when no one feels safe enough to open their garage — is more dangerous than a pandemic. Listeners are invited to reflect on what’s in their own garage and how making space can open the door to deeper belonging.
In episode 15 of Blueprints for Belonging, Geoff and Kelly explore two of the most overlooked but essential rooms in the “house of belonging”: the Kitchen and the Release Room. Kitchens remind us of the daily nourishment relationships require — small, steady acts of kindness, presence, and gratitude. The Release Room highlights the need for emotional hygiene — letting go of stress, judgments, and shame so they don’t leak into every other part of life. Together, nourishment and release keep connection livable. By sustaining gratitude for what we already have and practicing daily care, belonging grows stronger, steadier, and more human.
In episode 14 of Blueprints for Belonging, Geoff and Kelly continue their Architecture of Belonging mini-series by looking at two overlooked skills: choice and perspective. Using the simple image of doors and windows, they explore how everyday language often signals whether we feel trapped or free, closed or open. Closed doors sound like “I can’t, I have to” while open doors sound like “I’m choosing to, I’d prefer to.” Closed windows sound like “You’re wrong, that’s just the way it is” while open windows invite curiosity: “Tell me more, help me understand.” These patterns are often memes we’ve inherited without question, passed along in families and cultures. By noticing them and shifting our language, we open up both freedom and understanding — creating the conditions where real belonging can grow.
In Episode 13 of Blueprints for Belonging, Geoff and Kelly kick off their new mini-series, The Architecture of Belonging, by exploring the walls and roofs that make connection possible. Walls represent boundaries — not punishment or rejection, but clarity that supports trust and collaboration. Roofs symbolize safety — the protection that allows relationships to be livable and resilient. Through practical tools like clear, kind communication, NVC’s requests versus demands, and the improv principle of Yes, and, they show how boundaries can honor both self-care and connection. Using the BIG framework (Build Awareness, Investigate Meaning, Generate Choice), Kelly highlights how to spot patterns of judgment or fear and choose more supportive responses. The episode closes with a simple practice: notice one place to set a boundary in collaboration and one place to strengthen safety — and share what you discover with others
In this episode, we tell the true story of Qantas Flight 32, where five pilots worked together to land a severely damaged plane and save over 400 lives. We use this moment of collective clarity under pressure as a metaphor for what we often lack in daily communication. While they had training, systems, and support to navigate the crisis, most of us are flying blind in our conversations—without tools or awareness. We introduce the four common Nonviolent Communication disconnects that sabotage connection: diagnosing others, denial of responsibility, demands, and deserve thinking. We zoom in on deserve thinking, which Dr. Marshall Rosenberg called some of the most dangerous thinking we do. This mindset—believing someone deserves praise or punishment based on behavior—often leads to control, blame, and power struggles rather than honest connection. Throughout the episode, we reflect on how the BIG Growth framework helps us shift from judgment to choice, and from autopilot to awareness. Instead of crashing in blame or avoidance, we can land safely in clarity and connection.
In this episode, we explore the powerful role of personal and cultural narratives in shaping how we see ourselves, others, and the world. These stories, often mistaken for facts, are deeply rooted in upbringing, trauma, media, and inherited social memes. When left unexamined. they quietly dictate our relationships, reactions, and sense of identity. Kelly introduces the concept of memetic scripting, showing how these inherited beliefs pass down through generations like outdated software. Geoff brings in real-life examples of how old stories hijack present-day communication, especially in conflict or misunderstanding. Together, they unpack how judgements, assumptions, and past experiences edit our conversations before they even begin.Using Nonviolent Communication tools like OFNR and the practice of “re-storying”, this episode helps listeners become aware of their internal narratives and offers concrete tools for choosing which story to live within. Reclaiming the pen, they suggest, is essential to building connection, making conscious choices, and belonging to ourselves and each other.
In this episode, we explore what it really means to generate choice—and why it’s often harder than it sounds. We dig into the invisible memetic scripts that make us believe we don’t have a choice (“It’s just the way things are,” “I didn’t get to choose”), and show how autopilot behavior, judgment, and inherited expectations limit our agency. Judgment, in particular, becomes a clue—often signaling grief over choices we didn’t know we had. We talk about how to slow down, become more aware, and start practicing small, daily acts of conscious choice. Rather than a one-time decision, choice is framed as a skill we can strengthen with practice. Ultimately, reclaiming our ability to choose helps us build authentic connection and true belonging—not just compliance or performance.
