Avoiding painful emotions from childhood—like anger, helplessness, or shame—often recreates them in our closest relationships. Through real examples and concepts like introjection and projection (drawing from experts such as Nancy McWilliams and Otto Kernberg), discover how these defense mechanisms keep toxic cycles alive and learn a hopeful path to freedom by owning and integrating those feelings. Ideal for anyone tired of repeating relational patterns and ready for deeper emotional healing.
#Psychology #MentalHealth #Relationships #EmotionalHealing
Chapters:
00:00:00 Introduction: The Cost of Avoiding Pain
00:02:24 Why Avoidance Recreates Pain
00:04:03 Introjection: Internalizing the Critic
00:07:32 Projection: Attributing to Others
00:12:19 The Hopeful Path: Owning Your Pain for Freedom
Find a Therapist That's Right For You
Dr. Rose So explores the complexities of the Asian American experience in therapy, highlighting cultural nuances, emotional expression, and the expectations of both clients and their families. The discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding these cultural contexts to bridge gaps in therapy and promote mental well-being.
Takeaways
Chapters
00:00 Understanding the Asian American Experience in Therapy
03:06 Cultural Nuances and Expectations in Therapy
05:54 The Role of Emotions in Asian American Culture
09:02 Parental Expectations and Therapy Outcomes
11:56 Bridging Cultural Gaps in Therapy
14:49 The Importance of Mental Well-Being
17:51 Historical Context and Its Impact on Therapy
20:42 Navigating Cultural Differences in Therapy
23:46 The Therapist's Role in Client Relationships
26:47 Conclusion and Reflections on Therapy
Trauma is the way our brains hold on to past negative environments. Trauma therapist McKenzie Laird dives into the brain science of trauma, revealing what it is, how it reshapes your mind, and the five key ways it alters your brain. This video also guides you through the healing process, showing why patience matters and how to spot progress along the way.
McKenzie offers practical steps to start healing. Join us as we explore:
If you’re ready to break free from the past and reclaim your life, this video is your first step. Watch now to gain insights and begin your journey toward peace.
Chapters
More about McKenzie Laird, AMFT
Dan Humphrey, a board-certified neurologic physical therapist at Casa Colina, shares insights on treating stroke, spinal cord injury, and traumatic brain injury. Explore neuroplasticity, functional neurologic disorders, and the mind-body connection in rehabilitation. Learn how personalized goals, virtual reality research, and jiu-jitsu-inspired problem-solving empower patients to regain independence.
“We’re really relying on the neuroplasticity of the brain, the ability of the brain to change. And so that would involve teaching them new patterns, teaching them new strategies, and helping their brain work around whatever that injury is.”
Timestamps:
Here Counseling
Trauma, Somatic, and Couples Therapy in Pasadena and Los Angeles
Who is EMDR good for? What does an EMDR therapy session look like? Whether you're seeking relief from past trauma, curious about innovative mental health solutions, or eager to understand how this evidence-based method works, this video delivers all the answers you need. Join a trained EMDR therapist as he breaks down the essentials with expert insights, including:
This video is your essential guide to gaining clarity, confidence, and a deeper understanding of EMDR therapy’s life-changing possibilities.
0:00 - Introduction to EMDR FAQs
0:15 - Who is EMDR Good For?
2:07 - Can EMDR Help with PTSD?
3:27 - Is EMDR Evidence-Based?
4:50 - How EMDR Helps with PTSD Symptoms
6:46 - Who Should Avoid EMDR?
9:36 - Which Issue Do You Focus on First?
11:46 - Processing the Worst Memory
13:56 - What Does an EMDR Session Look Like?
17:28 - What Bilateral Stimulation Feels Like
21:05 - Is EMDR Like Brain Spotting or Hypnosis?
