Why were we all labeled “too much” before we ever got a diagnosis? Let’s interrupt that story. This week, I sit down with Dr. Gilly Kahn — psychologist, mom, and author of Allow Me to Interrupt: A Psychologist Reveals the Emotional Truth Behind Women’s ADHD. We unpack the late diagnosis epidemic, the emotional toll of masking, rejection sensitivity, and how outdated diagnostic criteria still leave girls unseen. Gilly and I talk about what it really means to reclaim your identity after years of self-blame, why emotional dysregulation deserves a front-row seat in ADHD conversations, and how empowerment starts with unlearning shame. If you’ve ever been told you’re “too emotional,” “too reactive,” or just “too much,” this one’s for you. More about this weeks guest: Gilly Kahn, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, mother, and writer. She specializes in neurodiversity and emotion regulation and provides individual therapy in Atlanta, Georgia. When she is not seeing clients or mommying, you’ll usually find her writing, probably about something psychological. Gilly’s debut book titled, Allow Me to Interrupt: A Psychologist Reveals the Emotional Truth Behind Women’s ADHD, is now available for preorder. You can learn more about Gilly by visiting her website. Follow Gilly on  Instagram

Is porn really rewiring your brain? Does masturbation harm relationships? Or are we caught in cultural shame scripts that make normal behaviors feel dangerous? In this episode, I unpack the research, from claims about erectile dysfunction and “porn addiction” to the ICD-11’s take on compulsive sexual behavior. Drawing from my clinical work with 100+ men, I explore how moral incongruence, secrecy, and shame—not masturbation itself—fuel distress. If you’ve ever wondered what the science actually says, this conversation will give you clarity, nuance, and maybe a little relief.

Unlearning Shame, Reclaiming Pleasure: The 3-Minute Game That Changes Everything

Ever been mid masturbation and thought, “Why am I analyzing this toy like a product review instead of actually enjoying myself?” Or maybe the opposite, you’re left wondering if your clit is broken because nothing’s happening. In this episode of ADHD Realities, Dr. Leann Borneman dives into how vibrators interact with ADHD brains and sensory processing differences. From overstimulation (too sharp, too loud, too much) to understimulation (too mild, too boring, not enough), we’ll break down why these experiences happen, and what you can actually do about it. You’ll learn: The concept of sensory load shifting...why partner control changes the game, and how to recreate that effect when you’re solo. Practical strategies to dampen sensations when toys feel overwhelming. Creative ways to amp up sensations when toys aren’t hitting enough. How context like lighting, sound, hormones, stress, shapes your experience more than you think. Because vibrators aren’t broken, and neither are you. It’s all about finding the right settings for your brain and body. Check out Dr. B’s Sensation Spectrum Toy Guide

Erections, testosterone, fertility, penis size—men’s health is full of myths, shame, and bad TikTok advice. In this episode, I sit down with Urologist Dr. Justin Dubin to cut through the noise and get real about what’s actually going on with male sexual health. We talk about why erectile dysfunction can be an early warning sign for bigger health issues, how testosterone really works (and what kills your sperm), what to know about Peyronie’s disease and penis pumps, and why shame keeps so many men from getting help. This conversation is blunt, funny, and packed with facts your doctor probably hasn’t told you. If you or your partner have ever wondered what’s “normal,” this episode will change the way you think about men’s health.More info on Dr. Justin Dubin:Dr. Justin Dubin is a Urologist who specializes in Men's Health including sexual medicine and male infertility at Memorial Healthcare System in South Florida. Justin grew up in Wayne, NJ and graduated from Johns Hopkins University with a degree in Biology. He attended Rutgers Robert Wood Johnson for medical school then completed his training in Urology at the University of Miami followed by his Andrology fellowship at Northwestern University.  Dr. Dubin is passionate about men’s health and education with the goal of improving both the lives of men and their partners. He has published multiple papers on both male infertility and sexual health, has been quoted in the NY Times, Insider, GQ, The Cut, USA Today, and Men’s Health and is the current co-host of the men’s health podcast Man Up: A Doctor’s Guide to Men’s Health through which he hopes to destigmatize men's health topics and motivate men to improve their overall lives.Where you can find Dr. Justin Rubin:WebsiteInstagramTik TokThe Man up Pod 

