In Part 2 we continue our deep dive into the complex world of sex, relationships, and the taboos that shape them.
We explore what makes certain topics so charged, how our personal experiences influence what we consider “off-limits,” and why breaking taboos can lead to more honest and connected relationships.
💬 In this episode:
What Are the Biggest Taboos Around Sex & Relationships? We examine the issues people still hesitate to talk about — and how these silences affect connection and trust.
Personal Perspectives on Breaking Taboos - we share our own stories on what it means to confront stigma, challenge assumptions, and choose openness over secrecy.
Community Reflections - Drawing from listener and community feedback, we discuss the taboos that continue perpetuate — and why some conversations still feel risky to have, even in open-minded circles.
Why is Breaking Taboos Important ? Finally we explore why taboos should be broken and whether some taboos might serve a purpose — creating mystery, excitement, or deeper meaning — and how to balance curiosity with respect, consent, and intention.
It’s a thoughtful, candid conversation about where our edges come from, how they evolve, and why it’s worth questioning them in pursuit of deeper authenticity and connection.
✨ Catch us live!We will be at Booth 322 at the Toronto Taboo Show, October 17–19, 2025. We will be giving seminars Friday at 6:30 PM and Saturday at 8:30 PM on Non-Monogamy Essentials: Making it Secure, Satisfying, and Sexy!
📖 Episode Chapters:
00:00 — Breaking Taboos in Sex and Relationships
05:20 — Exploring Non-Monogamy and Its Misunderstandings
10:48 — Personal Experiences with Sexuality and Openness
16:37 — Addressing Common Taboos and Myths in Non-Monogamy
25:08 — Navigating Relationship Taboos
29:14 — The Complexity of Secret Partners
31:55 — Reprioritizing Partners in Non-Monogamy
36:21 — Challenging Myths About Polyamory
38:58 — Sexual Health and Multiple Partners
40:40 — Consent and Altered States
41:43 — The Pressure of “Best” Sex
44:11 — The Importance of Breaking Taboos
Show Resources:
In this episode, Tara sits down with Darryl Rosengreen, VP of Marketing and Promotion—and one of the owners—of The Taboo Show, to explore breaking taboos in sex and relationships.
Together, they talk about how events like The Taboo Show create safe, inclusive spaces for people to learn, explore, and get curious about sexuality, kink, and relationships. Tara and Darryl share how these environments can inspire conversations you may not have had before—or didn’t know how to start—and help normalize talking about sex, sexuality, and intimacy in fun and educational ways.
💬 In this episode:
✨ Catch us live at Taboo!T&A will be at Booth 322 at the Toronto Taboo Show, October 17–19, 2025.
We'll also be speaking on Friday at 6:30 PM and Saturday at 8:30 PM on Non-Monogamy Essentials: Making it Secure, Satisfying, and Sexy!
🎟️ We’re also doing a draw for free tickets to the show! Enter at https://events.letstalkpolyamory.com/taboo2025draw before October 12 for your chance to win.
📖 Episode Chapters:00:00 — Introduction to Taboo Topics in Relationships03:46 — Exploring Taboos in Sex and Relationships07:56 — The Taboo Show Experience13:51 — Breaking Down Taboos Around Sex 16:46 — Advice for First-Time Attendees
Show Resources:
We’re back with another episode in our T&A Alphabet Series—where we explore the big topics around non-monogamy, relationships, and sex, one letter at a time. These episodes were originally live trainings in our Let’s Talk Polyamory private Facebook group, and over the past year we’ve been releasing them onto podcast platforms.
At the very start of Season 1, we shared L is for 5 Steps From Limitations to Liberation. Now, we’re circling back with a brand-new episode—because “L” deserves way more LOVE.
In this episode, we dive into a lineup of L’s: Lube, Libido, Latex, Lingerie, Love, Lies, Lust vs. Longing, Layering, Lifestyle, Leather, and Labia.
We take a playful and practical approach to breaking these down, sharing our own personal stories and examples from our work.
You’ll hear why lube is a game-changer (at any age), what lingerie really means (and if men have it too), and how destructive communication like layering sneaks into relationships.