24:56 - The Structured Power of EMDR
25:46 - Closing Thoughts
View EMDR Therapists in Pasadena
Here Counseling
Trauma, Couples, and Somatic Therapy
Discover how Lindsay Mitchell, founder of Vital-Side, turned her struggle with chronic Lyme disease into a powerful journey of healing by unlocking the brain’s remarkable ability to restore physical health. Frustrated by the limits of Western medicine, she reveals why emotional healing is the missing piece in chronic illness recovery. Learn how embracing personal responsibility and the mind-body connection can empower you to take charge of your wellness. This episode dives into the surprising ways stress impacts gut health and why community support is a game-changer for healing. If you’re battling chronic pain or seeking holistic health solutions, Lindsay’s insights on brain retraining and nervous system regulation offer hope and practical steps forward.
Dr. Connor McClenahan is the director of Here Counseling, a group private practice in Los Angeles and Pasadena. Connor has a background in psychoanalytic theory and interpersonal neurobiology.
Chapters
Vital Side
Retrain your Brain with Vital-Side
Get 1 month of FREE access to Reset Intro Course
Here Counseling
See Our therapists for Trauma, Somatic Issues, and Couples
Trauma can feel like a heavy shadow, but why does it linger for some and lift for others? In this episode, Dr. Connor McClenahan, a licensed clinical psychologist, explains how trauma isn’t just an event—it’s a “template” that shapes how we see the world. As he shares, “Trauma is this idea that there are scary things that happen to us, and that these scary things form a template in your mind… to try to anticipate something similar happening again.” Yet, there’s hope: “The good news is that your mind is made to heal.” This conversation offers a compassionate look at why trauma affects us differently and how we can find our way back to wholeness.
From flashbacks to hypervigilance, trauma’s symptoms can feel overwhelming, but their intensity varies widely. Dr. McClenahan introduces allostatic load—the balance between stress and support—to explain why. A kind friend, a trusted therapist, or inner strength can make all the difference. He also explores the brain’s role, noting, “There’s a natural process that your mind is looking to enter into, to help it repair and heal that memory so that you can move forward.” By sharing our pain in a safe space, we transform chaos into clarity, a process he describes with care: “When we can understand that emotion not as something we need to suppress, but it’s something we need to express… so that we can heal.”
Healing is about weaving our experiences into a story of resilience, and Dr. McClenahan’s insights light the way. He asks, “The main difference that exists between people who recover from trauma and people who don’t”—and answers with the power of connection and courage. As the owner of Here Counseling, a group private practice in Pasadena and Los Angeles, Dr. McClenahan leads a team offering in-person and virtual therapy for trauma. With empathy and expertise, they create a safe space for healing. If this episode resonates, let it be a gentle nudge to explore your own path forward, knowing you’re not alone.
Here Counseling, Trauma Therapy in Pasadena
Timestamp Chapters
00:00 Introduction: Why Does Trauma Affect Some People Differently?
00:19 What is Trauma?
