Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen explore autism masking—the conscious or unconscious strategy used by autistic people to appear non-autistic. They clarify common misconceptions, distinguishing masking from behavioral changes and social skills. The discussion covers why people mask, the exhausting nature of constant performance, and the importance of safe spaces to unmask. Through personal examples, they examine workplace dynamics, late versus early diagnosis differences, and the balance between fitting in and authentic self-expression. The hosts emphasize that while everyone masks to some degree, autistic individuals face unique challenges navigating a world not designed for them.

Key Takeaways:

• Masking is different from learning social skills— it's driven by external pressure to conform.
• Masking requires significant energy and isn't always successful.
• Home should be a safe space for unmasking.
• Early diagnosis allows for better behavioral training and understanding.
• Late diagnosis often involves years of unconscious masking.
• Workplace accommodations can reduce masking burden.
• Not all quirky behaviors need to be masked if they're harmless.
• Masking shouldn't excuse dangerous or cruel behavior.

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Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen dive into controversial parenting topics trending on social media, examining posts about unlimited screen time for neurodivergent children, the concept of "hermeneutical injustice" in food aversion disorders, and debates around ODD versus PDA diagnoses. They critically analyze how online echo chambers reinforce potentially harmful parenting practices while discussing the importance of balanced approaches to screen time regulation and the dangers of relying on anonymous internet advice for complex childhood behavioral issues.

Key Takeaways

• Screen time as the primary regulation tool prevents children from developing healthy coping mechanisms.
• "Safe foods" that consist only of junk food aren't actually safe and require professional intervention. 
• Social media parenting groups often become echo chambers that ostracize dissenting opinions.
• ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) is a real diagnosis that shouldn't be dismissed based on internet opinions. 
• Context matters:  "Screen time" is meaningless without knowing what content is being consumed. 
• Children need variety in regulation strategies beyond screens to function as adults. 
• Professional help from occupational therapists is crucial for severe food aversion issues.
• Anonymous online advice cannot replace proper evaluation and diagnosis.

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Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen explore the concept of "speed to acceptance" when parenting autistic children. Drawing from the five stages of grief, they discuss how quickly moving through denial, anger, bargaining, and depression to reach acceptance can free parents emotionally and help them recognize their child's progress realistically. The hosts share personal stories, including Julianna's pink room painting project, and critique the well-meaning but often unhelpful "Welcome to Holland" poem. They emphasize that acceptance isn't a one-time destination but an ongoing journey requiring boundaries, self-care, community support, and realistic expectations.

Key Takeaways

1. Speed through the five stages of grief to reach acceptance faster
2. Acceptance isn't permanent—you'll cycle back through stages
3. Stuck in denial or anger? You can't make good decisions
4. Set boundaries: ignore miracle cures and judgmental people
5. Self-care must include therapy, respite, and personal time
6. Find parents you genuinely like, not just autism parents
7. "Welcome to Holland" creates false equivalencies about parenting
8. Professionals: skip the platitudes, validate grief instead
9. Grieve expectations, ask questions, make flexible plans
10. Acceptance lets you see progress realistically

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Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen dive into Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), exploring its evolution from Ivar Lovaas's pioneering work to modern practices. They address common myths and criticisms while sharing personal experiences of how ABA transformed their families. From potty training to turn-taking and communication skills, the hosts explain why ABA remains a cornerstone therapy for autistic children, how it's covered by insurance, and practical strategies for finding quality providers despite challenges from private equity investment.

Key Takeaways

• ABA has evolved significantly and no longer uses aversive techniques—modern ABA focuses entirely on positive reinforcement
• The antecedent-behavior-consequence framework helps parents understand what drives their child's behaviors
• ABA is covered by most state-regulated insurance plans, including child-only plans purchased through state exchanges
• Finding a local ABA clinic with an on-site BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst) is preferable to large corporate chains
• ABA isn't bribing—it uses temporary external motivators until natural consequences become rewarding
• Turn-taking, communication skills, and other social abilities that develop naturally in some children may require years of ABA intervention for autistic children
• Parents should practice skills learned in ABA sessions at home to reinforce progress
• The criticism that ABA makes children "less autistic" is fundamentally impossible—ABA helps children reach their full potential
• Quality ABA looks like play but involves methodical skill-building based on your child's unique interests and currency
• Social media movements opposing ABA often suggest alternatives that are actually ABA techniques with different terminology

