Has seeking validation left you feeling like you've lost yourself? In this powerful episode, I, Tiffany Williams, Self-Confidence Coach and host of The She's Brave Podcast, unpack the hidden cost of people-pleasing and validation-seeking. What starts as a way to gain acceptance and avoid rejection often turns into a cycle of self-abandonment, resentment, and loss of identity. You’ll learn how to recognize when you’re measuring your worth by external standards like your job, relationships, or accolades. Tiffany shares real-life signs of validation-seeking, from avoiding confrontation to conforming just to fit in. She also offers a practical mindset shift that can help you begin reconnecting with your authentic self. If you’re tired of performing for approval and ready to step into peace, self-trust, and true belonging, this episode is your invitation. Subscribe, leave a review, and share with someone who needs this encouragement today. Visit www.aworthyjourneytc.com for more resources and to book a self-esteem coaching session. 🩷

Do you ever feel like you have to keep it all together just to be liked, accepted, or seen as "good enough"? This week on The She’s Brave Podcast, we’re exploring a quiet struggle so many people-pleasers and “nice girls” face...   The pressure to appear perfect while silently battling emotional overwhelm inside.   In this heartfelt episode, I dive deep into the hidden cost of wearing a brave face and the transformational power of vulnerability and authenticity. You'll learn:   ✨ Why we’ve been conditioned to hide “negative” emotions like anger, guilt, and sadness✨ How to recognize the subtle ways you may be trying to control how others see you✨ The importance of “good rejection” and how it can lead to deeper connection✨ Practical steps to start embracing your true self: flaws, feelings, and all   If you're ready to take off the mask and build a life filled with real connection and self-respect, this episode is your invitation.    Subscribe, leave a review, and share with someone who needs this encouragement today.   Visit www.aworthyjourneytc.com for more resources and to book a self-esteem coaching session.

In this heartfelt episode of The She’s Brave Podcast, we’re continuing our powerful conversation about people pleasing, where it comes from, how it grows, and why it feels so hard to stop. I unpack how early experiences with praise, criticism, and emotional feedback from parents, teachers, and society at large can shape our sense of worth and identity.   If you’ve ever struggled to speak up, felt anxious about disappointing others, or tied your value to being the "good girl," this episode will feel like a deep exhale. You’ll learn:   ✨ Why people pleasing isn’t your fault✨ How your brain links praise with approval and survival✨ The hidden cost of conforming to be accepted✨ Steps to begin reclaiming your voice and confidence   This is more than a mindset shift—it’s a journey back to your authentic self.   Listen, reflect, and take the first brave step toward freedom.   Visit www.aworthyjourneytc.com for more resources and to book a self-esteem coaching session.

Hey Brave Ones! It's Tiffany here, and today we're digging into something that so many of us struggle with: people-pleasing. Have you ever found yourself feeling anxious just at the thought of saying "no"? Or maybe you wonder why setting boundaries feels so natural for others but leaves you feeling overwhelmed? In this episode, I’m taking you back to the root of people-pleasing. We're going to explore how early experiences and beliefs shaped your tendency to put others first, even at your own expense. I'll share some of the most common messages I hear from my clients, like feeling responsible for others' emotions, believing your worth has to be earned, or fearing abandonment if you show your true self. If you've ever questioned why you struggle to put yourself first, this episode is for you. Let's uncover the why so we can start building that confidence from the inside out. Trust me, you’re not alone on this journey. Tune in, reflect, and be sure to share this episode with someone who needs to hear it!

What is confidence, really? And how do you know if yours is healthy, needs a little TLC, or could use a full-on confidence reboot? In this episode, we’re breaking down what confidence actually is and what it’s not. We’ll talk about the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem (spoiler: they’re related, but not the same thing) and explore what healthy confidence looks like in everyday life. We’ll also unpack some common warning signs that your self-esteem might need attention, like feeling “less than” others, battling a loud inner critic, struggling to set boundaries, or falling into people-pleasing patterns. If you’ve ever wondered whether self-confidence coaching could help you feel more grounded, empowered, and authentic, this episode is for YOU. Because at the end of the day, real confidence isn’t about perfection - it’s about self-respect, self-love, and showing up as your true self.