01:20 Symptoms of Trauma
05:13 Allostatic Load and Support Systems
10:10 The Neurology of Trauma
14:29 Healing Through Expression and Support
15:22 Conclusion and Therapy Information
Somatic therapy helps individuals face challenging emotions like anger and anxiety, and addresses common fears and misconceptions. Learn about the somatic framework for observing and moving through emotions, trusting the body’s wisdom, and building emotional resilience. Perfect for anyone curious about how somatic therapy can transform their relationship with their emotions.0:00 Introduction to Somatic Therapy0:23 The Dance of Emotions1:26 Arianne’s Journey from Dance to Therapy2:42 Evolution of Somatic Understanding3:56 Addressing Client Fears4:51 The Urge to Control Emotions5:51 Neutral Observation of Feelings6:54 The Fantasy of Control7:48 Accepting and Moving Through Emotions9:13 Signals from the Body10:06 Resourcing the Body’s Resilience11:10 Transcending Pain12:22 Growing the Emotional Container13:10 Common Somatic Complaints14:58 Identifying Numbness and Disconnection16:08 Emotional Health vs. Flatlining18:00 Avoidant Attachment and Suppression20:16 Societal Pressures on Emotions22:08 Therapy as a Safe Space for Rewilding23:17 Creative Approaches in Therapy25:27 Reassuring Clients in the Process27:33 The Value of Anger29:00 Interactive Journal for Emotional Connection31:19 The Cost of Suppression33:00 Honoring Anger’s Purpose34:39 Building Emotional Awareness36:07 Anger as a Desire for Connection37:48 Navigating Shame and Numbness40:23 Inviting Others into Emotional Worlds42:28 Life’s Inevitable Pain44:25 Selling Somatic Therapy Honestly45:27 Physical Acknowledgment of Pain48:36 The Power of Observation50:01 Immediate Shifts in Therapy
In this conversation, Uriah Guilford discusses his journey as a therapist and group practice owner, emphasizing the importance of delegation and automation in therapy practices. The discussion shifts to the role of AI in therapy, exploring its potential benefits and challenges. Uriah shares insights from a recent study on AI chatbots in therapy, highlighting their efficacy in symptom reduction. The conversation delves into the balance between AI and human therapists, the accessibility of mental health care through technology, and the implications of AI on human experience and relationships. Ultimately, the dialogue emphasizes the need for human connection in therapy while acknowledging the potential of AI to enhance therapeutic practices.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Uriah Guilford and Intune Family Counseling
03:03 The Journey of Delegation and Automation in Therapy
06:01 The Role of Virtual Assistants in Therapy Practices
09:06 Exploring AI in Therapy: The Future of Mental Health
11:49 The Efficacy of AI Chatbots in Therapy
14:59 Personal Experiences with AI in Therapy
17:57 The Human Connection in Therapy vs. AI
21:08 The Future of AI and Human Therapists Collaboration
26:06 The Role of AI in Therapy
30:05 Human Connection vs. AI Support
36:08 Accessibility and the Future of Mental Health
39:55 The Impact of Technology on Human Experience
49:05 The Essence of Being Human in a Tech-Driven World
Summary
This conversation explores EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, its origins, and its effectiveness in treating trauma and other mental health issues. Dana Carretta-Stein explains the process of EMDR, including the importance of bilateral stimulation and the therapeutic relationship. The discussion also addresses common client experiences, resistance to therapy, and the necessity of feeling discomfort for healing. In this conversation, Dana Carretta-Stein and Connor McClenahan explore the profound impact of connection and vulnerability in healing, particularly through EMDR therapy. They discuss the rise of EMDR in popular culture, the historical context of healing practices, and the significance of addressing generational trauma. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of understanding trauma through family history and the healing potential that can arise from acknowledging and expressing emotions. Dana shares insights from her practice, Peaceful Living, highlighting the mission to support individuals in their healing journeys.
Takeaways
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to EMDR Therapy
02:08 The Origins of EMDR
05:20 Understanding the EMDR Process
08:03 The Role of Bilateral Stimulation
11:13 Client Experiences and Reactions
18:05 Overcoming Resistance to Therapy
21:17 The Importance of Therapeutic Relationships
24:09 The Power of Connection in Healing
25:17 The Rise of EMDR in Popular Culture
27:53 Cultural and Historical Context of Healing
29:32 The Role of Vulnerability in Therapy
31:25 Generational Trauma and Its Impact
34:17 Understanding Trauma Through Family History
39:08 Healing Across Generations
41:05 The Mission of Peaceful Living Therapy
Pelvic floor is an emotional topic. Dr. Rachel Daof of The Pelvic Model explores how emotional factors—such as trauma, shame, or stress—can affect pelvic health, alongside physical causes like childbirth. Dr. Daof also emphasizes a holistic approach, integrating physical therapy with nervous system healing. For example, healing isn't usually found in "strengthening" the pelvic floor muscles, as in Kegel exercises, but in elongating and relaxing the muscle. This is because our pelvic floor muscles are often too tense, making them unable to to be strong when they're needed. Finally, Dr. Daof shares exciting news about a new community-focused space in Highland Park, opening on April 14th, designed to offer workshops and programs to normalize pelvic health discussions.