We also dive deeper into libido and desire — what spontaneous vs. responsive desire actually looks like, how libido shifts over time, and what to do when there’s a mismatch in your relationship. Spoiler: it’s not all about “fixing” it — it’s about planning ahead, knowing mismatches are inevitable at some point, and building the communication skills to talk about it openly when it happens.
Join us for a mix of humour, honesty, and depth in exploring love, sex, and polyamory!
Show Resources:
We’re back with our T&A Alphabet Series! These episodes were originally live trainings in our Let’s Talk Polyamory private Facebook group. Over the last few months, we’ve been uploading them onto podcast platforms, but this time we’re bringing you a brand new episode.
Today’s episode is all about the letter K! We bring you: K is for Kink, Kitchen Table Polyamory & Kissing + Other K Words
Here’s what we cover in this episode:
And a few others! We also slide in some other topics like vetos, consent, communication, poly-saturated, metamours and more!
What did we miss? Let us know in the comments!
✨ Bonus: We’re also linking our original K is for Kink talk in the show notes, where we go much deeper into all things kink, including how to get started if you’re curious.
Want more? Sign up to be the first to know when our Little Book of Poly Love is released—a pocket-sized guide to the words and wisdom that make relationships work. https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/polylovebook-waitlist
Show Resources:
Do labels in non-monogamy give you clarity—or do they feel like a box you don’t want to fit into?
Labels in non-monogamy—love them or hate them, they’re everywhere. For some people, labels bring clarity and a sense of belonging. For others, they feel restrictive or unnecessary. The truth? Whether labels are important is a personal choice.
In this short but powerful episode from our Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook group archives (saved before Facebook removed all group livestreams), we explore the role of labels in consensual non-monogamy and ask: What’s right for me?
We start with the basics:✅ What do labels actually mean, and why do some people use them?✅ Introducing GSERD—Gender, Sexual, Erotic, Relational Diversity—as one way of identifying yourself.✅ A high-level overview of Jessica Fern’s Styles of Non-Monogamy diagram, which maps different relationship styles onto quadrants of high-to-low sexual and emotional exclusivity—and how you can use it to explore what feels right for you. (For a deeper dive into these styles, check out S1, Episode 7: How We Love: What Style of Non-Monogamy is Right for Me? episode.)
From there, we talk about:✅ Deciding what labels (if any) align with your values and relationships✅ What you’d like your partners to call you—whether that’s boyfriend, girlfriend, boo, FWB, or something entirely your own
✨ If you haven’t already, download our free worksheet—What Style of Consensual Non-Monogamy is Right for Me?—which includes Jessica Fern’s diagram and reflection prompts to help you map out your own place on the spectrum. Get it here: https://worksheet.letstalkpolyamory.com/cnmstyle
Other Show Resources:
We’re continuing our summer 🚗 road trip through the Gaspésie in Quebec and into the Maritime provinces—New Brunswick, Nova Scotia (including Cape Breton), and Prince Edward Island and it's been beyond what we ever imagined!
We've discovered parts of 🇨🇦 Canada we hadn’t visited before, and, using the Home Exchange platform has not only saved us money ($0 for accommodations using points earned from others staying in our homes) but has allowed us to stay in some pretty awesome places and meet really great people along the way! Link in the the show resources to find out more and get a bonus 250pts when signing up!
As we travel, we’re recording these bite-sized Carversations just for you!
In this episode, we dive into a question that comes up often in relationships: Can love be repaired?
We explore what conditions need to be present for real repair to happen—like willingness from both partners, acknowledgment of what has happened, and the ability to take responsibility for our part.
We talk about how different factors may influence whether repair is possible: loss of trust or an egregious action, attachment styles, misaligned values, or differing visions for the future (such as whether or not to live together).
We also dig into why “determination” alone isn’t enough, and how time—or even taking breaks—can sometimes play a role in the repair process (and yes, we have a healthy debate about this!).
Along the way, we highlight the importance of reflection, honest communication, and taking concrete action toward change—not just talking about it.
We’d love to hear from you, too—have you ever had to repair a relationship? What did you do, did it work (or not), and what advice would you share with others? Share your thoughts in the comments on this episode, answer the poll or join the discussion in our Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group.
