In episode 14 of Blueprints for Belonging, Geoff and Kelly continue their Architecture of Belonging mini-series by looking at two overlooked skills: choice and perspective. Using the simple image of doors and windows, they explore how everyday language often signals whether we feel trapped or free, closed or open. Closed doors sound like “I can’t, I have to” while open doors sound like “I’m choosing to, I’d prefer to.” Closed windows sound like “You’re wrong, that’s just the way it is” while open windows invite curiosity: “Tell me more, help me understand.” These patterns are often memes we’ve inherited without question, passed along in families and cultures. By noticing them and shifting our language, we open up both freedom and understanding — creating the conditions where real belonging can grow.