If you’re an ADHD mom wondering why everything feels louder, harder, and more exhausting lately, then this one’s for you. In this episode, Dr. Leann Borneman gets real about the absolute chaos of motherhood with ADHD, and why the invisible labor, relentless demands, and sensory overload aren’t just “part of the job”, they’re a setup for burnout. And if you’re also in perimenopause? Buckle up, because the hormonal shifts do mess with your ADHD symptoms and regulation, even if the research hasn’t caught up yet. We’re naming the rage, the noise, the overstimulation, and the deep, quiet guilt so many moms carry. This episode is validating, raw, and full of “oh my god, yes” moments, with some practical support to help you stop masking, start protecting your nervous system, and finally say, “this isn’t fine, and I’m not doing this alone”. Because the problem isn’t that you’re failing, it’s that the world expects you to mother like you’re not neurodivergent or hormonal. And if you’re looking for receipts, a new position paper published in July 2025 finally backs what we’ve been saying for years: hormonal fluctuations absolutely impact cognition, mood, and executive function. This peer-reviewed paper compiles extensive data to support the link between hormonal shifts and changes in ADHD symptom presentation across the lifespan. 👉 Read Article Here

What do you do when you realize you’re completely disconnected from your body, burned out, and expected to maintain a thriving sex life? In this episode, I sit down with psychologist, certified sex therapist, and author Dr. Kate Balestrieri to talk about her new book What Happened to My Sex Life?—a raw, real, and relatable exploration of desire, disconnection, resentment, and the slow road back to pleasure. We talk about: How burnout, patriarchy, ADHD, and resentment erode desire What “reclaiming pleasure” really means (hint: it’s not about lingerie and sex toys) Why sex therapists aren’t immune to desire struggles How to start reconnecting with your body without overwhelming yourself The emotional labor and invisible scripts tied to heteronormative desire expectations What it means to want intimacy but still feel ”meh” about sex—and how that doesn’t make you broken This one is honest, validating, and a powerful reminder that your sexuality isn’t gone—it might just be buried under all the bullshit. More info on Dr. Kate Balestrieri:  Dr. Kate Balestrieri, Psy.D is a Licensed Psychologist (Clinical and Forensic) in CA, FL, NY and IL. She is a Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist – Supervisor, and PACT III trained couples’ therapist. The Founder of Modern Intimacy, a nationwide therapy practice, Dr. Balestrieri is a passionate advocate for mental, relational and sexual health. Throughout her work, Dr. Balestrieri focuses on helping people build resilience and recovery from what ails them to move from a position of pain or discomfort to one of thriving, holistically in their lives. Dr. Balestrieri is the author of What Happened to My Sex Life? A Sex Therapist’s Guide to Reclaiming Lost Desire, Connection and Pleasure, and is the host of the Get Naked with Dr. Kate podcast. You can find Dr. Kate Balestrieri on: IG/Tik Tok: @drkatebalestrieri YouTube: @ModernIntimacy

In this no-BS solo episode, I dive headfirst into the relationship narrative that’s wrecking ADHD partnerships... the idea that ”if you cared, you’d just show it.” You probably do care. Your executive function is just struggling with the neurotypical expectations attached. I break down why ADHD brains struggle with “prioritizing” in the ways neurotypical society expects by explaining the real role of executive function barriers, environmental cues, and those WTF moments. This episode is packed with: Real talk about working memory, task initiation, and time blindness ADHD-friendly ways to actually show up for your partner (without shame) Why forgetting isn’t failing—and planning your love is still love A solid reminder that intention does not equal execution, but both deserve compassion Whether you’re the ADHD partner feeling like you’re constantly falling short, or the one wondering why your person never “just remembers,” this episode is a must-listen. Because your love is real. You just need a roadmap—and maybe a few post-it notes. 👉 Share this with your partner (or therapist). Let’s rewrite what prioritizing love actually looks like for ADHD brains.

