Still traumatized over an angry explosion she’d aimed at an abusive leader years before, a leader asks her coach to help her access healthy assertion to use during moments of conflict. Where are you on the assertion scale? Our assessments will tell you. In the episode, ASSERTION got divided into two skills: AWARENESS and EXPRESSION. The four-step script to build healthy ASSERTION is: SituationFeelingWantOutcome Part of assertion is EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. Our tool defines ...

Convinced that participants need to engage in order to learn, a leader is discouraged after the cheerless rollout of her online learning program. She turns to her coach for help facilitating virtual groups. Tools in this episode: Tone-setting at the opening: Get people engaged by using the chat to think together;Get people engaged by thinking about how they will show up (ground rules);Ask: “How engaged do you want to be?” Rank 1 – 7 in chat. (#3 came from Michael Bungay Stanier who wrote...

Knowing she’s never been good with people, a leader seeks coaching to her deepen relationships in ways she can tolerate. Two ways to deepen workplace relationships: Matching & Curiosity 4 Ways to Match: Match Purpose Match Energy Match Conversations Match Vulnerability Express Curiosity by Asking Deep Questions Make sure your questions are open-endedInvite reflectionKeep the other person talking Answering questions powerfully is another way to deepen relationships...

A leader is losing credibility with her senior leaders. Her boss thinks she can turn it around by learning the sorting tool that transformed him as a communicator, so he brings in the coach who taught him. Sorting & Labeling! The grandaddy of all communication tools. If you can sort and label you will sound like a leader. The four steps in Sorting & Labeling: Use a headlineUse a numberLabel each numberTransition with clarity See it all for yourself in our free Sorting & Label...

A leader was given one goal for his coaching: improve how he answered questions. Knowing he struggled with this not only at work, but at home, he asked his coach for tools. Our free PDF shows the two scripts: one for closed-ended questions, one for open-ended. Download it here. Don’t assume you know why people ask what they ask. You don’t. Ever. The closed-ended script: Answer what’s askedMatch LengthCheck for understandingThen add your detailsNo mattress stuffing! I...

A leader suddenly hears how harshly she speaks to herself. Wanting help, she turns to her coach who gives her tools to build a practice of self-esteem. The three self-esteem practices are: Self-Acceptance: Practice being FOR yourselfSelf-Worth & Happiness: Practice saying, “I am worthy of being happy”Live in Reality: Practice acknowledging what is and what is not. Download our free Feeling Words Grid. The Tools bin with other free resources is here. Four ways to...

A coaching client wonders what elements need to be present for someone to appear ‘executive.’ Two executive coaches ponder this question and come up with five elements they deem essential.Categories in the archive to explore:Developing New BehaviorsExecutive PresencePerception – How You’re PerceivedSix episodes to dive into:189 - Don’t Take Anything Personally178 - Executive Presence – Three Pillars168 - Influence108 - Shouldering the Burden of Leadership23 - Speed of ThoughtDownload the Six ...

A senior leader, upset about having flubbed her reply to ‘Tell us about yourself’ during a high-stakes interview, talks with her coach about how to prepare for what she considers to be an incredibly stupid question. Categories in the archive to explore:Communication SkillsExecutive PresencePresentation SkillsSix episodes to dive into:34 - Keeping Repeated Materials Fresh77 - The Power of Rehearsal65 - Sorting & Labeling180 - Becoming Expert114 - Gravitas124 - Personal BrandingFor hel...

A chief officer had known for years he was an over talker. His CEO, desperate for improvement, gave him a coach. This episode highlights their first coaching conversation. Two mindsets from this episode:When you speak, have a destination in mind. Ask yourself: “What is my point exactly?” and “Why is this something they need to know?”Pay attention to your listeners. Respond to their interests.Ask yourself: “Does what I’m talking about right now help us get to the destination?” If not...