We refer to our 36 Questions episode and recommend that you listen to it and download our free resources which both the original 36 questions plus our 36 additional ones. Links below.
And if you’re in the middle of trying to repair a relationship and want support, we’ve got you covered:
Book a therapy consultation call with André - mailto: andreturcottepsych@gmailcom
Book a Pay What You Can Coaching Call with Tara - https://go.taraandandre.com/pwyccoachingsession
Since we were recording on the road, the sound isn’t studio-perfect—there was a bit of background noise and static we did our best to fix—but we hope you’ll still find this Carversation practical and helpful.
Show Resources:
Sometimes the best place for a relationship check-in isn’t over coffee or at the kitchen table—it’s in the car, somewhere between snack stops and scenic views. 🚗✨
We’re continuing our summer road trip through the Gaspésie in Quebec and into the Maritimes, and along the way we’re recording these bite-sized Carversations.
In this episode, we share two different versions of relationship check-ins you can try, including the RAADAR Method—originally from the Multiamory Podcast but with our own extra “A”. RAADAR stands for Review, Agenda, Affirm & Connect (our add-on), Discussion, Actions, and Reconnect - a practice we teach to our clients and in our Poly Newbies Digital Course - which helps keep these reviews structured, connected, and productive.
We also share a few easy starter questions you can use for your next road trip check-in, and we get personal by answering them ourselves:
How are you feeling in the relationship right now?
Any wins or highlights lately?
Anything you’re struggling with or that needs more attention?
Anything you’re excited about coming up?
🎧 Heads up: This episode was recorded on the road, so you’ll hear a bit of “road trip ambiance” in the background—consider it part of the experience!
💬 We’d love to hear your ideas!
Join the conversation in the episode comments or in our Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook group.
Show Resources:
It’s summertime in 🇨🇦Canada, and we’re on a road trip adventure! Following the gorgeous Route 132 along the St. Lawrence in Gaspésie, Quebec, and winding our way into the Maritimes, we’re discovering more of this big, beautiful country… and, as we do we end up having plenty of short, topical chats from the car. Or as we like to call them—Carversations which we've decide to share with you!
Our first Carversation? Travelling While Polyamorous or Openly Non-Monogamous!
In this episode, we dive into:🚗 Choosing destinations that fit your vibe💖 Finding community wherever you roam
🌈LGBTQIA+ travel⚡️ Doing your pre-trip research🧳 Solo poly travel tips🛠 Special travel considerations
🔥General hot tips for any travel - like downloading Google offline maps + eSIM cards
…and more!
🎧 Heads up: This episode was recorded while driving, so you’ll hear a little road trip ambiance in the background. We used microphones and cleaned up the audio as much as possible—consider it part of the travel experience.
In this episode we refer to our T&A Sex Clubs, Lifestyle Destinations and Communities Around the World—a community-sourced guide where you can add clubs or destinations you’ve visited, along with insider tips (think special features, facilities, or what makes them unique). If you’ve got a recommendation, we’d love to hear it! You can also add local community groups or organizations that are poly-friendly! Link below!
Show Resources:
In this episode we’re digging into the archives to bring you a conversation that originally aired live in our Let’s Talk Polyamory private Facebook group. Since Facebook now only stores live videos for 30 days, we’re working behind the scenes to download and share some of those gems here on the podcast.
In this episode, we dive into a question we hear all the time: How do I attract (and keep) better poly partners?
Whether you’re new to non-monogamy or have been dating for a while, this episode is full of insight, real stories, and practical tools. We talk about:
We also share how our Securely Polyamorous Framework—which we teach in our course and coaching program—applies directly to dating and the process of meeting and keeping great partners. We explore things like communication attunement, knowing what you want, setting personal boundaries, creating values-based agreements and nurturing connections that are built to last.
And if you’ve ever found yourself attracting people who aren’t a fit (or who vanish after a great first date), we talk about the unconscious ways that might be happening—and what you can do to shift it.