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Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen dissect the recent presidential press conference linking Tylenol use during pregnancy to autism. They analyze the hyperbolic claims made versus the more measured official HHS statements, exploring how this continues the harmful pattern of blaming mothers for autism. The hosts examine the actual science behind acetaminophen research, discuss the problematic vaccine misinformation shared, and highlight the concerning gap between political rhetoric and medical reality. They emphasize the importance of following medical professionals' advice rather than political statements when making healthcare decisions during pregnancy.

Key Takeaways

• The official HHS statement is much more measured than the press conference rhetoric, acknowledging conflicting studies and lack of clear causal evidence.
• Current medical guidelines already recommend using acetaminophen at the lowest effective dose for the shortest duration when treating fever during pregnancy.
• Untreated fever during pregnancy poses known risks to both mother and fetus.
• Claims about mercury in vaccines are outdated—it was removed from most childhood vaccines in the 1990s.
• The folate treatment mentioned only applies to children with specific cerebral folate deficiency, not all autistic children.
• Autism rates in populations like the Amish are similar to general population rates when properly studied.
• The increase in autism diagnoses is largely attributed to better recognition, expanded diagnostic criteria, and increased access to evaluation.
• Genetic research continues to provide valuable insights into autism's causes and potential treatments.
• Parents should consult healthcare providers rather than politicians for medical advice.
• The blame-the-mother narrative continues to harm families affected by autism

Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen dive into recent autism research developments and practical family considerations. They examine new findings about four distinct autism subtypes based on genetic markers, review Time magazine's autism supplement with mixed reactions, and share honest insights about service dogs versus family pets for autistic children. The conversation covers everything from the limitations of current treatment coverage in mainstream media to real-world experiences with equine therapy and the importance of choosing the right family dog breed.

Key Takeaways

• Scientists have identified four genetically-linked autism subtypes, potentially leading to more targeted interventions
• Autism is better understood as a "stovetop" rather than a linear spectrum - different symptoms can vary independently
• Current mainstream autism treatment coverage remains disappointingly superficial, focusing on basic ABA, speech, and OT
• Service dogs are specialized and expensive; well-bred family pets often provide similar benefits
• Adult autism services have years-long waiting lists - families must advocate proactively and start planning early
• Golden Retrievers and Labs are ideal family breeds for households with autistic children • Genetic testing for autism subtypes may eventually complement traditional diagnostic methods
• Parents should focus on "squeaky wheel" advocacy for adult services and help educate other families
• Animal-assisted interventions like equine therapy can be beneficial but shouldn't replace evidence-based treatments

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Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen tackle the common "diagnose and adios" experience that leaves autism parents without guidance after diagnosis. They discuss how parents must become researchers themselves, using what they call "The Try-entific Method" to navigate off-label treatments. The hosts share personal experiences with brain stimulation therapies like MeRT and EMDR, provide practical financial advice including ABLE accounts, and emphasize that there is no cure for autism—only ways to improve function. They offer a roadmap for evaluating treatments safely while avoiding dangerous interventions.

Key Takeaways

• "Diagnose and adios" is the common experience of receiving an autism diagnosis without treatment guidance.
• Parents inevitably use off-label treatments because only two FDA-approved medications exist for autism. 
• Establish ABLE accounts immediately after diagnosis for tax-free savings on disability-related expenses.
• There is no cure for autism—focus on improving function and managing symptoms.
• Brain stimulation therapies (MeRT, TMS) show promise for comorbid conditions like OCD. 
• EMDR can help with trauma processing and anxiety reduction in autistic individuals.
• Always exhaust insurance-covered treatments first before pursuing expensive alternatives.
• Evaluate treatments critically and avoid anything promising a "cure." 
• Progress continues throughout life, even if slow—reassessment is crucial as children age. 
• Safety first: Avoid dangerous treatments like chelation therapy, hyperbaric oxygen, and restrictive diets.