Thinking about working with a confidence coach but not sure what to expect? In this episode, I walk you through some of my favorite self-confidence coaching tools that I use with clients to help them build self-esteem, overcome people-pleasing, and step into their most authentic selves.   You'll learn about: ✔️ The Wheel of Life – a powerful tool for assessing different areas of your life✔️ The Values Assessment – how aligning with your values can bring clarity and confidence✔️ The Bravery Ladder – a step-by-step approach to confronting fears and showing up authentically   If you're ready to break free from self-doubt and start trusting yourself, this episode is for you! Tune in now and take the first step toward a more confident YOU. 

Are you exhausted and want to run away just to take care of yourself?   To have just a little bit of time and peace for yourself? And Valentine's Day is just the day to take that break and show yourself some love. Well, this episode is for you.    Love is in the air, it's February and you either love it or hate it. Valentine's Day may be a day you love to celebrate, and you are excited to give and receive candy and chocolates. Going out to a nice candlelit dinner in a dress that makes you feel your best, and spending it with the person or people you love, whether that is a significant other, friend, child, or yourself. Or you might hate it and the commercialization of love, the pressure to give the right gift, or just sadness that you maybe don’t have a significant other to celebrate with.    The new trend has been Galentines, where women celebrate with their best girlfriends or even a self-care day.    Now, I love love. Love is my thing, It is one of the most essential things for life. I think we, at times, misunderstand love though.   If I asked you how you love yourself, what would you say? I imagine you thinking of bubble baths and taking days off work to rest, getting yourself some flowers, treating yourself to a trip to the mall, getting a nice relaxing massage, or taking yourself to your favorite restaurant. I’m relaxed just thinking about it. Wouldn’t we all love a day full of such indulgence and relaxation, I know I would.    These are ways we can show ourselves love, however, these are just the tip of the iceberg, things we can do on the surface.   When we look deeper, self-love and self-care are these daily deeper, more intentional choices we make. They might not always be pretty or easy for that matter, but it will take you out of this yo-yo feeling of constantly feeling like you’re running on empty and these surface-level self-care things just not cutting it.    For a more permanent solution, try these... because true self-love requires us to sometimes do hard things and fight for ourselves.    Self-love requires honesty…   Self-love requires us to be honest about what we want and need. And not what we think we want or need or what we should want or need, but truly what helps us foster a sense of self-care and being taken care of. To take care of ourselves, we first need to look at what it is we need to take care of ourselves daily. That means being honest about when we’re tired and need to take a break, and when we are not able to show up emotionally and physically for others, and the people and things we need in our lives to feel supported and taken care of. What is it that you need?   Self-love requires us to set boundaries...   Self-love requires us to say no in order to honor what we want and need. To honor our energy, not run ourselves into the ground, and give away more than we have, we have to set boundaries. That means also being ok with disappointing others when we set our boundaries, say no, and put into action what truly takes care of us.   Self-love requires us to let others lend a hand...   Self-love acknowledges that things aren’t all on us. We don’t have to hold it all in or hold it together and do and be everything to everyone. To truly take care of ourselves requires us to take off the mask and ask for help, let others know that we can’t do it alone and need their help. This sometimes is the hardest part of self-care. In letting ourselves and our struggles fully be seen, by showing up and being real about our struggles, and leaning on others for support, it brings us closer to us and our needs being met.   With self-confidence coaching, these are the hard things I help my clients do every day. To have true self-care and self-love is an amazing feeling and a freedom that requires you to show up daily to support what you want and need. Love is a choice that you make day to day in each choice and action you take. A choice to take care of you.   If you have a hard time showing you