🎁 BONUS! This week, we’re sharing our Online Dating Guide which includes:✅ A list of our favourite dating sites for non-monogamous folks✅ Tips for writing a standout profile✅ An online dating checklist✅ Links to related trainings and podcasts👉Download it for free here: https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/onlinedatingguide
💬 Want to connect with others who get it? Join our private Facebook group:🔗 https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpolyamory
⚡️ Curious about Coaching? Sign up for a Pay What You Can Coaching Call with Tara at:
🔗 https://go.taraandandre.com/pwyccoachingsession
⚡️Looking for Therapy? Book a complimentary therapy consultation with André Turcotte at https://book.a-psych-online.com/therapyconsultation
✨You can also explore other ways to work with us as well as access other great resources at:🔗 https://www.taraandandre.com
At the time of recording this episode, it’s the Week of Visibility for Non-Monogamy — July 7–13, 2025. This global campaign and week of action, created by Open Love NY, celebrates the many ways people love, connect, and relate outside of monogamy—including polyamory, open relationships, relationship anarchy, swinging, and more.
The Week of Visibility exists to:
In this episode, we explore what it means to be visible as people who practice consensual non-monogamy. We reflect on our own experiences around coming out—Tara shares in detail what it was like to come out as non-monogamous to her family, why it mattered, how we prepared, what happened, and how it’s going now. André shares about coming out to his mother—and her openness to the idea and her love.
We also walk through each day’s theme from the Week of Visibility: History & Culture, Identity & Inclusion, Myths & Misconceptions, Public & Private, Law & Advocacy, and Integration & Reflection.
For each, we offer personal reflections and suggest actions you can take to explore what visibility looks like for you—whether that means being out and proud, private and processing, or somewhere in between.
💜 IMPORTANT NOTE:We’re offering visibility as an invitation, not a prescription.Visibility is powerful—but it’s not always accessible or safe. You are allowed to choose what’s right for you.
🔗 Mentioned in the Show:
📝 Connect with Us
We’re Tara & André—coaches, educators, and polyamory advocates helping people create secure, satisfying, and sexy non-monogamous relationships.
📱 Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/taraandandre/
⚡️ TikTok →https://www.tiktok.com/@letstalkpolyamory
🌐 Learn more about our programs and services or book a consultation call → https://www.taraandandre.com
Feeling disconnected or depleted in your long-term relationship while totally lit up by someone new? You're not broken—and neither is your relationship. This is a natural progression of relationships, but it doesn't have to be the death knell!
In this episode of the Let’s Talk Polyamory Podcast, we explore what happens when burnout shows up in your long-term relationship—often the one where you share a home, kids, responsibilities or calendar—while you’re riding the high of New Relationship Energy (NRE) somewhere else. Inspired by a recent CNN article and relationship expert Esther Perel’s insights, we unpack the real causes of burnout: emotional labor, domestic imbalance, identity loss, over-functioning, and the exhaustion of being the constant container for your partner’s emotions.
We also share our own personal stories about what helps us keep our long-term relationship feeling playful, connected, and fresh—even while managing real-life stressors.
From RAADAR Relationship Reviews and quality time rituals, to creating intentional transitions around new connections, we’ll walk you through practical ways to rekindle the energy you crave—including simple habits backed by research, like the Gottmans’ 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions that helps relationships stay strong and emotionally resilient.
In this episode, we cover:💡 What burnout really looks like in long-term relationships🧯 The top causes of relationship fatigue (hint: it’s not just about desire)💘 Why NRE feels so good—and how to channel that energy intentionally into other relationship🛠️ Tools for making LRE feel exciting again (without pretending it’s brand new)👫 Our own practices for keeping long-term love feeling alive
💌 Ready for deeper support? Check out our Poly Newbies Digital Course or join us in the next round of our Polyamory Mastery Program. Links in the show resources below👇
Show Resources:
Re-released in honour of Toronto Pride!
June is 🏳️🌈Pride Month in many parts of the world, including here in Toronto, where we've proudly participated in both official and unofficial Pride events over the years—including walking in the parade.
One question that often sparks lively debate is: Should relational identities like polyamory be included in Pride?
Some argue that Pride is about celebrating sexual and gender identities, and that polyamory and other relational identities don't belong under that umbrella.
