In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony sits down with Alexandra Perry, Director of Business Development for Inpatient and Virtual Programs, and former Executive Director at Trafalgar Addiction Treatment Centres. With over a decade of experience across nonprofit shelters, addiction treatment, and higher education, Alexandra brings a powerful mix of lived experience, leadership insight, and compassion to the conversation.
Together, we unpack:
The real link between workplace stress, burnout, and substance use
Why “recovery is a privilege” for some — and how that must change
The truth about hitting rock bottom and why prevention matters more than ever
How trauma, shame, and silence keep people sick
What organizations can do to create trauma-informed, supportive spaces for employees
This is a raw, human conversation about systemic change, courage, and connection — reminding us all that recovery starts with empathy and asking for help.
In this emotional and deeply relatable episode of Recovering Out Loud, host Anthony  sits down with Eryl McCaffrey, a psychotherapist and woman in long-term recovery, to explore the toxic link between body image, perfectionism, and addiction.
Eryl opens up about growing up in an alcoholic home, chasing perfection to escape pain, and how her obsession with control over her body and success masked deeper wounds.
They dive into what it means to truly let go — to stop chasing validation and start building connection, spirituality, and self-acceptance.
You’ll learn:
Why perfectionism and body image struggles often lead to addiction
How trauma disconnects us from our bodies and our emotions
What “relief” really means in early recovery
Why spiritual connection is the antidote to self-destruction
Daily recovery practices that rebuild peace, gratitude, and purpose
This conversation is for anyone stuck in the loop of not enoughness — and ready to find peace in their own skin.
If you’ve ever struggled with addiction, relapse, or finding long-term sobriety, this conversation will inspire you.
Host Anthony speaks with Allison, an intake counselor at Addiction Rehab Toronto, about her journey from active addiction to seven years of recovery. They unpack what really causes relapse, the importance of spirituality, practical tools like journaling and gratitude lists, and why sober support systems matter long after treatment ends.
You’ll hear personal experiences about triggers at social events, navigating shame, rebuilding trust with family, and how traveling and living sober can be joyful. Whether you’re new to recovery, supporting a loved one, or looking to deepen your sobriety, this episode offers hope and actionable advice.
Subscribe for more real recovery stories and tools for staying sober.
Today i sat down with Melanie Matthews, BSW, MSW, RSW Director of Clinical Programs at Canadian Addiction Treatment Centres
Melanie Matthews is a registered social worker with BSW and MSW degrees. She takes a collaborative approach to therapy and uses a person-centered approach while maintaining empathy and a non-judgemental stance.
Melanie has worked in social services and mental health since 2010 in several different areas of practice including residential treatment programs, educational settings, and not-for-profit organizations.
She uses primarily Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) in her work. She often works with youth and adult clients experiencing a range of issues, including depression, anxiety, and personality disorders.
Melanie co-authored a paper titled “A Review of Mental Health Services Offered by Canada’s English Language Universities“, which investigated the availability of mental health services offered to postsecondary students on campus compared to known prevalence rates of mental health issues.
She has also written a number of reports regarding best practices for youth serving programming offered by not-for-profit organizations across Ontario. She continues to engage in research and knowledge dissemination as a vehicle for advocacy and social justice.
Are you or a loved one struggling to find the right path to recovery? This episode dives deep into the world of addiction treatment and long-term sobriety.
Host Anthony speaks with Melanie, an addiction professional with personal recovery experience, about navigating the complex choices between virtual programs, outpatient care, and inpatient rehab. They discuss why some people relapse, what daily essentials help sustain long-term recovery, and how to choose the right treatment center.
This conversation also unpacks the difference between supporting and enabling a loved one, the role of families in recovery, and what to look for in public vs private treatment centers. Melanie also shares insights on medication-assisted recovery (like naltrexone and other emerging therapies), and how to stay connected to community and self-care.
Find her here
https://canatc.ca/biographies/melanie-matthews/
Subscribe for honest, practical advice and real recovery stories to inspire hope and healing.
After decades of drinking, failed restarts, and hitting countless rock bottoms, Tom found himself on the edge — alone in a Toronto condo, terrified and ready to end it all. But one small moment — looking into his dog’s eyes — changed everything.
In this raw and honest conversation, we talk about:
Surviving suicidal thoughts and choosing life one day at a time
Why “never too late” really matters in addiction recovery
The unexpected kindness of a first AA Zoom meeting
Practical tools to fight overwhelm: “next right thing,” morning check-ins, and self-compassion
If you’re struggling with addiction, self-worth, or feeling like change is impossible — this story will give you hope, practical recovery insights, and proof you’re not alone.
