Some extracts from: What Does Love Actually Mean? By Krizzia Paolyn, March 16th 2018 for ThoughtCatalog They said love at a young age is temporary. They said first loves aren’t meant to last forever. They said it was just too hard for two people to maintain their relationship when they are still in the process of growing into the person they’re meant to be. They said finding love is hard when you are rich and when you are poor. Either they’ll use you or drain you. They said long-distance love gets disconnected through time. They said love has to hurt in order for it to last. Was it really that hard to love someone? They said love should stay no matter how hard the situation gets. Let’s say love left and then you meet them again and nothing has changed at all? Is it counted as first love never dies? Can I finally say that there are things that are temporary for a while and then it comes back older and more mature to stay permanently? That’s when I realized that every person has their own idea and definition of love. For a child, love is someone who feeds and plays with them when everyone’s away. For a parent, love is when their children respect and adore them. For a depressed person, love is someone who makes winter feel like summer. For a happy person, love is someone who can go on a roller coaster ride with them and not get mad for facing their greatest fear. For a man, love is someone who sleeps and stays with him through ups and downs. And for a woman, love is someone who accepts her no matter how imperfect she looks in the morning.

COVID BLUES

We start our third season with this as the season might JUST be dedicated to dealing / coping with COVID. The pandemic is ravaging and we all need some level of comfort, even as we try to deal and cope with our various mental spaces. Remember, we are always here and it is our hope, that you ALWAYS find solace within our spaces.

Covid 19 is real people, do stay safe out there and use your masks. As with every illness, Covid 19 leaves behind an impact not only on the physical BUT even much more on the mental state. Depression is real as we here refer to it as the Covid Blues, occasioned by the general onslaught of the pandemic, for some, the 'burden' of actually 'living' through the virus, being quarantined and even stigmatized in some cases.

Listen as this very strong and special lady shares her personal experience and takes us through the various stages of Covid blues as well as coping.

Depression is real BUT you need to put in some 'coping mechanisms' to 'deal'.

#covidblues #copingwithdepression #depressionsupport #depressionisreal

Regular exercise can profoundly have a positive impact on your mental health by boosting your overall mood. 

Here are some key lessons on dealing with your mental health through fitness and health:-

1. Whatever you feed your body is what you get out.

2. Start by making little changes, clean up your diet.

3. Drink more water.

4. Do YOU! Be at a weight (get a body) that you are happy with. You can't please everyone.

5. Losing weight does not improve self esteem.

6. Most IMPORTANTLY, start SMALL!!!

7. FINALLY, there will be failures! Yes, there will be stops and starts, what's important is that you realize this and start again!

Navigating med.school is an ongoing process for me right now, she says and the workload (just as in life generally) could impact one's mental health and well being BUT these are some of the ways I cope and I hope it helps someone listening.

1. Your support system is important - Friends, Family, anyone that means anything to you. Where you can vent, talk and generally just be yourself.

2. Do YOU! Always find what works for you. You cannot want to run someone else's race, do what works for you.

3. Remember always, that no-one is an Island. You need people or you will FAIL!!

4. It's OK to be tired BUT don't let it get the better of you.

5. Drop your phone sometimes. Take a walk, sleep. Just CHILL!

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, evidence of things not seen.

The greatest things to be thankful for - The gift of Life as well as Family (the support system that matters more than anything)

Commune with The Lord in Prayer

Worshiping in spirit and truth

Fasting is key to any one, not only as Christians BUT as humans (this could also be medically confirmed / verified). 

In the place of quiet, you are able to know God even better.

In all things, remember, Wisdom is profitable to direction.

One’s mental wellness within the workplace is very important BUT questions are often asked about the Millennials; dealing with them and their attitude generally within the workplace as well as how the current pandemic might have affected them and their work ethics.

Millennials get a bad rap in the workforce. These 20-somethings are often accused of being disrespectful, indifferent to authority, overly self-confident, needy and prone to job hopping!? To an extent, these might be true BUT many of these criticisms are exaggerated.

