In this episode I teach you the 3 guiding principles, questions really, that I use to keep myself firmly in the drivers seat of my own one and precious life. I use these every single day in my conversations with, well, just about anyone, but in an official and solicited setting with my clients in mentoring and therapy.
They will help you reconnect with your inner world, your true self to hear who you truly are, what you really want and give you insight into how you might create it.
So if you are in a space where you feel on autopilot, feel lost or numb or you notice just how much you say yes when you really want to say no or if you feel completely bereft of dreams and goals and joy you will want to listen to this episode.
If you want to go further with this work I am opening up my group coaching program - INIMITABLE on October 24th for a small group to work through this process in a safe and structured space. Joining this program will offer you space and time for deeper self-reflection and listening. It will open you up to your creativity and truth and it will help you see a new way forward. I hope you will join us.
Carlie xx
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This episode is a reading of my latest SubStack article called "Blood is thicker than water but it can also leave unwanted stains and sticks like shit." You can read that HERE and join my community over there for long form writing and my weekly 'Make Life Wonder-Filled" wrap ups as I notice the good, the wonderful and the amazing in the world.
Deciding to cut off a family member is not an easy decision and I wish more people would give grace and compassion to those who do. It's a layered and deep topic and such an individual journey.
I share in this episode some of my learnings after deciding to put myself before some family relationships, taking the space and quiet I needed to heal and decide who I was and how you can get to a place where you grieve for what you do not have with your family and also accept it for what it is.
If you are struggling with your family of origin and know it's time to set some boundaries or take some space I hope this episode gives you some insights and a reality check of what it's going to be like. I recommend seeking out support from a therapist or trained professional.
If this brings up anything that you feel you need support with please call any of the mental health support lines in your area. Here in Australia that would be Beyond Blue 1300 224 636 or LifeLine 13 11 14
I would love to hear how this episode lands for you.
Carlie
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As I currently traverse the experience of raising a tween I am calling on some powerful education and experience that I am so grateful to have received earlier on in my career as a social worker. My life seems to include a lot of deep breathing, biting my lip and choosing my battles, and let’s be honest…. Doubting and over-analysing all the decisions I have ever made as parent up until this point! Yep we are IN.IT.
The tween years begin around 9 yrs old and it is a time of great change internally for our young people. Around this time you hear parents exclaim ‘where has my child gone!?” As they no longer recognise their young person amongst the eye rolls, foot stomps, grunts and potentially poor decisions.
There is a reason for these changes and learning about them will *hopefully give you a sense of solace and some really great tools to help yourself and your young person through this time.
In this episode I teach you about Brain Pruning and how essentially your 15-20% of your child’s brain is closed for renovations for many years. I also share some tips on how I am getting through this with a long-term focus on maintaining connection and communication over their teenage-hood.
It’s most certainly a ride, for them and us. I hope this gives you some hope for them and some practices for staying sane and available to them. There are resources below that have at times felt like a lifeline for me so please go and equip yourself with knowledge from those who have gone before you.
If this helps in some way I hope you hit subscribe and let me know what your parenting challenges are so I can create more of this content for you.
Big love,
Carlie
Resources
From Boys to Men and Girlhood - Maggie Dent https://www.maggiedent.com/product-category/books/
Raising Resilient and Compassionate Children - Lael Stone https://laelstone.com.au/
Brainstorm - Dr Dan Siegel books https://drdansiegel.com/books/
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How often do we talk about the things we want to do, be, have, achieve and experience without actually doing the things we need to do to make it happen?
So many people think talking, thinking and sharing about 'the thing' we want is actually working on it. It's not.
In this episode I introduce you to 'the thing' that has been omnipresent in your life, lurking, following you, whispering or screaming at you probably for many years, decades or for your entire life. It's the thing that you are obsessed with, fascinated by and probably spent many hours of your life lost in when you were younger.
For me it's writing and reading books. I am a true bibliophile, reading and writing were my absolute favourite things to do as a small girl and into my adolescence. It lost it's shine when it became about making grades and being marked as 'good' or 'not good' by others. Now in my 40's I am bringing it back! I am allowing the obsession to flow and intentionally carving out time to hone this skill, play and experiment and focus, with grit and perseverance. I am putting myself in the chair to fail and flop around and I am loving it. Nothing great happens without effort and determination. Are you ready to say yes to 'the thing' in your heart you really want to have?
I would love to hear what it is so please let me know via DM in Insta or on my Substack writing.
Carlie xx
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Last year I pulled myself out of the - dodgy, never-ever-enough, 'just manifest it', no real substance to coaching - waters I found myself in, dried off and reconnected with the legacy I want to leave.
This is a story I am hearing from so many people in my circles so I wanted to share mine.