In this episode of ADHD Realities, Dr. Borneman sits down with Dr. Jessica McCarthy a licensed neuropsychologist and clinical psychologist, for a no-BS, deeply validating conversation about what it really means to live with ADHD in a world not designed for our brains. Together, they unpack the messy middle between medical models and neurodiversity movements, and explore the danger of relying too heavily on diagnosis as identity. This isn’t just another “what is ADHD?” episode, it’s a raw, unscripted look at self-compassion, environmental disconnects, grief, and the hard truth that sometimes… effort alone isn’t enough. Expect laughs, F-bombs, and real talk about: Why the pendulum swing from pathology to “ADHD is a superpower” leaves people unsupported The social media myths that do more harm than help Diagnosing vs. functioning and what schools actually get right The difference between support and avoidance And how both professionals are navigating this in their personal lives too Whether you’re newly diagnosed, long time late diagnosed, or just trying to figure out why nothing seems to “work”, this episode is your reminder that you’re not lazy, but there is work to be done in ways that work with our brains and the realities, not against them. 🎧 Grab your coffee, put your phone on do not disturb, and let’s get radically honest. How to find Dr. McCarthy? Website IG: @elements_psych @dr.jessica.mccarthy  Check out the new office location in Chatham, NJ

What if the systems we move through every day like school, work, life, were actually built to support the way our brains work, instead of working against us? In this episode, I sit down with my longtime friend and neurodiversity advocate Dave Thompson to unpack what real inclusion looks like in the workplace. From childhood diagnosis to system level change, Dave shares how his personal and professional experiences collided into a career focused on redesigning the workforce for neurodivergent success. We talk about: The emotional complexity of disclosure at work Why accommodations aren’t just for some people—they benefit everyone How AI tools like ChatGPT can be liberating or limiting depending on who’s steering the ship And how Gen Z is forcing workplaces to finally catch up This conversation isn’t just about jobs, it’s about dignity, autonomy, and building environments that actually work. Whether you’re an ADHDer navigating the 9 to 5, a manager wanting to do better, or someone just tired of masking, this one’s for you. Website Rebranding The Brain: Neurodiversity at Work | Dave Thompson | TEDxDanville

Ever felt totally in the mood... until your clean skin, mental fatigue, or the idea of grabbing the lube made your brain shut down? In this intimate solo episode, Dr. Leann Borneman dives deep into the real life overlap of ADHD, executive function shutdown, sensory overload, and the confusing disconnect between wanting sex and being able to access it. This isn’t about low libido, it’s about bandwidth, task sequencing, overstimulation, and the environmental mismatch so many ADHDers face in the bedroom. With raw honesty, relatable humor, and practical strategies, this episode validates the “WTF is happening to me” moments and helps you reframe them with compassion, clarity, and collaboration. Whether you’re a therapist, a partner, or someone with ADHD trying to make sense of your own intimacy patterns, this one is for you. ADHD Informed Bedroom Check In: https://www.bornemancoaching.com/product-page/adhd-informed-bedroom-check-in-digital-pdf-download

If sex has ever felt like a confusing chore, a pressure-filled performance, or just… not designed with your brain in mind, you are not alone. In this episode, Dr. Leann Borneman sits down with bestselling author and sex therapist Dr. Laurie Mintz (📚 Becoming Cliterate, A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex) for a raw, hilarious, and deeply validating convo about orgasms, desire, and a little on how ADHD + sensory differences can shape our sexual experiences. We tackle: The orgasm gap and why it’s not your fault The myth of ”foreplay” and why it’s time to rewrite the script Vibrators, high-vibration receptors, and the neuroscience of pleasure ADHD overstimulation, sex paralysis, and the magic of planning without pressure Responsive vs. spontaneous desire—and how most of us were never taught the difference Whether you’ve faked it, avoided it, or felt broken for not wanting it—this episode flips the script and reminds you: pleasure should work for your brain, not against it. 👉 Listen in and give yourself permission to reimagine sex on your terms. More information on Dr. Laurie Mintz: Dr. Laurie Mintz is an Emeritus Professor at the University of Florida teaching Human Sexuality to hundreds of undergraduates yearly. She has published over 60 scholarly works and authored two popular press books: Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It  and A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex.  Mintz is a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist in private practice. She is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, indicating her work has had a positive national influence on the field of psychology. In 2023, she was named one of Forbes “50 over 50” women innovators. Dr. Laurie Mintz Contact: Instagram Website