Some key lessons from our HR consultant -

1. Involvement: Try to involve them in whatever actions being carried out.

2. Openness is needed to address a harmonious work environment (from both parties to listen and act).

3. Balance the teams and give everyone an equal voice irrespective of age or position.

4. Let everyone feel comfortable to speak as well as understand that their opinions / suggestions are valid.

5. Give everyone the opportunity to implement whatever tasks they are given.

6. OPENNESS is key!

Eye Opening, down to earth and true talk with the following business and life lessons learnt -

1. Talk to The Lord. Yes, TALK!

2. There is no problem too BIG to share, speak to someone, find someone you trust to speak with.

3. Love what you do! Be happy doing what you do or are doing because if and definitely when life happens, your backbone is / will be the conviction or love for whatever you are doing.

4. Don't be afraid to fail, just keep it moving!

5. Don't be lost in the crowd, run your own race. STAY ON YOUR LANE!

The Lock-down experience was indeed an 'experience' for everyone BUT who more than a new dad can share his experience coping with a pregnant wife, a toddler, family and finally a new born. Babies cry, and some more than others, the biggest mistake you can ever make is comparing your situation to other parents.  We discussed this dad's lock-down experience and some key lessons on how he coped: 1. Trust God! 2. Surround yourself with people you can talk too, no man is an island. 3. Don't do more than yourself, don't let anyone put pressure on you in terms of the number of children you want. 4. Raising kids is fun, it's interesting because you learn from them as well. 5. There is a lot to learn from the little ones, be open to and with them. 6. Enjoy this period with the children, make the best of it, make fun memories and DON'T DROP YOUR BABY!

My I.T Experience was a 'blow' of sorts to my mental health as it was my first 'adulting' experience BUT I was able to deal / cope.

Some key lessons on how she coped and possibly how others could cope on their IT experience or even within the workplace.

1. Your boss is always right. Even when you have an opinion, state it later.

2. Rein yourself in. You are human BUT you need to learn how to keep a poker face, not everything needs to be let out

3. Do your work. You are there for a reason and you always need to 'show up' as a 'trooper'.

4. Reading and writing were an outlet, they helped. Find your outlet - Reading, Writing, Exercising anything

5. If you are doing anything, DO IT WELL! Live life and ENJOY it.

Marriage through the eyes of 'Thatfunnycouple' - The OTLovetrain. Watch the full video on our IGTV @bantzwithtee. It was a highly educative session.  Some key lessons as they discuss and share their year's journey with us.  1. Marriage is a partnership. It's about working TOGETHER as a UNIT, a TEAM.  2. Being considerate of each other.  3. Take it a day at a time. No expectations, just give it your best.  4. Be tolerant. Don't allow fights to extend. 5. Know each other's growth plan and encourage each other. 6. Never be afraid to have those HARD discussions, especially finances.

We end season one on a thankful note, thanking everyone that took time to listen, re-post, comment and make suggestions on what we could do better.  With your continued support, we look forward to making the 2nd season even more exciting, interesting and successful.

There are no perfect fathers, just loving fathers: Fathers who stop the world for their children's happiness, Fathers who motivate their children to achieve amazing things, Fathers who are there for their children no matter what (A bank used this as their Father's day greeting and it resonated so much). Truth, we maybe don't appreciate fathers as much as we really need too. The role of a father is always changing in our modern world. What exactly does it mean to be a dad? The art of fatherhood is evolving as society and the traditional family changes. Today's families are increasingly more diverse, including single parent families, blended families, same gender parents, unmarried parents, and multi-generational families. Over the past three decades, societal changes including the rise in numbers of women working outside the home, escalating divorce rates, remarriages, and blended families are causing shifts in both maternal and paternal roles. Changes in parenting styles have given men more options for responding to obligations as fathers, husbands or partners. Today's dad is less likely to automatically rely on his own childhood experiences for fatherhood guidance. With the constantly changing roles of dads, what worked well for his father 30 years ago, may not work at all with the complex and varied challenges modern fathers face.