[00:00:04] Dr. Daof introduces Pelvic Model Physical Therapy - "We help with pee, poo, and pleasure."
[00:00:53] Common issues: urinary incontinence, bowel problems, and sexual dysfunction.
[00:02:21] Normalizing pelvic health - "Talk about it like any other body part."
[00:06:42] Treatment process begins with history, consent, and internal exams focused on safety.
[00:12:25] Causes of pelvic issues: childbirth, trauma, stress, and muscle guarding.
[00:16:26] Debunking the Kegel myth - tightness vs. relaxation for pelvic strength.
[00:20:51] Emotional roots: childhood shame and trauma impacting pelvic health.
[00:45:15] New Highland Park space announced - community workshops starting April 14th.
#pelvicfloor #pelvicfloortherapy #kegelexercises #somatictherapy
Here Counseling - Therapy in Pasadena and Los Angeles
ADHD is commonly misunderstood. Learn about the cutting-edge world of brain mapping and neurofeedback with Dr. Giancarlo Licata, founder of Vital Brain Health. Forget the oversimplified ADHD label—here, we reveal how stress and experience rewire your prefrontal cortex and amygdala, driving behaviors often mistaken for attention deficits. We’ll also examine how collective trauma alters neural networks and why relationships are the unsung heroes of brain plasticity. Backed by peer-reviewed science, this conversation offers actionable reframes and strategies to optimize your brain’s potential—whether you’re a parent, a professional, or simply curious about what’s under the hood. Expect rigorous insights, practical tools, and a fresh perspective on how to harness your neurobiology for focus, resilience, and connection.
[0:00] Brain mapping and neurofeedback: Decoding the brain’s hardware
[2:15] The neurology of ADHD-like focus issues: Prefrontal cortex, amygdala, and beyond
[12:30] Shared trauma’s impact: How collective stress rewires neural networks
[22:45] Relationships and brain wiring: The social synapse and mirror neurons
[35:00] Strategies for change: Reframing focus and leveraging neurofeedback
[45:20] Unlocking your brain’s potential with science and connection
Here Counseling - Therapy in Pasadena and Los Angeles
Try our AI Therapy Matcher
In this episode, we examine the science of attachment styles—fundamental frameworks that dictate how you form and sustain relationships across your life. Rooted in early developmental experiences, these styles (secure, avoidant, anxious, and disorganized) influence your interactions in romantic partnerships, friendships, and professional environments.
We’ll unpack the evolutionary origins of attachment, driven by the prefrontal cortex’s role in fostering social bonds for survival, and delineate the four primary styles with clear, relatable examples. The discussion extends to their measurable impacts on adult behavior—how they shape conflict resolution, emotional regulation, and trust—and offers evidence-based strategies to cultivate a more secure attachment profile.
Expect a detailed exploration of why superficial fixes fall short and how self-awareness, grounded in honest reflection, can rewire relational patterns. This extended session provides actionable insights for understanding and optimizing your interpersonal dynamics.