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Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen dive deep into mom panic attacks—a reality many autism parents face but rarely discuss. They explore how fear of the unknown can manifest into physical symptoms and share personal experiences with managing panic attacks through professional help. The conversation then shifts to nonviolent communication (NVC), a powerful framework for understanding feelings that drive behavior, particularly valuable for autism parenting. Finally, they celebrate the viral "We Do Not Care Club,” discussing how letting go of societal expectations becomes essential for autism moms navigating judgment and prioritizing what truly matters.

Key Takeaways:

• Mom panic attacks are real and common, especially among autism parents.
• Panic attacks often stem from fear of the unknown regarding your child's future.
• Seek professional help—medication and therapy can provide significant relief.
• Nonviolent communication follows: observation, feeling, need, request.
• Feelings are primal and drive all behavior and communication.
• Addressing feelings when they arise prevents them from manifesting as panic attacks.
• The "We Do Not Care Club” encourages authenticity over people-pleasing.
• Autism parenting naturally prepares you to stop caring about others' judgments.
• Prioritizing your own wellbeing isn't selfish—it's necessary for effective parenting.
• Letting go of societal expectations frees you to focus on what actually matters.

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Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen dive into viral social media posts about autism parenting in this Cold Hard Truths episode. They examine FAFO (F*** Around and Find Out) parenting as a trendy rebrand of natural consequences, analyze complex PDA parenting scenarios including pancake requests and fast food battles, critique Autism Speaks' new legislation proposal, celebrate potty training victories, and discuss the importance of proper diagnosis. The duo provides practical perspectives on navigating autism parenting challenges while cutting through social media noise.

Key Takeaways

• FAFO parenting is simply natural consequences rebranded—avoid contrived punishments.
• Learning happens when consequences remain natural to the behavior.
• PDA accommodations that aren't working need honest evaluation and adjustment.
• Parents cannot and should not be their child's therapist—professional help is essential. 
• Proper diagnosis is the starting point, not the end goal, for understanding behaviors. 
• Consistency and persistence are crucial—some milestones take years to achieve. 
• The Autism Family Caregivers Act may reduce services rather than improve support.
• Level 3 autism and profound autism have important distinctions that matter for services. 
• Self-diagnosis in support groups without professional evaluation isn't helpful.

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Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen tackle the hot topic of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), exploring why it's not a separate condition but rather a feature of autism. They examine how social media influencers are repackaging traditional behavioral interventions under new names, share practical strategies for picking battles with resistant children, and provide actionable guidance for parents navigating PDA behaviors. The discussion emphasizes evidence-based approaches while debunking myths that can isolate families and limit access to helpful resources.

Key Takeaways

• PDA is a feature of autism, not an independent diagnosis—it cannot exist without autism.
• Many "PDA-specific" strategies are actually rebranded Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) techniques.
• Social media echo chambers can provide misleading advice and isolate families from professional help.
• Parents must prioritize battles based on safety, basic functioning, and long-term consequences.
• Sleep issues, toileting, and safety concerns should take priority over academic progress.
• Understanding autism and behavioral science is crucial for effective parenting strategies.
• Avoiding all demands can lead to regression and bigger problems down the road.
• Professional help should not be limited to "PDA-informed" practitioners only.

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This week Julianna and Kelley break down the critical differences between tantrums, meltdowns, and panic attacks—three big emotional experiences that are often confused on social media. A tantrum communicates "I want it, but I can't have it," a meltdown says "it's all too much, and I can't handle it," and a panic attack means "I'm scared, and I don't know what to do." Understanding these distinctions helps parents respond appropriately with different de-escalation techniques. The hosts share personal stories from Target trips and holiday disasters, explaining warning signs, triggers, and effective responses. They emphasize that meltdowns aren't behavioral problems to punish but communication attempts that provide valuable information about a child's needs and coping abilities.