In Episode 9, Kelly and Geoff explore how old stories—personal and cultural—can quietly run our lives. From memetic scripts like “That’s just how it is” to childhood narratives that still steer adult choices, they unpack how to spot these hidden authors and reclaim the pen. With help from Wayne Dyer’s “7 Faces of Intention,” this episode invites listeners to stop quoting outdated lines and start writing with intention, one conscious choice at a time.
Why do so many of our “requests” sound more like demands—and why does that matter? In this episode, we untangle the subtle but critical differences between asking and pressuring. We explore how cultural and familial memes like “Don’t be needy” or “I shouldn’t have to ask” sabotage honest communication, and how our tone, timing, and trust level often speak louder than our words. We discuss how inherited scripts and unexamined expectations can turn even simple requests into threats—shutting down connection instead of opening it. You'll learn the anatomy of a clean request, the impact of demand-language on the nervous system, and what to do when someone says no. We also offer practical tools to shift your language, soften your delivery, and communicate in ways that preserve dignity—for both you and the other person.
Episode 7 centers on the importance of human needs as the root of emotions and conflict. Kelly and Geoff explain that unmet needs—like respect, support, or clarity—drive our reactions, while met needs bring ease. They distinguish needs from strategies and show how emotional awareness can lead to more authentic communication. The episode prepares listeners to turn self-awareness into clear, respectful requests.
Episode 6 highlights feelings as vital signals of unmet needs, not weaknesses to avoid. Kelly and Geoff introduce emotional literacy, challenge cultural messages that dismiss emotions, and clarify the difference between real feelings and judgment-based “fauxlings.” This sets the stage for deeper connection through understanding needs.
In Episode 5 of Blueprints for Belonging, titled “Expectation: The Gateway Drug to Disappointment”, we explore how unspoken expectations quietly shape, and often sabotage, our relationships. Continuing the BIG Growth framework (Build awareness, Investigate meaning, Generate choice), this episode helps listeners recognize how expectations are not just future hopes, but memetic scripts we inherit and rarely examine. We discuss how these embedded assumptions set us up for miscommunication, disconnection, and resentment, especially when they go unmet. Drawing from logotherapy, we explain how we often assign meaning to a moment before it happens—and then feel disappointed when reality doesn’t align with our inner narrative. By surfacing these patterns, listeners gain the tools to differentiate between true needs and unexamined assumptions, allowing for more honest communication and the freedom to generate conscious choice in relationships.
In Episode 4 of Blueprints for Belonging, titled “I'm not defensive - you're just wrong” Kelly and Geoff explore how judgment often masquerades as protection but quietly blocks connection. They unpack how cultural patterns—called memetic structures—shape our reactions, and introduce tools like the OFNR model to help shift from judgment to understanding. With personal stories and practical insights, this episode invites listeners to notice where judgment shows up, reflect on what’s underneath, and begin choosing curiosity over reactivity.
In this episode, Kelly and Geoff unpack what Building awareness really means and why it’s the foundation for meaningful connection. We explore how going on autopilot in conversations keeps us stuck and how noticing our patterns, feelings, and body cues can open the door to curiosity and growth. Awareness isn’t about judging ourselves—it’s about becoming conscious of what’s happening inside us so we can stay grounded and connected with others, even when things get hard.
In this episode, Kelly and Geoff explore why talking isn’t the same as communicating, and how judgment often sneaks into our conversations as a survival strategy. We discuss how judgment and blame can feel protective when we’re uncomfortable or afraid, but often block the connection we truly want. We’re not here to eliminate judgment but to help you notice when it’s running the show, so you can become more conscious in your conversations and relationships.
In this first episode of Blueprints for Belonging, Kelly and Geoff share why they started this podcast and what it means to build real connection in a disconnected world. You’ll learn why belonging takes intention and practice, not just good intentions, and how learning communication skills can transform your relationships. Whether you’re seeking deeper family connection, healthier friendships, or more ease in community, this podcast will give you practical tools to start building belonging, one conversation at a time.
In this trailer, we introduce ourselves and why we decided to start this podcast. Please enjoy this 3 minute introduction and come back on Friday's for a new episode each week.