Brothers and sisters are, more often than not, children’s first playmates and adults’ oldest  friends. BUT sibling relationships play out in unpredictable ways with  unpredictable results. Brotherhood and sisterhood can teach social skills and help us learn to resolve conflicts or cause life-long social dysfunction.   New research indicates that, for many brothers and sisters, sibling  relationships yield mixed results. More interestingly, that same  research, which represents an early attempt to sort through so-called Sibling Effects, keeps falling back on one key point: the effects of sibling relationships in childhood echos through the rest of our lives. “Sibling relationships influence children’s adjustment and development about as much as parenting does,” Mark Feinberg, who teaches human development at Penn State University.

Rape is a sexual violation and a sexual violation is the most intimate and arguably the most profound of all violations that a human being could experience.   Sexual abuse, in any form, is traumatic and often confusing for the victims.  Individuals, who are traumatized, especially at the hands of others, require support, understanding, and validation for what they are experiencing and trying to overcome.  Unfortunately for the victims of sexual abuse, there is often a cloak of silence surrounding these issues, making receiving support and validation a difficult task. The Truth - For many individuals, profound traumatic experiences result in painful existential searching.  Victims may find themselves preoccupied with difficult questions about existence, good and evil, justice and fairness, spiritual beliefs, faith, and God.   Many will and have questioned the very foundation of beliefs they have built their lives upon to this point.  This questioning can lead to a sense of being lost and adrift with nothing to trust or believe in.  Recovery will be dramatically affected by how well these issues are resolved for the victim. Victims frequently ask questions and struggle with issues that will be discussed at length in this section.  The inability, or reluctance, to seek support and validation makes recovery especially difficult for mostr individuals.  Over the years, religious communities have been reluctant to broach these topics or help with dealing. The responsibility of ministers and church leaders is great.  Religious leaders are often seen as the “mouthpiece of God” and have tremendous power and influence with believers and even to some degree with non-believers.   Your reactions are normal and we can tell you for a fact that It’s not your fault BUT we are here to help you!!!

Sexual assault is never the victim's fault ... Never ever. No matter what was said or what clothing was worn, whether there was alcohol involved, or if the perpetrator was not a stranger ... no one has permission to do anything to you or your body against your wishes. Statistics have shown that 76% of sexual assaults committed are by a 'familiar stranger'.

According to WHO January 2020 updates - Depression is a common illness worldwide, with more than 264 million people affected. Depression is different from usual mood fluctuations and short-lived emotional responses to challenges in everyday life. Especially when long-lasting and with moderate or severe intensity, depression may become a serious health condition. It can cause the affected person to suffer greatly and function poorly at work, at school and in the family. At its worst, depression can lead to suicide. Depression is a common mental disorder. Globally, more than 264 million people of all ages suffer from depression. Some facts... Depression is a leading cause of disability worldwide and is a major contributor to the overall global burden of disease. More women are affected by depression than men. Depression can lead to suicide.

According to WHO (September 2019 updates), every year close to 800, 000 people take their own life and there are many more people who attempt suicide. Suicide is a serious public health problem; Every suicide is a tragedy that affects families and communities, it has long-lasting effects on the people who are left behind. Suicide was the second leading cause of death among 15-29 year-olds globally in 2016. Today, we have Dr. R. E Ogbolu, our in-house psychiatrist discussing suicide cues to watch out for, how to deal and ultimately consulting and treatment by a doctor.

According to Wikipedia, work–life balance is the lack of opposition between work and other life roles. It is the state of equilibrium in which demands of personal life, professional life, and family life are equal. Hmmmmmmm!? Equal, how possible is this honestly. Considering the general feeling of tension in the air as caused by the pandemic, we actually decided to bring this topic forward, earlier than scheduled and today, I hope this helped someone.

What does L. O. V. E mean to you! Can you use the 4 letter word just because? It should mean something to you, right? What does this four letter word mean to you?

In this episode, we are discussing depression with our consultant psychiatrist - Dr. R. E Ogbolu. Depression, even if it's a depressive disorder, isn't a stigma. It's treatable BUT you can only get treated if you talk about it.