I say down with Chef Devan...
Driven by his desire and ambition to be the best in the business, Guyanese, Canadian Chef Devan Rajkumar (aka Chef Dev) has no boundaries when it comes to culinary exploration.Â
Chef Devan Rajkumar is on a mission to create food worth sharing that modernizes the craft, traditions and tastes of East and West Indian cuisines.Â
Whether that means owning the role of food expert on Cityline, traveling abroad to gain more experience and share his craft, appearing as a judge on Food Network Canada’s Fire Masters, developing signature soups with Mema Foods International or hosting pop-ups with chef peers both local and internationally on any given day.
This episode dives deep into the raw truths of addiction, relapse, and the ongoing journey of recovery. From finding podcasting as a lifeline in rehab, to rediscovering humility, service, and purpose, we explore how sobriety isn’t just about abstaining—it’s about learning how to live again.
You’ll hear powerful stories about:
Relapsing after 8 years and starting over
Wearing the “mask” and hiding behind ego
Functional alcoholism and the danger of high performance in addiction
How addiction stripped away passion—and how recovery brought it back
Why humility, service, and honesty are the keys to lasting change
If you’re looking for hope, tools, and real conversations about recovery, addiction, and mental health, this episode will resonate.
In this powerful episode of Recovering Out Loud, we explore the raw and unfiltered journey of a man who transformed his life from violence, drugs, and street survival to healing, meditation, and spiritual awakening. He shares his earliest memories of abuse, how he lost himself behind masks and identities, and the pivotal moment that led him to leave the street life behind.
Through deep reflections on meditation, forgiveness, spirituality, and personal growth, this episode dives into how letting go of control, finding inner guides, and practicing awareness can completely change the course of a life.
If you’ve ever struggled with identity, trauma, addiction, or resentment, this conversation is a reminder that transformation is possible—and that healing starts from within.
This is Braydon Lynch's story In this episode, we dive into one of the rawest stories you’ll ever hear about addiction, relapse, and recovery. Our guest shares how his addiction spiraled out of control — from growing up in a small hockey town to chasing validation in comedy and social media — until one night in Times Square, New York, brought him to his absolute rock bottom.
Naked, lost, and locked out of his hotel at 4:30 AM, he hit a breaking point. But instead of ending his life, a moment of grace — and a prayer — turned everything around. This shocking yet inspiring story shows how addiction can strip us down to nothing, but recovery can build us back up stronger than ever.
If you’ve ever struggled with addiction or know someone who has, this conversation is for you. It’s about shame, resilience, higher power, and the hope that comes from choosing life.
đź”” Follow us for more powerful recovery stories, sober tools, and unfiltered conversations about mental health and addiction.
This powerful episode dives into the raw reality of addiction, relapse, and recovery. Hasan shares his journey from building a business, losing $2.5M, and spiralling into cocaine and Percocet addiction — to finding peace through treatment, Suboxone, and a 12-step program.
💡 You’ll hear about:
Hitting rock bottom even after “having it all”
The mental obsession and physical cravings that make addiction relentless
How treatment, service, and spiritual growth brought lasting peace
The role of prayer, meditation, and helping others in staying sober
Whether you’re in recovery, supporting someone who is, or just curious about the process, this conversation will inspire you to keep moving forward — one day at a time.
Jennifer Baxendale and Kirstin Rajala were in NYC to attend the February 2020 show. Inspired by the night, and with their shared passion for women’s stories and lively events, they’ve signed up to bring the series to Canada.
Generation Women blends a lively literary salon with the tradition of handing down wisdom from community elders. Join us around the matriarchal campfire for an intimate events that celebrates the hearts and minds of many. Alongside cis women, we cast all gender expressions including non-binary folk and trans women.
What these 2 women are doing is incredible and you need to check them out now! Generation women. Im looking forward to attending these shows in Toronto! For tickets click the link!
https://www.generationwomen.ca/
Matthew Perry was more than Chandler Bing. In this powerful, 40-minute episode, we go beyond the laugh track to explore his real story — from childhood pain to global stardom, through a decades-long battle with addiction, near-death experiences, and hard-won moments of recovery.