On this episode of She’s Brave we’re joined by Celena McBryde, a heart healing speaker, coach, author, and the visionary woman behind The Introverts Heart. Celena is dedicated to helping individuals elevate their lives with that "EXTRA" and transform an ordinary existence into an EXTRAordinary journey. She’s also the founder of the Hearties fellowship group, where she brings people together virtually to combat loneliness and offer support, hope, and encouragement.   Even though Celena is an introvert, she knows what it’s like to become too isolated—and the unhealthy coping mechanisms it can lead to. Finally, she said “yes” to what God had been calling her to do, and everything changed. She started reaching out to others and realized how much they were in need of the connection and compassion she was looking for too.   It may not seem like it when you first meet her, but Celena has been through a lot in her life. She’s been through rehab and substance abuse issues, she’s gotten a DUI, and she spent a lot of time looking for validation from other people.   But if anything, her experiences have taught her that your experiences don’t define you. It’s what is in your heart that matters. You are enough, and you don’t need to earn it, even if you are different from those around you.   Just because introverts don’t say something doesn’t mean they don’t see or understand what’s going on. Learning to express herself and stand up for what she needs has helped her curb her people pleasing behaviors, and she encourages others who struggle in the same way to put themselves first too.     Connect with Celena   Website: www.introvertsheart.com   Social media (Instagram, FB, YouTube, TikTok): @TheIntrovertsHeart  

Are you tired of feeling like people walk all over you or that your needs aren't important? How often do you ask for what you want? Or does the thought of that makes you want to go running for the hills.  Continuing on with our stepping out of your comfort zone theme for this month, I want to talk about asking for what you want and more specifically how to ask for what you want.    Blog Post: www.aworthyjourneytc.com/blog/how-to-ask-for-what-you-want Book Complimentary Call:https://calendly.com/tiffanywilliamsawj/complimentary-consultation

We’ve all been there, had the pit in our stomach when we wanted to speak up, let someone know that they’ve crossed the line, or ask for what we want. But we rationalize not speaking up  in our head, “It’s not a big deal, “ “I’m overreacting”, or “It’s not worth all the trouble”. We make ourselves believe that it's just a one-time thing or that the other person will respond negatively. You have so much anxiety about the whole thing so you keep quiet and don’t say anything. And of course, with all the mental hubbub going on in your head, most people would brush these things off. But where has that led you?

If you’ve followed along on this insecurity series then you know we’ve talked about what insecurity is, and where it may have come from, and now for our final post, we’re talking about how to overcome low self-esteem and insecurities.   Let’s Connect!: Website: www.aworthyjourneytc.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/aworthyjourneytc Blog: www.aworthyjourneytc.com/blog/ Book a Complimentary Call: https://calendly.com/tiffanywilliamsawj/complimentary-consultation

Ok if you’ve read my posts about signs of insecurity you’re probably wondering what in the heck are the causes of insecurity and what do you do about it. Again, follow along this month as we break the last question down but for now, let's talk about what causes insecurity.    Let's Connect!: Website: www.aworthyjourneytc.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/aworthyjourneytc Blog: www.aworthyjourneytc.com/blog/ Book a Complimentary Call: https://calendly.com/tiffanywilliamsawj/complimentary-consultation

Ever had that knot in your stomach, overwhelmed, anxious, sweating, unsure feeling? If so, you my friend have experienced being insecure. Insecurity can be a fleeting feeling, one that just comes around every now and then or it can be something that has become ingrained, deeply entrenched in you, and wreaking havoc on your life, your self-esteem, and your goals.  If you fit in the latter description then this post is for you and the next few weeks are for you because we’re not only going to be answering questions like, “What is insecurity?” but why do you feel insecure, and what can you do about it.