Part 2 offers some solutions to this rampant industry issue so please listen in to that one.
If you have experienced the downside of the unregulated online coaching profession and need a chat I am always here. Send me a DM or an email and i will be sure to get back to you.
Carlie xx
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Last year I pulled myself out of the - dodgy, never-ever-enough, 'just manifest it', no real substance to coaching - waters I found myself in, dried off and reconnected with the legacy I want to leave.
This is a story I am hearing from so many people in my circles so I wanted to share mine.
Part 2 offers some solutions to this rampant industry issue so please listen in to that one.
If you have experienced the downside of the unregulated online coaching profession and need a chat I am always here. Send me a DM or an email and i will be sure to get back to you.
Carlie xx
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In this episode I explore the current social discourse that tells parent's that they need to take their kids to see an 'expert' at the first signs of distress and challenge.
Parents have been disempowered over the last 3 decades or so and it's time to shift the pendulum back. We don't always have to look outside the home for growth and support. You are more capable than you know. Once you give up power over your child's life, direction and wellbeing it can be difficult to get it back.
Parents are experts on their own children and more often than not, challenges in our children are calling us deeper into our own healing and calling us back to presence in our homes.
As always I would love to hear your views in a respectful and self-aware way so feel free to message me or comment on my Instagram post on this topic.
I always value your reviews on ITunes also!
You've got this,
Carlie xx
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This week we talk about how low mood, those flat, off kinda days, that show up in our lives from time to time and how you can support yourself through them.
This episode includes really practical tips for nourishing yourself on days that feel really hard.
I share my recent low mood day and what my 'non-negotiables' were for getting through it.
I hope you love it and it helps you in some way.
Please review or leave me a comment for how it impacted you.
Carlie xx
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I finished the audio version of Matthew Perry's book last week and it gave me such food for thought. I am such a huge Friends fan so it was mind-boggling to me to learn what our loveable Chandler Bing was experiencing behind the scenes.
I am in awe of his vulnerability in sharing his most painful and illuminating moments.
There are some powerful examples of trauma woundings in this book, in particular FEAR OF ABANDONMENT.
It is astounding how we can have experiences at such a young age that lead to lifelong un-resourceful or helpful behaviours.
Recovery from these woundings is very possible. Awareness and making connections is just the beginning.
I help people do this my Breakthrough Experiences. We untangle something you are experiencing now and go back in your timeline to find where that thought/emotion/decision was created and we work to unpick it's tension from your life.
Simple and powerful and wonderfully liberating, tears and relief are common, lightness and freedom always occur.
Have you read Matthew's book? Does this strike a chord at all?
Big love to you if you are navigating this wounding.
Carlie xx
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Trauma is a becoming a very popular word and area of exploration which makes me so happy. However we have to be very clear on what trauma is and what it isn't so we don't misunderstand what causes it, what it actually is and how we can help people recover and heal. Insta-therapists are loving calling every stressful event TRAUMA but is that accurate? Is trauma only catastrophic events and does everyone respond the same way to said events?
All great questions that I answer in this episode.
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If you don't have connection you will never have productive communication.
I used to work with some pretty scary characters as a family services worker in my 20's Carlie.
One family in particular springs to mind whenever I think about the power of Connection before Communication.
I was assigned the case of a very well-known and traumatised family who had 'gone through' dozens of workers over the years. They were the toughest of the toughest families with multi-generational violence, trauma, drug and alcohol, abuse, imprisonment.....all the things.
The parents wanted nothing to do with the support system but the system had to be involved for the children's sake.
And so I went in there, very green and looking back somewhat naive to the danger I could have easily experienced, focused on connection first.
In this episode I share how powerful connection is in experiencing helpful and impactful communication.
If this episode sparked some interest in you becoming a more powerful communicator with those in your personal relationships please join us in
Like having your therapist on speed-dial at a fraction of the investment.
Monthly rolling intakes so you can come for a month or stay for as long as you like by re-investing each month. When you apply you will be added to the next 30 day Incubator space on WhatsApp to begin on the 1st of the following month.
You bring your scenarios and conversation issues to the group, we workshop it, tweak it, script it, help you gain clarity, work through your fears and nerves in communicating and send you back to the world to practice.
Then you come back and fill us in on what you learned and experienced.
You have a small group of 4-6 women seeing you, hearing you, validating your experiences and then pushing you to get better, to elevate your expression and connection.
This experience is held and facilitated by me but co-created with you and your incubator buddies. I hope this will become an invaluable tool in your life that you lean into and use daily.
$140AU per month, paid in advance for the month you want to be in the incubator. Maximum of 6 women in each group so you don't get lost in the conversation and support. That does mean however, that you will need to interact and contribute to make the space highly valuable.