Key Takeaways:

• Tantrums can often be redirected through negotiation and staying neutral
• Meltdowns require de-escalation, not punishment—they're already distressing for the child
• Panic attacks are fear-based and need professional intervention to address root causes
• Warning signs include tense muscles and flushed cheeks—meltdowns rarely happen without signals
• Safe restraint techniques can be necessary and therapeutic, not punitive
• Post-mortem discussions help identify triggers and prevent future episodes
• Avoiding all triggers isn't realistic—building coping skills is the long-term solution
• Your reaction as a parent sets the tone and affects the entire family

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Read this week's Refrigerator Paper: https://refrigeratormoms.com/refrigerator-papers/

Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen tackle essential parenting decisions with practical wisdom. They address medication timing concerns, explore the benefits of gene site testing for personalized treatment approaches, and distinguish between parenting instinct versus developed parenting skills. The hosts celebrate autistic joy through recent research findings, sharing personal stories about their children's special interests from lawnmowers to cake decorating. They provide a systematic decision-making framework for parents navigating complex choices while emphasizing the importance of celebrating what brings genuine happiness to autistic individuals.

Key Takeaways

• There's no universal "too young" age for medication - consult healthcare providers with specific goals in mind
• Gene site testing provides valuable DNA-based insights for medication effectiveness and metabolism
• Parenting instinct is important but must be combined with acquired skills and evidence-based decisions
• 94% of autistic people actively enjoy aspects of being autistic according to recent research
• Special interests can develop into professional pursuits and should be celebrated, not discouraged
• Autistic joy flourishes in sensory-friendly, supportive environments without masking demands
• Systematic decision-making involves identifying issues, evaluating current approaches, and considering family fit
• Barriers to autistic joy often come from non-autistic people demanding conformity
• Special interests provide powerful sources of happiness and energy for autistic individuals

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Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen tackle the challenging topic of medicating autistic children in "A Tough Pill to Swallow: Medicating Autism." They share personal experiences starting medication for their sons around ages 5–6, addressing anxiety, learning difficulties, and behavioral challenges. The episode covers the reality that while only two drugs are FDA-approved for autism (Abilify and Risperidone), over 50 medications across six drug classes are commonly prescribed off-label. They emphasize finding specialized psychiatrists, tracking data systematically, managing side effects, and viewing medication as a tool for learning and development rather than a cure.

Key Takeaways:

• Medication should be a tool supporting other therapies, not a standalone solution.
• Finding a specialized child psychiatrist or developmental pediatrician is crucial.
• Systematic data collection helps determine medication effectiveness.
• Summer is ideal for starting medication trials due to fewer variables.
• Patient advocacy and second opinions are important when progress stalls.
• Medication enables access to learning and social opportunities.
• Future treatments like folate supplementation and oxytocin show promise.

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Website: refrigeratormoms.com
Read this week's Refrigerator Paper: https://refrigeratormoms.com/refrigerator-papers/

Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen dive into real social media questions from parents navigating autism challenges. They address sibling aggression, family PTSD, finding affordable help, alternative medicine claims, medical procedures affecting regression, ABA therapy expectations, and holiday modifications. The discussion emphasizes practical solutions over simplistic advice, highlighting the importance of safety, professional support, and realistic expectations while avoiding costly programs that promise easy fixes.

Key Takeaways

• Physical aggression toward siblings requires safety measures like safe restraint, designated calm spaces, and sometimes medication
• Complex PTSD in siblings is real and treatable - have ongoing conversations and seek professional help
• Don't go bankrupt seeking help; use available resources including insurance-covered ABA, religious organizations, and community programs
• Research alternative treatments thoroughly - if you can't find evidence, it probably won't work
• Medical procedures can cause temporary regression; expect healing time and adjust expectations
• ABA therapists should provide clear programming and regular communication about goals and activities
• Modify or skip holiday gatherings that exceed your child's sensory tolerance - acceptance is key
• Ignore social media influencers selling basic parenting advice behind paywalls
• Take breaks from intensive therapies when needed, especially during summer or after stressful periods
• Use trial and error approach with consistency to find what works for your individual child

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Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen explore the controversial term "virtual autism," coined by Romanian psychologist Marius Zomfier in 2018 to describe behavioral abnormalities in children aged 0-3 exposed to excessive screen time. The discussion clarifies that virtual autism is not real autism and examines the developmental impacts of early screen exposure. Through social media posts from concerned parents, they address common fears and misconceptions while emphasizing that screen-related developmental delays are potentially reversible, unlike autism spectrum disorder.