In today's episode, I welcome guest Charmaine Moore. Charmaine is here to talk about building confidence, learning to be brave, and what it takes to transform your life. She is the founder of Face of Hope and Beauty Lifestyle Coaching.  In addition to that, Charmaine is also a wife, mother, inspirational speaker, self-love queen, and advocate for suicide prevention. Her mission is to empower women to stand in pace and power while enjoying the life that they live. She shares openly and honestly about a pivotal point in her life in 2014, two days before Mother's Day, when a decision she made changed her life profoundly. Charmaine understands first-hand how challenging learning to love yourself can be. She has experienced depression, anxiety, rejection, and abandonment, as well as physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. As a suicide survivor, she aims to help other women through Face of Hope and Beauty to transform their lives. She shares the tools that she has found helpful in this transformation, such as showing yourself grace, using affirmations, seeing a therapist, practicing self-acceptance, and more. It's important to know that you don't have to be perfect, and to give yourself permission not to be. Part of being brave is vulnerability, and vulnerability is accepting the parts of yourself that aren’t perfect. Be brave enough to show all parts of yourself. Charmaine wants to reaffirm that you matter, and she encourages you to remind yourself of that. You can redefine yourself and write your own story. Reach out to someone you trust if you need help.   Connect with Charmaine: Website: https://faceofhopeandbeauty.com Instagram: @faceofhopeandbeaty   Connect with Tiffany: Website: https://www.aworthyjourneytc.com/ Instagram: @aworthyjourneytc   Disclaimer: In today’s podcast we talk about suicide, suicide ideations and thoughts of suicide. If this is something you struggle with this interview may be triggering for you and you may want to skip this episode. Reach out to a mental health counselor or the below resources for support if this is something that you struggle with as well.   Suicide Prevention Hotline: 988 Suicide Prevention Website: https://988lifeline.org/ Find A Therapist- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us   Solo Trip: If interested, complete the below form if you are interested in stepping out of your comfort zone and doing a solo trip.   https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfGJ28YWYJRoDM3o9Mkt_E7X0PrCqgg-WHJXckA6K8RlR_lAg/viewform?usp=sf_link

Girl alright so I didn't want to get started on this subject but I will. There is so much going around about confidence. We get advice like, ‘Fake it until you make it’ ‘Stand up tall’ ‘Walk into the room like you own it’  ‘All you need is the perfect outfit and makeup’  “Its all the shoes, what shoes you wear is an indicator of how much money you make”.    And this is all wrong. And it leads us to believe that as long as our external appearance is taken care of and we're “pretending” to be confident then we will.  Yes, when you look good you do feel good and yes some of these things will help be SUPPLEMENTS to your confidence, but they aren't the foundation. Sorry in advance for the rant I’m about to make.   Want me to tell you what actually builds our confidence?  It is knowing and OWNING who you are, speaking your mind, and letting others know your thoughts, feelings, and opinions. It's speaking up and standing by your own thought and opinions even when others disagree and it may be scary to speak up. It's having boundaries, limits, and standards for yourself. It is living your values and honoring them day to day in your daily actions, words, and behaviors. It is being assertive and standing up for your right to be who you are, respected, loved, and honored as you are now.    It is creating your own path and trusting yourself that you will catch yourself if you fail. It is knowing your worth is not tied to anything or anyone external to you. It is knowing that only you and no one else can validate your worth. It is speaking up and showing up for yourself every single day. It is showing who you are to others even when it feels scary, vulnerable or you fear rejection. It is expressing and honoring your wants and needs. It is being kind to yourself and giving youse self grace. It is knowing that what you think and feel about yourself is the ONLY opinion that matters. It is taking risks. It is having integrity.    And it's not a quick fix or overnight success, It takes work and practice. It takes failing and falling but never giving up on yourself. It takes persistence. It is a continuous process and by no means easy. But is possible and with practice, you can get there.   I know because I’ve gone through this journey myself and each and every day provides me an opportunity to practice the things above. The things we don't realize is that each time we make a decision it can hurt or help our self-esteem, and what we believe about our own self-worth. What will you choose? Will you choose superficial confidence or real, deep, lasting satisfied confidence? I know what I chose and continue to choose.    