MORE INFO ON THE INCUBATOR: https://www.carlieanna.com/offers/eqo5xnRF
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After sharing a little on Instagram about my emotional and physical response to budgeting and being 'adult' about my spending so many of you asked me to share more of what we are doing right now to stay on top of rising living costs.
Your relationship with money can be a pervasive cause of stress and worry and in these uncertain economic times I believe we all need to revisit out we earn money and spend it.
Personally my family are working to reign in spending AND increase income at the same time to ensure that we survive these turbulent economic waters.
This episode covers:
- why we all need to be focused on our financial well-being right now
- how money stress impacts us emotionally and physically
- how you can set up your money conversations and dealings in a way that feels supportive and calm.
- why we have gone back to cash and envelope stuffing to be more intentional in our spending.
I would love to hear what you are doing to ensure your financial well-being. Learning from you all is such a privilege. Please feel free to reach out and let me know what you think of the episode, if it helps you and if you have any further questions.
Big love to you,
Carlie x
We are back to podcasting for 2023!
I update you on reclaiming my therapist role and title and how it's helping me stay in integrity in the services that I offer.
My plan for the podcast this year is story-based real life examples to help you navigate daily life challenges in relationships and your own revolution. I will also be sharing therapeutic approaches to help you walk yourself through your own healing. Practical and powerful is my hope!
In this episode I share some really helpful ways you can 'deal with difficult people'. Taken from some recent interactions I have had with some bristly people it is step by step what I try to do in these interactions.
Big love to you on this wild journey of life.
Carlie xx
MENTORING SPACES
2023 spaces are open for deep exploration and support on your own healing and growth journey. Bespoke Mentorship is a space that you and I create to walk you through the wild days when you feel like you are alone in your feelings, when you crave someone to gain clarity with and wish to learn from someone who has walked through the shit before you. Please book a connection call to meet and see if we are a good fit.
Read more about it here https://www.carlieanna.com/mentoring
Book a connection call here - https://calendly.com/carliehageman/connectioncall
*Raw audio from a FB Live.
I recently shared some of the more intimate and lesser known parts of my story in my FB group - The Exchange . This is part 2 after I drew a line in the sand and chose my own healing journey at 26yrs.
Let me speak to nuance and context. There was so much love and safety and goodness in my childhood also. I felt loved. I was and still am loved. Maybe not in the ways I yearn/ed to be but I am. We always live with polarity. I am grateful for all the good, how I was fed and housed and warm each night. For that I am truly blessed. I hold no ill-will to any of my family, they did and do the best they can just as I do. I am well aware of my shortcomings and things that I would go back and do differently also.
Amongst the good there were also real challenges and deep woundings, some passed down from my lineage, some created in this life.
It feels liberating to talk more openly about the hardest periods of my life as I have moved through and made peace with them.
Stories shared are important, they allow us to reflect on our own journey and connect with others. They show us the humanness of this wild ride called life. Ahhhh it's big and wondrous isn't it?
It's vulnerable and real and I hope it offers you some insight into who I am but more importantly who you are.
MENTORING SPACES
2023 spaces are open for deep exploration and support on your own healing and growth journey. Bespoke Mentorship is a space that you and I create to walk you through the wild days when you feel like you are alone in your feelings, when you crave someone to gain clarity with and wish to learn from someone who has walked through the shit before you. Please book a connection call to meet and see if we are a good fit.
Read more about it here https://www.carlieanna.com/mentoring
Book a connection call here - https://calendly.com/carliehageman/connectioncall
*Raw audio from a FB Live.
I recently shared some of the more intimate and lesser known parts of my story in my FB group - The Exchange . This is part 1, the first 26yrs.
Firstly, Let me speak to nuance and context. There was so much love and safety and goodness in my childhood also. I felt loved. I was and still am loved. Maybe not in the ways I yearn/ed to be but I am. We always live with polarity. I am grateful for all the good, how I was fed and housed and warm each night. For that I am truly blessed. I hold no ill-will to any of my family, they did and do the best they can just as I do. I am well aware of my shortcomings and things that I would go back and do differently also.
Amongst the good there were also real challenges and deep woundings, some passed down from my lineage, some created in this life.
It feels liberating to talk more openly about the hardest periods of my life as I have moved through and made peace with them.
Stories shared are important, they allow us to reflect on our own journey and connect with others. They show us the humanness of this wild ride called life. Ahhhh it's big and wondrous isn't it?
It's vulnerable and real and I hope it offers you some insight into who I am but more importantly who you are.
ACTIVATION WARNING
NOVEMBER 29th 7pm AEDT
I am holding a space for people to come and remember their humanness.