Others believe that polyamory is a valid identity that deserves visibility—especially when legal recognition, social support, and relationship rights are still lacking.
In this episode, we make an intentional effort to explore both sides of this discussion—sharing different perspectives on where polyamory fits within the broader 2SLGBTQIA+ movement. We also touch on the history of how Pride began and the deeper roots of what this celebration represents.
We’re revisiting a conversation originally recorded in our private Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook group. At the time, we had been running our weekly livestream series Mondays with Tara and André there —something we started during the pandemic as a way to stay connected, offer support, and spark real conversations. You’ll hear us share a little bit about how that came to be at the beginning of the episode.
This particular livestream was recorded just before the 2022 Toronto Pride Parade, when we organized a walking float with members of our community. We did it again in 2023, that time in collaboration with Polyamorous Living Toronto!
⭐️ The sound and video quality isn’t studio-perfect (neither are we!), but we’ve done our best to clean it up. We hope this episode sparks meaningful dialogue—because that’s what Pride is all about.
Let us know in the Comments what you think:
Should polyamory be part of Pride celebrations?
And share your PRIDE stories and photos in our Let's Talk Polyamory group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly
Show Resources:
In 1997, psychologists Arthur Aron and Elaine Aron published the results of a study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin exploring how emotional intimacy between strangers could be accelerated through structured vulnerability. Their method? A series of 36 questions, divided into three sets that become increasingly personal—and it worked.
The list became more widely known in 2015 when writer Mandy Len Catron shared her experience with the questions in her viral New York Times article, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This.” She tried the questions herself—and fell in love.
But what happens after you fall in love?
We recently revisited the original 36 questions as a couple, and while we loved the experience, we felt there were some essential conversations these questions didn't cover, especially if you’re planning to live together, share a life, or deepen a long-term relationship .
The result...our own follow-up list: The Other 36 Questions You Need to Ask to Stay in Love
These are questions we believe every couple (or triad, or quad!) should ask—regardless of how you identify across the spectrum of monogamy to non-monogamy.
Here’s what we felt was missing—and what we intentionally added:
🩺 Health & Safety: Physical and emotional safety, mental health, STI conversations, trauma history, and comfort with firearms in the home.
💰 Money & Lifestyle: Attitudes toward debt, sharing finances, who pays for what, and what fairness looks like.
💬 Communication & Conflict: Not just can you talk about hard things—but how you do it.
❤️ Relationships, Intimacy & Vulnerability: Relationship style, love languages, attachment and honest
💋 Sex, Desire & Kinks: Real talk about pleasure, fantasy, limits, and how sexuality evolves over time.
🏡 Habits & Everyday Stuff: Morning routines, animals in bed, bodily quirks.
👨👩👧👦 Family & Culture: Navigating traditions, holidays and family
🌍 Life Experience & Growth: Travel, independence, firsts, and life lessons as a lens for compatibility.
In this episode, we share our experience answering the original 36 questions together, highlight a few of our favourite prompts and how we answered them, and introduce you to our full list of additions—including why we believe they matter!
📝 Free Resource: We created a downloadable one-pager with all 72 questions—the original 36 plus our “Other 36”—grouped by theme, so you can explore them at your own pace.
https://worksheet.letstalkpolyamory.com/36plus36questions
Whether you're starting something new or rekindling a long-term relationship, these questions are a powerful way to build deeper intimacy, open honest conversations, and get to know your partner(s) on a whole new level.
Show Resources:
Jealousy… no one wants to feel it, and many of us hope if we ignore it, it’ll just go away. But like going to the dentist, it’s something that’s good for you—and like a cavity, jealousy has to be addressed.
This episode is part of our T&A Alphabet Series, where we explore the big topics around non-monogamy, relationships, and sex—one letter at a time. Originally broadcast as a live training in our Let’s Talk Polyamory private Facebook community, we bring you J is for Jealousy!
Whether you like it or not, you’re going to encounter jealousy—your own or someone else’s. How will you be affected by it? How will you handle it? That’s what we’re exploring in this conversation.