Welcome to She’s Alive to Thrive. I'm Tiffany, therapist and certified confidence coach. These lessons I share are all the little nuggets of information I have learned, relearned, or have been helpful for my clients who are on their journey to being self-respecting, self-loving, strong women.    Alright, so today I want to talk about one surprising thing that has really been a boost to self-trust. And of course, having self-trust is a building block to building confidence. But first I want you to think about this friend. Think about a friend who always breaks their promises to you, who doesn’t show up for you when they said they will, who lies, and who is inconsistent with their actions and words. How would you feel about a friend like that? What would you think? Would you trust them? Or would you think to yourself “Yeah right”, “I won’t get my hopes up” I’ll believe it when I see it”?   And I want you to think about yourself. Have you done any of these? Just like your closest friends and family earned your trust, and in fact, they could lose it or do things that make you question your trust in them, it's the same with you. What does your track record look like with yourself? What do you think about the things that you promise to yourself and the word that you make to yourself? Would you like you as a friend to yourself if they behaved the way you behave towards you?   We don’t sometimes realize how much our own actions speak volumes to us and the more and more we behave in certain ways towards ourselves then it becomes not only who we think we are but also we are set a negative reputation with ourselves. And these actions can either build the trust we have within ourselves or break it.   So how can you begin to trust yourself more you say? It comes down to keeping your word. Keeping the promises you made to yourself, honoring your word to yourself as much as your word to someone else. Proving to yourself that your word to yourself is just as valuable and you are just as valuable as someone else.    So today is a call to keep your word and honor the word that you gave to yourself. When I sat down to write a post or email I realized that I wasn't always consistent. I sometimes brushed it off like it could wait or that other things took priority. I sometimes felt because I was the only one holding myself accountable that it didn't matter because I was the only one I had to answer to. Or I would make up an excuse for why it didn’t matter.   It didn't occur to me that every time I sat down or didn’t that I was reinforcing a belief or behavior that either would help me or hurt me. The more I didn't show up the more I believed I was just lazy or didn't have the will to do it or even maybe that it wasn't the right thing to be doing.    Now I know that it's much more important than that. Every time I show up and do what I set out to do I’m showing myself that I can trust my word. That I can trust that I will follow through for myself. Thay my word to myself is important and just as important as my word to anyone else. So here are a few steps to start practicing this.    I want you to schedule something in your calendar that you've been putting off. Something small, something that will take less than an hour. And in this process, I want you to acknowledge and accept any resistance that comes up when it comes time to do it. Be kind to yourself in this process and know that some days you may feel like it and others you won't but you can be kind and understanding to yourself in the process anyway. Then I want you to do it. Then rinse and repeat. See how you feel about your word a week from now after continuously showing up for yourself and keeping your word to yourself.    I want to hear from you. How will you honor your word to yourself this week? If this is something you struggle with I would love to have a quick chat to see what’s really getting in your way. Until next time Tiffany

No matter who we are, we all do it. We compare our situations to others, we compare what we have, how we look, and who we are with other people. And this can lead to feelings of jealousy, insecurity, or in some cases inspiration.   And when you compare yourself to someone else it usually leaves you feeling not good enough, yearning for more. However, the more you compare yourself, the worse you feel about yourself. With each new person comes something different you can change, better you could be, and something different you could become.   But how do you break this cycle? How can you strive for excellence while still being appreciative and content with who you are? There are a few things I want to point out first.    We are all so different   I think we forget or don't acknowledge how different we all are. All our lives and who we are are tailor-made to each of us based on our values, preferences, experiences, desires, goals, and priorities.    When we look at someone or their life we are looking at a life that they created for them based on what they want and what they value. Your life is created based on what you want and value. It's unfair and unbalanced to compare someone else's life to yours because they can be so vastly different based on who you are and what you want.    What they have might look nice but does it align with what you value and what you want your life to look like? If you had all the time, energy, and resources to do the things that they are doing would you? Or would it feel like a big waste of time or a chore?    One thing I hear a lot is when people see others on social media on lavish vacations. They look at this person with envy(understandably so because who wouldn't want to be on a beautiful island instead of working in a cubicle) and wish they could be able to do the same.    Now think about you and your style. If you had all the resources in the world, would you want to spend 8 hours traveling, and save thousands of dollars for a year or more to be able to afford an island vacation, do you even like beaches, or do you prefer the mountains, what does your best vacation look like? And the list can go on.    What it comes down to is how does this fit with who you really are, what you really want, and are you willing to put in the work necessary to get that?  If no, then there may be something that is better suited for you, and no need to compare. We can acknowledge the beauty of it without it making us feel worst about ourselves. If yes, then how can we help you get closer to what you really want? You will never be happy when you compare   When you compare yourself with someone else you will never be happy. There is always something to strive for or someone who has something that you don’t. The more you compare the more focused you are on what you don't have, how someone is “better”, and what is wrong.    And when we focus on the negative after a while that's all our brain will see. You won't see the beauty that you do have that someone else doesn’t or the things that make you special and unique.    You won’t see the things that you do have that others don't, the things that you actually admire and appreciate about yourself. How can you strive to be the best and most authentic version of yourself and strive for excellence in who YOU  are?    Instead of trying to be like someone else or have what they have. How can you turn that attention and focus on yourself to be the best version of yourself or maybe even get to know yourself enough to know what will make you happy?    A better solution   A better solution is to figure out who you are, and what you ACTUALLY want, and make a plan for getting the things that will actually fulfill you.    When you chase after the things that other people have you are chasing an image, an ideal, and sometimes a desire. But how will these things actually fulfill you, make you feel happy and grateful?    Focus on the things that actually bring you happiness