2 hours for HOME-COMING and remembrance - $20AUD
What we will share in this experience is still dropping in as I witness who is coming along and feel into what is needed at this time for you.
It will include:
Get your tickets here by signing up to my email list. https://www.carlieanna.com/email-subscribe
This episode ignites the conversation around taking time out for fun, rest and play as an adult woman. Deciding what you desire and booking it in!
I spent my 40th with 9 epic women on a wonderful weekend away. It was a mix of laughter, deep conversation, pampering, eating, dancing, coffee, shopping and lazying around chatting. Connection with women, it was perfection.
However it did bring up some interesting woundings for many and there were barriers to attending that some needed to navigate and love themselves through.
- taking time for themselves
- spending money on themselves
- hanging out with a group of women they didn't know
- group pressure (old high school stories that had not been healed)
Listen in if you have some resistance to the above! It will offer a chance for introspection.
As always I would love to hear your reactions and ah-ha moments.
Please subscribe and share away.
Big love,
Carlie xx
Anyone else had a pandemic hangover this year?
This episode is really me sharing what the last 10 months have been about in my internal world. Identity crises, black dark spirally days, being repulsed by the direction that companies like Meta are headed with the social media game. Bringing myself back to the light through introspection and discernment about where my energy is going to be placed in the future. Ultimately I am choosing to step away from socials more and more and back into real life connections and alternative community spaces.
If you would like to work with me you can choose:
1:1 Bespoke Mentorship over any time period you like.
Breakthrough Experiences - 2 session transformational healing experiences to shift a block or heal a wound.
https://www.carlieanna.com/offers/fMAfLo7B
Human Design Membership - Integrated Design
In this episode I share how a pivotal moment, that happened on a really ordinary day in an ordinary way, totally shifted the intention and energy I had around money. Which resulted in me being more present in my life and relationships, more joy, less anxiety, and ironically more money flowing into my bank account.
We explore the 3 intentions, or promises, I made to myself to shift my relationship with money.
Right now I am offering free 30 min breakthrough coaching sessions.
BOOK YOURS HERE - https://calendly.com/carliehageman/30minbreakthrough
30 mins of targeted coaching on one thought or situation you are experiencing so you can experience my life/biz coaching. You will be told about my coaching offer but will not be 'sold to' on this call ( or any call with me ever). If you want to talk about further coaching you can book a 2nd consult call to go through the details.
In this episode I want to elevate the conversation around what we 'get out' of courses, mentoring, masterminds that we invest in.
My desire with this conversation is to have us all take ownership of our expectations and choices, as well as our integrity, in what can sometimes feel like the wild west of the personal development space.
As service providers how can we set clear boundaries and expectations in our spaces.
As consumers, clients and customers how can we own our choices, use our energy in a positive way, cease the blame game and remind ourselves that our teachers are human.
I hope you get a lot out of this conversation. I would love to hear how it lands and what you might carry forward from listening.
Can I please ask that you subscribe and send a review if you love what we speak about here. It helps us creatives so so much.
Big love to you,
Remember the world needs more of you.
Carlie xx
SPACES FOR YOUR TO LEARN WITH ME RIGHT NOW
Energetics of Enterprise Immersion Landing in June
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Monthly live training is and Q and A's. Guest Speakers. Resources to help you experiment with your design.
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Carlie's FREE FB Group - The Exchange
Hey legend,
In today's riff I talk about one of the most powerful relationship tools you can utilize in your business as you engage with people from different walks of life.
The Kapman Drama Triangle. READ MORE HERE https://leadershiptribe.com/blog/the-drama-triangle-explained
I have used this tool for over 15 years when mediating families as a social worker, in my own relationships and now as I mentor women every day and hold large group containers.
When you think about clients that you clash with, mentors who mother you or online bullies you automatically place them in a role and yourself in another.
Are you the Victim, Rescuer or Prosecutor? Where do you place others in the triangle?
And how helpful is it to stay in that role?
The evolution of our communication and relational skills would see us step out of these unhealthy roles as soon as possible. That's a journey but let's start the discussion today.
Enjoy the episode. Please subscribe, review and share if you found it helpful.
Big Love,
Carlie xxxx
SPACES FOR YOUR TO LEARN WITH ME RIGHT NOW
INTEGRATED DESIGN MEMBERSHIP JOIN ANYTIME
Human Design Exploration and Integration
Monthly live training is and Q and A's. Guest Speakers. Resources to help you experiment with your design.
$33AU JOIN HERE : https://www.carlieanna.com/offers/EXFueyPz
FREE RESOURCE
Your Human Design Marketing Blueprint - Download here.
Enquire about 1:1 mentoring HERE
Carlie on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/carlieannacoach/
Carlie's FREE FB Group - The Exchange