Why does receiving oral feel like work for so many vulva owners with ADHD? This episode unpacks it all: the sensory chaos, the internal monologue that won’t quit, the vulnerability overload, and the executive dysfunction that makes ”just enjoy it” feel like a cruel joke. I dive deep into: How gender scripts, shame, and ADHD intersect in the bedroom Why “let go and enjoy” is NOT trauma-informed advice What overstimulation, masking, and delayed self-awareness look like during oral Real talk on orgasm grief, communication challenges, and reclaiming your pleasure If you’ve ever tapped out mid-oral because your nervous system was screaming louder than your partner’s praise, this one’s for you. You are not broken. Your brain just wasn’t designed for the script you’ve been handed. Content note: This episode contains honest conversation, humor, and a whole lot of validation, but is not a substitute for therapy. Please work with a qualified professional if you’re experiencing distress.

In honor of National Masturbation Month, we’re getting real about how self-pleasure, stimulation, and sensory seeking show up in ADHD brains. This isn’t just about orgasms — it’s about regulation, shame, curiosity, and reclaiming your body on your terms. Whether you’re navigating sensory overload, executive dysfunction, or internalized judgment around pleasure, this short episode breaks down why masturbation can be a form of self-care, not self-indulgence. We’ll unpack the overlap between stimming and sexual touch, how ADHD impacts self-exploration, and why some of us struggle to even initiate solo time. If you’ve ever felt frustrated, disconnected, or unsure of your pleasure patterns, you’re not alone — and you’re definitely not broken. Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. While it’s hosted by a licensed mental health provider, it is not a substitute for individualized mental health care. Think of it as a sprinkle of support to add to your backpack of knowledge — something to walk with on your journey of self-understanding and empowerment. Let’s get curious, not critical.

In this hyperfocused, myth-busting deep dive, I’m joined by ADHD nutrition research expert Annika Angelo and we go all in. From sugar cravings and red dye panic to gluten, binge eating, and why sitting down for a full “balanced meal” might be working against our ADHD brains... this episode is packed with science, laughter, and so much validation. We explore: Why people with ADHD crave sugar (and why it’s not a moral failure) What the research actually says about food dyes, gluten, and dairy The real connection between binge eating and ADHD How nutrition is often set up through a neurotypical lens What an ADHD-friendly plate really looks like (spoiler: it’s not just broccoli and discipline) Whether you’re a parent feeling food guilt, an adult ADHDer who lives off snacks and vibes, or just someone confused by all the conflicting advice online, this episode will leave you feeling more informed, less judged, and maybe a little mind-blown. 🧠✨ Because ADHD isn’t a discipline problem. It’s a different brain. And we deserve more fitting narratives! Links for Annika: Website - nutrimindcoaching.com Patreon - patreon.com/nutrimindcoach Podcast [The Nutritional Mental Health Podcast] - https://open.spotify.com/show/1OZgEmTw9WO00Xxz5XUuBN

In this episode, I sit down with somatic sexologist Sarah Silverstein to explore therapeutic yoni massage and its connection to ADHD, trauma, body awareness, and pleasure. We dive into what yoni mapping actually is, how it can support nervous system regulation, and why it may be helpful, especially for my fellow ADHDers looking to reconnect with their bodies. ⚠️ Disclaimer: We discuss G-spot stimulation and internal orgasms. If that’s not part of your experience, you are not broken, everyone’s anatomy and pleasure responses are different. Much of this conversation is based on personal and professional experience and is not supported by empirical review outside of the information on message therapy and the positive effects this has. Please listen with curiosity, compassion, and discernment. If this works for you, amazing. If not, that’s okay too. ✨ Topics include: Yoni massage vs. clinical pelvic work ADHD, sensory overwhelm & intimacy Shame, sensuality & self-awareness How to explore pleasure without pressure 🔗 Follow Sarah: https://www.instagram.com/sarahsilverstein 🌐 Learn more & explore workshops: https://sarasil.com 🎙️ Subscribe for more episodes on ADHD, sexuality, and mental health