If you’ve read my previous post, on how to create boundaries in relationships then you may be wondering now that you know what your personal limits are, how do you express to others your newfound limits and boundaries?    I want to preface this by saying if this is new for you or if you’ve had loose boundaries before with others it is completely normal to be nervous and maybe even a little doubtful about not only creating boundaries but enforcing them as well. Think about it, if you've spent a large majority of your time letting people do and say what they want, of course, it would be difficult to change the habit and dynamic.   With that being said now that you have created your new limits how do you enforce them with others?    As a preliminary step, I want you to get real with yourself about what you hope to gain by building stronger boundaries. Are you hoping for greater self-respect and peace, stronger relationships, balance in relationships, and pride in yourself by standing up for yourself? Don’t skip this step because it is essential. How will your life and the way you feel about yourself be different? How will your relationships be different? Ok, got it? Good, now on to how do you enforce boundaries with those around you?   Ok, the first thing to remember is that your boundaries are about YOU your limits, and what you feel comfortable with. They are the things you want to put in place to not only take care of yourself but also get your needs met. When verbally expressing them to others they should be stated calmly, short and simple. Keep in mind that this is not a debate with the other person or a compromise of what they think your limits should be. They simply are your limits and what you need. With that being said, here are a few examples of how you can enforce your boundaries with others.    Scenario: A family member calls you during work hours when you are unavailable. Your need: Minimal personal interruptions during work hours Boundary: “Hey, I’m not available between 9am-5pm during the week, I’ll call you when I get off work”   Scenario: A friend is consistently late when you have dinner dates  Your need: Your time to be taken into consideration, your friend to arrive on the agreed upon time or them to communicate when they will be late  Boundary: “Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve run late for a few of our dinners. Can you let me know when you’ll be late?”    Scenario: A co-worker is inquiring about your salary Your need: You want to keep your finances personal Boundary: “Hey, I don’t discuss my finances at work”.   The first thing I want you to realize, from PsychCentral, is that this is not to tell people that they are wrong, bad or what they should do. This is a statement of what you will do, what you want, and how you will behave if this person behaves a certain way. Remember the only person you can control is yourself. You are not responsible for anyone else's actions or their response to your boundary.  Also, their response has nothing to do with you.  Consequences   Alright, now let's say you’ve set the boundary, made your intentions clear, and what you want. After you’ve clearly and calmly expressed what you want if others continue to disregard your needs, then your next step is action. As I've mentioned before, the only person you can control is yourself. Which leads me to consequences. If this person continues to push or not respect the limits that you’ve created, what will be the consequence? That could look like a number of things. That could mean you no longer answer their calls(in the case of telling others you are unavailable), locking your office door, or putting a do not disturb note on your door(to prevent interruptions), it could be disengagement and letting the other person know you can continue when calm(in the case of someone speaking to you in a manner that makes you feel icky), or flat out ending or limiting contact in cases where your boundaries continue to be disregarded. Whether y