Key Takeaways

• Virtual autism is not real autism - it's better described as a neurodevelopmental disorder due to early screen exposure
• The term refers to children 0-3 years old exposed to 4+ hours daily of tablets/phones, not TV
• Zero to three years is critical for language development and communication skills
• Virtual autism symptoms include delayed speech, limited vocabulary, avoiding eye contact, and withdrawal
• Unlike autism, virtual autism is considered "curable" by removing screen exposure
• The 0-3 age range is when children develop crucial communication foundations like pointing and seeking attention
• Parents should be honest with healthcare providers about screen time during assessments
• Educational programming like Sesame Street is preferable to entertainment-only content
• Save screens as high-value rewards for specific situations like potty training
• Focus on face-to-face interaction and real-world experiences for optimal development\

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Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen address listener feedback on the title of their episode on siblings, clarifying their intention wasn't to pit neurotypical against neurodivergent siblings, but rather show all siblings united against the challenges neurodivergence can bring to family dynamics. They discuss their recent op-ed about RFK Jr.'s autism statements, emphasizing support for productive autism advocacy while rejecting debunked vaccine theories. The conversation covers the need for standardized diagnostics, better services for severely autistic individuals, and the importance of keeping all autism levels visible in media representation. Julianna reviews the PBS show "Patience" featuring an autistic actress, and Kelley introduces the concept of "virtual autism"—screen-induced autism-like symptoms in neurotypical children under three.

Key Takeaways:

• Siblings want platforms to share their experiences living with autism.
• Vaccines don't cause autism—this is settled science.
• Standardized diagnostics need improvement.
• Severely autistic individuals are fighting for services they shouldn't have to fight for.
• Media representation often focuses on high-functioning autism, overlooking severe cases.
• "Virtual autism" describes screen-induced autism-like symptoms in young children.
• Quality autism diagnosis needs more clinical involvement and funding.
• Autism advocacy requires focusing on productive solutions over debunked theories.

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Hosts Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen welcome their own children, Ethan and Rosalie, to discuss the profound impact of growing up as siblings to neurodivergent family members. The conversation explores "glass child syndrome" - when siblings feel invisible due to the intense focus on a high-needs child. Through candid personal stories, they examine childhood anxiety, PTSD, depression, and the long journey toward healing. The siblings share what worked and what didn't in their upbringing, offering invaluable insights for other families navigating similar challenges while emphasizing the importance of communication, independence, and validation.

Key Takeaways

• 71% of siblings of neurodivergent children experience depression, anxiety, or childhood trauma
• Glass child syndrome occurs when siblings feel overlooked as parents focus on high-needs children
• Creating separate spaces, schools, and activities helps siblings develop independent identities
• Therapy readiness varies - it's okay to stop and restart different therapeutic approaches
• Micromanaging sibling relationships often backfires and creates more distance
• One-on-one time through special meals, vacations, and activities is crucial for sibling well-being
• Open communication about the neurodivergent child's diagnosis helps siblings understand and cope
• Siblings often develop heightened empathy and emotional intelligence from their experiences
• Parents must avoid getting defensive when siblings express frustration about their childhood
• Long-term healing requires validating the sibling's journey and acknowledging parental mistakes

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The Refrigerator Moms podcast relaunches with this first episode. Julianna Scott and Kelley Jensen dive deep into the pervasive issue of mom guilt that plagues autism parents. Drawing from their 20+ year friendship and experience raising autistic children, they debunk the harmful "Refrigerator Mother Theory" while offering practical strategies for managing guilt and prioritizing self-care. The duo shares personal stories, actionable advice, and evidence-based approaches to help parents move from self-blame to self-compassion. They emphasize the importance of taking care of yourself, setting boundaries, and making decisions based on your family's unique needs rather than outside pressure.

Key Takeaways

• Mom guilt is universal but particularly intense for autism parents - you're not alone
• The "Refrigerator Mother Theory" was debunked decades ago - autism is not caused by parenting
• Self-care isn't selfish - it's necessary for sustainable caregiving
• Don't make yourself indispensable - teach independence gradually
• Focus on your family's needs, not social media comparisons
• Early intervention and diagnosis provide long-term benefits for both child and family
• Seek reliable childcare and support systems - keep trying even when it's difficult
• Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd show a friend
• Avoid negative self-talk and punishment-based approaches

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