What happens when you mix neuroscience, lived ADHD experience, and zero tolerance for shame? This episode. I sit down with Dr. Ludovico Saint Amour di Chanaz (neuroscientist, author, and ADHDer) to unpack the chaos of late diagnosis, burnout, identity grief, motivation struggles, and why self-compassion isn’t just nice... it’s necessary. We’re talking ADHD cycles, why routines feel impossible, the not so sexy truth about sleep, and how to stop hating yourself for having a human brain. If you’re tired of “just try harder” advice then this one’s for you. Contact info for Dr. Ludovico Saint Amour di Chanaz: Ig: https://www.instagram.com/brain.curiosities/ The ADHD User’s Manual: https://www.amazon.com/ADHD-Users-Manual-Understanding-Empowerment/dp/8409668696/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1J3RNTJMXZZ4N&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.uqoe5Wr8kQfU8krtFg8jvNE3CjtWcd1pEIyKOJZ2Kq1A0SQV7k-IvP84ioI9J4fq6o7y984537VPux4JxEgXeuU4N0mMF-LPKV0cUnZQssWVr4q4qAlPFxXfTe6FG0aEPxqdXYdaSILUtzpvyXwJuOjfniyuXJTXrQFXuq9dKzHEzki4iVcYn81Fz-g_cVCHR_xNSqg2FU4N7gAthQ55qUS74Itfw5WWM0Ew9HMDW2Y.UydnfNGdnbDYWEO9oEaKfgNHXQQGcnMwFPDC2ZY5RYM&dib_tag=se&keywords=adhd+users+manual&qid=1743954684&sprefix=adhd+us%2Caps%2C1279&sr=8-1

People pleasing isn’t just a personality quirk, it can be a deeply ingrained survival strategy, especially for ADHDers who grew up masking, over apologizing, or craving external validation. In this episode, we dive deep into how ADHD impacts people pleasing in the bedroom, where saying ”yes” when we mean ”maybe” or ”no” happens more often than we realize. You’ll gain a stronger ADHD informed lens on your sexual and emotional experiences, learn why your brain might default to over-accommodating, and discover practical, shame free ways to reconnect with your desires. We’re talking scripts, boundary setting tools, and communication shifts that actually work with your ADHD brain, instead of against it. This episode is your permission slip to stop abandoning yourself in intimate moments and start showing up authentically, awkwardly, and powerfully.

Desire is a powerful force in our intimate lives, and when you add ADHD into the mix, understanding it becomes even more crucial. In this episode, I sit down with Natassia Miller to dive deep into all things desire from what it is, the common misconceptions, and how hormones influence our experiences. We’ll also discuss the role of communication in navigating intimacy and explore creative ways to make playtime more inviting. Whether you have ADHD or love someone who does, this episode is packed with insights to help you better understand and embrace desire in your relationships. For more information on Natassia: IG: https://www.instagram.com/natassiamiller Website: https://www.wonderlust.co Intimacy Deck (Use code LEANN15): https://www.wonderlust.co/intimacy-card-deck Art of Sexual Desire Masterclass: https://www.wonderlust.co/desire-masterclass

In this episode, we’re diving into the fascinating connection between ADHD, BDSM, and sensation seeking. If you’ve ever wondered why your ADHD brain craves intensity, novelty, and deep sensory experiences, this one’s for you! We’ll explore how BDSM can provide the structure, stimulation, and dopamine rush that many ADHDers naturally seek, whether it’s through impact play, power dynamics, or sensory exploration. Shockingly, there is no published research directly examining the link between ADHD and BDSM....yet. My upcoming research could be the first to shine a light on this connection and what it means for ADHDers exploring kink. In this episode, we’ll break down the myths, discuss the importance of consent and communication, and share how embracing your unique wiring can lead to a more fulfilling sex life.