I am talking to Victoria Blaire Svensson today, a former nurse who transitioned into a new career as a full-time boudoir photographer in Cleveland. Victoria loves providing a boudoir experience that opens the door for women to explore and embrace different sides of themselves completely free of judgment. Boudoir provides an opportunity for people to be open and vulnerable. The session is a space for clients to step outside of their comfort zone, grow, and come out the other side with amazing photos. Victoria’s boudoir style is laid back, intimate, and natural. She loves creating an experience that utilizes dark and moody settings, loungewear, and personality where she works to show women their own beauty. The best part about a boudoir photo shoot is truly embracing the whole experience and is a really empowering experience. Victoria loves popping champagne and playing fun music for her clients. She’s also not afraid to get on the other side of the camera and get a feel for what her clients are going through so she can make their experience that much more comfortable. Many clients arrive at a photoshoot with nerves, and that’s normal. Victoria is there to reassure her clients and guide them through the process with posing tips and a relaxed atmosphere — she’ll even help you nail the sultry expressions. All you have to do is bring yourself. Listen to today’s podcast to hear more about boudoir and how it can help you grow your confidence.     Connect with Victoria!: Website: https://www.boudoirvb.com/ Instagram: @vblaire_photography   Let’s Connect!:   Website:https://www.shesalivetothrive.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesalive2thrive Podcast: https://www.shesalivetothrive.com/podcast/

My dear my dear, today I want to talk about something that is so important for your mental health and the health of your relationships. The thing that will either have you feeling empowered and in control of your relationships or like a complete doormat. If you didn’t guess it, today we’re talking about boundaries.    If you’re feeling disrespected, walked over, small, or taken advantage of them I had you in mind when creating this.   So if you aren’t familiar with boundaries and either weren’t taught or didn’t see other authority figures in your life having clear, straightforward boundaries then this may be something you’ve struggled with in your relationships and had no idea why.    The lack of boundaries in our relationships can leave us feeling like we have the lower hand in relationships and essentially take or accept any behavior from others.   So before I give you a few starting points on how to create boundaries what are they in the first place.   Boundaries are:   The personal limits you set for yourself The standards or expectations on how you want to be treated  The things you have in place to allow you to protect yourself and have your own back  A form of self-care and a way of taking care of yourself    Boundaries can look like… I don’t take phone calls during work hours  I will not allow anyone who is unkind to be in my life and space  I have to have sufficient alone time to refresh  I will not accept physical or emotional abuse from anyone in my life  I prefer not to be hugged by strangers  Kisses are acceptable after the first date only  I don’t loan money to others    Anything that makes you feel safe, and comfortable, and in alignment with your values. And literally, they can be anything.   The thing is everyone’s boundaries are different and they are based on our personal needs and preferences.    So if you find yourself feeling unsafe, uncomfortable, and irritable, chances are a boundary of yours has been crossed.    So what are the first steps to creating and maintaining boundaries?   Figure out what works for you. As I mentioned our boundaries are all very personal to us. So what might not be ok for your friend might be acceptable to you. It’s based on what YOU feel most comfortable with. Using the above figure out what your limits or standard are for how you would like to be treated and what would make you feel respected, safe, and comfortable. That can look like some items from the list above or something completely different  Enforce the boundary. Here is where the work comes in. You have to let people know what is and what is not ok with you. And yes, I know this part can be scary. Especially creating new boundaries in a relationship that is established. And I can’t promise you that there won’t be any resistance to the boundaries you set. But keep in mind this is for you and to make sure you are comfortable/take care of yourself.   Setting boundaries and limits can be any number of things. And I’ll be talking about that in the following post.   For now, think about how you can take better care of yourself and what boundaries would help support you in that goal?   If you like this or it was helpful, send it to a friend who you think it might help. And for more support on confidence sign up for email to get more personalized content.