Using insights from his memoir Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing and credible sources, we dive deep into the man behind the sarcasm. This episode is part tribute, part cautionary tale, and part message of hope for anyone battling their own “Big Terrible Thing.”
You’ll hear:
How Perry’s early life shaped his humor and hunger for fame
The inside story of Friends and why he doesn’t remember three entire seasons
His terrifying health battles, including a 2% chance of survival
What recovery meant to him — and how he wanted to be remembered
🎧 If you’re struggling with addiction, this episode is for you. You are not alone.
“I thought I was the biggest piece of shit walking on God’s green earth.”
In this gripping episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony sits down with Bo as he shares his raw journey through crystal meth addiction, terrifying psychosis, and over 50 stays in mental hospitals.
From feeling hated by everyone and hearing voices telling him he didn’t deserve to live, to finally discovering the spiritual tools that saved his life, this story is a brutally honest look at the cunning, baffling, and powerful nature of addiction.
This conversation is proof that even in the darkest moments, recovery and purpose are possible.
00:00 – “I thought everyone hated me”
02:30 – Discovering service through video creation
04:50 – Reliving stimulant psychosis through film
13:40 – Alcohol as the gateway to everything else
15:30 – “I went to the mental hospital 50 times”
18:05 – Rock bottom: broken mentally, physically, spiritually
20:15 – Daily reprieve and spiritual principles
27:00 – Resentment, relapse, and the gift of returning
33:00 – “The greatest gift is being of service”
41:00 – Living faith one day at a time
48:20 – Closing poem: I, The Addict
Patrick spent over two decades trapped in daily use, denial, and isolation. From high school parties to bartending life, from weed dependency to cocaine spirals, he believed recovery wasn’t possible. After losing relationships, hiding debts, and nearly losing his health, Patrick finally reached a breaking point when his family discovered the truth.
In this powerful conversation, Patrick shares how honesty and surrender opened the door to treatment — and how the support of family and the 12 steps gave him a new life. He opens up about childhood insecurity, the destructive grip of marijuana and cocaine, his eye-opening rehab experience, and the spiritual practices that keep him grounded today.
This is a raw and hopeful story about faith, service, and the freedom that comes with letting go. If you’ve ever felt alone in addiction, Patrick’s journey is living proof: recovery is possible.
00:00 – Introduction & Patrick’s first steps toward recovery
02:00 – First retreat experience & early sobriety milestones
05:40 – Childhood insecurity, masks, and constant worry
08:30 – High school party life: weed as his “higher power”
10:00 – Cocaine enters the picture in university
14:00 – Twelve years off hard drugs, but dependent on weed & alcohol
17:20 – Progression into bartending, debt, and isolation
20:20 – Dad’s stroke & the breaking point of honesty with family
24:00 – Entering rehab: resistance, breakthroughs, and self-love
29:00 – Discovering spirituality & meditation in recovery
40:00 – Daily essentials: prayer, meetings, kindness, connection
44:00 – The role of service and helping others in sobriety
47:00 – Letting go of outcomes & trusting the process
52:00 – Best advice: acceptance, empathy, and radical honesty
Mikes story is truly inspirational. Mike shares his raw and inspiring journey through addiction, near-death experiences, and the path to recovery. From early childhood substance use to brushes with death, Mike opens up about the pain, chaos, and turning points that led him to sobriety.
We dive deep into his experience with breathwork, meditation, spirituality,, and how these tools helped him transform his life. Mike’s story is proof that no matter how far gone you feel, there is always hope, healing, and a way forward.
👉 If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, this episode will show you that recovery is possible.
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After serving four years in prison, Emily O’Brien didn’t just rebuild her life—she built a brand. Comeback Snacks is now in over 1,500 stores, but the story behind it is about much more than popcorn. It’s about resilience, accountability, and using your past to fuel your future. In this episode, Emily shares her path from addiction to entrepreneurship, and why she believes everyone deserves a second chance.
After being sentenced to a four-year jail term, Emily set out on the mission to transform herself and make her time in jail as meaningful as possible. Having fostered an entrepreneurial career before her sentence, Emily developed the idea for Comeback Snacks to create mouth watering popcorn flavours, inspired by her experience of it being the perfect social snack to bring her and her fellow inmates together, and make the most of a tough time.Â
Aware of the hardships of being incarcerated, Emily is driven to help remove the stigma surrounding people with prior convictions, as well as connect them with opportunities for reintegration through training, empowerment and education.