We talk about what jealousy really is, and the deeper emotions that often fuel it—like insecurity, fear, lack of safety, and uncertainty. We might sense a threat that our partner could be “taken” from us, and that fear can lead to reactive behaviors that don’t serve us or our relationships.
We also offer practical guidance for working through jealousy, including 7 strategies to shift your mindset, communicate better, and reconnect with what’s good in your relationship—rather than clinging tightly or spiralling into worst-case scenarios.
And we remind you: jealousy isn’t all bad. It’s an internal alert system. It means there’s something worth paying attention to.
This episode touches on one of the core modules of our Polyamory Mastery program—our deep dive signature group coaching experience for people ready to create secure, satisfying, and sexy non-monogamous relationships. We’ll be running a small-group spring cohort. If you’re interested, reach out to tara@hello.taraandandre.com and visit taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery for more details on the program.
Show Resources:
Almost a year ago and just shy of 7 years of being together, we made a decision to de-escalate our non-monogamous relationship. It was met with a lot of questions and concerns from close friends and family - are you breaking up? Do you no longer love each other etc. We even released a special podcast on this topic - (S1. Ep 16) Is It Time To Deescalate My Relationship - and yet there were still some skeptics!
And now, over 365 days later, reflecting on this experience, we know it was the absolute right decision for us (even though there were some tough spots to navigate) and has in fact strengthened our connection!
In this deeply personal episode we catch you up on what prompted the decision, how we felt at the time, how it went and how things are now!
We also review what de-escalation means and how it differs from breaking up, and the types of situations that might prompt this kind of change in a relationship.
And for those who don’t intend on de-escalating, or stop living together, we share examples of how you can breathe more life into your relationships by spending intentional time together and creating space and time to restore your own independence.
Exciting news: As we announced in this episode we are considering running a Spring cohort of our Polyamory Mastery group coaching program—but we need at least 5 couples (or individuals) to commit to make it happen.
This is our deeper dive group coaching experience for people who are looking for real transformation, and support that actually makes a difference in creating secure, satisfying and sexy non monogamous relationships!
This program includes:
You can find out more about the program here - https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery and to apply, drop us an email at tara@hello.taraandandre.com.
To get a bit of background on where we were when we decided to do this we suggest you catch up on the podcast we recorded and listen to our Poly Diaries journal entries from last year! See links in the show resources below.
Show Resources:
We’re back with another episode in our T&A Alphabet Series, where we explore the big topics around non-monogamy, relationships, and sex—one letter at a time. Originally broadcast as a live training in our Let’s Talk Polyamory private Facebook community, this episode is all about the letter I: I is for Insecurity and the 3 Things You Can Do to Feel More Secure.
Insecurity can show up as self-doubt, anxiety, or the sense that you're vulnerable to harm or rejection. In open or polyamorous relationships, it often feels like living on high alert—waiting for the next fire to put out.
In this episode, we dig into the connection between insecurity and jealousy, and share three key practices to help you feel more grounded and secure:
We also explore:
If jealousy and insecurity are keeping you from feeling at ease in your consensually non-monogamous relationships, check out our self-paced Poly Newbies Digital Course https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiescourse or go deeper with our Open Relationship and Polyamory Mastery - https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery - program, which includes live coaching with us.
Show Resources:
Non-monogamous relationships can offer joy, freedom, and deep connection—but they can also stir up intense emotional waves.
In honour of Mental Health Week in Canada, this heartfelt and practical episode explores what it really looks like to care for your mental health while navigating non-monogamy.
Whether you're facing overwhelm, burnout, comparison, or jealousy—or just want to feel less alone—this conversation is for you.
In this episode we cover:
💛 Special episode resource: Non-Monogamy and Your Mental Health: Worksheet + Action Planning Guide — a free tool to help you reflect, reset, and take practical steps toward improving your mental health and your relationships! Get it here 👇 https://worksheet.letstalkpolyamory.com/mentalhealthworksheet
This episode is your reminder: struggling doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong—it means you’re human. Seeking support is a sign of strength.
Please share this episode with someone who might need it.