[0:00] Intro to Attachment Styles - Defining attachment and its role in relationships
[0:42] Episode Breakdown - Overview of topics: origins, types, impacts, and solutions
[2:04] Why Attachment Exists - Evolutionary roots in the brain’s social bonding
[3:59] Learning Attachment - How parents shape your relational templates
[6:27] Safety Meets Exploration - Secure attachment’s balance of connection and independence
[7:37] Secure Attachment - Playground example of safety and exploration
[9:52] Avoidant Attachment - Playground example of suppressing needs
[12:05] Anxious Attachment - Playground example of clinging to inconsistency
[14:17] Disorganized Attachment - Playground example of chaos and fear
[15:59] Attachment in Adulthood - Adult manifestations of the four styles
[21:12] What’s Your Style? - Reflecting on your attachment tendencies
[22:48] What Doesn’t Fix It - Limits of superficial skills and pretense
[24:44] What Actually Works - Self-awareness as the key to security
[28:05] Next Steps - Practical ways to heal through conversation or therapy
When you're looking for a therapist, you're focusing on 3 main things: availability, authenticity, and helpfulness. In this video, Dr. Connor McClenahan, director of Here Counseling, breaks down these essential qualities and explains their role in effective therapy.1. Available: The video emphasizes the importance of a therapist who responds quickly and is accessible when needed. Here Counseling addresses this by offering prompt replies and aiming to schedule appointments within a week.2. Real: A genuine, empathetic connection is highlighted as vital for building trust in therapy. Therapists at Here Counseling are trained to foster this authentic bond, strengthening the therapeutic relationship.3. Helpful: Therapy should drive real progress, and the video notes that Here Counseling’s therapists use evidence-based methods, like psychoanalysis, to support clients in achieving meaningful growth.Dr. McClenahan also outlines how Here Counseling helps clients find the right therapist. Here Counseling features a dedicated care coordinator and personalized therapist profiles, making it easier to match with someone who meets individual needs.These qualities—availability, authenticity, and helpfulness—lay the foundation for a successful therapeutic experience, guiding viewers toward healing and personal development.Watch the video for a deeper look at what makes a great therapist and how Here Counseling puts these principles into practice.- 00:00 - Introduction by Dr. Connor McClanahan- 00:19 - Available: Why it matters in a therapist- 01:03 - Real: The importance of a genuine therapist- 02:06 - Helpful: What makes a therapist helpful- 03:40 - Understanding psychoanalysis and therapy- 04:45 - Meet our therapists: individual landing pages- 05:18 - How our care coordinator can help you- 06:31 - Therapy’s ultimate goal: life-changing growth- 07:13 - Reach out and start your journey#therapy #mentalhealth #counseling #selfcare #wellbeing
Some therapists leave young adults feeling stuck instead of strong. In this episode, Dr. Andrea Bailey tackles the provocative idea of the "vibey therapist"—a feel-good approach that might be doing more harm than good. We explore how this plays out for college students facing societal pressures and a digital world that demands instant results. Dr. Bailey oversees mental health support for a diverse student body of 24,000 at Pasadena Cit College, and has a unique perspective on the current mental health of young adults. Dr. Bailey shares how her team balances validation with challenge, offering a fresh take on counseling in a community college setting.
#MentalHealthMatters #CommunityCollegeLife #TherapyTalk #MentalHealthAwareness #YoungAdultStruggles #TraumaAndHealing #DigitalAgeChallenges #BadTherapy #StudentWellness #ResilienceBuilding
Why do we procrastinate? Why do we lack motivation? How can you leverage your neurology to accomplish meaningful goals? Today I examine the depressive spiral that often underlies this feeling, look at why typical strategies fall short, and explain how your brain can naturally help you stay motivated to achieve meaningful goals.
Section 1: Understanding the Depressive Pattern
The Depressive Spiral at Work
When you lack motivation, a depressive pattern often takes hold: you feel overwhelmed and sad, unable to tackle tasks, and then harsh self-criticism kicks in. This criticism doesn’t ease the overwhelm—it just leads to exhaustion, creating a cycle that deepens the struggle and leaves you feeling stuck.
Why Common Strategies Don’t Work
Many turn to quick fixes like scheduling tasks early, drinking caffeine, or avoiding sugar to boost motivation. This section explains why these methods fail—they ignore the deeper feelings of overwhelm and isolation that need to be addressed for lasting change.
The Origins of This Pattern
The depressive spiral often stems from early experiences where support was lacking. As a child, being overwhelmed and met with criticism rather than help can lead to a belief that no one will step in, and that you’re a burden—beliefs that carry into adulthood and fuel this lack of motivation.