A vice-president gets kudos for likability but knocks for her inability to listen. With her coach, she talks about listening repeatedly. This episode features one of those conversations. The 3 listening mindsets:Listen to learnFeelings are naturalStay separateDownload the free multi-page learning tool about listening here. This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast archive:Communication SkillsManaging YourselfRelationship BuildingFive episodes you might listen to are:...

Battling perfectionism and anxiety, a leader asks her coach for help and learns a tool that helps her tame her terrors. This episode dovetails with many ideas in last month’s episode about Coaching versus Therapy.Tom talks about his own bout with anxiety and a near career-ending attack of nervousness in this episode from April. https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/mastering-nerves/Pixar’s Inside Out 2 has a powerful depiction of a 13-year-old girl suffering a full-blown anxiety attack....

Tired of feeling like a fraud, a leader searches for help down different paths. She and her coach talk about how coaching is, and is not, like therapy.The leader in this episode wrestles with feelings of being a fraud. Tom talks about three resources to help manage that feeling:“The Executive Impostor” Episode #176 of “The Look & Sound of Leadership”Self-Esteem at Work by Nathaniel Branden & Warren BennisThe Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire ShipmanAdditional tools to supp...

A leader and her coach discuss a three-step model for turning upward feedback into a learning conversation that might allow the boss to hear the message. This month’s coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver the feedback effectively? Download the free “Giving Upward Feedback” PDF.In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here’s the column he mentions.This episode...

Knowing she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals, an ambitious leader asks her coach what a good networking conversation actually sounds like.Resources for Building Your Networking SkillsLeverage the latest algorithm on LinkedIn with this research report.Coaching For Leaders podcast: “How to Grow Your Professional Network”Coaching For Leaders podcast: “Executive Presence with Your Elevator Speech”10 Rules for NetworkingLink to 10 Rules of Networking PDF in Essential Tools binSorting...

An ambitious leader knows she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals. But, to her, networking feels slimy, so she asks her coach for help. Some core concepts from this episode:The purpose of networking is to know people.Don’t target people. Nurture a relationship.Make networking 5% of your job every week.Networking makes you a more valuable employee.Show interest in the other person. No monologuing about yourself.Listen to Tom’s “Flow” and “Fall” stories on the Coaching Stories p...

Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned. Tom’s Top Three Ideas for Mastering Nerves:Celebrate Incremental ImprovementWrite Happy EndingsIgnore Your NervesHere is the clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkN0sPQ76E0Email Tom and tell him he’s crazy here.For Coaches! 2 Resources!1. Coaching Stories Podcast2. Executive Coaching Special I...

Angry at himself for continually putting others’ needs before his own, a leader turns to his coach for tools. He learns a new way to think and a behavior to try. Be in touch with Tom here.Listen to Tom’s conversations with Neha on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast here and here.Our Essential Tools bin has free resources to help you build your look and sound of leadership. G.W. Bailey’s imdb page is here.This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:For WomenManagi...

A vice president, struggling to control his team of artists, learns a technique for managing bad behavior from his coach. He likes it so much, he uses it with his high performers, too.The tool described in this episode is simple to understand but may take a bit of courage to implement.Courage can be taught. Brené Brown created her Dare to Lead course for exactly that purpose. Ready to build your courage? Reach out to us here. Find more resources to build your skills in the podcast archive. Se...

A leader is so furious with his self-absorbed boss, he considers quitting the company. He asks his coach to help him manage himself and defuse his triggers.In addition to the five strategies Tom talks about in this episode, there are lots more strategies in his conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching For Leaders “How to Deal with a Boss Who’s a Jerk.” Tom’s wide-ranging conversation with Josh Dittmer can be found here.Free tools to support your professional development are in our E...

Tired of losing to more savvy players, a leader seeks to decode the secrets of playing politics, focusing particularly on company culture. Download our free Political Style Chart here.“The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Looking for a transcript of the show? Read it here.More tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:For WomenPerception – how you perceive othersRelationship BuildingHere are five episodes to help develop you...