If you’re considering self-harm or harming others, please reach out to a local crisis line, call 911, or go to the nearest emergency room. You are not alone.
Show Resources:
You’ve opened up your relationship or decided to explore non-monogamy, and at first, you’re excited — until BOOM — you're hit with a wave of feelings: jealousy, insecurity, anger, hurt...
You pump the brakes and set up rules to try to protect yourself and your partners from all this discomfort.
But it doesn’t work.
The rules feel punitive, like you're on a leash (and not the fun, kinky kind), and you're still overwhelmed with emotions.
In this episode, we’re talking about the difference between rules, boundaries, and agreements — and why shifting from punitive rules to collaborative agreements is the real key to feeling secure.
We introduce the Values-Based Agreement™ Model we developed and teach our clients, and share what it looks like in our own relationship!
We also dive into:
As a bonus, we also dig into communication tools like active listening, plus tips for dealing with feedback, criticisms, and resentments — all key skills for creating stronger, more resilient relationships.
It’s a jam-packed episode full of practical tools, real talk, and real-world examples!
✨ If you want to dive even deeper into boundaries, check out our episode: Pardon Me But You’re Stepping On My Boundaries
Show Resources:
We’re back with another episode in our T&A Alphabet Series, where we tackle big topics around non-monogamy, relationships, and sex — one letter at a time. Originally broadcast as a live training in our Let’s Talk Polyamory private Facebook Community, this episode is all about the letter H - H is for Sexual HEALTH and HAIR!
While it can be an uncomfortable subject for some (at least until you get used to it), being open about sexual health and regular testing is crucial — especially when you have multiple sexual partners. For us, getting tested regularly has become a badge of honour, not something to be embarrassed about.
In this episode, we break down the difference between an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) and an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection), and why the shift in terminology matters. We talk about removing the stigma around testing, STIs, and sexuality — and how to navigate those conversations with partners in a way that’s honest, caring, and responsible.
We share the kinds of tests you should ask for (because not everything is included by default), and discuss ways to reduce or prevent the incidence of STIs. Yes, we talk about condoms and barriers — but also about vaccines (like HPV and Hepatitis), rinsing your mouth and washing your hands between partners, and even bringing our own safer sex kits to parties and clubs.
And then we shift gears — but stay close to the skin — with a chat about HAIR ... especially the hair down there. We unpack how history, pop culture and media have influenced how we feel about hair, and how that connects to our sense of self, body image, self-worth, and how we show up in intimate moments.
Some people love it, some hate it, some wax it, some grow it — and some braid it if they’re feeling fancy. Whatever your vibe, we’re here to say: there’s no “right” way to be hairy… or not. What matters is choice, consent, and comfort — just like every other part of your sexuality.
Oh — and yes, we throw in a few bonus “H” words along the way. 😉
As always, there’s some laughter, some real talk, and important info for anyone who is sexually active — no matter your relationship style.
Show Resources:
You know that feeling when you get a new car? It’s shiny, exciting, full of possibilities—and your imagination runs wild. But then reality hits: taxes, car payments, insurance, maintenance… and suddenly, the fantasy doesn’t quite match the day-to-day.
Opening up a monogamous relationship can feel the same way. The excitement of exploring non-monogamy can cause folx to skip over some crucial steps—only to find themselves overwhelmed or unprepared.
In this episode, we break down three essential things to do before (or even after) you start dating others:
Determine your ideal relationship style, what you value, and your personal boundariesGet clear on what works for you based on your needs for emotional and sexual exclusivity, your core values, and the limits that help you feel secure.
Have essential conversations with your partner(s)Talk about what you each want, share boundaries, co-create what works for you as a unit, and build a Values-Based Agreement™ to guide you forward.
Check in regularly and revisit your agreementsKeep communication open and honest as things evolve. Your relationship is a living thing—it needs maintenance to thrive.
Whether you're just beginning your journey or already navigating the waves of non-monogamy, these steps can help prevent common pitfalls and keep your connection strong.
Think of our Poly Newbies Digital Course as the “insurance policy” for your open relationship journey. And if you’ve already hit a few bumps in the road, it’s the perfect tune-up to get you back on track. Find out more here - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer
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