Section 2: How Your Brain Can Help You Accomplish Meaningful Goals
Overview of Your Brain’s Motivation Systems
Your brain is designed to help you stay motivated through three key areas: the limbic system, prefrontal cortex, and ventral striatum. Using analogies like a marathon for goal-setting or a high wire versus a balance beam for stress, this section introduces how these areas work together to get you moving.
The Limbic System and the Need for Safety
The limbic system assesses safety, prioritizing tasks tied to your well-being. When overwhelmed, it’s as if you’re on a high wire—too paralyzed to act. Establishing safety through practices like gratitude, physical touch, or sharing your feelings can help you feel more grounded, like you’re on a balance beam instead.
The Prefrontal Cortex and Effective Planning
Once you feel safe, the prefrontal cortex helps with planning. It breaks tasks into small, manageable steps, such as starting by opening your computer. This area also manages distractions by inhibiting unhelpful actions and activating a clear sequence of steps to reach your goals.
The Reward System and your Ventral Striatum
The ventral striatum, your brain’s reward center, plays a key role in motivation. This section sets the stage for understanding how rewards can drive you forward, focusing on what truly works to keep you engaged.
Section 3: Using Rewards to Boost Motivation
The Power of Social Rewards
Material rewards like caffeine or vacations aren’t as effective as social ones. Involving others in your goals—whether by sharing your progress or celebrating together—can make achieving them more motivating and meaningful.
Rewards That Reflect Your Values
Beyond social rewards, motivation grows when goals align with your deeper values, like becoming more responsible or helping others. This section explores how tying tasks to the person you want to be can keep you going, and why self-criticism often blocks this process.
Section 4: Therapy and a New Perspective on Motivation
How Therapy Addresses Self-Criticism
Self-criticism is a major barrier to motivation, and therapy can help by exploring its roots with empathy. This section discusses how understanding and setting aside these critical thoughts allows you to focus on your goals and values.
Rethinking Motivation
The episode wraps up with a key insight: motivation isn’t about forcing discipline. It’s about reducing overwhelm, creating safety, and pursuing goals that feel meaningful to you and those around you, using your brain’s natural systems to guide the way.
Dr. Connor McClenahan
Therapy in Pasadena and LA
New to therapy or wondering if it’s right for you? In this episode, Dr. Connor McClenahan from Here Counseling shares the three must-know insights to kickstart your mental health journey. From why your connection with a therapist trumps their resume to the surprising costs of avoiding help, Dr. Connor blends research-backed wisdom with practical tips to guide you toward healing. Whether it’s anxiety, depression, or relationship woes, this episode will empower you to take that first step with confidence.
In This Episode:
Key Insights:
Timestamps:
Are you the pursuer or withdrawer in your relationship? John Allan Whitacre explores the real reasons we blame and check out in our closest relationships. Many couples don't see or change their pattern, and live in constant tension and disconnection, harming their ability to rest, enjoy, and feel loved. John Allan gives us helpful ways to approach and communicate with our partners that steer us clear of blame and withdrawal, and toward open expression and care. If you're looking to resolve a difficult relationship pattern, this episode is for your relationship.
Couples Therapy in Pasadena and Los Angeles:
Psychology hasn't always been around, but our desire for healing and growth is constantly evolving. This podcast comes from my desire to connect with other practitioners - therapists, nurses, chiropractors, healers - to learn about our common striving to heal.
I'm a licensed psychologist and director of Here Counseling, a group private practice helping people with depression, anxiety, trauma, and couples issues in the Los Angeles area.
Depression creates a lens that diminishes our view of ourselves. Awe works by broadening and building our view, reconnecting us to the larger world and, simultaneously, our larger self. McKenzie Laird, AMFT provides therapy for depression in Pasadena.
*We had technical difficulties with the video! Half way through we switch to subtitles. Thanks for your patience as we experiment.Here Counselinghttps://herecounseling.comMcKenzie Lairdhttps://herecounseling.com/mckenzie-laird