Mary’s story will shake you — and give you hope.From losing her mother at just four years old, to growing up in an orphanage, and facing childhood trauma and abuse from her father, to falling into the grip of alcohol and cocaine… Mary knows darkness. She’s felt the hopelessness of relapse, the shame of rock bottom, and the fight it takes to claw your way back.
Now, with 26 years of sobriety, Mary is living proof that you can build a life you don’t need to escape from. In this raw, unfiltered conversation, she reveals:
Whether you’re in recovery, love someone who is, or just need proof that change is possible — Mary’s story will hit you straight in the heart.
MEET Jeff Wenninger
Retired LAPD Lieutenant, Nationally Recognized Law Enforcement Expert, and Founder & CEO of Law Enforcement Consultants, LLC
With over 33 years in law enforcement—primarily with the LAPD—Jeff Wenninger has seen the best and worst of policing. Rising through the ranks to lieutenant, he led officers through some of the most complex and high-stakes moments in modern law enforcement. Now, as the Founder & CEO of Law Enforcement Consultants, LLC, Jeff specializes in police use of force investigations, crowd management, school safety, and developing leadership practices that align policing with public trust.
His work isn’t about surface-level “reforms” or political catchphrases like “defunding the police”—it’s about driving the honest conversations that ignite change.
He focuses on leadership accountability, science-based training, and open communication that earns public trust while meeting the challenges of 21st-century policing.
In this episode, Anthony sits down with Jeff Wenninger—retired LAPD sergeant, consultant, and author of On Thin Ice—to discuss the raw realities of law enforcement, mental health, and addiction. Jeff shares how his upbringing shaped his empathy on the job, why culture always outweighs training, and the urgent need to reimagine policing. From personal stories on the front lines during the Rodney King riots to insights on breaking the stigma around mental health in law enforcement, Jeff pulls no punches. Whether you’re interested in mental health, policing, or just want to hear real talk about change, this episode delivers.
Jeffs upcoming book
On Thin Ice
Welcome to another powerful episode of the Recovering Out Loud podcast!
In this raw, unfiltered conversation, we dive deep into what it really takes to break the cycle of addiction—especially when it runs in the family. Our guest opens up about her journey from active addiction to recovery, the pain of watching her daughter struggle, and how both found freedom in their own time.
We explore tough questions like:
What’s the line between enabling and supporting a loved one?
How do you deal with shame that lingers even after you get sober?
Why does recovery sometimes feel harder than addiction?
The impact of trauma, spirituality, and finding real community in sobriety.
Whether you’re struggling, supporting someone who is, or just want an honest look at recovery—this episode is for you.
Subscribe, share, and leave a comment if this resonated!
Welcome to recovery rap! Follow Benjamin on instagram @benjamin.Lerner
https://www.instagram.com/benjamin.lerner?igsh=MTB3dm1pNnc1b3d1MQ==
What happens when you take addiction, pain, and trauma—and turn them into art that saves lives? In this episode, I sit down with Benjamin Lerner, better known as the “recovery rapper,” to unpack his raw journey from privileged beginnings and opioid addiction to finding purpose and truth through music.We dive deep: childhood struggles, crashing cars, hitting spiritual—and literal—bottom, and the turning point that kept him alive. Benjamin shares the real story behind his social media rise, how authenticity beats algorithm, and the life-saving power of service, creativity, and honesty in recovery.If you’ve ever felt like the drugs stopped working, or your story didn’t matter, this conversation will remind you: You have a voice. Pick up the phone. Hit post. Don’t quit before the miracle.Subscribe for more real recovery conversations and inspiration.
Heather’s story is one of grit, honesty, and transformation. In this raw and unfiltered episode, she opens up about two years spent homeless on the streets of Toronto, the cycles of relapse and short-lived sobriety, and what it really takes to get—and stay—sober. Heather shares the truth about battling urges, old habits, and the voices in her head, plus how journaling, service to others, and finally letting people in changed everything.
We talk about:
How addiction is never just about the drugs—and why the cravings for validation, excitement, or escape can be just as hard to fight
Why relapse isn’t the end, and what real “bottom” actually looks like
Finding purpose through helping others, and why one act of kindness can change someone’s life
How to support a loved one without losing yourself
The reality of being judged (and judging yourself) after addiction—and how to build real gratitude from rock bottom
If you’re struggling or know someone who is, this episode is for you. No matter how far you’ve fallen, hope and healing are always possible. If we can do it, so can you.